Random boredness hahaha

Saw this in shing's blog and i decided to do it as well :D

Your Brain is 53% Female, 47% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it. You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you. Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people. You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together. Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly. People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it! The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

Haha..i was amazed how accurate these were. oh wells..haha. indeed there some things about myself that people dont get to see everyday.

More videos

Okay, i think this is becoming a vlog lol.

DAMN! LOL!!!

WTFOMFG SH*T..DAMN! LOL..some stupid friend of mine showed me this video..i literally laughed my 455 off. hahahahaha! *Sorry im trying real hard to control my intense laughter LOL!

u gotta be kidding me..this is e most terrifying video ive ever seen! theres "punch me in the face" written all over lol. O_O if someone does that in front of me, id probably run away or something -.-"

and i thought i had retarded random videos O_O mebbe i should start an MTV -_-

Videos wahaha

Haha i found this on youtube..the day when liu geng hong came for our CHC emerge this year. A singer cum artiste cum celgrp leader leading a celebrity celgrp..

(Music player is at e bottom, press END to stop music before watching)

Sometimes when i feel whenever i dont have any vision to carry on, looking at how God used him, i just feel so encouraged. and to know that A-Mei, FIR and Jay Chou are attending e same church as them makes me wanna take e world for Christ.

Furthermore, our church is affiliated with theirs. i remembered during Emerge conference, the performances by taufik, superstar champions, etc..God is doing something..and i dont have time to lie down and rot..

Short update

Ive started on the registration for my project. Still stuck at codes. Checkpoint 2 submission is before monday. graah.

I love the weather recently..or mebbe its just me..it certainly feels refreshing and as if im in a chalet..haha. i think its just me. Sitting in the canteen alone, staring at the scenery, looking at birds flying by and feel the afternoon breeze that smells like the beach and east coast park..

Right now, im waiting for the conference call thats supposed to take place. like 20minutes ago. Hmm. smells of food outside and watching GodTube. was really blessed by one of the videos Cinthia sent me..thanks sis.

In that video, was this song, and I thought its a really nice song..

Cause You're I want,
You're all I need,
You're everything, everything.

No Title

Post @ LJ

Anything comment me there. I dont wanna stumble anyone and I dont want anyone to think Im any different from you. Im just a guy with nothing, used by God to do great things.

A normal guy with a hunger for God. Thats all.

I have nothing to show off.

MAB, PM

for a start, turn off music before attempting to watch e video. press END to go to e bottom where my player is.

PM was good..what else can I say? God showed up. For me at least. ha. Id never expect myself to lay hands and pray for a cg leader - during the time when we were praying in small groups.

It felt weird..cus normally its e leader that prays for us. But today, God gave me e opportunity to do e other way round. I felt so intimidated at first..cus i mean, what can I pray? he's a leader and im just a regular guy who's not even from his cg..

but man..after it all, i was burning hot on my face and on my hands as i prayed. power of God was all over my hands and face :o i knew it was a kairos moment. and i flowed with Him.

sometimes God moves and u have to be quick to follow. seize every opportunity, dont take the move of God for granted. and i like what adam said, "I respect God's time". be faithful in e little and much will be given to you.

oh well..the first video is just MAB shredding away..its NOT a song. just techniques jumbled together. this video is like 20 years plus old so..yea. he's still e fastest guitarist around, #1 as shown on GuitarOne for a few years in a row already.

im still looking for HELP!!! OH GOSH!!! MY PROGRAMMING!!! ARRGH!!! im getting a leeeeetle pissed =/

Update

Dreamt that while I was using my lappy in my room, Felicia Chin appeared outside my window, waved and said Hi. oh wells..lol. Happy-happy.

Im really frustrated..im trying to find help ASAP and desperately but I cant seem to find any. 3 Dec I have to submit my prototype and 10 Dec is my common test.

Im sick and tired of stoning everyday looking at codes and not being able to do anything...!

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time

with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		10
Words of Affirmation:		9
Acts of Service:		5
Receiving Gifts:		4
Physical Touch:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Recents, Rhema

For those who have been praying for me, thanks..its really been a trying week for me and e devil just wont let me go. ive said things i should, and thought of things i shouldnt..but if God said it, it shall be accomplished.

all of us have our ups and downs like qiyu said..dont think just because ive been a christian longer it means my life is smooth sailing. on the contrary, the attacks are greater, longer and tougher. just like a video game..each level has different monsters.

if ure at level5 dont expect to take on a lvl50 monster. the reason i challenge level50 monsters in my life is because it took everything from me, all my time, energy, sacrifice, to get to where i am. sometimes people think its okay, but how many actually know me deep down..

everyday is a battle, everyday is a fight. i like what the bleach anime said, 'we are born to fight.' the moment we are born, we are to fight. fight e devil, fight e spirit of e world, fight to protect, fight to triumph. dont always stay on e defensive side, u have a sword, use to strike. if u are feeling pissed..direct it at the devil! dont waste time on people..

like i said before, dont let e devil escape, show him no mercy. i think because i said that, thats why suddenly my life became a living hell and i have trials and temptations overwhelming me from every side! good! at least i know im saying something that is true! and im glad im pissing e devil off!

they always say, an apple a day keeps e doctor away. likewise in e spirit, a rhema a day keeps e devil away! as i was listening to this song..i was reminded, God is bigger than any situation. He can move the mountains. He is mighty to save! and i was praying and flipping through the bible doing a short qt before i leave for school and i stumble across this text..

it may not sound like anything when u first read it..but when i read it, a revelation came into me. NEVER despise verses that look uncommon. every word, every punctuation has a purpose! even if ure reading a verse for the hundredth time, every time is different, God is a God of new things, there is always something u can learn.

let me sidetrack a bit, there was once i received a revelation from a 9 year old boy, playing at the arcade. dont look down on people just because they are younger or less mature than you. NEVER think you are right, NEVER think you know..THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING YOU CAN LEARN! even from the MOST INSIGNIFICANT!

thats how i grow, thats how i stay strong. if you are truly hungry for more, then ull do whatever it takes right? dont think u cant learn from the unchurched, dont think they are always wrong..because just one assumption and you will miss your entire destiny and calling! whenever people criticise, i dont care whether they're saved or not, ALWAYS ESTEEM OTHERS HIGHER THAN YOURSELF!

everytime someone says something bad about me, i will always ask God, God..what can i learn. that should be your attitude! TEACHABILITY! if ure someone who cant accept criticism and feedback, then ure really missing the whole point on being a disciple.

the moment u think uve arrived, thats where the danger of stagnation will come. u wont experience breakthrough, ull feel dry..because u think uve arrived, u think ure right, u think ure going the right direction..and nothing seems to be moving because ure not willing to learn, not willing to accept total defeat!

unless you die to yourself, unless you die to your friends, unless you die to your circumstances, u WILL NOT bear fruit! i treat every person as my leader. the reason i get revelations is not because i am super spiritual..but because i pull from everyone, im a hungry man searching everywhere for the presence and the power of God.

i treat everyone around me, like my leaders..because i know every single individual whether saved or unsaved, are placed in my life for a reason, for a purpose. thats how God speaks to me through people..through practically anyone and everyone! yes sometimes people will let you down, but i MAKE the decision to be teachable!

dont think ure right. dont think uve arrived. because since ure right, since uve arrived..so thats it..you can stop there and not move on. if people say i have a problem i need to change, i change. even if its coming from friends who arent saved. i will still listen because i treat everyone as if its the same way i treat God.

how you treat people, reflects how you treat God.
how you think of people, reflects how you think of God.
how you talk to people, reflects how you talk to God.

everyone is made in e likeness and image of God, u are no different!
if God died for them, then treat them with respect!

they are creations of the most high king,
sons and daughters of the most high God,
prized possessions of the Lord of Lords!

"as you did it to the least of these, you did it unto Me."

back to my revelation:

I got it from a very unlikely verse. in Ezekiel 47:1-12

Then the man brought me back to the entrance of the Temple. There I saw a stream flowing eastward from beneath the Temple threshold. This stream then passed to the right of the altar on its south side.

The man brought me outside the wall through the north gateway and led me around to the eastern entrance. There I could see the stream flowing out through the south side of the east gateway.

Measuring as he went, he led me along the stream for 1,750 feet and told me to go across. At that point the water was up to my ankles.

He measured off another 1,750 feet and told me to go across again. This time the water was up to my knees. After another 1,750 feet, it was up to my waist.

Then he measured another 1,750 feet, and the river was too deep to cross without swimming.

He told me to keep in mind what I had seen; then he led me back along the riverbank.

Suddenly, to my surprise, many trees were now growing on both sides of the river!

Then he said to me, "This river flows east through the desert into the Jordan Valley, where it enters the Dead Sea. The waters of this stream will heal the salty waters of the Dead Sea and make them fresh and pure.

Everything that touches the water of this river will live. Fish will abound in the Dead Sea, for its waters will be healed. Wherever this water flows, everything will live.

Fishermen will stand along the shores of the Dead Sea, fishing all the way from En-gedi to En-eglaim. The shores will be covered with nets drying in the sun. Fish of every kind will fill the Dead Sea, just as they fill the Mediterranean!

But the marshes and swamps will not be purified; they will be sources of salt.

All kinds of fruit trees will grow along both sides of the river. The leaves of these trees will never turn brown and fall, and there will always be fruit on their branches. There will be a new crop every month, without fail! For they are watered by the river flowing from the Temple. The fruit will be for food and the leaves for healing."

The temple represents our bodies. As a living sacrifice at the altar of God. When your life is on the altar, rivers of living water will flow out of you.

Every dead sea will thrive with life! Every Jordan of your lives, will be made afresh! You will become fruitful, you will see many fruits, many 'fishes' coming into your life. Your surrounding and your circumstances will suddenly COME TO LIFE!

Because u have been broken at the altar. RIVERS FLOWING OUT OF YOU.

RIVERS THAT BRING LIFE! RIVERS THE BRINGS REFRESHING!

marshes and swamps will be come places of SALT CONTENT! EVEN IN YOUR DRYNESS, EVEN IN YOUR TOUGH MOMENTS, YOU WILL STILL SHINE AS THE SALT OF THE EARTH, THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD, bringing life, bringing flavour, bringing the HEALING POWER OF GOD into EVERY SITUATION!

the leaves of these trees will not fall! YOUR FRUITS WILL REMAIN because they are watered with the rivers of living water that flow out of you when your life is broken before the altar of God! Fishes of every kind will fill the dead sea! Everything that touches this water shall live! YOUR DREAMS WILL BE RESURRECTED, dead relationships and visions and dreams will be restored!

there will be a new crop every month without fail! you will be productive and you will begin to see your destiny unfold before your very eyes..BECAUSE YOU ARE WILLING TO BE BROKEN AT THE ALTAR OF GOD AND LET THE RIVERS FLOW OUT OF YOU!



People always say my posts are boring and pictureless..so ill just end with this really dumb pic of myself doing 'God-knows-what'.

Title

Post @ LJ.com

Service, Random

Service with ps tan was good. somehow i feel really drawn to ps tan. he may be the more serious/shy/intelligent type..but look at how God can use him. when i see him somehow i saw myself..

and e sermons he preaches are always practical and in season. it never failes to inspire and ignite the fire of passion in me. reuben morgan and his band was good too. even though i can hardly hear myself, but e presence of God came..

the trojan is still irritating me. every 2-3 seconds a notification pops up..even now since i typed the first word in this entry till, there are already a total of 70+ notifications..my previous post you saw HUNDREDS! lol. =/

had dinner at eighteen chefs. quite a cosy place and the good there is not bad. eric and his 1.5 'bottles' of cheese mountain on his baked rice hahaha. overkill man.

anyway, yea..was talking to momo on the phone. and we were talking abt e "guys' issue" which i think u people know abt. i was reminded of something ps derek or ps tan said before.

The devil doesnt need to make you fall behind, all he has to do is to keep you at where you are.

its good we keep on the fight of faith, but the moment, we are stagnating, the moment we are compromising..then its time to stop and start observing what is going on..

Backsliding is not going backwards, backsliding is anything but going forward.

in everything, theres a limit or a threshold, we have to live a life of balance. then again, im always inspired by this phrase, 'relationship precedes ministry'. before you attend to a friend, u have to make sure ur spiritual walk is strong FIRST..then you serve. afterall, if God doesnt move on ur behalf..u wont accomplish anything by ur own strength.

i really feel its in this time of trials and testings, that we're even closer together. esp me, momo and thad. throughout the day, 2 things have been imprinted onto my heart.

1. Taking up the cross DAILY and follow Him/Denying self.

2. True friendships are forged in the fire.

Why God allows sufferings

I found this in an email :)

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering ...

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:
"I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.
Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.
I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:
"You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.
"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because
if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me."
"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist!
That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.
That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Kinda like the example that goes:

When bad things happen, don't blame God and ask ridiculous questions like why did He allow these things to happen.

Try asking the Land Transport Authority (LTA) of Singapore, "Excuse me, why do you allow road accidents?" They can sue you for going against authority.

Did they allowing speeding? No. Did they allow traffic accidents? No. Are they in charge? Yes.

So then where are there still road accidents? Its because people choose not to obey the law.

Celgrp, Pub, Trojan

Celgrp was short and sweet. Used amp today..haha..it was certainly better..i could sustain and hold my note longer and i dont have risk breaking my strings haha..and i do intend to change my strings really soon. pl came for makeup too. glad u managed to get home safely =) and yes, ure welcome haha.

On the way to bugis for supper, had a confrontation issue with a special member. haha..now you know what i go through everyday..and ill be more than glad if u volunteer yourself to take my place. just ask those who were in adam's car..lol..loudspeaker somemore.

So yes..if im talking nonsense or really random stuffs that arent funny, take into consideration i deal with such temperament almost everyday. so count yourself lucky. plus my final year project stress, its really killing me.

okay about my previous post..i might sound fierce..actually i think i do. when u listen e message on preference and conviction, you'll understand where im coming from. if u wanna ask me out now is the wrong time la deyy..now AnB. FLOW man FLOW! lol.

recently someone used my laptop..now there are trojans all over. making a scene, its getting irritating and its a nuisance. you wanna see 100 over trojan errors??? never see before? ill take screenshot and show you the extent of the damage.

worse still, all my project files are inside..if they're corrupted im gonna get pissed. im not gonna do Poly year5 just because of some stupid trojans and viruses. and because of it, i cant upload e songs onto my esnips. even if i do..the quality is greatly reduced cus the trojan has something to do with file sharing/shared folders.

and every program that runs lags! for some reason everytime someone uses my laptop, bad things happen. whether is it my bro or my friend. and the bible talked about stewardship. you fail to be a good steward of what you have, you will eventually lose it.

just came home from pubbing with my cg. before that had dessert at ah chew or something, or liang seah st, ill never forget that name, cus i was compelled to type it out on sms for a special individual..ah chew..hmm..sounded like the shop owner was sneezing when he/she was thinking of a name for the stall LOL.

after that went to this really cosy and beautiful pub at the 'red building' at maxwell rd, tanjong pagar, where sebas works at. man, im glad to see him in cg for 2 consecutive weeks already. i really miss you bro.

adam and thomas didnt order alco drinks cus they driving. so we were ordering..some drinks had names like sex on a beach, pussy juice, or some other strange names and i was like laughing my head off..haha.

and thomas had his virgin lime haha..not bad..got sugar coating on the tip of the glass. its my first time into a pub cus none of my close friends pub or club for that matter. i find it boring, unless its quality time with close friends then yea, its something different altogether.

i mean..just look at me..just say hi to me and ill become 'high' already LOL. yes..all those desperate drinkers are gonna get so jealous..because i have what e world doesnt have! oh yeah! i really dont understand how guys can club to see girls i mean..THATS SO WEAK!

one day if all the clubs close down ure gonna commit suicide? give me a break. thats stupid! recently, one of my female friends was like.."when you club, never wear a skirt, esp when u know u or ur friends are gonna get drunk.."

like..hello? DID YOU LOSE YOUR COMMON SENSE ALL THIS WHILE? now then you know ah! ure so NOOB! put urself in danger for what..thats so stupid. honestly, im not an adventurous kind of person..

my love language is quality time and word of affirmation. not drunkeness and monkeyism. yea..monkeyism..people who are unglam while in a drunken state..got once got this lady..while being drunk..she tripped on her heels and fell..LOL.

if i were there i confirm ROFLMAOLOL!

'omg ure so mean..'

yea right..

'omg she's so dumb' O_O

anyway, the drink i ordered was really cheap i feel. for a lychee martini cocktail for $15, i gota free refill so its $7.50 per drink haha..which wasnt too bad for me. took some pictures..had this really huge bowl of fries and they're crispy! woosh. and the calamari..woot..taste like butter cereal prawn! hahaha..everyone would agree LOL.

and so i had 2 glasses..but e second one was quite strong..i think cus they closing then they 'bao-ka-liao' put all the alchohol into my drink or something LOL!. i shared half with timomo. i love lychees haha..when we used to go bedok int for fellowship, i would order the large lychee cup! haha..

anyway, i just koped all the buttery crisps hahaha! well not really koped, more like..'helped myself' haha. played cards, chatted and laughed like nobody's business..we were really blessed to have the entire VIP room by ourselves haha..cus it was quite late and yea.

we fellowshipped from 12 plus to 2am +. adam was nice to send us home..he also wanted to have kind of a 'guys talk' at e same time haha. while e rest followed thomas. took some pics..but i never got to see the result..cus it was pretty dark and the flash was super bright i was blinded! lol. all in all..it was a good time and it certainly helped bring us closer. played taitee also haha.

we should have more chillout nights after cg. the last time was at vivo..its amazing how we can fellowship for almost 2hours with just a box of ice cream, asking 'burning' questions haha. today was good too.

service later..reuben morgan woohoo. haha. wayne once commented on my guitar playing style, he said it was very reuben morgan..LOL..i was like huh? haha. okay la. got room to improve. dual guitarist for cg..sounds cool. =)

let me end with a scary trojan message.

'What in the world' rantings

okay, im getting a leeeeetle pissed off.

i dont see why some girls just keep on asking me, 'hey are u free? wanna meet?'. NO! im not free and i dont meet strangers! i dont do blind dates and even if it wasnt a blind date, then know one thing..relationship precedes ministry.

and hello..i dont even know you.

u wanna carry out ur own agenda, at least build rapport with me first. dont go round asking me if im free, if i got time or if i wanna meet. cus its just not gonna work! at least with me. you think im ur boyfriend or something?

unless ure my girlfriend dont go round asking me if im free or if i wanna meet. and for one particular guy..messaging me things like: "Hi tmr after cg you got time for me? :)" NO! im not desperate for girls neither am i gay. so..no. O_O

this is so stupid. they always say guys are desperate for girls, id never known girls can be just as deperate. or maybe a 'unique' guy. hello? you think im very free? no im not free. do you even see a price tag on me? no right? so yes. im not free. im priceless.

i have a project to rush. and today's meeting with my supervisor was a complete disaster! im sooo lagging behind. you wanna date me? u help me get a B for my IHP and ill give you an opportunity even if i dont know you.

im getting a leeeeetle pissed. and just now at the lift..whats with this stupid lady..she stand right in front of the door, adjusting her bra and rubbing her THINGS. im already freaked out as it is. you give me that 'what are you looking at?' face. you do that to me, im gonna give you the 'you think ure pretty?' face!

come on. im fasting. you dont even turn me on a BIT! only cockroaches and darn dogs will be attracted to you. i mean..hello? yes. she's okay looking but turn on? sorry not me. you know the lift is gonna stop at e 1st floor, and u still stand in front of the door and rub your things. and im like in front of e door?

the only thing ure turning on is my FISTS! ~.O

and mind u those lift doors had those 'windows' or glass or whatever u wish to call it. HELLO? its a window! not a mirror! why dont you bathe beside a window huh? ohhhhhh! looook! im so preeeeety i can seeee myself in the mirror, no erm i mean..window! yea right.

i hope the window crack before your eyes and u fall a few storeys down! O_O. strange women these days. now im not saying all women are strange..just a small bunch. dont come to me and 'what are u looking at?'..if im in a bad mood ill reply, 'everything but you!'

dont let beauty take away your brains and common sense! i can say that cus im not that attractive myself. thats why im smarter and more accomplished than you! HAHA!

In school

Im really tense.

I cant think. I cant focus.

My supervisor is coming in at 230pm to check my work..and i have nothing to show except my mainpage :S my registration is not even done yet. and im stuck with dropdown lists and database connection strings :S

celgrp tonight..i got lots of things to focus on..and this tension is making it worse :( God help me..

Programming Sucks

Ive had it with programming. 4 years of programming is getting nowhere. its done nothing for the past few years other than draining my life energy. im sick and tired of doing something i hate, something i detest.

im staring at codes and wondering what to do..when i have to submit my checkpoint 2 tmr. what do i have to submit? nothing!

and failing my first QLA test sucks.

got 0/15 for one stupid question just because i drew the wrong table. but at least give me marks for my correct answers right? man, with you as my module leader, i rather take a course on Advanced Male Prostitution than this stupid module.

grrraaah i cant take it anymore. T_T ASP.NET..who the hell invented that? im gonna go to ur grave and dig right into your corpse and pee on it!

Ears, Tissue paper

If you were at my desk now, you would probably see a white 'holey' tissue paper. yes..my nose is catching up with me.

my earphones are spoilt too..well..the right side. gotta get a new one. music sounds weird, playing game sounds weird, watching videos sound weird too. O_O

And theres a trojan on my laptop.

Just when things couldnt go wrong..

Sufferings

VIDEO

I wish I knew how to embed video and resize em. :S For now, its a direct link.

I think its not only prophetic, but its a word in season, for me personally.

Enjoy.

Project

I just love the weather today. How I wish I could go to the canteen and chill with donuts and lemon barley, at e same time, enjoy the cool breeze and nice scenery. But i cant..lol..cus my 3/12 has started.

Indeed, one week without 3/12 is like hell for me. Ive grown to be dependent on God. Which is good. Have to submit checkpoint 2 of my project by this week. Hopefully i can get the registration, pending and login pages working properly.

Spirit of God, once again rain down like never before..

Leadership Files - Opportunity

Quote - ' Opportunities multiply as they are seized' - Sun Tzu

Take advantage of your advantages.

You have certain contacts, you have certain experiences.

You have certain advantages in any situation.

These are the keys to the doors of your opportunities.

There are opportunities falling like rain all around us every day.

Some are heavily disguised.

Anything declaring it is an opportunity generally is not.

When you see your opportunity, seize it with all your might.

It may never pass this way again.

Then there are those opportunities that you create.

They would never exist unless you made them.

But that's another story.

Something random:

Robb Thomson - Your destiny is decided the moment your friends are chosen. We don't change our friends, our friends mould us.

7 Places With Passion

I guess there's nothing more to say. :)

More myheritage :P

Hmmm.....


LMAO!

Just something random. I found something shocking. There's this friend on my facebook, that stays in e same area as me. Goes to e same sch as me, is even in e same course as me..and the birthday is almost e same too! Just one day after..:O

Scarrryyyy...lol

HAHAHA! I cant believe i have a feminine face!

The video shouldnt load too long.

Thats something u dont see everyday O_O.

Likeness percentage:

Zhang Ziyi: 74%

Gosh thats gotta be e biggest joke man. :$

Recent Happenings, War, Fired up

Its back to school for me, and back to my 'confinement'. Im really short of time. Many things have happened recently and who do I blame? The devil.

If you think ill blame the people involved, give me break. I dont do things like that lol. Thats why he's called the 'accuser' for a reason. When we are in a good mood, we say, God is good, we say I love you to our friends, and we bind the devil.

But when things go wrong, all of a sudden, satan disappears from the scene, and all we see is God and people..and we tend to blame God and blame people. I know there are people still pissed with me, but you can make the choice not to. I love the post from timo's blog, the mark of maturity is to be able to keep your emotions in check.

I remembered a friend once asked me..how do i get out of depression in 24hours? is there a secret? well, its not really a big secret. You just choose to get out of it, you hate it, and you expose the devil's plans..thats all. Once his plans are exposed, he will have to back out. all i did was to say in my spirit, "satan, dont think i dont know what ure trying to pull".

of course i dont just say it for e sake of saying, but my spiritual senses are actually AWARE and i KNOW what is going on.

after making that confession, faith began to arise on e inside of me. and i pushed him back. dont be afraid to face him, know who you are and what you have! constantly apply what you learn, becos the Word is your WEAPON! no use having the shield of faith and getting whacked all the time..STRIKE BACK!

But on e contrary, satan's secret weapon is lies. And when bad things happen, he disappears from the scene and we forget that bad things come from the devil. and thus, u have people who say, "huh? what? no my fault what.." people think that way because the devil came, planted a bad seed and 'zao-ed'.

If not i wouldnt have called jolene yesterday. Adam told me, must always see things from God's perspective. And i remembered evan telling me..anything not natural, is supernatural. All these things happening during building fund season is not natural.

I know for sure that im not the only one feeling the 'difference'. Friends from other zones and cg share with me the same thing and similar experiences. It came all of a sudden and it came in a really big way.

i hate to put it this way, but u must know satan as much as u know God. if you dont know ur enemy and how he strikes, how are you gonna defend urself? how do u even know if he's coming since he comes as a 'thief'?

thats why e moment i went emo, i stopped, i called adam, and i immediately saw the devil at work. i saw past the issue, i saw past even the people and i saw something happening in e spirit realm..and i dealt with it.

ur natural circumstances wont change until the spiritual condition changes.

no point getting upset with people. my life motto is.."NEVER LET THE DEVIL ESCAPE SMILING, SHOW NO MERCY!"

if ure feeling down, smile! if ure feeling emo, praise n worship God! if ure feeling confused and directionless, PRAY! show no mercy to e devil. i guess thats one thing good abt me. i may be strong in words and thought, but when e devil is exposed, i make sure he 'dies a terrible death!'

come on, dont be afraid of him. stop living in self pity and disappointment! Hello???? Are you going to let e devil get away and 'regroup' his forces? STRIKE BACK! dont be naive, dont be easy prey, thats what i told myself. dont retreat, dont have a victimized and defeatist attitude. dont withdraw, DEAL WITH IT!

time wont heal anything!

if ur angry, then direct it to satan! thats partly the reason how i dont get angry nor lose my temper easily..cus i do it in my quiet time and i save all the anger and frustration and BIND THE DEVIL AT NIGHT!

check ur emotions. what are you feeling? what triggered it? who was involved?

those questions are good, but the ultimate question is: How is the spiritual realm revolving around that situation like? 4th-dimension thinking. Life is more than just what you see, what you hear, what you feel.

Sometimes we dont even know that we are used by e devil. spirit of confusion, spirit of disunity, spirit of fear, dont think i dont know you guys are hiding somewhere! dont think i dont know what u guys are trying to pull in my life and in e lives of others!

you just pissed off the wrong guy! i will slice u with e sword of the spirit until u run away crying! and even if you do run away, i will take a stone from the ground and throw at you! all those negative emotions, im tired of them..

you guys are the only people i will say..

"GO AND BURN IN HELL!"

I love my celgrp, and I love my friends, even i dont feel like, i will make that confession. because i have enough encounters with God to give me the faith to believe confession changes reality!

stupid satan and stupid spirits of fear, disunity, confusion, etc..HUH you guys have so many stupid names that i cant be bothered to name them all! step into my household, step into my cg, step into my life again and dont expect me to go easy on you!

if i ever see a sad face on my members', my own face or my friends' faces again, ill make all of you pay! NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER!

OH YEAH IM FIRED UP! 3/12, here i come!

Misunderstandings Part 2

I just wanna make my stand. I hate no one. its impossible for me to hate anyone for that matter. "YOU LIE!" well..just ask yourself have i thrown temper at anyone in their face before? no. even if u throw ur temper at me, i just stood there and smiled.

is it possible for me to get hurt? yes. all the time. when im angry, i direct anger towards myself and i choose to hurt myself rather than hurt others. you have no idea how someone close to me almost committed suicide because of my temper being unleashed at the person in the past..but thats just the past. i choose not to be angry, thats why i hurt myself instead, because i know what im capable of.

i dont hate people. and i dont look down on people. if not 2 'special' friends wouldnt have been saved in just 3 weeks. just see the fruits. and see my encounters with God.

and yes..there are issues i face with people. i share it only with Cass, Shing and Timo, because they're e ones i feel close to now. even when i had my struggles with my past 'relationships', i blogged for the whole world to see. "huh? since when? you got gf meh?" indirectly, yes..but i didnt get involved. click my archives. but thats not e point..i dont really have all the time in the world to be a busybody and poke my nose into ur friend's life.

yes, im a busybody. busy with projects and busy with gaming. O_O

There are some posts which are partly specific, and some which are just general. you dont have to feel offended unless u really feel i was referring to you. but no, i mean, thank God for tricia, i told her that my posts are not directed just at ONE person. and yes, we've cleared things up. i just somehow feel some people are getting e wrong idea. especially when 3 to 4 people are involved.

i may be lonely, but im not THAT lonely. unfortunately my cg are not e only people im close to. i have people out there. Cass has her own circle of friends, Shing too, and of course, me and timo, the guys thing...i dont mixmatch our different issues together. the reason i keep identities from my posts is because i dont like pointing fingers.

i dont call face to face, unless i feel its absolutely necessary. afterall, even if i did..would you believe what i said? would you even give me a chance to speak for that matter without shooting at me? ive had enough bad call and bad real life experiences.

so thats more or less about it all. tricia has extended to me the invitation to ask and to clarify with her last night. now its time i extend mine to yours..

ask me and i will clarify even more. as for e person who shouted at me over e phone. ive forgotten about it already. if u need to feel better after a 'release' feel free to do so in the future. as a friend, i give u permission to shout at me when ure feeling down.

these 2 posts are for the following specifics:

Pamela, Pohchoo, Jolene.

i dont want some friends from another cg/zone come to me instead. lol..if youve been mistaken, feel free to come to me too. ill tell u whats going in my cg, but i wont be specific and i wont give names.

Clearing misunderstandings

Things might have been resolved..but deep down. Im not fine.

I felt betrayed by the one person dearest to me. For not telling me some things and leaving me in the dark all by myself. It was 4 against 1.
I just feel it deep down.

When someone gets offended, he/she can run to their click.
For me, I dont have a click.
Or anyone I can turn to for that matter.
I just swallow it myself.

1 person has talked to me.
The other 3 might simply ignore me.
1 or 2 might pretend nothing happened.

He knew, they knew. I was in the dark and i was treated as though I knew that he knew.
When I called you, you treated me like dirt, just waiting to be stepped upon.
Ive been lied to. By the one who said he wasnt informed.

I cannot accept it..and i tried to defend him, but I was wrong. He did know about it, but He made me play his game of hide and seek. Now it seems its 5 against 1. Im losing my trust with the people around me. im losing friends, im losing everything. all because of one lie.

even though he did eventually told me e truth, it was too late.

Mebbe its time I stepped out of people's lives.
Mebbe its time I stopped trying to be a leader because it will never happen.
All these sacrifices are going nowhere.

Im just waiting for the day someone would say to me,
"If you wanna leave, then leave".
Did I hit the nail? I dont know, and I dont care anymore.

If you dont like me, just tell me.
Mebbe I know leon too well, sometimes I feel I belong to his click.
I dont feel close to anyone anymore.

I shall quote from my conversation window.
You can be angry with me for all I care, blame me for intrusion into people's privacy for all I care. Everything was a lie.

I will put down everything that happened on my side of the story..go ahead and hate me all you want. you can also choose not to believe the following:

4:37:18 PM plz tell pam the same thing i just told u to inform liz.

4:37:29 PM EVERYTHING STOPS AT THE 3 OF U K

4:37:46 PM :D

*I continued to explain how I got to know about things and stuff. And started SMSing her e same thing I told lizhen.

4:44:48 PM have to talked to pam regarding what i asked u to??

4:44:57 PM same as liz

4:45:28 PM i need to know who exactly knows abt it and where did she hear it from and ultimately......!!!!! why wasnt i informed

*I dare not call, I SMSed. I got her reply. "alot of people know already, she said so herself"

4:47:44 PM i need to know who exactly knows abt it and where did she hear it from and ultimately......!!!!! why wasnt i informed...............i need to know these things

4:48:12 PM whats the explanation here

4:54:20 PM im waiting for reply

4:54:39 PM plz call her b4 i do

*I knew he was angry I smsed and didnt call. Knowing he was gonna lose it, I called. Instead, i got treated as if i was a demon sent from hell.

5:05:01 PM So how? I called and got a lashing instead =/

5:10:28 PM u did the right thing drew so dun worry...honestly i'm very disappointed...guess to some of my membs it seems that i dun have the RIGHT to be their cgl...i dun think being frustrated is gg to help anymore.

5:10:41 PM i'll look into it personally .... and let Pst know

Hearing him say those things just broke my heart..

right now i dont even care if you think im lying or not. or you could even think i faked those quotes and modified them. you want screenshot i can post it up also if you want. Yes, i was harsh with my posts and with my words.

because all along i believed in a lie. and no one came to tell me the truth. except one person herself. you all think im against it. im not. you all think i despise, i didnt. this is has nothing to do with the issue. this has nothing to do even with the person

i merely said those things was because someone i loved and looked up to, was hurt. and i wanted to defend him. but..it was discovered as a half truth eventually. when Liz sent me the sms at 9.36PM with adam's msg that he already knew 3 wks back O_O.

and some people might think my entire post is directed at one person? come on. you think im really that shallow? i have other people in my life who are more troublesome than you O_O you wanna take my place?

you think you can fellowship with an emo? or sleep in the same room as someone who's been through a mental 'trauma'? id be more than happy for you to take over my responsibility. already i dont despise these people who are different, i can even sleep in e same room as them. would you tell one of them, "come over to my place and stay over, u can sleep in my room."?

i think u would freak out. =.=

you think ill hate one individual just because of something like this? oh man. you are sooo wrong my dear. i dont deal with people. i deal with character flaws. thats all. thats how im able to keep my cool. thats how im able to have the capacity to love people who offend me, to love people who are different.

im not speaking TO the person, im speaking to the spirit BEHIND the person. why do you think im still here even though i feel like changing cg? because e devil is here. and if nobody's gonna go against him or even notice him, i will.

even if it means both my knees are injured as a result, my brother injured also, and its so bad he couldnt attend service this week, and im fortunate enough to be able to walk. why do you think the devil doesnt spare my family? even my own brother whos innocent in all this? thats because im doing my best to piss the devil off.

i look at my own life and even im in shock. the 2 people that responded during service and all are people who are 'unique'. for some reason the people im reaching out to effectively, are not your normal everyday people. i dont know if i have e anointing to reach out to 'special' people or not. but thats whats been happening.

some of u might disagree with me, but i find these people nice to hang out with and i can click with them. yea, go ahead and vomit. ^.O

i hope all ur misunderstandings are resolved. if you wanna cling on to them, then i have nothing to say. i was obedient, i said the truth. and thats all i can do. anyway, me and her its cleared. this post is for those who might think im holding onto a silly grudge or something.

PS: i didnt create a LJ blog to hide things from you. i just created it because someone different is paranoid over some things and he sneaks to me blog often to see if i mention his name, esp when he's under 'special medication'. he thinks im gonna tell e whole world about it. i couldnt sleep well that night. i think ull also know who. i was like praying in tongues underneath my blanket la.

yes, i was freaked out. you have no idea how scary it was. to realise u have missing files/smses/histories/data from your laptop and from your handphone while you were sleeping. and when suddenly someone becomes panicky and starts talking to you.

imagine at night, ure alone in a room with someone 'special'..and u thought he had slept. cus a person was lying on the make-shift bed next to urs..behind my chair.

and the lights off..and all of a sudden u see a figure standing right next to you breathing right into your face! DONT TELL ME YOU WONT FREAK OUT! and that figure stood facing his head towards ur laptop screen and looked as if you are trying to reveal things and wanted to make sure u dont even when u had no intention to! and he knows ur blog, email, friendster what not.

you think im exaggerating? no. thats basically what happened. im not even gonna go into e details before i freak some of u out and u dare not sleep tonight.

What in the world man.

Things are cleared. Goodness me, this whole thing is so stupid la. waste my time and energy. make me get 'roared' at by some actress from a horror movie for nothing ~.O

you have group A and group B. group A, me and adam. Group B, adam and gang.

Group A is clueless about group B.
Group B is clueless about group A.

Adam is in the middle. Adam knows A and B.

i was wondering how on earth did he remain so calm.

Dear God, are you that bored up in heaven? O_O

Come and play taitee with me, Ill let You win. O_O

Update

moving to livejournal for awhile.

friends can ask me for the link. up to me whether i wanna give you or not.

thanks.

Hindrances

Without an atmosphere of clarity, a cg cannot grow.
Without an atmosphere of prayer, a cg cannot grow.
Without an atmosphere of holiness, a cg cannot grow.
Without an atmosphere of faith, a cg cannot grow.
Without an atmosphere of love, a cg cannot grow.
Without an atmosphere of openness, a cg cannot grow.
Without an atmosphere of unity, a cg cannot grow.

So what if ive sown so much time?
So what if ive sown so much effort?
So what if ive grown and mature?
As long as there's one, the cg cannot grow.

Breakthrough starts on the inside.

To see a loved one hurt...
To see a loved one disappointed...
To see people around me fall like dust...

I start to wonder...

Satan why have you come?
Have you come to pick on easy prey?
You sneak in like a thief,
Cloud the minds of many.

So much that few are unaware,
Undiscerning..numbed to self,
Numbed to others..
Thinking its not wrong..
Thinking all is okay..

The moment you mind your own business..
The moment you do your own thing..
You are out of the will.

Those were e words that will stay with me throughout.
Those were e words that taught me a lot.
Words of power.
Words of destiny.

There is one thing more powerful than destiny.
There is one thing more powerful than God.
That is, your will.

Nani??

OMGAWD what am i saying????

Stupid devil, go away!

Issues

Sometimes things happen and people react.

I feel all these while im e one whos irresponsible.

I knew something was amiss..i discerned in my spirit something was happening but i did nothing about it. i did the good thing by giving people the benefit of a doubt..rather than the RIGHT thing.

You think uve let people down? right now i feel ive let GOD down. God gave me discernment and i didnt obey. He gave me e HS and i ignored it.

in order to protect my members from being 'talked' by my cgl..he told me "call them before i call them pls". as a result i got some lashing from someone. like a sacrificial lamb.

why did I even ask..i asked too late. i was slow, i was late.

yea yea yea say all u want. so what if others are wrong..i just feel e burden that if they are wrong, then its because i am wrong somewhere myself. which appeared to be true.

Updates

LiveJournal post. =)

Hmm lol

Seriously, i cant be bothered sharing my problems with people who are simply a brick wall. people who choose to be ignorant, oblivious, naive and simpleton. people who give an attitude the moment people point out their mistakes.

i dont have time to be dwelling on redundant issues. A long lost friend of mine, whom i knew since my childhood days, suddenly called me and he sounded rather urgent and in distress, his family had a crisis and he need someone to turn to..and so..i agreed for him to come over to my place to share with me.

He was asking if he could stay at my place for 2 nights..i dont mind, just have to get my mum/dad to approve thats all. so i told him, why dont u come over and we'll see how it goes.

God is good. just after yesterday's incident..i have an open door..who knows i might be able to bring him for service. He's already ready to receive, i can tell..a hurt is there and i can heal, a need is there and i can meet.

such open doors dont come just like that..i believe its God's favor. hehe. when u walk with God, u dont search high and low for breakthrough, breakthrough comes to you right at your doorstep!

and yesterday's rhema is still so vivid. if i had said no, or if i had ignored his call. which i always do, with numbers i dont know..then what an opportunity i missed to reach out!

I like what God told me last night..

"If ure not willing, I can always find someone else."

and just this morning, He gave me 2 more words to encourage me..

"If you miss the opportunity, it may never come again."

"Instead, God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose those who are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important." - 1 Cor 1:27-28

and thats from the NLT version. haha. i just love NLT. im hoping to find the amplified version of this verse. :p

it all boils down to character. no character, no breakthrough, no character, no responsibility. the man had a talent, he hid it, he was afraid, he looked at what he DIDNT HAVE instead of what he HAD! as a result, even what he had was taken away from him.

if you dont treasure what you have now, sooner or later God is gonna take them all away from you, and he said, "You wicked servant!" i want God to say well done, good and faithful servant.

oh yes, i just got another word..

Prov 15:32 (NLT again :D) "If you reject criticism, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding."

Service with ps phil later. Breakthrough has come even before service started :P

I really want to thank a special friend of mine. whom i emailed. haha once again, i just got to know you like some time ago only..yea..God is re-emphasizing His point lol. thanks for the advice and all..lets grow together in e Lord! :))

Disturbing poem. Haha.

PS: This is about a friend.

Devil is attacking.
My bro is injured as well. And he's unable to move about much too.
I can sit, he cant. and his hurts even more.
i can go service, struggling to move my leg..
he cant even move at all.

"Friends" show their true colors.
People fail the test of time.

People fail the test of circumstance.
I love problems and crisis, it opens my eyes to see people for who they really are.
The flesh is weakened and the spirit is awakened.
And the condition of the heart is exposed.
Are my efforts and sacrifices in vain? all the time.

Yet i continue..because i love God more than I love my friends.
And i cant be bothered. whether they care or not.
I loved unconditionally, never expecting anything in return.
I dont expect you to be perfect.
I SHOULD expect you to have common sense..
but now, i dont even expect my friends to have common sense.

Maybe i shouldnt expect too much.
Im gonna say something that will offend people.
If the devil is lord of ur life, he will use you.
If God is the lord of ur life, He will use you.
Other than John, i dont see anyone being used by God right now.

I dont see anyone who can bring e presence of God into my life.
It has always been e other way round.
Im reminded all the time..the sin of omission is greater than e sin of comission.
You know u ought to do something, but u failed to do it.
That is not paid for on the cross.

Are the words, 'what happened' even too hard for you to say?
You wanna win souls..yet you cant even win friends.
You cant cheer up people who love you..
How are you gonna cheer up people who dont give a damn about you?

im not asking u to say something.
im not asking u to do something.
i just want you to be there.
but no..you cant even stand beside a person.
how can you preach to a person?
how can you demonstrate e love of God and move in signs and wonders?

in front of a person you KNOW? let alone people you dont know.
John is someone i really treasure.
Even though i dont know him personally that much.

How can one be closer to a stranger than a friend?
I didnt share my problems with him, he came to me automatically.
I was surprised, i wasnt expecting him to.
But he did. He's a really good brother.

Even though he's someone whom i got to know online..
Yet somehow i feel closer to him than e ones i actually know.
I know im a bit strong in my words..i have always been.

Sometimes i just feel deprived.
My legs are already a disadvantage.
MIA people are another bunch of disappointment.
How can a strong person like me..be emo?

Well..its exactly the opposite.
i get emo-ed and attacked, because im a threat to satan.
not just me..he didnt even spare my brother.
i shall not disclose what happened to him, it was a painful experience.
something even i myself wouldnt dare to go through.

now do you want to really live for God?
do you dare to say you wanna hang around with a guy who gets attacked by satan all e time?
hahaha! i didnt think you would.

both God and Satan wants me.
i hate to say this, i know it sounds scary..but..what if even my friends satan didnt spare?
i can prophesy people will fly like bees away from me.
haha i admit i loved saying that. just think about it.

that is why you never rise up. because you have no spiritual backbone. your foundations are either wrong or weak..how do you even expect God to build anything on it?

you remembered about the random friend i met online who i dont know how she got onto my list? well..even she's there for me. total stranger. never even met face to face before.

and i got a revelation from her..she said..

"Knowing your bad friends helps you find more good friends".

Haha.."He works in ways you cannot see." How the word has become flesh! Strangers can become friends..friends can become strangers..angels can become devils and devils can become angels..God has a sense of humour..

I laughed when i saw those 2 chatting with me instead..immediately, my problems went away. because i wasnt expecting them to. haha. feel so much better even as i blog haha.

If ure not willing to seize the moment, God can always find someone else.

How did can God use someone like ps kong to impact Asia? because he was e only one who was available, he was e only one who said, here i am, send me.

God doesnt call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Mother Teresa: God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.

such a powerful word. okay, im giggling to myself right now..God is so funny..haha..first all the people i dont know encouraging me, whom i now feel closer to..then all e quotes on facebook. haha. gosh. its everwhere lol.

Thoughts, Revelation, Discipleship

I loved what Shing put on her blog..

"Not all things are taught, but caught."

Life is a bad teacher. It gives you the punishment and the pain, then it teaches you the lesson. But revelation is to know before you experience it. And you get to choose whether you wanna obey or not.

They always say, life is a test. That is true. it is a test of character, a test of commitment, a test of endurance, and many others. Life is the only test which has the answer booklet for you to see.

No one knows the spirit of a man, except the spirit of man. Likewise, no one knows the things of God except the spirit that is from God. People longed for unity, people longed for good and long lasting relationships, people long for love and peace..

but ps ulf made it so clear. You want something good? Then pay the price!

NO SACRIFICE, NO HOLY SPIRIT!

i remembered him saying it that so clearly. during the sunday service. we are saved and we have the HS is because someone paid the price for it. now, if ure gonna take advantage of it and treat it lightly, then one day ull gonna lose it.

let me stress again that salvation is not a one time event. and at anytime, God might call you back when u least expect it. as for the second coming, when He comes..like a thief, what do you think He will catch you doing?

because it said so clearly in Revelation, that we WILL be caught off guard. life is short, life is unpredictable. dont procrastinate. adam said so clearly last night.

the moment ure confident of urself, then God is no longer the Lord of ur life..because deep down u dont need God..even if its just for one second! What does it mean to have a heart of brokenness, to know that you are nothing without God.

you cannot choose self AND God. either u live for urself 100% or u live for God a 100%.

if He is not your Lord of ALL, He is not your Lord at all.

either ure hot or ure cold. there's no room for lukewarmness.

a double minded person is unstable in all his ways.

if you wait for perfect conditions, ull never get anything done!

what are you living for? who do you love?

where your treasure is, there your heart will be.

i know im saying a lot of things..but these are the things my life is built on.."but its too difficult..too stressful, too demanding of you.."

so ure saying your Saviour dying on the cross is something cheap? why dont you do it instead. not just for one person, not just for your enemy..but for the whole world? why dont you bear the 40 stripes on your back. blood on your head..saliva on your face, nails on your hands and feet?

you think living for God is easy? then ure at the wrong place..or at least in the wrong church/celgrp. its true chc is not just for the strong, but for the new as well. BUT..its definitely a place for the serious. its okay if ure mature, its okay if ure immature..but if ure not serious..then sooner or later ull gonna leave. i can guarantee 200%.

during cg yest while we were singing this song, God reminded me.."you asked your Son, to carry this..the heavy cross, our weight of sin..Andrew, will you deny yourself, take up ur cross and follow Me?"

you wanna sow into the BF right? you want to see a place in e marketplace, for e marketplace, to penetrate e marketplace right? well..when that dream is realised, what are u gonna do? with more people being added daily, u think ur responsibility will shrink? give me a break.

if you cant disciple YOURSELF now..how are you gonna do it later? sooner or later..ure gonna be e most senior in the cg, sooner or later..ull be a PCGL. because everyone else is new. and just look at how fast things are moving..

just within one yr, a cg can multiply 1-3 times. u think ure gonna stay a newbie forever? sorry my friend. that aint happening. are u gonna wait till that time before you start growing up? are u gonna wait until ure e only 'strong and mature' one in e cg before u start taking ownership and live like a leader?

then ure gonna get upset, ure gonna stumble, ull grumble and complain and ull leave eventually. just ask urself, will u even still be around when we have our own bldg? what will u be doing?

are u gonna wait till u have wrinkles before u start serving? are u gonna wait till u have children before u start leading by example? or are u gonna start now?

in biblical times, boys become men at 13 and girls become ladies at 11. and yet so many still cling on to their years of mischief and irresponsibility.

'ohh andrew ure so hard to please..ure too fierce and intimidating..' well..u only say that because ure afraid to rise up! ure afraid of instruction and ure intimidated by discipleship. u just wanna live a casual comfortable and 'slack' life.

people are naturally afraid of commitment and sacrifice. but i delight in it because happy are those whose God is the Lord. When Jesus was a teenager, He was about His Father's business. im no longer a teenager. thats why i seize the moment.

u wanna have fun? u wanna do ur own thing? Joyce, my ministry IC once discipled me saying,

DONT JUST DO YOUR OWN THING! we are a TEAM! what you do is gonna affect everyone else, please be considerate and responsible next time k?

the body of Christ is a team. stop being selfish and start growing up. dont wait for ur life to get into trouble before u start acting!

so many things in e world are calling u..hunks, babes, clothes, food, accesories, games, what not. the world is SCREAMING at you. what are you going to do? im not saying that those are bad. dont get me wrong..they only become the devil's instruments the moment u have NO CHOICE, the moment you CANT HELP IT.

freedom is not the liberty to do what you want.
freedom is the liberty to say no to what you dont want.

Chooose today whom you will follow.

Random (long post)

Okay, my mood has totally been spoiled by some snacks vending machine that jammed my packet of chips at the top and wasted my 70 cents. i was hungry and in pain cus i walked quite a distance.

And suddenly i thought of things to talk about. Lets talk about gossip and acountability.

Well..yesterday someone flew aeroplane and i ended up printing song sheets. i mean..its okay and i dont mind printing song sheets. there's a difference between late, not coming, and never intended to come at all.

i was in e room with adam and mac during guitar practice when the msg came in 5-10minutes before cg started. im not saying i hate the person whatsoever, i love the person, but i dont approve of e person's character, attitude and lifestyle.

esp when u do something you like at the expense of others. i mean, when u walk with God..you will know things..and sometimes, i may not see it, i may not be there..but deep down inside, my spirit is plugged into God.

i mean, its pretty obvious to differentiate a keen latecomer, and an unkeen latecomer. its always okay to do something you like..but at what expense? at what compromise? i know there are things going on and honestly, i cant be bothered with what. dont worry, im not gonna ask God reveal to me..of course i can..but im not gonna do it because i trust people to be mature. its between you and God.

i really could feel it when adam received e last minute thing. he was shocked and during the meeting when something happened and we were distracted..i could feel e whole atmosphere change.

now, im not trying to show off or what, but as a guitarist, when atmosphere drops or changes, i can feel it. i can feel it when people are tired. i can feel it when people are unwilling, i can feel it when people are half-hearted, and not serious.

'ohhhhhh..andrew ure being too sensitive...ure being tooo emotional..'. no. im just being obedient. if not i wouldnt be given the responsibility to lead the praise n worship. its a heavy responsibility, and i know God will empower me to do it, but because He did..thats why ive grown and thats why sometimes i talk to people, i know whats going on.

im not trying to freak you out or anything..isnt that what the life of a believer is all about? its been scientifically proven. when one sense of the body is inactive, lets say..u close ur eyes..its scientifically proven that ur other senses become 'aware' and increase in sensitivity to make up for that lost sense.

just because im quiet and i dont speak much..it doesnt mean my other senses are 'stagnant'. in actual fact, my other senses are more intuned. God proves it, even science proves it. they always say..the more chatty u are..the harder it is to be quiet. because ure just not wired that way. or ure not in a condition where ure able to switch and adapt.

just to sidetrack abit..everything that happens in my life, i am accountable to adam and to people around me who im close to. you think i have nothing better to do than to send smses like "ahhh i just fell down.." to adam?

come on..first of all..if u think im doing that to attract attention, you really need a mental checkup. if u think im gay or 'obsessed' with u..then u really need to see the psychiatrist. which i hope nobody thinks that way.

just look at ps kong, he is my role model..he even shared his temptations and struggles openly with us. you are accountable because you love a person. you are accountable because you trust a person, you are accountable because you have initiative and responsibility!

if theres anything going on..big or small..at least let adam know. most of e time i share with adam. whenever im upset over something, i get a free and convenient time to talk it out with him. as a cgl, i know there is a responsibility over the celgrp, thats why i take e initiative to make his life easier..dont keep him in the dark. being a leader is hard, but he's willing to do it for us.

there was even one time, i cried to him. 'dun wan la..paiseh..' if ure gonna paiseh here and paiseh there, then ure not going to go anywhere! if u care so much of your own face, your own life, your own interests, then ure no different from anyone and everyone else.

outwardly u can be someone but inwardly ure another person.

even for myself, im yearning for the day when i can freely openly share with u guys the struggles i go through, the temptations i face and the difficulties in my circumstances more and more.

everything ive posted is not something that i myself dont go through, i do, and i change and i overcome. thats why im able to share things like that because i myself went through them.

lets talk about gossiping, talking behind peoples backs. u know what im talking abt. i know when someone gossips, they have that 'aura' all over them. when i first got saved, i told God. God I wanna say the things u say, i wanna feel the things u feel, i wanna see e things u see.

God doesnt see u as a person, He sees u as a spirit. we are all spirits inside a body. and i ask God to give me the anointing and the power to see people as who they really are. when i see adam, i see the spirit of adam, when i see timothy, i see the spirit of timothy. the attitude, the genuine character and the heart of a person.

also thats partly the reason why i can forgive and forget so easily, how i can increase my capacity for people who are different. because i see through them and i see a need, i see a hurt and i reach out..not to the shell on the outside, but to the spirit on the inside.

back to gossiping, you wanna have a poisonous tongue? then go ahead. you wanna commit more murders? go ahead. luckily im not a person who bears grudges. thats why i remain so calm and cool. God gave me the gift to let go easily. and i dont take it for granted.

i learnt in AFV or GOTHS, God cant entrust you with something if He knows u dont have the character to back it up. one more random thing, i dont understand people. they say they love God, but they dont love His house, they dont like His family. well..ure being a hypocrite.

if ure not faithful in the little, He will never entrust you with much.

Celgrp, Others

Okay, some of u might be wondering what song is this..haha. Its Gotta Run by Michael Angelo Batio. my inspiration. and the world's fastest guitarist. you can check out his videos on youtube at:

http://www.youtube.com/MACEMusicInc

and

http://www.youtube.com/dmarks1

and his site is at:

http://www.angelo.com

he invented the double guitar, the quad guitar and his stage signature move, the over-under technique. he can play both hands synchronically, criss-crossed, upside down, straight inverted and upside-down inverted.

he's left handed, learned a right handed guitar, started playing piano at a very young age, then learned guitar then surpassed his guitar teacher, etc. check out more at his site and wikipedia haha. he has a bachelor in music theory and he compose his own songs as a solo instrumentalist. so this guy knows what he's doing! haha.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Angelo_Batio - enough said. hahaha.

and i just heard MAB traded his Ritz Rocket Guitar to some guy for the dean double prototype. OMG. *Jealous..29 fret rocket..LOL.

anyway, back to cg..it was good. even tho i was 'on the sidelines' lol. but yea..the word was strong. welcome back thad.

i keep on thinking today was saturday, even my mum mistook today for sat. O_O. anyway, i had a strange dream the day before, i dreamed of pam and she was asking me for cg fund..i have no idea why..but its gonna happen anyway..haha..so i can consider it a deja vu LOL.

so basically nth much happened..stella came over in e afternoon so use net..then her sister came later to pick her up. had a test which i thank God for. yea u know my testimony haha. blablabla..

so thats abt it..i really hope i can wear jeans comfortably again tmr for service :S i dun wanna go there in shorts x_x. sorry Jo i couldnt make it for ur performance today..because of my stupid 'double' injury :S lol.

Leadership Files - Winning

Quote - ' All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us.... they can't get away this time.' - Chesty Puller (USMC, when surrounded by 8 enemy divisions during the Korean War.)

The leader is a winner.

They own a winning attitude.

They look like they're winning even when they're not.

They are a winning spirit.

Joseph looks like a winner even in chains, sold as a slave.

He still looks like a winner in prison.

He stands tall, walks straight, clear purpose in his eyes.

He laughs at difficulties and is unmoved by challenge.

He becomes the Prime Minister of Egypt.

We win from the inside out, not the outside in.

Video 15, Random

For those who missed video 15 here it is:



Okay, if ure wondering, no i didnt speed my video up..although it looked identical, its not perfect haha. Im lightyears away from MAB so u can forget about it hahaha. How many times did i rehearse this video? 10 plus :S

Finally started on the website for my project. Done the basic controls, gonna start on the homepage and registration page soon. Chiong ah!

My left knee is more or less dry now. My right is still a bit wet :x Hmm, did i blog this in my previous post? Hmm, i dont know too. haha.

I cant stop staring at the photo i posted earlier on..i cant believe myself. Please tell me thats not even a human face! haha! gosh. and yea..God is amazing, in e photo, me and 2 other peeps are now celgrp members. and another one is a cgl. how awesome can it get huh?

Indeed, God place people in our lives for a reason!

Robb Thomson said, If you wanna see how your future will be like, Just look at those you call 'friends'.

You dont have to be an idiot or a loser, just hang around one and you'll be one! Hang around people of destiny! Hang around people who are going somewhere, doing something!

Okay, im getting a leeeeeeetle beet disturbed and irritated, the dog next door is barking on and off. and the elder son is making some weird 'UMMPH!' and 'WHUUUIII!" noises. oh gosh..i wonder what he and the dog is doing. haha..okay im mean..:p

but seriously..its very irritating O_O

Picture, Update

Staying at home today sucks. I feel so disappointed. I missed another lecture. Because of my leg. Oh gosh, i dont mind if my attendance drops, but what if i cant catch up? :S I already missed 2 out of 3 lectures on Topic 3. Oh crap x_x

Its healing better now..The left leg is almost painless now. The right leg still stings, and 'wet'. Yes..wet with yellowish red liquid which is a mixture of pus and blood. Okay, guess ill stop describing just in case someone's appetite gets spoiled lol.

I found this picture on facebook and Im gonna put it up here. Its probably the most ugliest human being ull ever see. This was taken in Pri 6 or 5 I believe. And yes..uve seen my pri3 photo on friendster, i get rounder, fatter and more uglier as the years go by. Until sec 4 that is.


Betcha cant find me :O lol. Ya, when i first saw it i couldnt find myself too. I mistook it for a huge blank spot! ~.O

Yea, yea yea..laugh all you want. And whenever u see me, start acting as if ure fat and round and cant balance urself while walking. See what ill do to you..hahaha!

6th post! haha

okay, ive been blogging a LOT lately. must be immense boredom haha. video 15 is up, just click on my link to e right.

thanks to all my dearies for ur msges. it really meant a lot to me. my knee's better now. im kinda gotten used to e pain, im not sure now if thats good or bad. haha.

almost manifested in e shower e moment i turned on e tap. i was wary at first..hoping not to touch the wound. then i had to rinse my hair and wash away the shampoo..so i was like: CHIONG AH! I placed e shower above my head..and i almost screamed like a GUNIANG!

i dont know how to sleep :S the pain..gosh. and i have lesson at 9am, i dun wanna miss it too. :( ahh..lol..thank God for quiet time.

Just when things couldnt get any worse

Okay, i was late for NAPFA. the moment i reached i went straight to the situps station, did 40+ situps and shuttle run. without stretching or warmup. u might say, am i crazy or what? well..everyone else had started 10-15minutes before me.

and they're already all gathered in groups. and there i am. even in NAPFA. im alone. and i was e only one..alone. I was aloneley-alone. yea u have desperately desperate, happily happy, and now i created aloneley alone. O_O

it was depressing. i didnt care, i just wanted to finish every station as fast as i could and go home. i didnt want to stay there and watch everybody having fun, laughing and cheering each other on :(

and during the shuttle run, i kinda passed out for a second and i flew forward and landed flat. BOTH my knees are now exposed and its 3/4 the size of a PSP UMD. i guess the excruciating pain woke me up.

if that isnt bad enough..u know how high and steep the steps are along the running track! i have to like bend BOTH knees like 90 degrees in order to get to the top to receive first aid. and after i fell, the poor guy was like asking me, if i was alright, do i need a break. and u know what i said?

i said its okay, i can go on. with both knees injured, in excruciating pain, i said i could go on. and i pushed myself a little further..and ran the shuttle run, not once..but twice. sprinting, stopping, bending, sprinting, stopping, bending...

when i had completed it..i was feeling faint and giddy and my vision was disappearing. i dont deep down i felt lonely at that point in time..i suddenly remembered those times, when i would fall down spiritually, and i would always pick myself up..

and despite everything, i would be there to encourage the people i love even though i needed encouragement myself. and i began to remember many things..those times i fell, i fell alone..no one was there to pick me up..and now there i was..no longer in e spiritual, no longer in e emotional, but in e physical..

i had fallen..and once again. i picked myself up, no one was there, when i fell. the guy immediately accompanied me to the first aid station and i was already passing out just walking up the high, steep steps. he was really nice. he helped me register my napfa even though i was late and he helped me with my situps..

i sat at the top..feeling weak and watching others doing their stations and getting all happy and cosy with their friends..hugs, pats and cheers..and i had none of those. in my most painful moments at that time, i was alone..except for the paramedic that was really nice.

and so..he attended to me. this was the worst part. he sprayed some salt solution of some kind or iodine or whatever u called it. i tell you..it was the most painful thing u can experience! i almost screamed..and its not just one knee, but TWO!

i felt as if my skin and flesh was being skinned alive!!! twice. i could imagine how our Saviour endured 40 on his back and those thorns that pierced his head. at that moment, i felt so close so Him. i felt His heartpain, i felt a fraction of His pain..even though how small it was!

after that..waited at atrium for my mum and pick me. cus i couldnt move my legs anymore. doing 2.4 and standing broad jump would be suicide. as such, they asked me to postpone my napfa. till when i dont know. then again..i still have to wait for my knees to heal..

im officially lame. ill end with 2 pics..if ure eating or about to..please dont view..thanks.




As you can see..my right is worse..its still oozing even right now. Its scary to know if theres blood clot, then there would be infection and the need for amputation, in my case..both legs :S oh crap..i think i better stop. =/

Short sudden post

Just now I tried cooking 4 things at once and i realised it doesnt work..well, it did. haha. i was cooking noodles, frying egg, grilling sausage and heating up the chicken all at once. i must be desperately hungry to do that..which i am. haha.

okay la..nothing much happened except flying eggshells, uneven colored egg and some sauce on the kitchen table..lol. which i eventually cleaned up. haha.

napfa in 3hrs time! ahhhh! lol. i think ill book an appointment @ ns.sg at the stadium to redo my napfa before i go in lols. i dont know why..i just got 'hooked' to Symphony 924 haha.

Still awake :O Random thoughts, Lameing :P

Gosh, im still awake. i dont know why i cant seem to sleep. maybe its because i just realised moments ago that tomorrow..later i mean..is my NAPFA test! OMG. GG. i think im screwed lol.

somehow i feel like highlighting my hair. :s mebbe i can get my mum to sponsor 10 bucks go to those cheapo salons or at most DIY. lol.

i cant believe i just blogged 3 times in one night. haha. well, actually i can believe it. lol. cus its..normal? :S the past few days i have an interesting friend in my msn, i dunno how i added her or how she added me.

so one day, we starting chatting, lameing and crapping as if we knew each other like 10 years like dat. O.O lol..so weird. its not just her, but i have so many friends, whom we started out as random strangers..i think its really God.

i mean..a person like me..making friends so easily..and i click so well with strangers..i think its really e favor of God upon my life. indeed, when He is high and lifted up in your life, He will draw all men. =))

i mean, look at e past few months..i dont add people, its always people who add me. from where? i dont know. how? i have no idea too. well, project resumes. and i gotta start on e actual programming of e webpage. ahh! stress.

oh yea..today during service, jack neo, his wife and his daughter were sitting across the aisle from where i was sitting. directly next to me, but 1-2 rows front. when you see couples coming to God with their kids..its just such a moving moment.

and they always look so young! lol. i mean..really..he's blessed to have a beautiful wife and kids. and he won the golden horse award..3 i think just recently or something..cant rem, ps kong announced something.

then during the 'mini concert', Carola was walking and singing along e aisles as usual..when she suddenly climbed on top of the chair in front of me, stood up and sang..

i was like..WHOA HOLY MOLY she's right in front of me! i tell u..when she sang..e presence of God just sent shivers down my entire being! gosh..what a presence, what an anointing..i want it. when it comes to the spiritual things, i always want everything haha..i want discernment..MORE actually, i want to speak more into people lives, etc..

of course, like ps ulf said, there's always a sacrifice. and the secrets and the charisma gifts are for those who really seek after it. people who are hungry for it. i mean, ive given a word so many times during cg already, God speaks a rhema into people's lives through me, during praise n worship i bring down the presence of God..etc.

all these things i would have never dreamt of. are there times i feel i dont deserve it? all the time. i dont have much. im not as rich, im not as goodlooking, or smart or talented..yet..God is so close to me, and to me..thats e greatest thing in the world. to know that the God of the universe, is my friend.

what a privilege, yet what a responsibility!

im a really simple person, i smile over anything and everything..and i laugh at the slightest thing. come to think of it, im always happy. there are times i would be down and discouraged..but they never last more than 1-2hrs. =) and i wouldnt be where i am today, if not for the people God has placed in my life..and if not for God Himself.

im not a gift-gift person..lol..people close to me will know my love language is quality time and word of affirmation. physical touch and acts of service are the least prioritised, they are just bonuses for me. like Jesus, i didnt not come to be served but to serve..and i wanna give of my life to God and to the people around me.

im so bored. i cant sleep. okay, i will try to sleep..and hopefully everything goes well tmr. and its back to the 'isolation chamber' :S i dread going back to that room lol..its so cold and lonely and depressing with nothing but computer codes in front of you. =/

but at least i can pray in secret and have chats with God. i mean, i just received a revelation just seconds ago while i was typing this. God is everywhere, He never leaves you nor forsakes you right? So..why not break the ice? Start a conversation and keep the passion and the love going?

Me and God, to me, are couples. and if we just accompany each other and not say anything to one another, wouldnt it be boring? and if all the time, God is making e first move, God is e one speaking to me and not e other way round..wouldnt it be dry and boring? Try something different..as for me, i wanna have a romantic experience with God.

okay, im always shy, but i really want something different, i wanna go to e next level of my relationship with God. there are times i dont have to be so formal with God..ive experienced God as me healer, saviour, lord, deliverer, provider, friend, etc..but i wanna experience God as my Lover <3

haha. try something different..stir up e romance between u and God :PP everytime i tell people im shy and introverted..they look at me with that lifted-brow look as if they just saw an alien. haha mebbe cus they watch my videos too much and u really think thats who i am on screen and in real life..haha..

i do it for entertainment and pure fun, i do those videos to get rid of my boredom and i learn to laugh at myself. dont have to be so stressed with life. sometimes u should learn to laugh at urself and appreciate urself for who u really are :)

i mean..in real life i dont go round slapping my own face or knocking my own head..haha..even though i know of some who do..hahaha..i shall not say who LOL! okay, i just went high..now its gonna be even harder for me to sleep :S haha..oops.

okay, im serious now..time to hit the bed..haha. dont worry, u wont see me buying a new bed tomorrow m_m ha. okay lame..hitme in my face if u must..but do it gently! hahahahaha!!!