Still awake :O Random thoughts, Lameing :P

Gosh, im still awake. i dont know why i cant seem to sleep. maybe its because i just realised moments ago that tomorrow..later i mean..is my NAPFA test! OMG. GG. i think im screwed lol.

somehow i feel like highlighting my hair. :s mebbe i can get my mum to sponsor 10 bucks go to those cheapo salons or at most DIY. lol.

i cant believe i just blogged 3 times in one night. haha. well, actually i can believe it. lol. cus its..normal? :S the past few days i have an interesting friend in my msn, i dunno how i added her or how she added me.

so one day, we starting chatting, lameing and crapping as if we knew each other like 10 years like dat. O.O lol..so weird. its not just her, but i have so many friends, whom we started out as random strangers..i think its really God.

i mean..a person like me..making friends so easily..and i click so well with strangers..i think its really e favor of God upon my life. indeed, when He is high and lifted up in your life, He will draw all men. =))

i mean, look at e past few months..i dont add people, its always people who add me. from where? i dont know. how? i have no idea too. well, project resumes. and i gotta start on e actual programming of e webpage. ahh! stress.

oh yea..today during service, jack neo, his wife and his daughter were sitting across the aisle from where i was sitting. directly next to me, but 1-2 rows front. when you see couples coming to God with their kids..its just such a moving moment.

and they always look so young! lol. i mean..really..he's blessed to have a beautiful wife and kids. and he won the golden horse award..3 i think just recently or something..cant rem, ps kong announced something.

then during the 'mini concert', Carola was walking and singing along e aisles as usual..when she suddenly climbed on top of the chair in front of me, stood up and sang..

i was like..WHOA HOLY MOLY she's right in front of me! i tell u..when she sang..e presence of God just sent shivers down my entire being! gosh..what a presence, what an anointing..i want it. when it comes to the spiritual things, i always want everything haha..i want discernment..MORE actually, i want to speak more into people lives, etc..

of course, like ps ulf said, there's always a sacrifice. and the secrets and the charisma gifts are for those who really seek after it. people who are hungry for it. i mean, ive given a word so many times during cg already, God speaks a rhema into people's lives through me, during praise n worship i bring down the presence of God..etc.

all these things i would have never dreamt of. are there times i feel i dont deserve it? all the time. i dont have much. im not as rich, im not as goodlooking, or smart or talented..yet..God is so close to me, and to me..thats e greatest thing in the world. to know that the God of the universe, is my friend.

what a privilege, yet what a responsibility!

im a really simple person, i smile over anything and everything..and i laugh at the slightest thing. come to think of it, im always happy. there are times i would be down and discouraged..but they never last more than 1-2hrs. =) and i wouldnt be where i am today, if not for the people God has placed in my life..and if not for God Himself.

im not a gift-gift person..lol..people close to me will know my love language is quality time and word of affirmation. physical touch and acts of service are the least prioritised, they are just bonuses for me. like Jesus, i didnt not come to be served but to serve..and i wanna give of my life to God and to the people around me.

im so bored. i cant sleep. okay, i will try to sleep..and hopefully everything goes well tmr. and its back to the 'isolation chamber' :S i dread going back to that room lol..its so cold and lonely and depressing with nothing but computer codes in front of you. =/

but at least i can pray in secret and have chats with God. i mean, i just received a revelation just seconds ago while i was typing this. God is everywhere, He never leaves you nor forsakes you right? So..why not break the ice? Start a conversation and keep the passion and the love going?

Me and God, to me, are couples. and if we just accompany each other and not say anything to one another, wouldnt it be boring? and if all the time, God is making e first move, God is e one speaking to me and not e other way round..wouldnt it be dry and boring? Try something different..as for me, i wanna have a romantic experience with God.

okay, im always shy, but i really want something different, i wanna go to e next level of my relationship with God. there are times i dont have to be so formal with God..ive experienced God as me healer, saviour, lord, deliverer, provider, friend, etc..but i wanna experience God as my Lover <3

haha. try something different..stir up e romance between u and God :PP everytime i tell people im shy and introverted..they look at me with that lifted-brow look as if they just saw an alien. haha mebbe cus they watch my videos too much and u really think thats who i am on screen and in real life..haha..

i do it for entertainment and pure fun, i do those videos to get rid of my boredom and i learn to laugh at myself. dont have to be so stressed with life. sometimes u should learn to laugh at urself and appreciate urself for who u really are :)

i mean..in real life i dont go round slapping my own face or knocking my own head..haha..even though i know of some who do..hahaha..i shall not say who LOL! okay, i just went high..now its gonna be even harder for me to sleep :S haha..oops.

okay, im serious now..time to hit the bed..haha. dont worry, u wont see me buying a new bed tomorrow m_m ha. okay lame..hitme in my face if u must..but do it gently! hahahahaha!!!