spiritual attack...again...lol

yesterdae's night was another night when i got another spiritual attack while sleepin...

at around 2+ i tink...i felt a sudden force totally pinning me on my bed. i couldnt move, not my hands, nt even my mouth or open my eyes...there was litterally nth i could do but to feel e presence of fear/death on me...pinning me onto my bed...

e last time i had another spiritual attack, nth much happened except e evil spirits were yelling at me and charging towards me. this time, e attack was different. it was an individual. and as far as i could remember, there were no voices except my own mind. not even e voice of God. i was alone...with that dark spirit, vulnerable to all e bad things tt he could do to me. its like lying there helpless, waiting to be tortured.

it began...i felt him grabbing me by my face with such strong force, turning my face left, right, left, right. i was lying on my bed with my head moving sideways. i couldnt shout, i couldnt move, i couldnt open my eyes...e feeling of extreme heaviness was still on me...also he took my right hand and swung it against e wall on my right. praise God I felt no pain...:)

after some time, i could rem e spirit askin me to point my middle finger at him...there was nth i could do then, even if i refused to...i couldnt refuse to...he took my right palm and he did sth i nv done by my own effort, he lifted up my hand and pointed my middle finger...then as if he was playin with me, he crossed my middle finger across my index finger to a twisted position, and tt was when he started to squeeze on my 2 fingers, with e middle one across my index finger.

he was squeezing on one of my finger points where it would hurt very very very much. it was tt sensitive area. jus try it on urself if u dun believe...haha - cross ur middle finger across ur index finger and wrap ur left fingers across ur twisted finger position and squeeze the knuckle point round ur middle finger...esp ur index finger. pain!...lol

but i thank God he was there to rescue me. miraculously i felt no pain at all...it was as if all e devil's powers were useless against me...:) i felt boldness and strength rising, and i began to confront tt spirit with e Spirit of God in me. verses frm e Bible began to come out frm me...e evil spirit began to lose his grip on me and i felt e sense of extreme heaviness leaving me...but he jus wouldnt give up, he began to press me down again, pinning me. again i fought back with e Sword of e Spirit...and praise e Lord he left...=)

after tt, i was relieved to feel e presence of God once again...i felt charged and ALIVE! :D tt was when he spoke to me, reminding me of my commitments to Him, how urgent it is to build up not jus my faith, but to make my Sword bigger and stronger by e Word. ive been stagnant for some time, and after this encounter with both God and the demon, ive finally feel stirred up to compel myself to grow stronger in e Lord. :)

lastly, ive come to realise tt knowing tt God is by ur side is not enough, but to know tt God is IN u is a different thing altogether. knowing tt God is by ur side ensures ur sense of security, sense of not being lonely, encouragement. but knowing that God lives IN u, is diffferent, it to know that nth can stop u, tt thare is nth tt can overcome u, knowing tt u can overcome everything, knowing that u BELONG to God and nth can take u away, knowing that in everything, u will prosper and overcome, knowing that God loves u and knowing that He who is in u is greater than he who is in e world...XD

XMAS!

xmas was indeed fun n exciting for me...yup and definitely, life changing...:) on fri night, went for xmas service at indoor stadium! it was great! e drama was indeed spectacular...it was sooo good, tt u could actualli cry at some scenes and so on, it was great. i give them 20/10! =) n also bcos the drama realli carried e presence of God as well, if not why would thousands of ppl receive e first christmas gift, God's free gift of salvation? XD

and e break dancers were certainly cool! muahaha, not only did they look good, but they sure can dance too! :) overall, everyone at e SIS had a great time, yea! :D hmm, wondered if anyone have e mp3 for tt song tt was sang durin e drama, "There must be more to this..." its really really really really really nice, and touching. i want tt song! hee...

sat was jus great too, went 2 daes in a row, din expect PsKong to speak on 2 different topics for e 2 diff services. nevertheless, its good so begin seeing chc in a 10000 seater stadium. ;) indeed God said, "I WILL build my church, and e gates of Hades shall not prevail against it". :D met many new frens and a new cg member, jeremy, 17, NJC. :) surprisingly and shockingly, i stay at blk 665a while he stayed at 664B! lol, tts like across my blk!...lol went to his hse todae...rich kid man, haha. but its good to know someone like him, a lot of potential to carry out God's purposes...yup :)

went for e christmas countdown organised by my church...din exactly sae went smoothly. ppl were literally "SHOVING" and sprayin all sorts of stuffs into faces n all tt, and someone i knew almost got his contact lens infected! din exactly countdown...my cg all went to mc-cafe to chill on some mocha while we fellowshipped there as e "riot" was happenin...lol heard though, tt there was a fight near e road junction...poor things...lol

din exactly received any presents, anyway im not lookin forward oso, other than a new top and jeans and a $50 billabong bag...but nevertheless, it was e greatest christmas ever, and i believe tt every year its gonna get better. :) really thank God for giving me "the" christmas gift, havin able to receive salvation and a relationship with Him. and how exciting it is, to live a victorious life, knowin tt "if God (of e universe) is for me, no one can be against me"...=)

It's xmas season!

This week had been exciting so far. monday went to orchard with my cg frens, well, both e110 n w318 of course haha, went to support my church's Strikeforce percussion ministry. despite e human sardine can, and lots of waiting and despite e tiredness, indeed our church's performance really brought orchard road to life! =)

e performance by strikeforce is really exciting, e ausssie band was good too, well, of course, there were others as well :D while e performance was still goin on, suddenly a particular song caught e attention of our ears, it was "I will go". man, i was like, they're blasting it in Orchard Road! XD...whoa

yesterdae i had another exp with God. woke up late...supposed to be in sch by 8, latest 8.05am. not jus tt, i had to walk all the way to e field near e sports complex and later cross e road to e other side. intentionally, i had to leave my hse by 7am. but e prob is tt i woke up at 7. i was tense, worse still, im e team captain n i can t afford to be late, esp for my first wk as team capt. eventually i left my hse at 730. 1/2 an hr left to get to sch, walkto sports complex and cross e road.

but as usual, i asked God to bring me a miracle, to bring me thru this moment where it seems impossible. God can make it possible. =) when i reached e MRT stn, e train was already there. e moment i went in e "Doors Closing" buzzer rang n i departed frm bnl stn. reached clementi at 7.50am. e moment i walked down e stairs to e bus stop, e bus arrived. praise God, i went in and e bus left.

reached sch at 8am. i immediately left e bus, and hurried to e field behind my campus, across e road! lol. even my frens and partner have left me oredy, haiz, ppl of little faith..lol jus kiddin' =P when i was crossing e overhead bridge, surprisingly and miraculously, my sports teacher came up behind me. lol we chatted and praise God! i reached e field at 8.04!!! with e teacher somemore...LOL woohoo! XD

yup, yesterdae night i went back to orchard with my cg frens to watch our church perform at orchard park. man, we partied till like 10.30pm. lots of ppl there, irene ang was hosting. she very farnie..lol nice contemporary christmas songs, cool break dancing, farnie skit by " The Incorrigibles"...lol very farnie and e christmas drama. :D strikeforce gave their performance again...cheered for Adrian! haha...:) all in all it was a fun night.

lookin forward to christmas service at e indoor stadium on fri n sat. yup, and ill b goin for both svc-es. =) hee

E110...multiply...W318...revival...multiplication

so happy, celgrp finally multiply! yea :D so exciting...

but at e same time so sad, me gonna miss m having celgrp n fellowship with me previous bunch of bros and sistas. we were so close, like family. went through a lot, thru tears and laughter, thru great fellowship and inspiring discipleship, even at tt point when we were about to get disbanded. yet God is faithful, He brought E110 thru e storms and lifted us and here we are: E110 becoming E110 and W318.

well, im one of e few who got transfered to W318, e new cel grp. why i say one of e few is bcos, well, W318 have clearly lesser ppl. well, indeed may God bless my new cgl Keryn. i believe it wont be long b4 W318 begins to multiply. Faith puts no limit on God and God puts no limit on faith. im really gonna miss Evangelyn, rachael, adam, wayne, willard, joel, vivian, stella, jasmine, sebastian, daryl. well, at least im glad i still have pow wee, my bro, shin, pamela, hazel, peng, felicia, quincy and yongren with me, not forgettin keryn, congrats! =) wonder where kelvin, emileen and andrea's gonna be? hmm...haha (if i forget to list down other names, dun hunt me down k? muahahaha...XD)

in no time, everyone's gonna be a cel grp leader one day too...well, if ya ask me, i feel that if E110 is to multiply, wayne's gonna be e next leader. not sure abt W318...haha, pow wee? mebbe? :D hee...*sigh, wished sandee was here to join in this wonderous occasion...but sadly, she left...*sigh

recently chooch got me this job at NTI. have really great potential to earn like 21k a mth. but its based on network marketing, which is like e more ppl u bring in to ur network, e more u earn. and when they join is like at e same time they buy e product. and further create more networks. but somehow, i dun feel right abt this, i mean, not jus bcos e product's like 288(1 account) plus registration fee of 30+, i dunno if its my spirit-man, or is it jus me, it jus doesnt feel right. sth's amiss...everytime i think of NTI, i feel disturbed, i feel...well, unsafe. firstly im uncomfortable with tt worldly environment there...SUPER WORLDY. cant stand it...and i KNOW, its somehow its gonna draw me away frm God. yes, id rather serve God than mammon. and id rather live for God than to live for myself.

yes, life's not jus abt money, success, prosperity, its about God, its abt ur purpose, its about how much God loves u and how much God is able to give to you, and do through you. it about how UNIQUELY made u are, and how God loves and knows u for who u are. it doesnt matter how u live ur life, Jesus paid e price for ur wrong doings, He thought of you when he was nailed and He said, "I love you, I am doing this...for you." He took our GUILT, our SHAME, our diseases, he took our past and future wrongs and took e punishment upon himself. he has given us a new life, a blameless and righteous life of peace, love, success, a life more than enough, a life larger than life itself. all we have to do is to accept it...by faith :)

never feel sad or lonely when ure down or when things go wrong, God is there to give u a miracle. =) im glad christmas is coming...indeed its not jus abt frens, presents, its to remember e day e Savior of e world was born. its abt e birthday of someone who will never let u down, some one who can turn ur life upside down and make it an adventure. Christmas is nv christmas without "christ". XD each time God is willing to give us an encounter, a chance to be who you are made to be, a chance to be a world shaker and a history maker, DUN LET GO, or u might miss it. God doesnt force...if ure unwilling, He wont force u...jus dont let something good go esp when u noe tt ur life will never be e same again. :)

-If you rely on man and the world, you will get what man is capable of doing. But if you rely on God, u can get what God is capable of doing. If God can create e universe out of nothing, God can create a universe of dreams and visions in you, a universe of blessings and supernatural breakthrough and success, that man is incapable of. =)

It been awhile...ok, mebbe longer than that...haha

sch's been okay this week. joined softball for S&W. n durin e first training, ive been appointed as team captain. well, if God wants to raise me up, why not..? hee :D with great authority comes great responsibility.

lessons been fun, interesting. its harder to fall asleep now...haha. e lecturers are good, really bring e subject to life. =)

well, this sat's officially my last cg meeting in E110. well, im not supposed to know me new cg till this sat, but sth farnie happened. i received my tithe receipt for dec. via my email. i opened it and on e top was written this: "Lee Kian Beng Andrew (W318)". i was like whoa, this could be it...haha. new cg? hmm....haha XD 00ps :P

well, this sun havin Sy Rogers as guest speaker. He's gonna speak on gays, les, homo and trans. LOL...i believe its gonna be farnie and interesting, yet impactful. =) yup...

and of course, CHRISTMAS IS COMING! woohoo! haha...so excited. service with drama, performances, etc. at e indoor stadium. and e performance on Orchard Road by our very own "Strikeforce" along with other performances. this month is gonna be cool!...:) yea.

my first combined zone cel grp mtg cum service

well, this entry was supposed to be typed yesterdae but AS USUAL, sth cropped up with blogspot and my whole entry was AMAZINGLY published EMPTY!...oh well

basically yesterdae was great, we had anointed drama, song my a group, and a solo sang by a sister, which impacted me the most. one of e sisters also shared her testimony, man it was soooo great and anointed, it felt as if it was God who was talkin...indeed e presence of God was very strong as there were also many new frens...of which 3 received salvation on tt dae. im oso glad joelyn and charlene came, its been so long since we last saw each other. =)

it was durin e cel grp meetin, which was more of like a service..., tt God really renewed my love for Him. i jus cant help each everytime, God's love is so amazing and strong. even e moment i stepped into e auditorium, man i almost wept, which eventually, i admit, i did durin praise n worship. i mean if God wants to touch me Ill just let Him...:D after all, He saved me..hee =) well, He saved basically e whole world, its only whether they want to acknowledge or not...yup...:D
well, i sae e combined zone cel grp meeting is more like a service becos well, even for comb cg meeting, we had to actualli queue! and its my first experience :) and e whole audi, man, it was packed even to e stairs...man i simply cant imagine how it would look like if 10000 ppl were in 1

auditorium...a zone cg meeting is already huge, let alone 1 service out of 6 services...man...lol
finally ive bought all my textbooks for sem2...still have to buy e tshirt for S&W...diao...waste of money...lol and 1 textbook, microsoft office, is thicker than my amaths textbk and we only use it like lesee than 1 sem and it costs like $30++ ONLY!..man...*cryz* *scratches blackboard* well, it looks like im gonna be reformatting my lappy again...e 4th time in 1 month!...cos of e partition drives for linux...etc...sobsob

Semester2 starts...not now...few days ago!

well, sch's been pretty slack and well, boring i shld sae. tom mus buy all my txtbks which costs around $56, i heard. but nevertheless, e topics in this sem are interesting. thank God for good lecturers/mentors, i feel im able to concentrate more and absorb more now, cos i really find e new lecturers being able to bring life to a certain topic. :D

well, for my S&W, im went into softball...quite fun i feel, reminds me of sec sch daes. haha, but its not jus bcos of tt, i feel its sth new tt i can learn and improve on...yup :D on e other hand...,man it feels like typin a structured qn,...oral comm's tough. being able to come up with a 3min speech in 1-2min timeframe, given a certain tough topic like a newspaper article like, e PM's opinion of sg youths havin a "bo-chap" attitude, so on...

well, finally im so happy tt ive finally installed my office, antivirus, macromedia n jcreator. but still i have left, the j2se file for my java compilation. im able to access e ict network but i couldnt, no..more like i dunno which setup to dl, there's like 5 different setup files...! LOL XD well, looks like i have to ask my lecturers/mentors...=) hee

couldnt make it for bs today, well, i hope i get my make up lesson soon cos its e LAST LESSON MAN!...lol

tom, got combined Zone Cel Grp Meetin at main audi, man im so excited, havin e whole auditorium for a comb. zone cg meetin...its like...if im not wrong 20 or more celgrps...okok, 20's too little, mebbe more then...haha >)

anyone out there got hl2? can lend? hee...sobsob...

Sch starts tomolo..no..wait..few hrs time..wahahaha

well, service was great todae....after service, me n my bro, along wif joel n yongren, volunteered to help out for PA (physical arangement) for e JAMS church (e mentally challenged tt is...). although i was kinda nervous, but i really thank God he pulled me thru. actualli thru this exp i came to realise tt e JAMS are a friendly bunch of ppl. :) well, i took time off frm spendin time with my cel grp at orchard to help out, and im glad i did...XD

actalli i helped out frm 2.45 to 4.30pm. after tt we went to yong ren's hostel at nearby NTU. played raw vs smackdown on ps2 n NFSU2 on his com. man, e hostel's a nice place...own room, canteen downstairs...get to mix around...etc.

at night at 7.30pm went for evangelyn's graduation service...man, it was a great time of celebration...really felt e joy tt my cel grp leader (cgl) felt. man, i feel im ready for SOT (sch. of theology)...haha, no la, but i really want to go. mebbe after my ns or uni...:) had supper at e opp kopitiam...lol jus reached home...:)

well, BS resumes this wk...yea, finally can complete my last "Christian Lifestyle" lesson n move on to "Laying Foundation" then "Victorious Living" and finally, "Going on to Perfection"! :) whoohoo...1 yr? can one...haha...i hope...lol :P actualli not bad la, i completed CIC (church introductory class) and GS (Getting Started) in 1 yr....praise God! :D this thurs oso got combined zone cel grp meeting in e main audi...so exciting, nv had one b4...haha

lets hope i wake up on time later...haha...gtg sch n install all my softwares...boohoohoo...:P so many things to do to my lappy tom...i think my lappy's gonna blow...muahahaha...okok, mebbe im too tired...lol. well, QT here i come! yea...XD

sch starting...so? no feelings...haha

its been awhile...2 days...! blogspot cropped up again....lost my links n my tagboard...sobsob. had a great time e last 2 daes...on thurs, my cg went to see Peng off...he's goin to thailand for training. reached e airport abt 8pm...had great fellowship till 11pm. his flight was, if im not wrong, 2/3am....cant rem...haha but he'll b back in 3 wks time...so happy. on e way home had an "adventure" if i could put it tt way...it was past midnight n i was still on e train on my way home. e train kept on stopping due to glitches and all tt...

man i tot it was e last train...but thank God, we were told to alight at city hall and wait for e last train, so it was kinda...phew...lol reached home abt 12.50am.

yesterdae went with shin and felicia to waYne's hse. well, shin n i had quite a hard time searching for e materials we needed cos we were makin a banner for evan's grad service tom. :) wanna surprise her...hee :D thank God we got it and we made it to wayne's hse where he was giving BS to quincy. interestingly we completed in like only 30min! yea, praise e lord! =) so after tt we watched tv...blablabla, saw a human cannon...lol den had dinner at ChompChomp. mmm...barb stingray, kangkong, la-la...spicy n delicious...yum!

very farnie, we met this friendly uncle who owned e seafood stall n e stingray is soooooooooo nice. no wonder it was shown in channel u in yummy king. i can still taste it....haha mmm...ya e uncle was very friendly, gave us serviettes, chairs, extra sambal sauce n all tt, den he had this really farnie poem...dunno wad lala chao sambal, sambal chao sotong, sotong chao kangkong...etc...i was laughing, no, we were laughing...den e uncle stared at vivian cant remw ad he said haha, and even ordered drinks for us! yea XD, tts wad i call not jus a good service, but having a heart to serve...:)

tom's service is gonna b great, cant wait...no cg this week...sob nxt wk sch starts, im really excited in a sense, knowing tt e challenges are gonna b greater and e obstacles tt i'll overcome is gonna b greater too...:) yea, w/o God, my life would certainly be boring n defeated....but He's e one who gives me strength, beyond my wildest imagination and he's always there when need him. :D

Thoughts..

attended yesterdae's seminar on e 2nd part of antinomianism. i can say it really changed my life n e way i think. tt we should nv take God's grace for granted...if ur love for Him is true, then obeying His laws are automatic. there's no such thing as loving someone and not listening to him, yet at e same time, obeying what He says is not a burden, but a joy.

Faith, driven by TRUE love, brings true obedience. :) really concerned for some frens of mine. even though they may be saved, yet e most difficult part is holding on to e end and keeping e salvation and not lose it. salvation may be guaranteed e moment u believe, but ppl tend to sin again. then we become "dirty" again. salvation is not jus a one-time event, becoming more like jesus is a life-long process, becoming holy n sanctified...set apart for Jesus. if u truly love someone, u would be willing to give up everything to be with tt person. we shouldnt throw away his commandments bcos e Law is e Word, and e Word is God.

we dun take advantage of God's forgiveness...even though he forgives us out of love, yet we should never use it as a license to sin even more. many frens, even those saved have this thinking, "its ok to sin...God wont mind...anyway He has grace and forgiveness..." tts e mind of e antinomian...and its e lawless tt cant enter God's kingdom. when antinomians meet God, He will say to them: depart frm me, i never knew you...

went so see e sound ministry head after e seminar yesterdae to have e interview. im glad my training starts next yr march, although its a long way, yet i thank God i have time to prepare myself. not only bcos ill be handling e LARGEST SOUND CONSOLE in e world, yet i have to prepare myself bcos its e presence of God concerned in e sound ministry. e POWER of God travels thru an atmosphere of FAITH, but e PRESENCE of God travels thru an atmosphere of worship...i hope tt i can go all e way...:)