Loving Without Investment + The Seed and the Sower

After talking to some of my friends,
Ive realized that, its not that I have lousy friends,
Its just that Ive been unwise in my decisions.

Ive been investing into people's lives,
Holding on tight to, and treasuring each individual as best as I could.

But at the end of the day, I realized that I can never please everyone.
No matter how much I sow into people's lives, there will always be others who have sown more.

Though Ive been friends with this person in my life,
Yet I humbled myself to seek her advice since she's now a cgl.

And what she said really makes sense,
That its good to love and to give, but we must be careful who we invest our lives into.

And I began to receive a revelation...

Loving without Investment.

As children of God, we are called to be givers and not takers,
People who have come to serve and not to be served.

But just when is it enough? When is it that you know you have given too much?

The bible stated very clearly. Our hearts, are like the soil.
God, people, our leaders, sow their seeds of love, time, energy and sacrifice into our lives.

Some hearts are like the rocky ground,
The seed falls and nothing happens.

Some hearts are like the thorny ground,
They receive your love, they receive your time and energy,
But they end up choking up your sacrifices, it leaves you feeling confused and unappreciated, because of the things of the world.

And the remaining few hearts are the good ground,
They are soft, they are broken, you sow into their lives, and they bear fruit.

I realized, just because a person is fun to be with,
It doesnt mean he/she has a heart.

Just because a person is your friend, it doesnt mean he/she is good ground.
And any tree that doesnt bear fruit will be cut down.
But we keep on sowing.

The Lord gives seed to the sower.
He doesnt make the one with many seeds a sower.

There is a difference.

If you are someone who doesnt have seeds,
If you are someone who always have nothing to give,
Then it just goes to show you're not a giving person.

God gives seed to the sower.
You become a sower FIRST, then He gives the seeds.

Giving is not something you do, it is something you are.
It is a character, an attitude.

You are not generous because you give a lot.
You give a lot because you are generous.

The sower will always have seed.
The giver will always have something to give.

A man can be poor and yet he can be generous.
A man can have much and yet he can be stingy.

Which soil are you today?

He who has fruits, has seeds in them.
If you have no seeds, its because you have no fruits.

Dont make the same mistake as I did.

No use getting upset over what you dont have,
Instead, rejoice in what you have.

The people around you, bless them.
The people who arent, let someone else bless them. :)

Be faithful in the little things God has entrusted to you.
And your life will prosper.

Breaking Point

At breaking point...:'(

Even the funerals of two grandparents cannot be compared to how Im feeling now...

History Repeats Itself

Sometimes when people look up to you, its not always a good thing.

Because most of them, can only look up, and not sideways.
Its very hard for them to associate with you at their level.

They feel at best with those beside.
They feel most fulfilled with those below.

They cant treat you like a normal friend.
Because to them, you're not normal.

You merely 'serve a purpose' to them,
A means to an end.

The only time you're wanted,
Is when you're only needed.

Sometimes a stranger can mean so much to you.
Even encourage you and make you feel good.

They may not be leaders or people in authority,
But they still do the work of a leader to you.

They may not be your friend,
But they know how to befriend you and do the work of a friend.

Situations dont break my heart.
Friends do.

*Longing for that hug from a stranger...

Falling In Love

Are you the one who acts?
Or the one who reacts?

Do you respond to emotions when they come?
Or do you control them?

I wouldnt say we have control over everything.
But certain things, we do have control over.

We may not stop ourselves from falling in love,
But we sure can choose to 'do nothing about it'.

Afterall, falling in love is just an emotion.
Its a reaction to biochemicals and hormonal changes.
You can fall in love, you can fall out of love.

True love is not just loving someone you like,
True love is loving someone you DONT like.

Sharings - True Life In Christ

If a person has not truly died, he has not truly lived.

It took me years to finally have a revelation of what that meant. This year has been a rough, bumpy year for me, nevertheless, I just wanna thank God for being faithful and so good till the end.

A friend was talking to me about "Empathy", and how hard it is today to find people who can really, not just sympathize, but empathize with what people are really going through.

Im sure we all have friends who just chuck us aside every now and then, not failing to realize that sometimes, what we really need, is not solutions, but really someone who can listen to our problems, be that shoulder to lean on, etc...to just...be there. Someone who can really understand what we are going through and how we are feeling.

Many people can listen, but they dont really feel what you feel.

They just go, "yea...okay...I see...hmm...ya...etc"

Empathy is something not easy, to come by, in fact, every great gift in life has to be bought with a high price, in this case, Ive been through a lot as a youth, year after year and I came to think about soil. When is soil considered, good soil?

When it is soft, and 'crumbled'. Thats why we have buffalos tending to farmlands to loosen up the soil, so that the seed can be firmly planted and flourish, therefore, bringing forth much fruit in its season.

Likewise, for empathy and sympathy, its not something we can just attain in the blink of an eye, for me, personally, Ive been through a lot of heartaches to get to where I am, and it all doesnt come easy. There were many things I gave up along the way.

Choosing the narrow way is never easy. Yet, today its so clearly seen, that wide and broad is the way that leads to destruction. Many of us often take the route of convenience, instead of the route of conviction.

Just because something is good, it doesnt necessarily mean its right.

Thats what it means to take up our cross daily, and follow Him, if we wanna be His disciples, not just believers, but genuine disciples.

As I look back in 2009, God has really came through for me. And He will come through for you too. :)

As I reflect back, I began to have a revelation of what it really meant, to say that unless we have truly died, we have truly lived.

What makes a genuine life in Christ?

Is it going to church?
Reading the bible?
Moving in signs and wonders?

Well, I just wanna share my experiences and hope it will encourage you. :)

To live the true life of Christ, to be LIKE Christ, is to live the life that He lived.
To be identified with His death and His resurrection.

There are 4 phases I came to encounter along my walk with God:

Phase #1 - The Spectator Phase

These are those who are new in the Lord. They are just starting out, learning the bible, being hungry for God's Word and God's presence. This is like the crowd who followed Jesus everywhere He went. They had needs and Jesus was there to meet their needs.

Phase #2 - The Disciple Phase

These were those who carry the cross, forsaking all, to follow Him. They were not there just to have their needs met, but to meet the needs of others. They were there to teach and to contribute back to their society and to the marketplace. These are the people who make a difference.

Phase #3 - The Crucifixion Phase

These are those who have followed Christ and grown to such an extent, that they being to face trials and persecutions, temptations, some even suffer for the sake of the Kingdom. Yes, they had their needs met, yes, they have led people and raised up disciples, they couldve even performed signs and wonders and changed their generation for Christ. But yet these are the ones who have truly paid the price. There were things they liked to do, but because of their immense love for God, they gave up their dreams to pursue God's dream.

The life they lived, may be hard, but at the same time, it was fulfilling.

Just because we read the bible, go to church, perform miracles...even if we have carried the cross and forsaken all, yet we are not willing to die to the flesh, deny ourselves and be crucified with Christ, we havent really lived.

Satan could quote bible verses, Satan lingered in the presence of God in His throne room, Satan could raise up false prophets to perform signs and wonders.

Are we bold enough to live out the life God has called us to live, even when the going gets tough? To allow the nails to pierce us, to be raised up as a public spectacle for something we have not done or deserved? To be crucified for all to see. It may be painful, it may hurt a lot and costs us alot, yet the question would be, how far are we willing to go?

The proof of our desire is in our pursuit, pastor always says.

And last but not least:

Phase #4 - The Resurrection Phase

Personally, the heartaches Ive gone through and the rough times have taught me one thing, that true life in Christ doesnt really begin in the Spectator, Disciple or Crucifixion phases, all these are great. We should give our best to desire more of God, to serve others and to live a life of consecration, but it doesnt just stop at the crucifixion phase.

Because I have my own times, when I felt like giving up, times when Ive felt empty and dry, even after serving God and serving people, we do get weary every now and then. And Ive seen people, reaching the pinnacle of their ministry, on the verge of becoming a celgrp leader, and just when they were about to have a taste of destiny, crisis hits and they back down. Sadly, some even give up totally on God. :(

Yes, they may have been in church a long time, they may have served a long time, they may have given up everything to follow Christ, but at the juncture of crucifixion, what is the deciding factor between a true believer and one who isnt?

It is in the resurrection power!

When we are struck down, are we able to get up again, and again, and again, and again?
Have we come to a point where death no longer has power over us?
Have we been resurrected into Christ's new creation?

"That we may know Him and the power of His resurrection"!

And like Jesus, the question would not be, whether have we read the bible enough, whether have we served enough, etc. The question would be:

Have our lives changed so dramatically, that when people look at us, they couldnt even recognise us?

Jesus appeared to His disciples after His resurrection, yet it took them awhile before they finally realized He was the Christ.

That is when we can say that truly, our lives have changed.

Such that when people look at our lives, we can truly say that it is not the work of a man, but the work of God! But they say, what if its the work of the devil? In the first place, the devil will never accomplish anything great. ;)

Pastor always says, 'you may be poor today, but if you follow Jesus you'll not stay poor all your life.'
You may be sick today, but in Jesus there is healing, there is deliverance.

He died, so we can receive forgiveness.
He bore the stripes, for our healing.
He became poor, so that we can become rich.

Not just in heaven, but right here, right now, in this lifetime.

In heaven we will all be perfect, is there need for forgiveness?
In heaven there is no sickness, is there a need for healing?
In heaven there is overflowing, unlimited abundance, do we need finances?

Our prayer to God, is for His will to be done, on EARTH as it is in heaven.

Faith is for the now.

I was so inspired by one of my brothers in the cg. He came overseas to study in Singapore. He came from a background of drugs, partying, getting drunk...basically, the 'underground' lifestyle in Canada. He lived in a rented apartment with an unreasonable landlord who not only took advantage of he and his family, but literally cheated his dad tons and tons of money.

Yet today, he is a successful businessman-to-be, graduating with an honors at Informatics. We not even talking about a degree, but something even higher than that. Seeing his life inspires me. Now his family has their own apartment, and he has the whole master bedroom to himself. Not only did he get it at a cheap price, somehow God made a way such that the previous guy who wanted the unit, kept on delaying for some unknown reason, eventually allowing my friend and his family to clinch the deal.

On the spot, their family got the keys and it was on the same day their previous landlord had to chase them out. If not for God, he would still be living in a life of sin and lack. And the amazing thing was, when he moved in, everything in the house was in place, from the rooms, the utilities like water, electricity, etc...even the furniture!

It serves as an encouragement to us, that if God can do it for him, God can do it for me, and He sure is able to do it for you too! :)

Those who are planted in the house, shall flourish in the courts of our God. ;)

Relationships and Friendships

Certain things have been bothering me,
Certain people have been bothering me.

I came to realize, that we cant please everyone,
Neither can we be close friends with everyone.

To be a close friend, a best friend, or a lover,
Requires exclusiveness.

Why do people leave your circle of friends?
Is it always because of something you did wrong?
Not all the time.

Friends are no longer there, because they're no longer there.
Period. Its as simple as that.
They just choose to stop showing up, they just choose to stop pressing in.

And for the one who is pressing in all the time,
He gets tired and weary and eventually gives up.

Sometimes one side can get so busy, going out with this friend, that friend, and that seed of love is no longer sown into that friend whom they once looked up to or loved hanging out with.

Love is like a seed.
It has to be sown.
AFTER sowing, we have to water it regularly.

Just like friendships, you have to water it.
If you're always the taker, you enjoy having people around because you can FEEL GOOD or because you can BENEFIT, then, from the beginning, your relationship is DOOMED TO FAIL!

Thats not love! That's lust!

Oh, play with me.
Oh, give me.
Oh, follow me.

Always its about 'me' 'me' and 'me'.

Then my friends, sorry to say, it will never work.

Feeling good and loved, should be the REWARD, not the GAIN.
You dont go to people to FIND love, you go to people to LOVE and be LOVED.

What is it that you are seeking today?
Is it love? Is it fun? Is it excitement?
Well, then if thats the case, that is what you seek.

You seek love.
You seek fun.
You seek excitement.
But you DONT SEEK THE PERSON!

How you treat people, is how you treat God.

I emphasized this a lot of times, it applies EVERYTIME.
Do you just go to God when you are in need?
Are your prayers always about bless me, give me, save me, free me, heal me?
Me, me, me?

Then sad to say, you may not know it, but thats how you end up treating people as well. Relationship is not about finding the right person, but BEING the right person. Its a matter of character and attitude!

Its about having that...EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT, or EQ for short.

Many people want to change individuals, but you fail to realize that before you can change someone, you must first ACCEPT him/her for who they are!

You dont change them then accept them. NO!
You accept FIRST, then you change them.

How do I know?
Look at Jesus!

Did He say we must be perfect before we can be saved? NO!
Did He even say you must do good then you can enter heaven? STRICTLY...NO!
He paid the price FIRST, then He said, it is finished. Believe in Me and you shall be saved. Salvation is a free gift, not something you can work for.

Nonetheless, we may not be saved BY good works, but we are saved FOR good works!

He is the ultimate example.

And unless your relationship with Him is strong, unless you have a clear revelation of who God is to you, you wont be able to examplify that same love, that same relational skill to others.

Until you realize the revelation of the extent of His forgiveness, you'll find it hard to forgive.

Until you realize the revelation of the extent of His gentleness, you'll find it hard to be gentle to others.

You become loud, angry all the time, aggressive, attributes that arent even in the character of God.

Having said that, until you realize the revelation of the extent of God's CHARACTER, its hard to have that same character. We cant give what we have not received right?

True friends support each other, they build each other up.
They are always there. Just as how JESUS is always there for us.

"I will never leave you, nor forsake you"

Do we wanna be like Christ?
Then are we able to say the very things He said???

Can we say to others 'I will never leave you nor forsake you?'
Can we say to others 'Ask and it shall be given, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened'?

When it comes to commitment into relationships...

Guys, you have the part to play for setting the right vision, upholding the right standard in that relationship!

For ladies, you have the right to support the vision of that man, that is why women are called the "Helper".

If you know the guy you are attaching yourself to is a jerk, please dont be stupid and say, "even though ure a jerk, but I still love you and want you to be my boyfriend". Then, you better support his vision of being a JERK!

If there's no support, no unity, how can any relationship stand?

Thats why knowing a person is so important. Dont make commitments to be with someone, just because YOU FEEL GOOD around that person! Hello???

Then what happens the moment you dont feel good?
OOPS! Sorry. We are no longer friends.

HOW CHILDISH CAN YOU GET?

Thats the purpose of relationship! Not just having to go through the good times, but the BAD times as well.

Every relationship has to be tested in the fire. Only then, the true value of the 'Gold Ore' will be revealed.

Decide today, not just to be a taker, but a giver.
Dont just take, take, take, and then have the nerve to just WALK AWAY...living a life...IN DEBT! Yes, DEBT. Not financially, but emotional debts.

A debt, is still a debt.

Dont end up making use of others, and then later chucking them aside.

Be faithful in the little things.
And much will be added.

Decide today, to be like Jesus, and not YOURSELF.
Deny yourself right? More of Him, less of you? ;)

Oh, and when you give. You gotta let the seed die.
Only then will it be rooted in the ground and bear forth fruit.
Dont give half-heartedly, holding on to it.

Thats what it means to give unconditionally, not expecting anything in return. :)

Dont have this terms and conditions thingy,
You are having a friendship, a relationship, not a contract.

Sacrifice, Honor, Blessing (Long Post)

Has anyone offered to send you home?
Has anyone offered to set aside time to spend time with you?
Has anyone offered to buy you a drink?
Has anyone offered his/her seat to you?

These are the things we know as, acts of kindness, or acts of love.

Firstly, dont necessarily associate 'good' things, with 'right' things.
Just because someone is nice to you,
It doesnt mean he/she genuinely did it out of love.

We must always have an open heart and strike a balance.

So how do we react when people offer to do things/spend time with us?
And we know it costs them something?

Do we 'paiseh' and say its okay, or do we accept it?
This is something a bit tough for me to blog about, and I may not necessarily be right about everything, but Ill just share from my heart, my personal convictions, these are the things that make me...me.

We always say, 'when you're happy to give, Im happy to receive'.
On the other hand, there are those who say, 'when you're happy to give, I dare not receive'.

Hmm, its up to you to decide which statement is more weird to you. :D

So...the question now is...

When someone takes that step of love toward us, and it will cost them something, do we say yes, or no?

Personally for me, if I know that if that person chooses to sacrifice his/her time for me, and the person is tired and needs to rest, Ill say, 'why not you take a rest first?'...But I dont stop there. Good social skills will complete the second half of the statement to 'balance' it out, saying, 'when ure feeling better let me know and ill be glad to hang out together with you'.

In the second part, initiative and ownership comes in. Not only concern is shown, but you take charge and you respect the intentions of the person.

Similarly, when someone offers you a seat, especially when MANHOOD is involved, say no if you feel uncomfortable, but when when the guy INSISTS, then just receive it and praise the Lord. Have an attitude, of gratitude.

A true friend will always allow the other party to exercise his/her character development.

Serving is a good attitude to have. Giving is a good attitude to have.
As a true friend, we want to see the people around us grow, and these are things they can practically live out, on a day to day basis.

When you allow a guy to exercise his manhood, not only you strengthen and encourage him to be better, you two begin to build closer relationship by giving and taking.

But of course, if you truly insists its okay, then eventually the guy has to give in. But then, what is the sin of omission? It is knowing what is right but failing to do it. What if its the guy's conviction? You just made him stumble...and the bible warns us of being stumbling blocks.

Of course to other guys, its okay, as long as you're fine with it. Thats great too.

Similarly, guys, if the sisters wanna do something for you, receive it with joy, be thankful, appreciate them. But as men, dont forget to return the favor! ;)

Every good thing comes from God.
Every blessing is from God.

One thing Ive learnt from a cute young girl from another cg, is to never reject a blessing, because if you reject a blessing, you reject God Himself. Can you imagine, I got scolded and convicted by a CHILD! It totally changed my life! haha.

Same goes with genuine love.

If a guy, does something out of love, but in his heart, he intends to make use and manipulate you, then you'll be a fool to let him do it.

But if someone is genuine and out of his/her conviction, does something out of love for you, instead of showing pity and treating serving, giving and sacrifice as something lowly and 'compromising', we should treat such, with honor and with respect.

The greatest in the Kingdom of God, are those who are the servants of all.

So treat them with honor, with respect. These are the greatest in the kingdom. People who give their lives for others.

Im sure when Jesus makes time for us, or He goes a great distance to do something for us...take for instance...dying on the cross...

Do we say to Him, 'eh, no need to die la...its okay, You should live and enjoy life, no need to worry about me.'?

Remember what happened when Peter told Jesus, after Jesus told him that He had to die a tragic death for the sins of the world? He said, 'Lord, it shall not be so!'

And what was Jesus' response?

"GET BEHIND ME SATAN!"

Wow! I mean, just...wow. Was Peter concerned for Jesus? Im sure he was. But Jesus's reaction...why? God wanted something done, but out of our own 'face', our own pride, even though what we did was a good thing, it was not a GOD thing. It was still something we wanted, not something God wanted. So you think being Jesus' disciple is easy? I mean just look at the way He disciples His disciples...

For failing to understand His parable, Jesus 'discipled' them.
"Do you have eyes that cannot see? Ears that cannot hear?", etc.
For failing to heal and deliver people, Jesus 'discipled' them.
"Oh faithless generation!", etc.

And when He disciples, its pretty strong and sometimes, it will even offend.

If we're not for Him we are...?

Against Him.

I feel we need to be more spiritually aware, for every earthly thing, there is always something spiritual behind it.

Sometimes we pray to God for a blessing, and God uses people. Sometimes He wants to bring some things to us, but because of what we feel is right, we hinder Him, and then we go back home, crying to God, "God, why didnt you give me a blessing, a breakthrough? Ive been praying so long!"

Dont you think that will irritate God?

Like.."Here I am, wanting to bless you. You dont want it. And now, you complain that you dont have it..."

Come on, lets grow out of that kiddish mentality.

A person who sacrifices for us, who gives unconditionally for us, yes, it hurts them sometimes, but nevertheless, these people do it with joy, fulfilling the call of God upon their lives.

These are our great leaders, mentors in life, who are willing to set an example for us to follow, yes, we show them our concern, but more importantly, lets respect and honor these people that God has raised up, to be a blessing and an influence for our generation. :)

I remembered my incident where I promised a word to a friend to go jamming. But last minute, I had to attend a multiple service, because I wanted to. In that case, God spoke very clearly to me, swear to my own hurt, keep to my word and meet that friend. Can you imagine it, God Himself asking me to skip an extra service!

Is going extra service a good thing? Yes. But at that moment, God wanted something else done. To cut the story short, I had a fruitful time that day.

Anyways..

If you truly care, we can always learn 'repayment', or in "Christian Lifestyle" terms, restitution. (or was it Victorious Living? Hmm, haha. Cant rem)

Treat him/her to a meal, give them a good birthday gift, send him/her words of appreciation, in this way, the relationship is two-way, and when there is agreement, there is power! :)

When God offers something to us, do we feel 'paiseh' about it?
No, we take ALL WE CAN! lol. Similarly, if we treat God like that, do we treat people the same way, 'unknowingly'? We just wanna 'take all we can' and not be willing to give back to the person.
We'd rather take the shortcut of convenience.

We think:

If the person doesnt sacrifice, then I wont feel the need to repay him/her. So its better if he/she doesnt sacrifice, so I no need to feel compelled to give anything in return.

To me, that is the wrong mentality! We totally missed out on whats the most important.

If we fail to understand the heart of fellowship,
We fail to understanf the heart of God, that longs for fellowship.

God placed people in our lives for a reason.

Imagine you give you offering to God and He says, 'no need la, keep it, I know you need to eat later, I paiseh laa...' then what kind of whimpy God we serve?

He receives it with the same joy you give it.

Then what?

He blesses you back, WITH INTEREST!

Lets not just be takers, but lets be givers. People who are generous. ;)

Jesus says, "I have come to give you life, and life more abundantly."
To us, if we wanna be like Him, can we say the same thing too? ;) Food for thought.

Sacrifices

If you did not fight hard with your life for something, you have no right to complain over it when you fail to have it. Especially if someone else who had fought harder, is learning to live with it despite having his disappointments.

Castle Age

Getting high on Castle Age on facebook lol.
I rushed to a battle rank of a Squire at just level 8 :x

Add me! Add me! Add me! LOL.

Drink Driving

People who drink to drown their sorrows and anxieties end up drowning their discernment to detect such emotions as well.

Alcohol impairs judgement, we all know that. But few know that its not a temporal state of mind, but with every drink and every 'high' you get, you sever brain connections in your emotional and analytic section of your brain.

In the long term, damage and 'modification' in the brain becomes permanent.

Thought the effects wears off over time, these connections in your brain do NOT regenerate back. Apart from your eyes, and your ears, your brain is the only tissue/organ in your body that does not regenerate its cells.

From birth to death, you have the same eyes, ears, and brain.
While tissues and bones regenerate as we grow, these do not.

As a result of frequent alcohol intoxication, people not only 'forget their problems and anxieties', they actually dont feel it. What does it mean? It means exactly what it says, they lose the ability to discern such emotions.

Thus, people who drink a lot tend to have misunderstandings, loss of temper control, insensitivity, etc, especially in a relationship.

Since these people 'force' their brain to a high frequently and cutting off emotional and analytical connections, the brain is not able to process negative emotions as accurate anymore.

Not only does it affect them emotionally, in terms of abilities, they are also impaired. The lose focus, and get distracted and impatient easily.

The effects of drinking may be temporal, but the damage is long-term.

Knowledge is power. If you dont have the knowledge, you dont have the power, to live a successful, meaningful and fulfilled life - Maximizing your potential, both in your service to God, in your relationships with people.

Drinking once in awhile is okay, but still, its bad enough to 'modify' your brain, the moment your emotions start to change or you enter a state of high. Then again, live by your convictions.

Just as how irregular heartbeats can kill e person, irregular activity in the brain can also have its effects. Of all the things in your body, you choose to play with your brain? There's no wisdom in that. Thats foolishness.

People dont understand when you tell them: If you drink, dont drive.

Their english is so poor that they misinterpret it as, "If you're drunk, dont drive". Come on, how stupid can you get? But if you're really that illiterate, then let me help you to rephrase that:

If you're a drinker, dont be a driver!

Period! Full stop, end of story! You are just downright irresponsible.

They say real men can drink a lot. Well, you can drink a lot and still be a LOSER IN LIFE! WAKE UP!

Its not about whether ure drunk or not. The fact remains, you have consumed alcohol, your brain connections have been modified, in some ways, its effectiveness, IMPAIRED!

Its like you saying:

"Oh! Im sitting on the toiletbowl. But Im not shitting or urinating WAT..."
Yea right. Then what are you doing? POSING FOR A FAN PORTRAIT!?!

Dont tell me you drink so much until you forget how to use your brain!

No use getting a criminal record just because you stink of alcohol. Really. Its not worth it. Worse still, you stink of alcohol and you tell the officer, 'but Im not drunk wat...'

Ya..you have a tummy, but ure not fat! O.O

Online Bibles

http://bible.crosswalk.com is a good site if you're looking for online bible reading.

Im soo hooked to it. Check out the NLT version of the book of Wisdom, Proverbs, here:

http://www.biblestudytools.com/nlt/proverbs/10.html

Great verses include:

"Doing wrong is fun for a fool, while wise conduct is a pleasure to the wise."
"Lazy people are a pain to their employer. They are like smoke in the eyes or vinegar that sets the teeth on edge."
"It is possible to give freely and become more wealthy, but those who are stingy will lose everything."
"A worthy wife is her husband's joy and crown; a shameful wife SAPS HIS STRENGTH."
"Fools think they need no advice, but the wise listen to others. A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted."

OUCH! HAHAHA!

Not only you read with your sight,
You can click on the 'Listen Audio" button. :)

With the combination of sight, sound and reading along on your own, you activate also speaking forth the word. Great for your quiet time.

You see the Word. - If you can see it, you can have it.
You hear the Word. - Faith comes by hearing, and hearing from the Word of God.
You SPEAK the Word. - If a man does not doubt, he shall have whatever he SAYS.

What are you waiting for today? Get filled in the Word!

Abide in Him and He in you. :D

Decent Entry, Finally!

I realized something...Ive been blogging about nothing other than notes for the past dunno how many weeks, or even for months.

So pardon me, cus this entry will or rather, may not have much revelations in it. Just need to pen down certain things thats going on in me during this season...

I must admit, the 'withdrawal syndrome' has got a hold of me once again...

For many, xmas is the most happening season of the year, yet for me, most of the time, its the most depressing...one or two people will know why... and I guess, there are people who can identify with that need, that burden...

This month Ive spent quite an amount of money, first of all, and I dont want to spend again. Whenever my bank account goes below 3000 I go emo for some reason...

Sometimes I just dont know, on one hand, Im aiming for 10,000 in my account by end of this year, which isnt gonna happen anymore, so I guess ill aim for that next year. And then 1,000,000 before Im 30.

Yet at the same time, this verse keeps on hitting me in my spirit, "and do not withhold anything from anyone who borrows..." part of the sermon on the mount, and these are beattitudes we're talking about.

So I dunno, on one hand, I want to be the head and not the tail, yet on another hand, we are called to give, and keep on giving. Wisdom is good. But does wisdom overtake the concept of obedience?

Can wisdom come to a point where it can be used as an excuse not to obey?

To me, obedience is still greater than sacrifice.

Hmm..I dont know, what do you guys think? People who are in need, you feel 'obliged' to take care of them, and at the same time, you're obeying at the expense of yourself. Which is probably the right thing to do...but I dunno, Im confused.

And these people who borrows are not squanderers of money, they're genuine in lack, maybe because of a family issue, etc. What do you do, when you come to a point like that?

You want to be a blessing. Yet most people avoid opportunities to bless.

They want to be a blessing but they dont want to give!

How can you bless unless you give? Like...DUH!

We are blessed to be a blessing.

If you dont like to give, you will NEVER be a blessing.

And since you wont wanna be a blessing, you will never be blessed!

Its only when you come to a point of willingness to bless, willingness to give, only then will God give you the grace and the empowerment for every good work.

Ah Ma's neighbour, the one whom I prayed for twice only, has just recently been admitted to AH...with pancreatic cancer, i think. Even though I do not know him personally, yet I feel so compelled to visit him weekly to pray for him.

Even though my schedule is already so packed, and worse if people last minute this and last minute that.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail!

You expect me to make changes that cant be made on the spot.

HAHA! Ouch. Kidding. lol.

But yea, I dunno, really compelled. Sigh, is it because Im so used to this 'hospital life' for almost 2 years? Or is it because I really feel that I need to do something. If I have to fight once more, I will. In fact, Ill be GLAD to kick the spirit of infirmity's face! Satan, I told you before, even if you just show your face, I make sure you have no more face to show! :@ RAAAAHHH!!!

I dont care who is sick. You let me see a sick person, no matter who he or she is, you will jolly well get it from me you serpent!

Pardon my outburst...lol

Ive come to a point where I really cannot tolerate sin, I really cannot tolerate sickness. People will then say...but you cannot take matters into your own hands. Well, okay, I wont. If its God's 'plan' to bring something good out of it, then so be it. But it wont stop me from obeying His word, to take authority and dominion over the evil one!

God is in control? Yes. I let Him have the control.

I just do my part as a faithful servant, to do His will, and His will is that none should perish, but that all to come to repentance, that the weak can say I am strong, that the poor can say I am rich! That if we lay hands on the sick, they WILL recover.

Recently, Ive been feeling stoned, I wont say Im feeling down but, just lost, just tired. Ill still do my best. Im beginning to miss those days in poly once again...

Those lonely lunches I had at the canteen in front of the scenery...just me and God, no one else. It was so quiet, so peaceful. Those times, I had no friends, yet He was all I had... It was just so intimate, so romantic...

Im beginning to feel myself being drawn back to that point in time once again...where you just want to please Him and no one else...not even the standards man has placed on me, but His desires..having that relational experience with Him...

I dunno, I just feel myself drawing away from so many people, or maybe...they werent there in the first place, all talk, no action...

Random Shots - Bored. LOL. (Dug up from past)

Fun, Fun and More Fun?

Fun is good.

But those who only seek after fun will never come to a place of seriousness in your life.

You fail to make decisions, you fail to plan.
You fail to organise your life, you fail to prioritize correctly.

You just want fun, fun and more fun.

Your relationships dont last,
Your lifestyle is no good,
You're all over the place.
You're not firm about things.

You waver with the crowd, waver with circumstances.

Stop for a moment.
Stick your feet to the ground.

Do something with your life!

Lessons

Most things are caught, not taught.

But the wise will make sure they avoid learning things the hard way.

If you're stuck in a situation, you dont need to be a rocket scientist to know, its because nothing has changed.

What are you doing about it?

Stop pondering and start doing.

Short and Sweet

Ive been itching to say a lot of things, but Ill summarize it in one statement:

If you're a person who doesnt like to reply people,
You will attract the like-minded, people who dont like to reply you.

Period. End of story. Full stop.

Ouch.

Breaking Through Through Relationship

Hmm, its been said that our primary calling is to a RELATIONSHIP with God, not a religion.

That being said, what does a relationship with Him means? Exactly what it sounds like. A relationship. DUH! lol.

And so, sometimes we wonder why we dont get our breakthroughs, well, for a start, examine our lifestyle now. At the level where we're at now, how often do we spend time with God? Already we are so busy, you think God will entrust us with a higher position or a larger growth in cg?

No lover in the right mind would do that. That being said, that person would no longer be called a lover but a dictator.

I began to realize, to God, we matter more to Him than anything else. He loves us deeply, He died for us, etc. And if giving that promotion, giving that breakthrough...as good as it may seem...if by doing that we become so busy, we have no time for God, we burn out, we dry up, we drift away from that intimacy with God, then am I right to say that God rather not let you have that breakthrough! True? :O

If you want God to trust you with greater things, you must first be faithful in the little things. Let God know that even if the breakthrough or the promotion comes, that He will still have His 'bf'/'gf' with Him, every single day.

If He cant have a relationship with us, then sorry, its hard for that breakthrough to come.

If I have a wife and she's gonna go overseas to study for like 6 months to a year plus, Ill plead with her to stay if possible, take a local degree or something, just dont go because Ill miss her, she's more important than that degree, which she can get locally. I know its hard, I know it may be expensive, but at least we are together, we can overcome anything, we have each other.

Same with God, He wont let you go...

At where you are now, right here, right now, is there intimacy between you and God?

"For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God" - How many times have we not given Him that attention, that appreciation, that WORSHIP? Yet, He keeps silent and loves us behind our backs?

That is the power of love. That is true commitment in a relationship.

Swines and Dogs

Many things have happened recently and in the midst of my struggles, sometimes even crying myself to sleep, God began to encourage...well, not really encourage but speak to me in this one strange verse..

Mt 7:6 - "Don't give what is holy to unholy people. Don't give pearls to swine! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you." (NLT)

In some translations it says "Do not give dogs what is sacred". This is solid meat man, this is powerful stuff! When in the whole bible do you mention them referring to a group of people as DOGS? Yes, there are brood of vipers, and all that, but DOGS? God must've meant business here.

What are swines and dogs? No matter how precious a pearl is, swines will just see it as any other object. They tend to step over it, they dont appreciate it and sometimes even walk away from it. These pearls are your revelations, your blessings, your precious life experiences from God, etc. Pst Kong did a sermon once about it, like 1-2 years ago, cant really remember when.

Dogs on the other hand, they eat away your leftovers, leave nothing behind and sometimes even bite from the very hand that feeds them. Ive been reminded how unwise it is to take what is meant for you to share it with irresponsible people. Now, it may seem a bit unreasonable to withhold things from people, but even God Himself holds back certain things and even hinders some people, all in His sovereignty and divine plan and purpose.

If God's purpose is for you to have something, and you give it away, the moment you do that, that thing, that experience, that gift and revelation, has been considered 'out' of that purpose, out of that will. Its like you casting away your own destiny. The spirit of Cain, who exchanged his birthright for a bowl of soup!

Not only does it show an unwise stewardship on our part, it becomes unfruitfulness when what God has given to you, thats meant to be sown into someone else's life and to bring in an increase, a growth, ends up in vain.

Likewise, on the contrary, if we're not careful, we will end up on the other side of the spectrum, being "Christian Swines" and "Christian Dogs". We dont appreciate the things of God, we trample over those in authority and we neglect those whom God has placed in your life. You live for the blessing more than the blessor, be it God, or even your friends, your leaders, who gave and sacrificed so much for you.

We despise revelation and we say spiritual things are BORING, dull, plain and we limit God, we doubt Him, etc.

These are your spiritual swines and dogs, and the bible is very strict, that blespheming against the Holy Sprit is a very serious matter. Okay, Im going off topic with the blespheming part, haha. But yea.

Dont despise the things of God, dont neglect the His people, and touch not His anointed ones.

It has been a painful experience for me, but I learnt many things, and I began to feel identified with the sufferings of Christ Himself. I know how it feels like to seek fellowship and no one replies you, I know how it feels like to give of yourself and no one appreciates you, I know how it feels like to be alone and everyone else out there is either too busy or having fun, I know how it feels like to have great plans, good intentions and people doubt you or worse, even get suspicious of you.

Arent these things the same way some people treat God? How you treat people is how you treat God. It just hurts God so much, it breaks His heart, even though sometimes He doesnt say.

Sometimes I think back and I begin to say, "God Im so sorry for how Ive treated you, seeing everyone treat me like that, I begin to understand how You really feel. God, I want to be always available for you, I dont want to leave you alone anymore. When You speak to me, God I will reply and I will press into You. God, I will set aside time to spend time alone romantically with You, whether is it shopping alone, eating alone, God the little that I have, I give it to You..."

God is knocking at the door of our hearts everyday, longing to fellowship with us, longing to have a chat with us, to give us good gifts and a great destiny, but just how many times we have let Him down, yet He readily forgives us? Ive knocked onto the door of some people's hearts, but they turn me away, the same way they turn Christ away, with their busy-ness of ministry.

I long to share my life but people seem uninterested, the same way God wishes to share His plans with us yet some of us are always occupied. When we pray, we only ask God for things. There's no love, no affection, no intimacy. God is just a vending machine to you, the same way some have treated me.

"Bless me, protect me, anoint me, encourage me, teach me, lead me, show me, etc" - Everything is me, me, me. Its not wrong, dont misunderstand me, but where is the element of relationship?

The question today will be, are you "using God"? Or are you loving Him?

The christian life is not a one-way street, it takes 2 to make things work. Now, if nothing's happening in your life, then ask yourself, are the 2 working together? Who are the 2? You and God. Are you both in agreement? Or does God have His plans and you have your own plans? Are you guys in sync? The place of agreement is the place of power.

Hold on tight to these pearls that Christ paid a big price for. Treasure the people around you, cling onto the revelations God has given to you like they mean your life, your food, your means for survival. Im a very silent, peaceful and sentimental person, though many would disagree after seeing my YouTube haha, but yea, I value people's feelings a lot and I meditate a lot, like my friend says, I remember every single word and every single thing anyone has done or said to me.

But like sentimentality...

The sentimental value of the blessings, revelations and people God has placed in your life,
Reflects the level of your intimacy with God.

When your best friend gives you a present, do you not hold on tight to it?
When you lose it do you not cry? Because it meant so much to you.

Likewise, what are you doing with what and who God has given to you today?
Are you emotionally attached to God?

Its one thing to love God,
Its another thing to BE IN LOVE with God.

Are you two living like married singles?

You do things because you have to, because its a routine, etc.

Check your relationships. They tell a lot about your walk with God.
A friend also reminded me of the "Kisser or Cleaver" sermon.

Its weird cus everytime my heart breaks, I blog a lot, like A LOT, really A LOT. Haha. I guess its risky to break my heart because, whats on the inside will come out. Hahaha.

If my reaction is drastic, like from a funny chatty guy to a solemn, silent and serious persona, then you know that the Andrew you live with, has been hiding behind a shell. :S And I do admit, I am most of the time...to feel accepted, to meet the demands of ministry, etc. Im working on it, but sometimes you cant help it, things are moving so fast, you just got to adapt on the spot. =/

Sometimes even though you're hurt, you have to be cheerful for someone. I know how it feels like and I believe people can identify with that. Im really doing my best, but sometimes, I feel Im not doing enough. There's no...'constructive feedback', no 'response', and I really dont know whether people feel better, inspired, or just downright bored with me.

Everything is a one-way street for me, maybe its because your relationship with God is also a one-way street? Haha. Okay, I shall not say anymore, I think its clear enough...

I may not have the ability to lead, Im not even a connect group leader or a committee member in cg, Im just a normal teddybear who plays guitar with a lot of thought and emotion, ultra thick on the outside to bind and rebuke every demon and evil spirit and to start a war with hell every single time I get provoked with the Devil, but inside, soft like marshmallow, even when people scold me, I just take everything in, like a sponge, keep quiet and smile.

Okay, Im getting VERY off topic, cus Im typing this on notepad at my workplace since I have no internet access and I cant help but to pen down my thoughts, or rather...keyboard down my thoughts haha. Ill be copying and pasting it directly when I get home. Im doing my work too, dont worry. :O

Teachability, Deliverance and Prophetic WoK

If a person is willing, teachable and open, if a person is sincere and truly desires change, God will speak. I learnt that on tuesday as I SMSed Evangeline.

Anyway, to cut the long story short, I received an SMS in the midst of a conversation that made me manifest at work, yes (not violently but...through the softer approach). You think you can only move the hand of God in church, and when laying on of hands? Think again.

Basically when I read the message halfway, I felt as if my graves have been dug up, things deep down that I just brushed aside and moved on in life, not dealing with it. Because sometimes circumstances kinda prohibit me from doing so...

At one moment, you're discouraged, at the same time, before you even get encouraged, someone comes to you and needs help, you know you gotta encourage the person, so you stir yourself up, put in some faith and love, and you encourage him/her.

Whether the person actually thanks you is another thing, but anyway...yea. Somehow after that, you too feel a bit better and you're okay, not knowing that you have actually 'brushed' aside that hurt, that problem. And when you're okay, I mean, you ARE okay, not putting on an act of something but, genuinely okay.

Some people think that if you're so quick to forgive and forget, to them, you're weird. Like...how can someone change moods so suddenly and instantly? Well, I can. And when Im okay, Im REALLY okay. Even if it seems impossible to be okay, instantly, well...I have.

So I'll just end off with what she said that really pierced me...when I was reading the first half, I almost burst, then somehow, the messages were delayed and you have that "Missing Text" thingy, that gave me that delay in time to make my way to the toilet before I manifest full-blown :S So yea, I continued reading on and I just broke down like nobody's business...

For those who were interested to know what the Word given to me was, it commends on your hunger for spiritual things, for those who didnt ask, well, it just shows that you just want to play and have fun. Thats all.

"You have a similar temper as mine, a strong sense of justice...

:) Its alright to want to love and protect someone.. But 1st of all, you got to break away from your own self. You're also someone who carries a lot of hurts. Different from mine of course.. But I really feel, the 1st step will be to ask God to take away every past hurts towards people around you. You remember every single thing that people do and say to you, good and bad. But somehow, the bad stuffs win over the good stuffs. Lots of times, what people did against you, might not affect them, but it affects you badly and in turn, you remember these things and they turn you into someone doubtful about yourself.

You struggle with your own self esteem even though you try to hide it. You are a very good bro who cares for others. But can you think for a moment, about your own well being. Take care of your mind and esteem yourself. You can do more de...more than what you're doing now! :) Im always inspired by your revelations, that is your gifting. Next will be to help others literally to break through. But 1st, break through in yourself and in the way you see yourself. Dont care how others see you, it's not the now that matters, but the future. :)

Andrew, you're called to rise up. You don't need to wait till NS to end, you don't need to wait for someone to appreciate you in order to rise up. It starts with recognizing how God 1st loved you the way you are before anything else. :) Every leader will definitely go through what we go through. Yes, there are people who rise up because they can grow groups. But desire to be a leader of influence that will rise up to fulfill the call of God and this wont be easy. But God will bring you through. Stay broken... A true shepherd knows how to fill themselves to overflowing, and then allowing the overflow to fill others. Be tat true shepherd. :) And when the time comes, God will bring the promotion. :)"

Template Changes

Ive decided to revert back to the simple, easy to read and neat template. :)

And also since my tagboard is inactive, Ive decided to remove it.
Partly also because some posts I double post on my facebook and people comment there instead of here, but in the event you wish to comment, you can still click onto the comment link at the end of every post.

Then again, not every post will be copied onto my facebook, the general and more personal ones will remain here while the more 'practical' ones, mainly the revelations, sermon notes, etc, goes to my FB besides here.

Ive got something to blog, but Ill do it later when I have the time.

If you think the anointing of God can only flow in church, via laying of hands, or a face to face encounter, then you're seriously limiting God! ;)

One Life, Live It!

Your life will be the character of the one who controls it.

If your life sucks, its because your character sucks.
But if you put it in the hands of the Perfect One, then your life will be perfected by the perfection of His character.

We all will die one day. When? Only He knows. But as He has promised, the end WILL be unexpected. Could be tomorrow? The year after? Few years down the road? Just because you're young, dont for a moment think that you still have a long life ahead and end up complacent.

Will you be the foolish one, to waste your entire life away, all your passions, all your energy on something that will not last? You get stressed, worked up, anxious and worrying about things that will never have any eternal impact.

What does it mean to really live life?

Its not merely to have the best in life, but to GIVE the best TO life!

So that the day we die, at least we leave behind a legacy for people to remember.

People will not remember what you have,
People will only remember what you have given.

The legends in life are not those who have owned the most,
But those who have GIVEN the most.

What is the one thing you have given to others, to society, today?

We only have one life,
Dont EXIST through life,
LIVE it!

The Man With The 1 Talent

Whenever we read the parable, we always see this man as the lazy and wicked servant who hid his talent (be it in terms of finances or gifts, etc)

However, on the train just now, when a member of mine began to share his testimony on how God gave him a direction in his life from that parable...

I began to have a different perspective...

Some of us, we have our "One Talent"s, be it, a broken family, bad academic results, wrong job, etc, things that are deemed insignificant and at times, discouraging or even down right unfair and painful.

But what did the servant do?

He hid his talent. Why? He was...AFRAID.

At times we may feel afraid of what is going in our lives, but we know and we know, that these things happen EVEN THOUGH we walk upright with God, and we know that we know, in a way, these things are situations God has allowed to shape and mould our character.

But let me encourage you, just as how God spoke to that servant, "The least you could do is to deposit it in the bank so that I can receive it with interest..."

What does 'BANK' mean to us? For me, I had a revelation of bank being the 'system of the world', or in short, the 'world' itself.

The one talent that we have, painful, shameful, intimidating as it may seem, if it is PART of the PROCESS of following the Lord, then know that God is in control.

Dont become like that lazy and wicked servant.

Even what God has given to us, may not seem to have any potential to multiply, even if what God placed in our lives seem pathetic, never hide it, never be afraid of it, never feel ashamed of it, because the steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord.

But deposit it into the BANK, the world, the society...and let it be a blessing to others!

We say that God wastes no bad experience, this is what is all about, this is what faith really is...the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen...perceiving things which are not as though they were!

What do you have in your hands today? Is it your abundance? Is it your means of survival? Is it your most despised possession?

Whatever it is, if its that one talent, do something about it.

And I believe when we put the little into the Master's hands, it will become much! That is why in the parable it said, that when we deposit that ONE TALENT into the BANK, into society to be a blessing, your testimony, it shall come back to us with INTEREST!

Looks at the servant, he called his Master the one who "reaps where He has not sown and gathered where He has not scattered seed" when in fact, the Master did SOW the seeds.

But even that, the Master didnt defend Himself and say, "How can you say that?" or "I did not reap where I have not scattered seed!" The Master accepted what the servant said, in a sense, but despite it, He still said that the least he could do was to deposit it and get it back with interest.

Even if God is unreasonable, even if God is unfair, which He ISNT, but EVEN if He is that stingy 'God' some people claim Him to be, He still believes in the little that you have! That is the demonstration that indeed, with God ALL things are possible!

If you are a businessman, be the best businessman you can be.
If you are the average student, be the best student you can be.
If you are the less fortunate ones, then STILL strive to be the best in that which you already are, faithful in the little things, and much will be added!

:)

Gratitude

If you're not easily contented, you wont be easily grateful, you will find it hard to be satisfied in life. In fact, you will be MISERABLE! Those who seek the best in life, tend to lose themselves to get it. But those who are faithful in the little, MUCH will be ADDED because only God can give you that which is greater than what you already desire.

CG + Testimony

CG was great. Sean's testimony is the best. Really feel so happy for him.

Anyway, since I failed to share mine, I shall do so here.

Haha.

Today I received multiple financial blessings, from my welfare dept :D

1. $140 worth of Choice vouchers which can be used in Cold Storage, Giant, Shop n Save, Guardian, 7 Eleven and Market Place.

2. $5 NTUC voucher

3. $7 Shaw Brothers movie voucher.

4. And an entitlement to a flexi-benefit claim worth $80, for sports items - clothes, shoes, rackets, bags, etc.

If I had passed my IPPT, I would be entitled to $130 instead, but oh wells, I dont really know what to buy with $80 worth of claims of sports EQ haha. :x hmm.

Service is gonna be great tmr.

31hrs to go. :D

On a side note, who wanna lan on sunday!?!?!?!?! HAHA!

Dunno what to blog about haha

Stop existing,
Start living!

Take responsibility and ownership over your own life and do something instead of sitting round the premises, waiting for the promises!

Start praying, start reading the Word, start fasting,
DO SOMETHING!!!

God moves only when you move!

So what if you're busy with school?
So what if you're busy with work?

To be a disciple is to FORSAKE ALL, and follow Him,
Pick up your CROSS, and follow Him.
Choosing the narrow way, even if it hurts!

DENY YOURSELF!

If all you want is a comfortable life, your life will be comfortable, as simple as that. You will never accomplish anything, you will never go anywhere.

Only the hungry and the faithful shall eat the good of the land.

Without faith, it is impossible to please God.

Imagine God sitting in heaven and all He hears is your complains and grumbles,
instead of you putting your faith and the authority He has given you, to work.

Your life never changed because YOU never changed!

Quality Service Workshop

One thing Ive learnt during the workshop, which I was 'selected' to go on monday afternoon haha:

Bahaviour is a choice.
Having a good attitude requires practice, practice and practice.

And more importantly, a good friend who allows you to make mistakes so that you can be put in an environment to learn and grow.

Its been proven through studies that when emotion is high, logic is low.
Likewise, when logic is high, emotion is low.

That is why you can never get anything into an angry person,
Same for a fool who is falling in love with the wrong person.

Before you solve a problem, you must solve the emotion.

Learn to act and not react!

Post Death Bloggings (LONG POST!)

Many things have happened recently, and Ive been thinking through a lot of things.

Some people see death as the end of life,
While others can see death as the end of sufferings.

Life is like an internship, we come, we do our assignment on earth, we go.

What does it meant to be 'attached' to the world?
Exactly what it means, attachment to things/people in this world.

Everyone wants meaningful relationships. Yes, people are important.
But people are not the foundation. The Word is.

That is why we are called brothers and sisters in Christ, we are co-workers, and together, we are the BODY of Christ...for God's purposes in our lives, it is through these 'colleagues' that we learn to love, learn to give and learn to mature and handle life.

What does it mean when bible says that the power of death has been broken?

More than just the physical victory over death, and stepping into God's presence when we leave, it is the POWER that is broken.

In layman's terms, death has no effect, death has no power.

Some people ask me, do I not care? Yes I do.
Some people ask me, how come Im not affected? I am.
Its one thing to be affected, its another thing to be carried away.

Death is a selfish spirit. (Death IS a spirit by the way, thats why its called the SPIRIT of Death).

More than just the departure of a loved one which seems selfish to leave us all alone, for the mourner, it can be deemed selfish the moment we choose to hold on to that which is not ours.

We must be careful that we dont come to a point where we think we own a single thing on this earth, because honestly, we dont. We are all just stewards, of not just material things, but PEOPLE as well.

At the end of the day, God is not going to say, 'well done, good and faithful son, well done, good and faithful pastor, well done, good and faithful leader'...No. The only commendation we will receive is, 'well done, good and faithful SERVANT.'

What is it that we have contributed to the lives of those around us? Do we take from others more than what we can give?

For every person in your contact list, if you were asked to list the things you have given to that person, what would it be? How many will there be?

But honestly, at the end of the day, God will hold us accountable over everything and everyone He has entrusted to us. Have we properly looked after them? How good is your stewardship?

Another reason why Death is selfish is because we tend to get worked up, over how the person can bless US, its about OUR benefit, what WE can, or COULD HAVE gained, etc. I dont know whether you notice or not, but that seems to be the trend. It is the occasion where we want to TAKE the most.

Its like saying NO to God Himself.

Its okay, to miss someone, that is human nature, but be careful not to come to a point where you try to BE God in that situation, or it affects you so badly that you keep wanting and wanting and wanting, instead of giving, giving and giving. Or worse, you get angry at God.

Throughout this period, I have learnt many things...

In fact, many things have happened. They say fire purifies, and I believe so strongly.

Many people tell God, God, use me. God, I want to be a blessing.

But to do that, you have to position yourself for God to use.

Use my example as an illustration, I discovered who really cared, who really didnt. I mean, for those who smsed me, or asked me how I was doing, I really appreciate it all esp my cg and a few others who came down, whoever you are, love all you guys.

There are those who were busy, whom I cant blame...cus 'some' are always busy hahaha, its like a tape recorder playing over and over, or those who simply couldnt be bothered.

Even if you're genuinely 'busy' at least give me the assurance or let me know. Instead of creating 'suspense' for me. Im someone who walks away from dead ends. Dont expect me to understand if you're not gonna express it.

PS: For those who are innocent, haha stay innocent, sorry, I was too caught up and everything occured between midnight and sunrise to inform you guys. :(

I mean, honestly, there's no greater opportunity to be a blessing than to be there for someone who's in need. Btw, Im not gonna dwell on all the 'wrong people', Ill just state a truth that is fair and unbiased so that it can apply even to myself.

So for those who prayed to God, God, make me a blessing, you arent really sincere when you prayed that prayer because you ignored an opportunity, and you could bless but you chose not to, you chose your comfort...especially if you're enjoying your holidays or term breaks and with nothing to do.

Especially if you said something and you didnt do it, then if we are like that, how are we like God? Whatever God says, doesnt fall to the ground. Whatever you say, does it fall to the ground?

Back then, I posted something about A.S.K. - Asking and u shall receive, Seek and u shall find, Knock and it will be opened.

We all want to be like God, but have we come to a point where we see what God sees, thinks what God thinks and SPEAK what God speaks? Are we able to, like God, say to others, 'Ask and u shall receive, seek and u shall find, knock and the door will be opened'?

Can we provide?
Can we be found?
Can we be open and honest and proactive?

Back to the death incident...

Ive been thinking what God gave me not, one, not two, but THREE encounters in ONE DAY! One of which was an angelic encounter.

Its one thing to encounter God, its another thing to encounter God AND angels.

Maybe God probably knew, at that point, I was really broken, and God wanted to give me that assurance, that comfort. And if I believe correctly, He couldnt find anyone at that time, who's AVAILABLE.

So what happened? He did everything Himself.
Pst once said, "If you're not interested or you're too busy, God can always find someone else"

There was no one to comfort me, it was 230am past midnight, everyone, or rather, most of us were asleep (what a bad time right? hahaha)! So in that situation what did God do? He did find two of my cg members who were awake. To one, He spoke a bible verse, to the other, He moved in his heart to go down to the hospital with me...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ALL THE WAY TILL 5AM.

Now, frankly speaking, I was AMAZED. I was even more surprised that there were EVEN people still awake! LOL.

So anyway, I needed comfort and love and God knew it. I mean, He knows our needs.

All he had, were 2 faithful members who arent even in ministry yet, they are just NEW MEMBERS, but they were available, and God placed in them that ANOINTING TO DO THE WORK OF ANGELS. And that night, they were like angels to me.

God knew I was at my breaking point, He needed to do a miracle for me and I did pray that something will happen, at least to give me that peace and assurance.

And Jesus probably asked Father God, 'Who do we have?' and Father God probably said, "Lets see, all we have is 2 new members, but I will make them do great things, in them, I will place the anointing to have the power of a miracle!"

True enough, these 2 members, young and new as they may be, became the angels and the miracle I had been praying for, in that time, in that season.

Friends, God needs things to be done. While men is looking for better methods, God is looking for better men. That is why we are His BODY, His hands, His feet, His eyes, His ears, His mouthpiece.

And if you want God to use you mightily, then stop being "IN USE".

We are His body, and very often I realized that God uses people the most.

When poeple need a guitar, I can provide, when people need finances, I know I can give, its within my capacity to do so, when people need a listening ear, I can travel all the way to the east just to be there, these are things within my means, but more than that, I take every opportunity God can work through me.

Some of my blog readers told me once, "Im so blessed by you, how do you do it?" And its simple. All blessings come from God. I just chose to be that "Wrapping Paper" God could use.

Every opportunity I can speak a word, I take it.
Every opportunity I can give something, I take it.

Relationship precedes ministry.

For me, personally, my relationships are my ministry. We are here not to be served, but to serve, and to give of our lives for others.

You can be so into your celgrp MORE than your celgrp MEMBERS.
You can be so into your job MORE than the income you gain that can be a blessing to your friends and families.

Yes, leadership is good.
Yes, earning money and being efficient at work is good.

But lets not forget, at the end of the day, when we stand before God, who will be the ones who will come and shake our hands and say, "Thank you".

At the end of the day, "who will have everything you have worked for?" I make a decision to give and keep on giving, to encourage and keep on encouraging, to bless and keep on blessing, to share and keep on sharing even though some people find me a 'bother' haha.

Im just passionate haha. Whenever I have a revelation, Im excited to share it, because I know I can strengthen someone. :)

I may not be a leader myself, I may not be the most experienced or the most smartest or the most eloquent, but whatever I have, I wanna make the best out of it.

Giving becomes easy, the moment we receive the Giver Himself. ;)

If God can do it, if a gaming geek like me can do it, so can you.

Holed Up

Something, or rather, someone, has been missing in my life for some time now.
Its strange because I got over it awhile back.
Now that my life's empty again, I begin to miss what means to me the most.
And only one person came to mind...
Back then, I had other people to 'distract' me.
But now, hardly anyone is there anymore.
No one feeds that emotion anymore,
And when you're at your hungriest, you think of the most delicious food.
Its like the first thing you crave for after fasting.

The feeling of being talked to.
The feeling of not being alone.
The feeling of mischief and fun.
The feeling of being young again.
The feeling of giving to someone.
The feeling of sharing with someone.
The feeling of just knowing someone is with you.

Just because I know people are with me,
It doesnt mean they are.

Its like you shitting on your pants.
The toilet knows its purpose is to relief you.
You know you gotta go, but you're just not in the toilet.

So, are you a pants-shitter?

Only babies and the immature do that.

How can you love someone without loving someone?
How can you support someone without supporting someone?

They say love is blind. God is love. Therefore, genuine love isn't blind. It is fully aware, fully active, fully responsive.

If love is not visible, its not there, period.

Love is more than words, it is an act. Salvation doesn't come because you heard a sermon, or you know a story, salvation comes when you believe in it and you dedicate your life to live the lifestyle of a true believer.

Rant

Talking to some people is like asking me to pay respects to them. You have the Life of God and yet act as though you're attending a wake!

Random

There are some people who lack initiative.

There are some people who lack passion.

There are some people who never get back to you.

There are some people who dont even know whats going on, because you dont bother to.

Im tired of being the good friend, if all I get is anyone but a true friend.

God is gonna hold us accountable for our actions, things we have done, things we have not done.

I know I did my best. And I trust God to do the rest.

There are those who dont even try.

There are those who are lazy, unfocused, and avoid sufferings.

These are the selfish at heart, only wanting the good things for themselves.

If you dont look like the God of the Bible,

If you dont even have the love of God,

Then sad to say, God isnt even in you.

"Take all of me, in exchange for all of You"

You ask God to take all of you, yet inside, you lied,

Because you'd still rather hold on to certain things in your life,

You're not serious about God taking your all.

Breakthrough is constantly outdoing yourself.

Most people dont outdo, they either maintain, or they perform less than they really should because its easier and more comfortable.

If you dont pay for it, you'll never get it.

Yes, God may have already paid the price for your salvation,

But if you're not willing to live the life worthy of that price,

At the end, you'll still fall short.

Just because you've said the sinner's prayer, it doesnt guarantee your salvation.

Just because you go to church, you have encountered God at some point, it doesnt guarantee your future in God.

Because at the end of the day, you still make the decisions in your life.

What you wanna do, where you wanna go.

Its time for me to move on.

Pursuing my destiny, letting go of people and things that are holding me back.

Yes, at times I will go down to your level, but I refuse to stay there.

If you're not willing to do something to move up.

Just because your 'position' has changed, it doesnt mean your life has changed.

Just because your life has changed, it doesnt mean you have changed.

Life is like a race. God being in front, the devil being behind.

Both are progressing.

The moment you lose your momentum, or you slow down to take it easy,

Yes, you may not feel anything happening in your life,

But the devil, from behind has certainly caught up nearer to you.

Eventually, if you're gonna continue living like that,

The devil will catch up with you and 'eat' you up.

The storms come and devour you, you break.

2nd Departure in 10 months.

01/12/09

Before 1800hrs: Received news ahma was still clinging on...

2000hrs: Sean, Me and Prija were at the ward praying for ah ma. She has been transferred to the isolation ward. Breathing stopped twice, before my eyes. Fever above 38 degrees. Breathing? You have to be there to see it and understand it.

Prija was telling me, presence of God was so strong in that room. Jesus Himself was in that place along with angels. She's such an amazing girl, she can somehow have angelic encounters so easily. Not long ago she shared about the 'person' who entered my house during cg and walked past her, into the center of the circle where we sat.

2300hrs: Prayer meeting and worship at my house with Sean and Prija. Presence of God so strong, power of God all over us.

02/12/09

01xxhrs: Still not asleep. Received sms, she had another attack. Informed Adam, Prija and Sean. This time her heartbeat was gradually decreasing. We were losing her. Something prompted me to call Adam up to pray. I just knew I needed to.

0200hrs: Still not asleep. Received second news, she is going. Informed Adam, Prija and Sean.

In my room...presence of God entered my room. I was lying there, but I felt it all over me. I knew something was going on in the spirit, I waited. And the Lord spoke so clearly with a slightly open vision: "Andrew...do you trust Me?"

"Yes Lord, you know I do..."

Presence of God increased over my body, this time, it felt like ripples of rushing water, waves upon waves, being swept all over me. Again...He asked, "Andrew...do you trust Me?"

"Lord, no matter what happens, I know you are a good God, even though I may at times be unfaithful, Lord I know you are always faithful."

I still couldnt sleep. Something kept me awake.

On Prija's side, God would not let her sleep, instead, asked her to read the bible.

Upon opening, EXACTLY at where she last stopped from her bible reading, right there and then, God gave a verse so clear.

0240hrs: Received last news. She was gone. Informed Adam, Prija and Sean. Prija immediately replied, "You know...I dont know how to put this to you, but God gave me a verse just now when you msged me they were losing her...Gen 25:8"

I opened the bible, my heart pounded...

"And Abraham breathed his last and died in a ripe old age, an old man and satisfied with life; and he was gathered to his people."

Right there and then, the 3rd wave of anointed filled me entire room. Presence of God tripled, this time, it was thicker, it was more tangible, it was all over me, waves upon waves. Somehow, my spirit discerned, there were more than one 'person' in my room.

Was it the Holy Spirit? Ahma? Ahma's guardian angel? I dont know, I couldnt tell, but I was pretty sure there was more than one in my room.

Power of God so strong, it started to feel like electricity all over my body. Its one thing to feel the goosebumps on your goosebumps, its another to feel something move all over your body, all around you. Like rushing water, electrifying atmosphere.

And Holy Spirit spoke so clearly, "Andrew...do you want to say anything to Ahma? Say it now. I will relay the message to her."

I was laying still. Overwhelmed by what was going on, and I told God to tell Ahma my last words. It was because of her, who prayed for me every single day, that inspired me to do likewise, to live a life of prayer. She has shown me strength no one else, not even fit guys with abs and biceps ever had. Not just mentally, but physically.

No offense, but, if you were there to see her fight, it will make people like Adam and Thomas look like sumo wrestlers! Seeing the energy she put in, the fight she put up, every last breath, giving it all. Hours after hours, day after day, night after night. And she's in her seventies!

Presence of God lingered awhile, before slowly departing from my room. As if, when ahma departed from the hospital, she dropped by my place, passing through. God even made sure she had an 'escort'. More than just children, we are prophets, priests, and KINGS. And He treats us, His children, as such.

Do you treat the people around you like prophets?
Do you treat the people around you like priests?
Do you treat the people around you like KINGS?

When Holy Spirit enters a room, you feel it. But when more than one spirit enters your room at the same time, you WILL feel it even more.

The wake starts today, sunday will be the funeral and cremation. Coincidentally, the same days as ahgong. Maybe God wanted this couple to have it on the same day, although different date? I dunno. Ahgong's wake was also from wed-sat, and the funeral/cremation, on sunday.

In the midst of the suddenness of her departure, God sent 2 angels to me. Sean and Prija. At 2am plus, they went all the way down to the hospital to accompany me. (Its a miracle they were awake at that hour! lol)

And you're not talking about 'spiritual giants' yet, I mean, these guys have joined us for less than a year. They are not a cgc, they are not a cgl, you're talking about new members, okay, not so new, but yea, still growing in the Lord.

Bible study-wise, just started out not long ago...but look at them, living the life Christ lives. It just goes to show how real God is in their life. And I know some of the things they go through, when they share with me, believe me when I say, they've gone through a lot.

They have paid the price and obtained a prize.

A bunch of revelational people, that never fails to excite me with their encounters. The encounters you have in your life tells me a lot about a person's spiritual life.

If you have no revelation,

If you dont have encounters,

It just shows that the Lord is not your God!

Because He is alive!

And if He's dead in your life, I dont know who or what the heck you serve.

Yes, there may be times the Lord is quiet.

But surely, at least once in awhile, I hope you still have them.

Spiritual Desert

What do you do when you find yourself in a spiritual desert?

Pressed on all sides with anything but faith.

Having done all, you just stand.

It wont be long now, but we still believe.

She, too, refuses to go until whatever she wants done, is done,

Whatever that wish is.

Many have asked, 'how is she?', but truly, words can never express what she's

going through. For a relief, its good she doesnt know what she's going through.

Living on instinct, fighting for the last breath.

I have never seen anyone fight this hard, fight this long.

A 70-year-old+, exerting the same energy as anyone else who's sprinting for 4hrs straight.

I really appreciate Sean and Prija for coming down today...

I guess, seeing once is enough. What I failed to put in words, they saw with their eyes.

Its not something everyone can take.

Furthermore, the same thing happened about 6 months ago and you think its over.

Stroke and pneumonia is bad enough.

Infection causing fever, thats worse.

And the worse thing is, you are there, paralyzed.

Just as how the sight of the Cross is powerful enough to change a life,

I believe those who skip meals, drink, take drugs, smoke, have temper problems,

Should be there. The sight alone, is enough to change your life.

I believe so with all my heart.

Yet day after day, I live like that.

Surrounded by death, sickness, sadness, loneliness and despair.

Not that Im filled with it, its just, Im SURROUNDED by such.

People, situation, whichever way you wish to interpret it.

When she stopped breathing for a few seconds,

My heart stopped beating.

How does one know what a person is going through?
Simple. By "going through."

Anyone think its easy to sit in cg every week to praise God as if everything is all right?

It takes a whole lot of faith and capacity to do that.

Thank God for a large capacity.

But capacity alone is not enough.

They say, faith without works is dead.

Without faith it is impossible to please God.

Thus, without your WORKS OF FAITH, it is impossible to please God.

Nothing revelational. This is something really basic.

Its called applying the 'substitution formula'. Something like that.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

So out of the lack of the heart, the mouth doesnt speak?

Works both ways. Again, applying 'reverse psychology' or whatever you call it.

I admit, Im bad at coming up with chimology. =/

Anyway, Sean and Prij and me, 3 of us, had a great time at my place.

Its different, when there are people praying with you. Not 'spiritually'.

But physically, tangible, visibly.

Presence of God was so strong just now.

I began to speak a word to Sean, I dont know how it has blessed him but I merely obeyed and did my best. Prij was trembling, I was tearing. Power of God came upon that place. From praying to worshipping, it was just awesome time. We could go on forever...once you start, you cant stop.

Sean was just resting his arm on my shoulder after that and he was telling me, 'man, ure burning man, power of God is all over you...'. wow? haha. I dont know, I guess I was too carried away.

Prij was sharing with me, during cg, think the week before or 3 weeks before, during worship, when I was playing, suddenly, she felt someone (Jesus) walk past her and entered the circle where we sat...

It was just awesome.

I didnt have a vision like that. Gotta pray for more visions and dreams, last week or something, I prayed with Evangeline over the phone for the first time. She shared the power of vizualization which I want to have.

Tired, been losing my appetite.

Sometimes, people think Im strong.

But actually, Im just numbed by the pain.

Like how when a person is amputated, the pain is so immense it sends a signal to the brain to numb the entire area, or worse, enter a 'coma' or state of unconsciousness to 'protect' against the trauma.

Unlike ah ma, whos in a state of semi consciousness (physically),

I feel Im more in a state of emotional semi consciousness.

Im aware of whats going on, but Im unable to respond to it.

Tired

I seriously dont bother anymore.

Do what you want. Say what you want.

I was seriously hoping that at least one friend would show up.

But no, it had to be another pastor from another church. Whom I do not know.

But really, thank God for sending someone.

I have many people behind me.

I have 2-3 beside me - My family. No friends.

I have none in front of me. Apart from God.

The things I saw and heard today, will stick in my memory for life.

As well as the relatives who were there.

This is one 'room' in my brain that will always be empty.

Since I went through it alone.

A 'room' no one, except God would understand.

Thats why its hard to understand me.

Cus 70% of my entire life experience was encountered, alone.

You only receive and understand 30% of who I really am.

Which is sad.

But to me, Ive gotten used to it...

Just ignore me. Ive not eaten and have not slept.