Exams

first of all..to the anonymous who commented on my blog, thanks! :) Haha it took me like 2 to 3 hours to do the skin from scratch.

i didnt receive the comment in my blog though..but through email via blogger.com.

and to those who gave me early lunar new year testimonials on my friendster..thanks..lol even though i kinda forgotten tt CNY is coming..T_T

exams are round the corner. most of my lessons have stopped for now..guess its time to revise. i have one particular module..i have no idea whether im debarred or not. how fascinatin huh. and u know what's the best thing..the lecture tutor and my tutorial tutor is different! so..debarre or not i also not sure..im sure they also not sure..

but it seems as if its too late for me now.

im literaly rotting at home now. staring at notes that make me sleep, going in and out of ROSE, cus im like bored of playing games. well..im actually bored in everything and nothing really interests me now..

in other words..im hobby-less.

ps ulf this weekend..yea im looking forward to it. for those who keep on spamming my msn and i dont reply..its because im either out, afk or asleep. yes there are days i leave my laptop on overnight. so dont go, "are you there?? hello??? *NUDGE".

ill probably block you for offensive content :x

Stop the friggin projects for crying out loud!

Entry Blocked by User

Peachbabydrew

OH MY GAWWWWDD!

Yea..exactly what happened man!!!!!

When i received the file...i was like...HOLY MOMMA!

I almost put on my MSN and my friendster. But anyways. I decided not to..hahaha. i decided that this is the only place ill put tt pic. O.O Soooooo not meeee...YOU!!! you know who i am talking to!!!! yeah you!!! ahhhhhh...LOL!

Anyway..ive completed Cultural Mandate 1, 2, 3, notes and AR Bernard 1 and 2. Without further a do, here are the links:

Cultural Mandate Notes

AR Bernard Notes

If the link doesnt work on click, rclick, save as. Thanks.

boooored

well..im bored..just for today.

one more assignment to submit by tuesday. A.R. Bernard, as always, is always inspiring, but most importantly, life transforming. im in an attempt to finish up my Cultural Mandate notes part 1, 2, 3, and AR Bernard notes part 1, 2. ill prob upload soon..well, its sunday afternoon..its so sleepy and weird to be at home.

haha i still miss those days of excitement and fellowship back then in service 5, JW :S. those times where we would spend quality time after service..basically for e whole day, whole afternoon, dinner, then in e evening.

searched my entire box of games to find one to play. well, its a miracle..i found no game that interests me :x ahhh!

strange encounter

ok..this week's been a bit busy lately.

ill start with an encounter..i wouldnt exactly call it strange.

i was in class having tutorial and as usual, while we were doing out tutorials, our tutor would tell us stories..particularly on that day, was one of his NS experiences haha..how cool.

thats not e point..after a moment he came up to me, patted me on e shoulder and said, 'andrew, commando eh?', with a smile. i didnt know how to reply so i just smiled. then shortly after, my fren sitting next to me, told me: eh andrew, u know u look like one of my friend in NS le..

i tot..whoa..okay..then he showed me the picture. to my horror of horrors, yeah it does look like me..!!! well, when im darker and more built..hahaha..thats not e point either. sry, its my 'vain-stage' now..esp b4 NS..grr...still got year 4...

anyway, he told..'and u know what he does in the army?" i said, 'what..?"

then u know what his reply was? "oh, hes a commando le.."

im like..ZOMG, talk abt common grace. "NO WAY!" im like..cmon, i dont need a double confirmation man..^.O

oh well, prayer meeting was great. what a gd way to start e year. cg was good too, despite the rush. and one more assignment to go..hope i dont fall sick again :x thats e problem with giving you shitloads of assignments before exams..wth..

if i can recall, ive been doing assignments AT LEAST one in 2 weeks..FOR ONE MODULE...SINCE...august 2006. worse case scenario is like now..4 assignments in a week, 4 modules, dateline: one week!

move on? how sia. im stuck with e same old modules, same old people (not tt they're boring), same old tutors..e only thing tts changed is the last 4 numbers on the digital clock on my desktop! ^.O

how do you move on, without being able to move? how do you manage time that is not there? ^.O sry for me ranting, i need to let the stress out before i become retarded..oh wait, i thought im already half way there..? ^.O

yes im tarded.

what is tarded?

its half retarded...

u have to be tarded before you can be retarded..right?

sorry if ure WOLS...

feeling cold? awwww...

here's an ice blanket for you...hope to keep u warm...

oh no..ure getting colder?

^.O

Cant think of title.

hmm ministry went well yesterday. Priya needed to attended service so i exchanged place with her..i did external speakers yesterday.

oh and service was great. i particularly liked the new earth thing. how many people think we are gonna spend eternity on heaven floating around as spirits. but e truth is we will have our resurrected bodies and the new earth. eternity is the continuation of Gen 1, just that now theres no more sin problem.

so you think what you study now, your job now, is useless in eternity? :o neways, had fellowship and dinner at bedok..somewhere lol, cant rem e place name :x and thanks to a few people, im well-known as the guy who pee-ed under the table ^.O

ill compile part1, part2 and part3 notes soon. its been long since i did notes. :x well, God is good. as i gave my time..as a seed, to serve Him, yesterday i just received news that my assignment deadline have been extended by 3 days. =)

haha one man can make a difference...because of one man's sacrifice...the entire cohort doing my module had their assignment deadline pushed..lol. yea, i dont believe in coincidences, but a God-incident.

some may say, nah, its just coincidence, im just lucky. well, everytime i pray and give to God coincidences and luck happens? ^.O

Toiletbowl? Sinked?

ok..start with cg..it was great. feels great to be back. lol. yea..had a gd time with cg after that.

i couldve gotten an 'A', or even a distinction. for my IS..but bcos of my attendance i could only afford a D, says my tutor. what a waste huh.

gotta rush this post..have to leave for svc soon.

basically when i woke up this morning, my bro told me he had bad news. that my phone drowned. in the toilet..

dang, i must have left it there after my shower last night..and someone prob called or smsed and it vibrated its way either into the sink or the toiletbowl =/

using a replacement now..my bro's old phone.

lost all contacts..my SIM card was unfortunately erased in the drowning process..sucks huh. neways, i need all ur contacts again. :S

oh wells..at least im using a better phone now..lol. God is good. =)

Orly?

assignments, assignments, assignments...

everyday assignment, every week assignment, every month assignment, every year assignment, whole life assignment. its worse than eating plain rice with soya sauce everyday!

and not just one..EVERY MODULE got assignment. even the tutors and lecturers have the word 'assignment' written all over their foreheads. the next time i see a tutor/lecturer stepping into e classroom, ill go: oh look..the assignment is here! :x

so irritating..everyday ask us to do something..we your slaves isit? do we get paid? nooooooo. do we get break? WHAT BREAK!?! talk about labour discrimination..how bout student discrimination? why when a labourer or a worker feels he's been treated badly, he can file a complain and bring the case to court or demand payment? what about us students??

BRING TO COURT!!!! DEMAND PAYMENT!!! ^.O

Delirious?

it was awesome. not only do they have the substance, they have e power and e anointing to pull down e presence of God. and honestly, i encountered God on that day.

the message is great too. im thinking of adding a files section to my blog, where ill upload series sermons like A.R Bernard's notes, and the new cultural mandate notes part1, 2 and next wk..part3. it will be more of a compilation..in a zip format.

for the past 6 days..something's up with my right eye. i dunno if its too tired or what, its just the right eye..everyday w/o fail, for 6 days, it would, itch then sore, but not red, feels as if its popping itself out..its uncomfortable.

must be bcos ive not slept for more than 4hrs per day since 2 wks ago. i dunno wads gonna happen next. theres one module i dunno whether to miss anot. unfortunately i already did 15 min ago. =/ i was told if i missed one more ill be debarred and last wk i missed it. so i dunno whether im debarred yet anot. if im debarred, then its best i dun dwell on it and move on to foxus on my other subjects..but e prob is, i dun even know if im DB or not. why am i repeating myself? o.O

u wont know what its like to fail someone, what its like to not being able to accomplish what u intended or purposed, its alright to fail as long as u dun give up, unfortunately not everyone believes that..there are many ppl right now that i cant face..and one of e reasons im not attending certain classes is bcos of that.

one more thing..i cant stand ppl who come up to me and...

'oh last year already..quickly graduate', 'oh last year already, better prepare for NS', 'oh last year already, not bad ah..'

FFS!!! ITS NOT MY LAST YEAR!!!

i think i can start forgetting those who've been with me since pri sch. i can say goodbye to them. when im finally out of NS. they're prob earning big bucks and having a family already.

good bye all.

Fading

i dunno what might happen tomorrow. all i can do is to treasure the now.

i was trying to find my photos of my younger days..those days of energy, vigor, innocence, joy, laughter, great friends, those days when even though i didnt have much, id always made it through. those days when im excited about school, excited about friends, about God..those days where it seemed nothing was impossible..those days which seemed as if id rather hang on to time..

i remember chatting with a friend online..he's nt frm church, but he said one thing that impacted me greatly, even though he wasnt a believer (at tt time he also faced failures in his modules), he said: dont worry, no matter what happens i believe god will be there for us all the way...

2 modules have gone by..just like that..make that 3 in a week..luckily 2 were IS, and 1 core module. i appreciate the people around me. and im thankful for them. somehow i feel, this is my battle, i dont want to get others involved..like a warrior, ull never know when ure gonna die.

my problems, i will deal with it myself. i dont wish for anyone to interfere. ive made a mess and im gonna clean it up myself, even if it means removing the problem himself. just now i lay on my head, my pillow was wet and thoughts of suicide surrounded me..

all i thought of was how many modules ive failed in 3 yrs, how many friends who have let me down and the times i were alone. i fought with suicide for 2-3 hours, in my room, in my head. i ignored all calls, i refuse to read all SMSes.

it was when i suddenly remembered, its only at my weakest that God is e strongest. i knew tt no matter what happened God is working behind the scenes, setting me up for something. but i dont know what. at tt point..i fell into a deep sleep. i was tired, even though i woke up like 2-3 hours earlier. when i woke up, everything seemed as if nothing happened, but deep down i know the reality of my situation..

im not being emo, im just being real. how many people out there, lose friends, break one relationship after another, have people disappointed them and ppl who were offended? its all because all the people around them are merely wearing a mask. they never express what they feel, they try to be someone they're not, they try to do things they're not meant to do!!!

yes im talking to you!!!

how i know who's reading this? well, i just know. no, i dont use a IP tracer. :x

im looking for my old photos..anyone have them pls send to me. :S

DEAD

i didnt go for my 1 of 2 IS presentations. T_T theres one more in 2 hrs time..e one i totally forgot about. not that i forgotten abt it, i thought it was next week when its actually today. :S

i dunno what to do, i cant say the same for IMGT, i dont see e point in going after all i think im debarred anyway. i didnt receive any letters or warnings so i presume e teacher doesnt bother anyway.

i think im gonna go into a trauma soon..

the thought of failing 2 IS modules and repeating 2 more additional modules plus my final year project..i cant handle it..i could break down any moment now. pls note that im not answering calls not because i dont want to..its just the amount of stress i am at..that makes me feel like confining myself and not facing anyone anymore.

im not angry at anyone, not even myself, its just that amount of things that are going through my head makes it hard to even move myself..T_T

the phone is ringing..:S

Screwed

im gonna blow my WISP presentation. and my events comm presentation, for 2 full weeks i thought it was next week, until i realised something wrong today..my presentation is TODAY! OMG! in a few hours time..how how how??? ARRGH!!!! IM GETTING OLD MAN!!! ive become more blur, more stoned, i dunno how to express what im goin thru now =/

dunno wad else to blog..its 5am and my mind is blank..

Blogged

went to Park Mall Fish n Co just now with E406 and a few E420s to sort have have our last meal before Sharon flies off. Yep, we will all miss her, her smiley and bubbly persona never fails to brighten up the smiles on our faces :))

i cant rem e last time i ate alot..LOL! *exercise!!! T_T speaking of which, i was supposed to take my NAPFA test this wk. but i didnt go..=/ expected right? :S you can blame me and scold me all you want, you can look down on me all you want, anyway since im heading for year4, might as well start training and aim for silver next yr right?

its ok, some of u wont understand what it means to be going into fourth year. doing the same stuff for like eternity. T_T and this wk, i woke up late again, missing my IMGT lecture. my lecturer is quiet these few days..received to warnings or calls..i think ive been debarred. i dont have to wait for e letter.

at most retake more modules next yr only. :X you will never understand what it means to do something u hate for 3 years. u wont understand what it means to...i dont wanna continue. no one will understand, but im glad God understands. and i know as long as ive not quitted, ive not failed.

my eyes have been itching and aching and sore-ing for e past few days. i dunno how long more i can last, ill prob die before my time or something..cant take it anymore. talked to LP on e phone yesterday..then all of a sudden she mentioned a new course, Digital Graphics Animation and Audio-Visual Effects Animation..im like...I WANNA CHANGE COURSE! T_T

but too bad its already e 3rd year. mr lim told me, dont care whether u like or hate e module, just finish it up already. and he said it with such motivation and encouragement, it pushed me forward a little and im thankful to God for placing Mr Lim in my life as my mentor.

i guess ive not shown a soft side of me for a long time, ive decided..

if im not strong, hard and cold, im not gonna try to be tough and cold. ill just be myself and let all of u hurt me..yes i will. say all u want, give me all ur attitude all u want, im just gonna look at u as if im watching a comedy show because the only clown is you!

Delirious is coming this weekend and to me, they are the best CCM. not only do they have the substance, they have e anointing and they pull down e presence of God all the time. for those who intend to come just for Delirious, machiam concert..forget it, u guys can go home and eat ur veggies and drink ur milk!

CHC is a no-nonsense church. if u think its easy to be a member think again. personally i dont like hanging around with no discipline, no commitment, blablabla people. but ive enjoyed my journey always e moment i stepped in. like what ps kong said, we are not interested in members, we are interested in disciples!

i liked what ps kong once said, If Jesus is not your Lord of all, He is not your Lord at all!

if not then call Him Lord for what? you what is Lord anot? english fail ah? aiyo so sad...if ure feeling offended. well, ive got nothing to say. The truth hurts, if it doesnt hurt then its not e truth. everything in the gospel is common sense, it is what it is. some people just think too much.

friday got presentation for WISP, arrgh.
next friday presentation for Events, double-arrgh!!!
Screw IS..arrgh! im gonna grow beard soon m_m

2007? Or still 2005?

service was great. and the message was deep but powerful..haa.

i dunno..i still feel as if its 2005. maybe im just getting old..a bit too fast. i no longer have the youth in me anymore. hard times have made me hard, cold and collected.

just now as i was on the train on e way home, a thought just flashed across my mind:

"Quit school"

it was for a moment..but it kept on ringing..arrgh.

well..service was good..but personally e atmosphere, not tt its bad, but its just tt it could be better. and im at fault cus i have unsettled problems and i was just occupied with what the Holy Spirit talked to me in the morning. i was alone in e shower, and there i got discipled again. God, im doing my best..to love You wholeheartedly and love people fervently.

i love the people around me, but its not 'fervent' enough :x im just not fit to do certain things, and other stuff. i had not gone to school for the whole of last week.

no im not joking..i also no mood to joke anymore.

i dont think ive shared this..but recently a close friend of mine in ROSE had a rather bad christmas, i know u might be thinking hey its already 2007, fine, close your browser now. like i even care...^.O

basically, she had gone through a tough xmas, nope she's not from SG but from MY, and her dad passed on during xmas bcos of cancer. it didnt affect her a lot which got me worried, but it affected her mum greatly. i can only pray that God will give her and her mum the strength, the hope to carry on..

to tell u e truth, i have more overseas friends than local..not close friends but close enough to chat and joke around online with, and to game with. tmr serving..its been 5 weeks..cus of common test and assignment submissions..

i dont even wanna talk abt it...

sry cinth for making u wait..and thanks for the gift in advance, even though its already like the new year, ive just been at a bad spot lately. :s i cant get across until the mountain in front of me is removed..:x and i cant go round the mountain..cus im surrounded. as if im in a huge mountain-crater...

ive been thinking here and then..in e past ive been there for people..and always be the encourager and a listening ear to many..even despite what i was going through i still managed to help others but it always seemed i couldnt help myself..

now that im alone, going through things by myself, with noone to call me, msg me, PM me, there were times i thought to myself, is my sacrifice worth it, did i leave something that ppl will remember? but its ok..whenever i took time to lend a listening ear, whenever i took time to encourage someone..ive never for once did it expecting something in return..

it was something voluntary, and i never expected to be treated back e same way..so for me, its pretty okay. i have a huge 'recycle bin' inside of me anyway..lots of thrash and junk buried there.

then sometimes, ill remember one phrase in e bible: He saved others but He cant save Himself..

i know its not what it meant..but somehow, it just spoke right into me..

falling asleep now..mebbe ill coninue blogging sometime later..=X

Long update

ive not had the mood to blog lately.

well, first stop, happy new year to all.

that's a pretty ironical statement for me to make with regards to myself, to me, im still stuck at, and it still feels like July 2005, when started my IHP. thats because every new year im still doing the same old frigging assignments and tests from the same old frigging year. and i can hardly remember the last time i had a real break. nope..not even in 2-3 years.

and now its 2007, and guess what the hell, i have assignments to finish, tests to do, modules to redo and IHP to retake. well, thats just one thing, i have to remember that i missed 2 commontest just a few weeks ago over some stupid reason.

and my stupid internet is still a bit screwed up esp after the frigging earthquake in taiwan that affected my ISP which affected me. well lets see if i can survive 2 years, 730 days without break..yeah itll be amazing..ill probably just collapse halfway. X_X

besides, im already halfway there..jus need to continue on with this shit till july 2007. yeah, and i wouldve set a new record for myself. i think one of my new year resolutions would be to tire myself everyday until i die or something for the longest time. yeah, ttll be good..at least ive done something that leaves behind a legacy...how nice huh? at the same time, i can go in peace. :x

yea..its a win-win situation.

yeah i ponned class today. no mood plus go sch until 1pm a bit boring (2-3hours in sch). at least let me go sch for only 1hr la..that one more boring and boliao, i sure go school just for 1hr one..:s

well, no mood to blog..

chau...