3rd post in 1-2hours? lol.

Just some thoughts:

Your life will never change with time!

People can never change you until you start your change!

If your auto-pilot is programmed to crash into the sea, the only way is to change it!

If you dont know how to re-program your autopilot, then its time to let God do the flying.

That autopilot, is your mind.

Its scientifically proven that your body and your life will head in the direction your mind takes you.

Ive done an equation and ill show it again:

when u are angry with 2 people:

(You x aA) + (You x aB)

if you are disappointed with 3 people:

(You x DisA) + (You x DisB) + (You x DisC)

guess who's the problem? its not your friends, its not the people around you!

factorise the equation, what do you get?

You (aA + aB)
You (DisA + DisB + DisC)

who's the constant? you! the problem lies with you.

your life will only change the moment your thinking changes!

stop complaining about your life and start doing something for God!

so many people tend to LISTEN to themselves rather than TALK to themselves.

whatever their mind says, they just blindly agree.

"nobody cares", "its no use"..etc.

once again i say, today's svc was great.

when u face a mountain what do you do?

why waste energy walking round it and onlny realise you're back where you started?

Why waste resources trying to dig and bomb your way through it?

If you have faith as SMALL as a mustard seed..just say to the mountain be removed and be thrown into the sea, and it will done as you say!

"God says it, we believe it, that settles it!"

Stop listening, start talking!
Stop thinking, start acting!

Greater Is He - CCC Oxford Falls

Who am I?
That You wash my feet
Prince of heaven's blood
Shed for me

Who am I?
That You called my name
Nailed my sin to a cross
Unfailing grace

Greater is He, who's in me
Greater are You than all the earth
My closest Friend, my Saviour
So much more than I deserve

Let my life bring You honour
Let my words bring you praise
Your great love is all I want, Lord

My Refuge, my Shelter
My Healer and rest
Almighty redeemer
Salvation and strength

Ministry + thoughts

hmm slept for 2 hrs..dun ask me why..lol. no im not playing game. besides, i dun play game because its fun or what, i play so that i can socialise. strange? but true. i feel so comfortable with people i dun even know in person. maybe its because i feel so safe. whereas sometimes, with others i feel locked up and suffocating..not being able to open up or express myself.

partly cus i was hurt before and therefore, im either defensive or neutral so some people. back to ministry..slept for 3 hrs+, managed to wake up and shared cab with lynn, bro and elvin and reached expo at around 715am.

was supposed to do speakers external today but ended up doing BOTH spk.ext as well as conference area cus of 'sudden disappearances' haha. anyway, conf area managed to get enough guys so i just needed to do one duty instead of multi-duty. itll be challenging tho..haha.

mindy asked me, what do u see yourself doing or achieving by e end of this year? i told her, recording. i wanna be able to do recording not just for normal services, but for big days as well. tts my goal at least..for this year.

service was good today..called ppl earlier on to see if anyone's attending svc, but realised no one told me anything so i guessed no one came for svc except me. which is normal i guess..

you wanna talk about the test of commitment..i can say im the undisputed champion lol. u put me alone in a cg, i have a good time. you put me alone in a prayer meeting, i can also be blessed and have a great time. i go BS alone, i can be blessed to.

back then in jurong west..there were 6 services..1 service with cg, 5 extra by myself..been there, done that. lol.

to sidetrack a bit, ppl keep on telling me, how come your ear suddenly become so red ah? the truth is..i dont know..ask God..lol. i dunno how my ear flushes up and i dunno why. i wish u knew though..haha.

guess i look cute with red ears! hahahaha..ok lame..O_O






Relationship precedes ministry. One thing adam said that i will always remember. "Dont come to a point when I hardly see you".

Celgrp, Svc, Notes, Random

celgrp was great. the message was about ''turning dreams into reality''. pretty cool. i wont be posting CG notes here..but ill post a summary of today's svc's notes..ha. loong time since i posted notes. well back to cg, after cg we had kinda like a 'kampong' style makan fellowship.

had bread with:

butter + kaya
butter + strawberry jam
butter + peanut butter

and some hybrids by sebas and John/Adam:

jam+peanut butter
kaya+cheese
peanut butter+cheese
jam+kaya

and a super duper yummilicious combo:

butter+kaya+peanutbutter+jam+cheese..

WHICH NO ONE TRIED! hahahaha!!!

here's the service notes :D

2 Sam 11:1-4, 12:9-19, 1 Cor 4:24-27, 1 Chr 28:3

Everything you do has a consequence, you cannot pretend nothing has happened or that everything will be alright without having to face it.

What is your manifesto? What will people think the moment they think of you?
Manifesto - it is the public declaration of your standards and principles?
Are you going to be a person of standard? Or someone who compromise?

1. No matter how difficult life may seem, never let circumstance dictate your decisions.

-Ruth 1:1-6, Psm 15:4

2. You will either raise your standards to meet your expectations or lower your standards to match your performance.

-Isa 59:19, Prov 23:5-6

3. Only the irresponsible are willing to sacrifice the future in order to enjoy the present.

-Psm 11:3, luk 6:46-48
-What is 'God-abuse'? - It is the idea that you can get away with something in God that the world will hold you accountable for. (E.g. licentiousness)

4. The portrait of your life is painted with the brush of your character.

-Gen 39:7-9, 41:37-42, Mt 26:14-16, 27:3-5

5. You can never know a person by what they say. You meet them the moment you are willing to believe what they do.

-Jam 2:14-18

6. The productivity of any relationship is dependent upon the standard it celebrates.

-Jhn 15:14, Psm 119:79, Heb 12:1

a) My friends must be committed to lifelong relationships.
b) My friends must be moving toward a productive future. (Not just because they are fun!)
c) My friends must be generous.
d) My friends must qualify to receive my seed.
e) My friends must place character above relationship.
f) My friends must be willing to confront my enemies.

7. There's nothing more dangerous than the moment you become a hostage to yesterday's comfort zone.

-Phi 3:13-15, Rev 3:14-19

8. Whatever you refuse to conquer today will be next to impossible to conquer tomorrow.

-Jam 5:16, Mt 5:29-30, 6:19-21
-Your enemy is the smallest the moment you see it, dont give it time to grow!
-Talk to your enemy, dont let him talk to you.
-Stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself!


Serving later..gotta wake up early..haha. oh yeah..another great speaker in a few hrs time! LOL. the last point was so evident and it really struck me. whatever we fail to conquer today will conquer us tomorrow..Ps Robb once said before too..

oh yeah, PREGNANT DAY IS COMING! lol..

in case for anyone lagging..its labour day o_O

Another LMAO video..ROFL!

Crazy Japanese Street Pranks


HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!..lol..LMAO!..i dunno how many of my ass drop this week already..LOL!!!

thanks to Mrose (RuffROSE SOD Clan Leader ^^) for the video..haha. WTH MAN..haha..

oh, btw, im back on ruffrose LOL. and i lm lvl60 in less than 24hours =p cus i had lvl19x buffs ^.^

LOL day.

the day started with PI class. as usual, my team did a role play. and it was RE the poem about the Walrus and the Carpenter..haha..so funny, we were supposed to introduce ourselves as the different characters and try to defend ourselves.

in the end the walrus became a psychotic oyster killer and the old oyster became a saddist where ''everyone will die''..hahaha..Ivy and her fav phrase..okay, e role play was a bit too exaggerated hahaha..i still cant stop laughing about the psychotic oyster killer..LOL!

if u wanna know e full story, google 'walrus and the carpenter'. m_m

after that was wireless, not bad, learned some stuff i actually learned in sound ministry LOL. so it was a breeze. after that went for break. WHAT A JOURNEY!

for some reason we decided to go SIM foodcourt to makan. okay, its like up in the mountains lah! lol..and so, liyun, ivy, me and TS (teck seng) walked up the monstrous ngeeann mountain, climbed slopes of steps and finally reached SIM. and upon reaching, both cafeterias/foodcourt were FULL! lol.

okay, we sighed, walked back to NP. we decided to find this 'hidden canteen 5'. we searched high and low, walked in circles on e mountain top and eventually found no canteen 5. then ivy's fren came along, she led us to canteen 5. upon reaching C5, the stalls were no longer there!

AHHHHHHHH!

okay, we walked back to SIM and this time, thank God, we managed to find seats for e 5 of us. the chicken rice there is not bad..2 bucks hehe. with egg, 2.50. after eating, we waited as ivy and liyun went to 'malaysia' to buy their bubble tea..hahahaha..TS damn funny..and lame la..lol.

our last lesson was the funniest..i cant rem when was e last time i ever laughed so much..haha. that stupid liyun, kindergarten leh..play play go press my shutdown button on my laptop o_O. then that ivy also another kid, pull the door, dun let liyun go out..hahahahaha! OMGOODNESS you 2 rascals!! LOL.

then that liyun damn funny, she go play with the staff phone. by that time e classroom aldr had some people, it was 5min b4 lesson and teacher not yet come. she play the phone then suddenly the phone dialtone went on loud speaker. then everyone shocked..and you noe whats the funny thing? she screamed! hahahahaha....

some ppl were like laughing, some were like..'lame..', i was laughing damn hard my lunch almost came out. ^.O of course, some almost fainted LOL. 'oei! you all how old already ah!!!' ROFL...

then some smart girl wanted to show us some funny videos. dun say who, later she kill me LOL. u must know e day before she MC and went to see the doctor because her eye uncomfortable or got problem. so, she show us this video, haha go youtube find 'nissan suspension' LOL!!!!

i wont say what the video is about, haha u go see and ull know LOL. while trying to show us, she put FULL SCREEN on her laptop! and the teacher had already started lesson by then and standing behind her talking to other students.

while watching i was already lmao-ing..hahaha..actually all 5 of us LOL.

then when the teacher turn around, he went: "aiyoooooh..." hahahahahahahahaha!!! then he 'aiyoooooh' very loud, then the whole class turn to look at our table and her laptop screen...hahahahaa! i also damn paiseh la..omgoodness, haha no wonder somebody eye got problem LOL! jkjk =p hahahaha...goodness me..o_O full screen somemore..laptop widescreen somemore..hahahahaha...

everyone was like laughing lah! hahaha! LMAO. then she was like: "nononono, yuan wang ah..its just a commercial.." and we were all still laughing LOL...then the teacher, 'aiyooooh, you ah..' hahahaha...

i really literally LMAO..just that my ass didnt come off cus too tight..okay, not funny X_X.

okay i better stop here..lol..arrgh that stupid video..haha later tonite i cannot sleep <_<

Random

school was gd today. despite my snooziness, i managed to catch something from that torturous 4hour inventory management lesson! lol. i reached 10 minutes late tho..well, not exactly 10 minutes..

we can be late for at most 15min, and after 15min ure considered 'absent', so since i reached 25min after lesson started (minus 15min), i hereby say that i am 10minutes absent! o_O

ok whats worse than a lame andrew? a random andrew ^.O

oh ya, speaking of which, when ure random means u can DONT have legs right? ooh okay, so its the same..random still equals lame, but lame not equals random. ._.

in class when e teacher was teaching..dy/dy = dy/du * du/dx..

FAINT..i BLURRED OUT! o_O then dunno what sin, cos, then got differentiation combine with sin, cos, tan. DOTS. luckily amaths wont be tested..HENG AH! lolx

oh ya..i uploaded a bleach episode on my blog..lol. or..vlog..or a mlog (multimedia logging). e quality is soo much better. and theres noone to delete it. <_<

just now i wanted to go to the kitchen to toast the butter croissant to eat as night snack, then as i was walking along the dark, ulu living room, suddenly this dark figure appeared out of nowhere and made a 'HUUH!!!" sound!!

WA LAO EH..i think i got miscarriage already o_O. scare me sia! dont do this to me can? lol. anyway..it was my maid o_O. damn scary la. out of nowhere, i think i freaked her out also, tts why she 'HUUH!' then i also almost 'HUUH!', my heart machiam going to come out of my mouth liddat. ^.O

luckily i nv go and punch..hahaha...

LOL!

Get Your Cyborg Name

The Insider

okay..sooo the show was 2.5 hours o_O FAINT! lol..watch Insider already really become insider ^.O (inside the lecture room <_<) and so..my 4-6pm lesson ended at around 640pm-645pm. dots. haha.

*yawnz, tmr another long day..end at 6 also..GRAAHH! lol.

Week2 School

its been good so far..just that almost fell asleep during ecad. lol.

3 hours break now..till next lesson, 4-6. *Faint! lol. id normally be at home at this time, but decided to camp in e lib to play my game and to look back at some of e ecad points that ive missed.

i like this instrumetal piece by Michael Angelo Batio, from his Hands Without Shadows album. seriously, he deserves more spotlight in the music industry. for his talent. he is known by GuitarOne magazine as the world's fastest shredder, he is ambidextrous, he can play 2 different riffs simultaneously, in reverse, upside-down and crossed hands.

he invented the MAB string dampener which he used on his v-shaped double guitar. of course he patent it. he's also the first to sucessfully play the twin-necked guitar, as well as a quad (4-necked guitar, its shaped like a 'X', the top 2 guitars had 7 strings while the bottom 2 had 6).

waiting for PI to start..that module is like my last sem's WISP, watch movie one..haha.

Prayer meeting

it was awesome. soloed though. got to meet Joshua (not e110's Josh, another joshua from another cg whom i just knew) prayed with him. nice meeting ya bro. feel so charged up after that..haha. nv prayed with so much emotion before, i could actually tear while praying. the intensity is so great..its something ive never felt in a long time.

just being there, praying, awoke something in me that lay dormant for a long time..

after prayer went to grab a waffle from e stalls at foyer 3. then left for home. along e way met up with Linda (a friend from one of the CGs I played for), together with 2 of her other cg members. (a gal from choir and another guy). ever since she moved to ET's cg we kinda lost contact haha cus different service aldr.

and all 3 of them stayed at boon lay!!! woot! i thought this was no man's land. and their cg is mainly jurong westerners..not bad. their cg also in boon lay! haha woot!

one of her members, the guy, is actually from sound ministry and i didnt even know! we look at each other, both of us also stunned! lol. we were like.."ha?? isit??" LOL. so funny. then linda and her other member looked at us with a look of sarcasm. ^.O

and this sound guy was also formerly from the same team as my bro! lol. he told me: i know anthony lee, then i saw andrew lee so i thought both were related. then address e same somemore. but i didnt realise i was talking to anthony's bro! hahaha..damn lame lah..lol.

and oh, Glenys jus msn me, "eh i didnt know anthony is your bro leh! hahah!", WAH DIAO..i really faint now..LOL. both of them joker sia. when i asked how she know anthony she say her class and his class are very close to each other. dots..LOL.

not bad..had some laughs and life sharing on e way home with them. expo to boonlay..lots of things to talk about haha. then when i came out of the train, lo and behold i saw Amber's cg! another cg whom i played for..goodness gracious me, when did the entire jurong west gang pop out from? hahaha. 2 JW celgrps together...and this gal who loved to disturb me was there! LOL..MY NIGHTMARE! jkjk..o_O

cant wait for sch tmr..hahaha..

Svc + Java

svc was good. drama was good.

fellowship was okay. still feel uncomfortable. like ive said, the old Andrew is gone and will never return again. just move on without me.

Java just upgraded from Java SE 5 to Java SE 6. THANK GOD IM NO LONGER TAKING JAVA!!! IF NOT ILL FAIL EVERY YEAR!!!!

HEEEEEEENNNNNGGGGGG AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! o_O

you hear me???? stupid Sun Java Company!!! lol. jooo suk! wahaha!!!

to those taking Java..seriously, from the bottom of my heart..good luck relearning Java next sem. yup.

Third post..

okay, i shouted at my mum. its e worse feeling ever. ill never forgive myself.

love hurts, i dun want it anymore.

i say it honestly and ill say it now..

i hate no one, and im not angry with anyone..if ive scolded you before, just tag on the tagboard for the whole world to see.

love tank empty. cant feel love anymore. dun wanna feel love or love anymore. everybody wants love, but seriously, right now, im happier without love.

some scars are so deep the only thing you can do is to leave it there to bleed to death..

u wanna talk about emotional walls to protect myself, ive built mine so thick its no longer a wall. city walls have gates at e center. mine has no gate so dont bother trying to get in.

Andrew that once was has been suppressed, buried and destroyed. and i dont think you'll ever see him again..

time to move on...without me...

98 Degrees - My Everything

I used to listen to this song when I was a kid. Id always known this song to be about a man and his girlfriend, but now I see the lyrics again, with my spiritual senses opened, I saw something more about this song than just BGR..

The loneliness of nights alone
the search for strength to carry on
my every hope has seemed to die
my eyes had no more tears to cry
then like the sun shining up above
you surrounded me with your endless love
Coz all the things I couldn't see are now so clear to me

You are my everything
Nothing your love won't bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray
On bended knee
That you will always be
My everything

Now all my hopes and all my dreams
are suddenly reality
you've opened up my heart to feel
a kind of love that's truly real
a guiding light that'll never fade
there's not a thing in life that I would ever trade
for the love you give it won't let go
I hope you'll always know

You are my everything
Nothing your love won't bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray
On bended knee
That you will always be

My everything

You're the breath of life in me
the only one that sets me free
and you have made my soul complete
for all time (for all time)

You are my everything (you are my everything)
Nothing your love won't bring (nothing your love won't bring)
My life is yours alone (alone)
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through (your spirit pulls me through)
When nothing else will do (when nothing else will do)
Every night I pray (I pray)
On bended knee (on my knee)
That you will always be
be my everything


...Its about God...

Celgrp? Love?

heard how Adam shared his problems during cg. i thought to myself, its exactly the same as me now. u wanna talk about being emotionally shutdown? i can assure u im not emotionally shutdown, im just emotionally destroyed.

its not that i cant express any emotions anymore, its more like i DONT HAVE any emotions anymore. i cant feel love anymore. i just dont feel comfortable being loved. everytime someone wants to show me some love, id try very hard to avoid it.

im not used to being loved anymore. i just cant feel it, i just dont want it. i dont want love, i cant feel love and i cant give anyone any love anymore. Jesus died on the cross for me because He loved me, i cant feel love anymore..id forgotten the feeling. and i dun wanna be loved anymore.

id rather be hated and cast aside than to be loved. i feel so much comfortable that way. id rather live a life where i dont exist than to live as though i am somebody.

been skipping meals lately, im about to fall sick again if i continue. havent had dinner today, even till now as im typing. cg ended at around 930-10pm. i just found no more appetite to eat. seriously, life would be better without me, happier without me.

simply put:

Im allergic to love.

I just cant live with love. its not normal for me. im more used to a 'loveless' life. "what do u mean u feel uncomfortable when someone loves you?" i feel exactly how it is!!!

uncomfortable..

just now walking to MRT station the taxi drove past me so close. if only it had knocked me then everything would be over. or maybe i could starve myself to death. for some reason, i feel more happier alone when nobody is loving me.

in case ure wondering about my 'crush' post if someone had a crush on me..no, its e other way round..

Love? What the **** is love?

***Censored Post***

Hmm

Crush? ...I think so...lol

1st week so far

not bad..met a few familiar faces..

sam is still in sch. taking IMGT with me..again..lol.
boon chong, my arcade (soulcalibur2 friend) LOL..din expect to see u here haha.

classes have been good so far, lets hope i keep my unblemished record :x i intend to ace all of those modules. the only thing tts gonna be hard is IMGT. darn..

anyway, was assigned my first group work today. and so, i was e only one in class, who didnt know everyone else. but not bad, my first grp..i managed to know a few ppl: Li Yun (who decided to change her name bcus she didnt like her original one..lol), Teck Seng, and Ivy (the wild, crazy, 'everyone will die' girl who loves to watch indian shows..hahaha..)

crazy people..lol.

i feel really really old..lol..after all, im their senior o_O in age, i havent asked yet. after our PI class we went to the library to watch movie, Pride and Prejudice! LOL!!! Stupid cobra dance..rofl..after tt went for another PI class then after that watch again..(cus earlier we only managed to watch half).

also just met another guy during wireless Tutorial but havent got to know his name yet.

tts about all..friday no school..tmr is ECAD marathon..

must start sleeping early o_O

Strange Dream

okay, ive received PMs asking me about the strange dream i had. u remember e time i blogged when my teacher told me i could see me in commandos unit? haha. and the classmate whom i dun really know well, showing me his commando friend? (the one who looks exactly like me!)

well..this dream is something similar..but no..its different in some ways, it may even be totally random to some o_O haha.

anyways..here goes..

after my breakfast this morning, and after using e com for awhile, i went to my room and lie down for awhile..little did i know i fell asleep. yes, anyone whos been to my house before will know that my bed has a powerful snooze aura, the moment u sit or lie on it, ull sleep in no time..HAHAHA!

anyway, the dream started like this:

Someone i knew was murdered, (i cant rem who cus e dream was this morning, i wrote it down somewhere so i can refer in order to type, cus in e morning after typing for 15min the com auto-instant-restarted :s), when i heard e news, i was shocked in disbelief.

The next day, as i was walking past my old flat at lengkok bahru road, near bukit merah road, i was walking at e void deck of this particular block when i saw someone in a lift being sliced across the throat as the lift door closed. i couldnt see the face of the murderer. i knew he was the same fella, and that e police are looking all over for him.

then i found myself on the MRT..as i sat down..a few stops later this guy came in and sat a few seats beside me. i discerned somehow tt he was e murderer as he was acting a little weird. and true enough he stood up, grabbed e lady next to him and attempted a threat. he took a cloth with chlorofoam and placed it over the lady's nose and mouth..

just seconds before she was knocked out, he let go..the lady was coughing, tearing (because of the chemical) and struggling to get up. then he went to this guy beside me and grabbed his head, he took out a penknife and placed its blade on the man's forehead. the man was begging for his life and the 'murderer' slide the blade across his forehead..

he didnt bleed, but was left a red mark across his forehead. soon he came to me, i was scared stiff, and he grabbed me to my feet, and placed something into my nose and mouth and attempted to suffocate me..just a second before i passed out/died of suffocation, he let go..i lay on the floor in panic and stiff..

he walked to the other side and started threatening people with their life. no one dared move. at the next stop, when he wasnt looking, i sneaked out, in case he came after me. afterall, he knew that i already know his identity.

the scene then changed to my grandma's house at bukit merah road, behind the Queensway Ikea. i was about to leave my grandma's house when suddenly i sensed the killer coming for me. i quickly ran out to the corridor and saw him downstairs. panic-ly, i ran to one lift, to confuse him, i pressed '1st floor' and ran out..then i ran to the other end, (nearer to Ikea and away from e killer), walked down to the 9th floor, in case he went up to 10th floor to look for me (where my grandma's house was), and then i took that lift all e way down and ran towards Ikea..

at ikea, there was this huge hall at ground floor. the entrance looked like expo hall 8! there were few guards stationed outside, and i rushed in. next to e door on e inside were 2 policemen and 1 police-woman (not bad looking, but thats not e point!)

and so i told the officer that a murderer is coming for me. he offered to render assistance to protect me and to catch him. as they knew he was coming for me, they initiated an evacuation of the ppl in the hall. its like a DnD was going on, with a stage in the middle.

and so the people left, it was late at night and i was all alone inside the hall with the 3 police. they seemed to have laid a trap for the killer. e more i think of the killer e more scary it was to me. and so, it was past midnight, we made ourselves comfortable on the stage, next to the props.

they told me to try to get some rest while they devised a plan. i was told to sleep next to the corner prop where i couldnt be seen. next to me was the police woman, and next to her the policeman and the officer. guards were still stationed outside somewhere 'camping'.

we were pretty squashed up on e stage as it was quite small. but the props gave us cover. the police woman and 2 policeman was talking on the comms. and i fell asleep there.

early next morning, someone came in, the sound of the doors opening woke me from my sleep. e stranger came in to turn on the lights in e hall. but my discernment told me something was amiss..i told e police..'he's here'.

and true enough, as the doors opened and the party youngsters came in to play with e arcade games located throughout the hall, i saw something strange yet familiar and intriguing. the police were on standby, and soon enough, 5 people in same costumes came in with guns and long pole weapons. the guards were alerted. i tried to run but we were surrounded.

then out of nowhere..WWE Undertaker came out and delievered the sh*t to those guys, giving one of the a chokeslam and the other a lastride. i took my chance and ran for the doors, taking cover amongst the screaming crowd..at e same time..e killer parachuted down e ceiling, wearing a dark, black cloak. i never saw his face. (in the dream).

i ran out, told e guard outside, "please you've got to save me, im the only one who knows about this guy.." at once e guard told another to take e police car and drive me to safety at e nearest police station.

when i came back around afternoon, the chaos had stopped, the officer told me, 'man, how did you know he was coming?' i told him, 'when e doors opened, i could see a portion of the killer's guard's costume at one hidden corner..' and he said to me, 'we really need people like you in the police, there might just be a future for you in this.."

Strange dream? Daydream? Soon...

had this strange dream his morning, which i will blog later. i tried blogging and afer 15min the desktop went to autorestart, and if auto restart's not bad enough, it was auto-instant-restart! o_O

home's PC is falling apart also. everything is falling apart. praise God my laptop is back, but the sound's a bit 'manly', and sloooow. ^.O

i was told they changed the entire motherboard. im starting to wonder who's motherboard they changed to o_O. my files are still there though, and my settings too.

4 hours of lesson reduced to 2hrs cus no practical and tutorial this week, so after the lecture we could go. still, a LOT of things to remember and internalise. school i feel, is like ministry to me. your workplace is your ministry, your group of friends is your ministry, your camp is your ministry.

we are placed here not to be served but to serve. particularly for me, no matter what the cost.

jus wanna talk about one vision i had in my spirit during bennyhinn's crusade, during worship. i remembered as i stood there, with hands lifted, i saw Jesus coming to me. and then He did something that totally moved me deeply.

as he came nearer, His face shone brighter and brighter. when He was right in front of me, it was almost exactly the same time when benny hinn started praying for e sick and when the entire stadium was thickened, when i could hardly stand becos the 'kabod' is very thick and powerful, especially in the midst of mass healing and deliverance. this happened on the first night though..

And so, there He was..standing right in front of me, His smile i could so vividly remember. Then He started to kneel down in front of me. immediately, in my spirit i went, "no..please don't Lord.." but all He said was, "no andrew, let Me at least do this..bcos I love you.."

then i saw a vision of Jesus, kneeling at my feet and washing it. i just couldnt hold back my tears. my hands started to shake, my legs started to give way. it was the most powerful thing i experienced personally.

then He spoke out of the silence, "Andrew.." and while kneeling down and washing my feet, He lifted His face, with the smile i will always remember and He said, "Will you give Me one more chance? To love you. Will you give Me one more chance, to show My love to you? Andrew, I want to win your love back again.."

i just couldnt stop crying..that vision left a deep impression in my spirit..

yesterday as i was going home from sch, sometimes your emotions can vary from time to time. sometimes you'll want this, sometimes ull want that, sometimes u suddenly feel this and that..so on..

and so, i remembered what someone once said to me, it doesnt matter what you feel, if you keep it in the dark, it will only grow stronger, but if you let it out into the open, into the light, it will dissipate away. and also ps kong once said, if u have a need tell God, if u feel this and that, it's best to admit it.

and so i told God how i felt, and what i desired. and God is always faithful. He is concerned about even the little things in your life, even how much hair you have!

as i admitted my feelings and needs to God, He was always there for me. sometimes you keep things to yourself, it will ultimately grow on the inside and end up destroying yourself. Its not about what you have, but its about whose hands its in!

eventually God helped me come to terms with myself. i went home prayed about it, spent my quiet time with Him and His presence filled me once again.


Stop hiding, start admitting!
Stop thinking, start confessing!

School started

first wasnt so bad..my 3hr break became 4hr break. went home after eating my lunch. feel so alien..everyone everywhere looks alien to me. o_O

arrgh i want my lappy back!!! i need my notes!!! i might sound crazy but im aiming for an A for ALL MY MODULES! last lesson, Professional Issues, was 4 to 6..watch movie then ans qn. dots. and u know whats e funniest thing, its the only module where you blog!!! zomg! O.O lol

arrgh burn toshiba!! its been 2 weeks!! T_T doh..

Benny Hinn S3 + Thoughts

first of all, sch is starting tmr..and my lappy isnt back. HOW EXPECTED! o_O year 4 has started, so fast. everyone i knew, i wont be seeing them for a looong looong time..:( will be taking 3 modules this sem. feels really weird. year 4. feel so out of place..but PRAISE GOD! NO MORE PROGRAMMING!!! YES!!! JIBABOM!!!

OKAY, mebbe just a bit here and there. doing wireless technology and ecommerce applications and a 'unique' module called Professional Issues. something like an IS module. then still got e mathsy inventory management..faint!

and praise God friday is my 'off' day..haha. but mon and tues end at 6. wed thurs end at 3pm and 4pm respectively. after these, still got final year project to redo!!! arrgh!!! SAVE ME!

as for service 3, it was awesome as well. the mainland chinese really moved me to tears. "what have we been doing all these while?" never take our freedom for granted! never take e power and e presence of God for granted!

be thankful to God for every little thing!

their spiritual hunger was so great..it really moved and inspired me. i want their fire too! as a result, there was no need for an evangelistic message for e altar call..those people..are the message! and i feel not just to those who were getting saved, but its a message to us as a church, as a celgrp altogether!

today ps benny prayed and laid hands for e mainland chinese, every malaysian and a double portion to the choir. im really proud of our choir. thanks and grats to those who sang for benny hinn! =)

today ps benny moved in an arthritis/cancer healing anointing, of course there were other sickness/diseases tt were healed..but mainly arthritis (did i spell correctly? lol) and cancer. its really amazing to see atheists and buddhists and hindus coming to God. i can rem e first time i met God and my first love for Him..how happy i was and how in love i was..

God, i want back my first love...

soloed queue today again..haha..at least managed to get lower north terrace. gd view, sound and lighting. at least no more corners..haha. still it was only 4 of us..quite a saddening sight..:s *Sigh. 16 by June..tts e same as my birthday. prophetic? i dunno.

speaking of which, ps benny prophesized yesterday in Svc2. singapore is right in e center of the many countries around us, malaysia, indonesia, china, india..and we are gonna be a central healing hub for e whole of asia in e end times. and ps kong will be e key..

its so amazing.

oh ya, while i was queueing today, this bro sat beside me. a really nice guy. he sat with his fren and his gf. one of em sounded indonesian. they started talking about applying God's principles in their businesses and such..i overheard and was rather impressed..

he then turned to me and treated me chips and some drink. he was very friendly, i felt so paiseh. but since he insisted i took some. one to two at a time..lol. then he said, dun have to be embarrassed, feel free to take more. i was so moved my the love this bro had.

for a moment..he reminded me of a fren i met at another cg while playing make-up guitarist..and this guy looked like his twin! but they're not related. haha. its one of those moments of love ive not felt for a long time..

i hardly see some of my cg members this week also..at most only for a day. some none. sad to say, i didnt manage to get the name of this bro who sat beside me. even though i didnt talk much cus i didn know them, nor was in their age..they're prob 25-30+. but i felt i really enjoyed their company.

all i did was sit there listening to them. and hearing this bro sharing his experiences. i felt it was e best moment of the day! :D i was so happy..no words can describe.

but i really dont know why..with my cg, it feels so different. sometimes almost distant. both were similar circumstances:

i was jus there, doing nothing jus enjoying their company. but one felt like my happiest moment, e best quality time and e other felt..well..different. probably, one i sacrificed so much, and e other, just got to know them..

its like giving love until i run out of love to 'power' myself. im an easily satisfied person..u dun have to do much..and dun tink too much either. but i really dont know why..i try not to think of it so much too.

anyway, benny hinn's crusade's been great. truly memorable 3 days i had. must really pray for China!

"Your love, it amazes me.."

Benny Hinn S2

totally blown away..

it started soft and slow, but then God is never late.

went to queue with jibabom, stick, 18th heaven (si-ba-tian, aka sebas) and sui (si+hui). burking king and friend joined us later.

played Uno and i won twice..*Peace! ^V^ haha.

okay..so even tho we queued for 4hrs..we still got the NE section..so dark! omg..lol. but towards e end..God showed up..and it felt like e indoor stadium was gonna explode!

mass healing, mass deliverance, ppl flying and falling..and we dun even need ppl to lay hands! was trembling throughout..and when we joined hands..tts e ultimate..i got knocked on my chair once..then almost fell again like 4 times plus! and the choir! woot. when they fell i felt it hit me also and i almost fell too..

there were so many empty wheelchairs tt ps benny had to say stop..no more..theres too many..woot its like a similar story in e bible.

my legs were gonna give way..i could hardly stand..then ps Benny did it again..and again..all throughout the stadium! adam flew one row back/across. its a pity we were quite far back..but next time..no more dark ulu corner! ;)

oh and ps benny will try to talk to e israeli government to sponsor an amt for e choir to go to israel because he felt our choir was e best :) this yr's svc2..is double of what God did 2 yrs ago in svc 3 (LAST svc)..i really dunno wad God will do tmr :D

i really felt so loved..that God would touch someone like me..one thing ps benny said, 'if you were to meet God tmr..what would you say?" id be speechless..but ill jus hug Him and cry at His knees and thank Him for loving me..

jus now on e bus ride home..still felt a little electricity and semi numbness on my right palm. it lasted so long..i didnt wanna lose it..lols. it was phenomenal. ps benny smelt frankinscense on e stage..i couldnt smell it let alone see golden dust from heaven on my hands like my fren in choir did! :O

and liz jus told me tt her legs were still wobbly on e way home! man..it was so awesome.

e presence and power of God was so strong it felt as if God was putting ONE PALM of His hands like a cup round e stadium. He could blow it up any moment..i soon remembered how powerful God is and im so thankful ive got a Father like that ^^

i suddenly remembered of a story i heard somewhere..tt a grp of angels were ascending e mountain of God in heaven..where His throne sits high above the heavens. and while they ascended e mountain many angels..ANGELS..fell because e glory of God was too great. even ANGELS cant stand in e presence of God..that close..let alone us whom God placed us a little lower than e angels..its really a privilege to experience God in such a way tonite xD

after svc took a private chartered bus back to boonlay. amber and her cg hired e bus and so happened i walked past her. it was only 1dollar per person..total 50 bucks for one bus. took with stella and teddy. alighted at JP. thanks Amber xD

kk time to go get some food! lol..me hungry..

certainly a night to remember..^^

Benny Hinn S1

service was great..despite an alarming crowd..yes, alarming bcos i didnt expect it to be so small, esp today. went to queue solo today..queue at expo is one thing, queue at INDOOR STADIUM, man i almost fell asleep..actually i did, cus everywhere was foreigners and im e only chc member at tt SPOT..no one to talk to either.

i almost ended up attending service alone also..ALMOST. while i was queueing those thoughts came back to me again...

best evangelistic message, best offering message and best healing sermon ive heard in ages..

Planetshakers - Majesty

random :D

PS: do remember to stop the player in the front page first..

Planetshakers

i miss em..their songs connect with me so well..i teared as i did my quiet time with this song..

new album "Saviour of the World" is coming out soon..xD

I wan my lappy back! o.O

arrgh, feels like my social life's been takan away from me. i lie on my bed from 12am-2am+, after my bro sleep and i can no longer use e com, staring at e ceiling. ive not talked to anyone for days..use my bro's com also noone to talk to, no games to play..

im literally rotting away. the thought of going into year4 doing programming again..thats so sick. and yet i have no choice but to finish it. its like forcing someone to drink down poison. doing programming for 4 years is worse than me losing my manhood i tell u!!!

daaaamn boooored...

seriously, ive been emotionless for days now. i think im becoming a stone, a vegetable. not bad, people can pick up this stone and throw..and eat this vegetable.

nothing interests me..anymore..

Easter weekend, with hidden post.

Its been good..to see thousands come to God :) its been a great 5 services..

thinking thinking thinking..lots of things fill my mind right now..

during svc met Linda..a fren from one of e cgs i played for..shes in svc2 now, so hardly see each other. i was shocked to see her just she was also shocked to see me. smiles are indeed contagious haha..

getting rdy for benny hinn..:o

short update

still recovering..from a flu become cough. they say 80% of all sicknesses are psychosomatic. i tink its so true..esp for me. tony and sam come over today..played a few games on my pc. thx sam for e MW4 and others haha..haven tried e rest. glad u got back ur avp..ill try to find ur avp2 asap xD

although i never think about it..im starting to get curious as to how my counter hits can go up like 3-5 in an hr..o.O

anyway..hope to get back my lappy soon m_m

noe something..i kinda forgot its april fools day a few days ago. guess everyone forgotten. no idea how it started..dun care anyway..lol. been listening to lots of metal/rock instrumental by michael angelo batio..i love him and his music..hahaha.

easter is here..lots of things going on in my head...

Ministry, Laptop, Sick

well, wadayanoe, i woke up late for ministry..luckily my bro woke me up. supposed to wake up at 5am in e end woke up at 4 plus, by accident..then fell asleep again and woke up at 730am. by e time i reached expo it was already 10min before svc start and ps derek had made e pre-service announcement.

it was my first time doing recording and i find it quite fun and interesting. its like u learn halfway u wanna learn everything..haha. its been awhile since i stayed back so late to help out. helped Yi Shun keep e recording stuff, learned some stuff from him..then both of us helped lynn with e cables patching. when i reached home, it was dinner time.

throughout e service i hadnt had my breakfast cus i rushed. only after svc could i have my 'brunch'.

today finally sent my laptop for repair. so can only use my bro's com. went with tony. then he also send laptop for repair so we went together. then after seeing the shocked face from the repair guy at e centre..we went canteen1 for lunch. man i miss e food..haha. cheap and nice.

after tt we went JP to chill at e arcade for awhile. then went back had dinner. lent my guitar to my bro for him to use in sch. and it dropped on the floor from a standing position..wth. i tink my internal tuner and pickup gonna spoil in no time o_O

down with a cold and a flu...