Gonna explode (Long post)

Maybe Im not 'destined' to celebrate any holidays or special occassion this year.

IHP in school till 530pm.
Reached home 630pm.
Practiced songs.

7pm plus.
Went to find charcoal. Supposedly at NTUC/7-11, but found some at home.

730pm. Prepared to leave.
Then told no need charcoal, no need guitar.
Took dreadful one hour journey to Bedok. (Super crowded stations heading to town)
Took dreadful bus 17 ride for around 20-30min plus waiting time.

It was 10pm. Was told to alight at 85. But saw no 85.
Ended up at an expressway next to changi general hospital. Simei Ave.
Was informed I didnt not lock the door gate :S
(Thats how tired I am)

It is 1030pm.
Realised bus 17 doesnt go to 85.

Time expected at home: 12midnight
Duration of project rotting and remaining stagnant: 4 hours.

What did I do with 4 hours? Preparation and travelling across Singapore in crowded and overpacked public transport.
What COULD I do with 4 hours? 1-2 pages/functions.

Assignment Date due: 6 days.
Assignment progress: 30%
Report date due: 18 days.
VIVA presentation ETA: 3 weeks.

As I stood at the bus stop outside changi general hospital, no one saw the tears that came down. Because it was quite dark. You have no idea how it felt. That so much time is wasted. You have no idea how it feels, to balance your life on 'expel from poly' and 'graduation'.

You have no idea, how it feels..to be in school EVERYTIME people are having fun. Being stuck with something balancing life and death, and not being able to be with the people you love.

LOL: School
Breakaway: School
Christmas friday: School
Thanksgiving: School

I know Im not a good celgrp member. I know all these while Ive been missing. Ive been 'backsliding'. Im sorry and I really hope you guys will forgive me.

Christmas without christmas, new year without new year. Is that the price to pay for education? Pretty dumb isnt it.

Im not gonna say programming is a curse anymore. Im not gonna give excuses anymore. And Im not gonna blame anyone for what happened the past few weeks, and today. The only one responsible is me, for not being smart enough, for not being more Informationally Technological enough.

If only I had passed my previous year..I wouldnt be in this state. I wouldnt have to be stuck with IHP and programming for another year. I would be in NS now, and ORDing in 2009. But I know its no use bringing back the past..God's ways are higher. Everything happens for a reason.

Every week I hang out with them..I feel I dont deserve friends like them. I really dont. I dont deserve to be a celgrp guitarist, neither do I deserve to be under a great leader. I feel as if Ive cheated everyone, taken advantage of everyone and instead of making people around me happy, Ive done the opposite...Yet God has blessed me with so much.

Why God? Why me? Im not the best person out there..God there are so many people smarter than me, more talented than me, more good looking, more rich, more popular and all that..Why would you use someone like me? Why would you bless someone like me? You blessed me with great friends and yet I failed to look after them.

Every week I meet them, I feel so guilty, for always MIA-ing. Please forgive me for not being a good steward, a good friend, a good servant.

On the way home, many people are in a celebrative mood. Either with their clicks or with their families or with their partners. Because I prepared and left for thanksgiving, I could not attend the dinner @ Fish n Co. with my parents. Only to realise that I wasted 4 hours..and instead, I just feel Ive hurt more people than I hurt myself.

Not only that, now I feel as if Ive hurt my parents. They got a free coupon for me @ Fish n Co. I really thank God for such great parents, not only have I disappointed my celgrp, Ive disappointed my parents by not going. All these while Ive been nothing but disappointments to everybody.

Almost every other night, I would cry myself to sleep. Thinking about my celgrp, thinking about my parents, thinking about people God has placed in my life. And this is how I treat them..I really dont know what to do...

Im tired. Pimples are coming out all over my face. My lips are cracking due to the lack of water, my eyes are now one red, one normal. My left eye is smaller than my right eye now. I just hope an ulcer wont break forth or a migraine.

I just wish everything would just end right now..but I know it wont. I will do my best to stand firm in this period of transition...

Short randoms

One thing I can praise God for..just now I managed to get inspired and motivated to do my project. Why? Because there are errors, and I just cant stand errors. And I cant stand incompleteness, and stagnation.

I started doing, started solving and I kinda got a 'kick' from it. Just when I wanted to 'chiong' already..I realised I had to go :( OH MAN! Now that Im in the programming mood (which is unusual), I have to do some other things. Prepare songs, going for thanksgiving, etc. NOOO! MY KAIROS MOMENT!!! LOL.

We tend to be more motivated to do the things we know rather than the things we dont know. We are naturally drawn to things we are more familiar and comfortable with. Thats why faith is needed to step out.

Just something God spoke to me about...

For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

So whats the revelation in it?

That which you talk about the most, that's where your heart is.

From the time you wake up, till the time you sleep at night. What is it that you talk about the most? For me, I must make sure I dont get too caught up with my assignment and neglect the presence of God.

A famous speaker once said,

Whatever captures your attention, captures you.

PS: I edited the previous post at 7.55pm

I shall end here with the all renowned, Shaolin Monkie Prayer Man!

Stop the music first LOL. Those with youtube accounts feel free to rate/comment. =p

Interesting Post

Server Error in '/VMS' Application.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Syntax error in INSERT INTO statement.

Description: An unhandled exception occurred during the execution of the current web request. Please review the stack trace for more information about the error and where it originated in the code.

Exception Details: System.Data.OleDb.OleDbException: Syntax error in INSERT INTO statement.

Source Error:

Line 102:
Line 103: cn.Open()
Line 104: cmd.ExecuteNonQuery()
Line 105: cn.Close()
Line 106:

Source File: C:\Inetpub\wwwroot\VMS\Volunteers.aspx.vb Line: 104

Stack Trace:

[OleDbException (0x80040e14): Syntax error in INSERT INTO statement.]
System.Data.OleDb.OleDbCommand.ExecuteCommandTextErrorHandling(Int32 hr) +41
System.Data.OleDb.OleDbCommand.ExecuteCommandTextForSingleResult(tagDBPARAMS dbParams, Object& executeResult) +174
System.Data.OleDb.OleDbCommand.ExecuteCommandText(Object& executeResult) +92
System.Data.OleDb.OleDbCommand.ExecuteCommand(CommandBehavior behavior, Object& executeResult) +65
System.Data.OleDb.OleDbCommand.ExecuteReaderInternal(CommandBehavior behavior, String method) +112
System.Data.OleDb.OleDbCommand.ExecuteNonQuery() +67
VMS.Volunteers.btnAdd_Click(Object sender, EventArgs e) in C:\Inetpub\wwwroot\VMS\Volunteers.aspx.vb:104
System.Web.UI.WebControls.Button.OnClick(EventArgs e) +108
System.Web.UI.WebControls.Button.System.Web.UI.IPostBackEventHandler.RaisePostBackEvent(String eventArgument) +57
System.Web.UI.Page.RaisePostBackEvent(IPostBackEventHandler sourceControl, String eventArgument) +18
System.Web.UI.Page.RaisePostBackEvent(NameValueCollection postData) +33
System.Web.UI.Page.ProcessRequestMain() +1292

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Version Information: Microsoft .NET Framework Version:1.1.4322.2407; ASP.NET Version:1.1.4322.2407

Haaaaaaaaaleluyah! Anyone from heaven, earth or hell knows how the heck do I solve this stupid error? O_O I did my add functions, I did my delete functions, I got no compilation error, but I still get this stupid error! OMGosh.

HOW? HOW? HOW? CALL POLICE!

Like Eric said, "Wah! Is this the language used on Mars?" Yes my friend, it is. And Im your friendly neighbourhood martian, retard: Androne Hahaha. I mean, where on earth do you get the surname Hahaha huh? Only on mars right? And only on mars do you see people crashing their heads, and doing a whole load of Shaolin Monkie Prayer Man videos. Haha.

I cant control myself. Someone...I need professional help. LOL.

Stoned, Thoughts

For the first time in a long time, Ive got nothing to blog about. Except for a few randoms that came to mind.

It takes courage to hear the truth.
It takes faith to believe the truth.
It takes decisiveness to live the truth.
It takes character (maturity) to stay in truth.

Im really thankful for leaders in my life. Sometimes things go wrong and sometimes I just dont feel like doing the things I do. Are there times I dont feel like worshipping? Of course. Are there times I dont feel like praying? Man..all the time. Are there times I dont feel like serving? Inevitably yes. But despite it..loving God is not a feeling, it is not an emotion.

You dont need to feel like loving to love.
You dont need to feel like going to church to go to church.
You dont need to feel like giving to give.
Your life is not propelled by how you feel, but by the decisions you make.

Once again, I was discipled yesterday. Its tiring, its draining, it requires me to give my entire life..to be able to serve God, to be able to come to a whole new level. Its never easy. But just like how my team leader told me, "Are you up to the challenge?"

Do you dare to go to places you've not been to?
Do you dare to do things you've not done before?
Do you dare to sacrifice even more in 2008?
Do you dare to do the impossible?
Do you dare to take bigger risks?
Do you dare to do the ridiculous and experience the miraculous?
Do you dare to be outrageous and accomplish great things for God?

Living a normal life doesnt need much faith. Because everything is predictable. But stepping into the unknown, taking initiative, taking risks, requires tremendous amount of faith and confidence. Its really encouraging to know that people rise up, not because they are skilled or equipped.

In a way, that's true, we do need a minimum requirement of some skills somewhat..but

You can have someone who's TALENTED, but ZERO anointing.
You can have someone who's HOT on the outside, but COLD on the inside.
You can have someone who loves you A LOT, but have ZERO love for the things of God!

Talented people bring excitement. But anointed people bring transformation!

The key to rising up, is not really to be better in what you do, yes we need to be better in what we do..but really, the key in rising up is to be BETTER. Period. Better in ourselves, better in our walk with God, better in anointing, better in passion, better in our attitude, better in our character, better in the heart to serve.

Its not about how GOOD you are, but its really about how DESPERATE you are.

Thanksgiving later tonight. I tell you the truth. I dont feel like going. I dont even have one second, one millisecond, one nanosecond to spare. I seriously need to finish my assignment. Im so far behind! How am I gonna be excited for the new year when its still the same RIDICULOUS semester!?!

Seriously, polytechnic curriculum is a ironic, oxymoronic, major contradiction! Christmas, but no christmas. New year, but no new year. Hmm so what holidays do polytechnics have? WONDERFUL, EXCITING, AMAZING STUDY BREAKS! oh yeah! Can you feel the power of EDUCATION? O_O

This is so stupid. One day I will be the minister of education...I make sure holidays MEAN holidays. The noob who planned the curriculum must be REALLY be a noob. He/she must have failed the english language!

Dont contradict yourself. This is dumb. Even most working people get at least half a day's off. But here we are..doing PROGRAMMING. My goodness! Of all things..programming! Can you believe it? Its like asking a man to have menstruation! Seriously retarded. Hahaha..okay I have no idea what Im talking about.

People are singing Old Lang Sai...OOPS...I mean...Auld Lang Syne. And what am I singing? Well..this!?!

Dim cn As New MOEHackConnection
Dim cmd As New MOEDBCommandOverwrite ("INSERT INTO Brain (Commonsense) VALUES ("' & txtCommonsense.Text & '")", cn)

I think I might even have a syntax error above. O_O Yeah, now you know I cant program for nuts. I can only program for fruits. OKAY..that did not make any sense. Yes, I dont make cents, I make dollars.

Omedetou gozaimasu! Watashi no namae wa...BAKA desu! LOL.

2008

2008 will be a year of change!

Service, Notes

Triple Encounters

First of all, I have so many things to thank God for.

I wanna thank God for great parents. Sometimes you wonder why they do the things they do, and you really have consider that perhaps they were brought up that way, and thats how they were taught.

Not everyone is as fortunate as us and I really thank God for great pastors, friends and leaders in my life. I mean, in the generation we live in, things change pretty fast, we learn to encourage, we learn to build up each other, we learn to love and to express our emotions.

In the past we were taught to fear, now we are taught to step out and take the step of faith!

Thank God I dont get angry for more than 30 minutes to an hour lol. And God really moved greatly last night. I had to let it out. Because if I dont, I dont know what will happen. And so, desperately, I messaged Adam a whole load of crap I must say, as well as some things that I shouldnt.

And just now adam was telling me, "You know why I didnt reply? Because I felt God telling me 'now is not the time'". What's amazing is that..at that same moment, I was alone, locked up, and crying in my room, cried until I fell asleep.

I didnt know what God was telling Adam. I didnt get a reply from him, I was expecting him to call me up straight away or something, at least a reply. But whole night, no reply, I said many mean things. But still no reply.

And finally God showed up. And He talked to me personally and I just poured my heart out. I needed someone to talk to, I needed a shoulder to lean on, I needed a friend by my side. I was giving up, I was breaking down, I was losing all hope, losing all faith, losing everything, it felt like death.

And right there and then, I encountered God. And I dozed off soundly, with tears flowing my face, this time, tears of joy, tears of gratitude, tears of repentance, tears of longing. Even as I knelt down on my bed, I was hot all over my face. My knees shook and my hands trembled. I cried out from the depth of my being..

I was no longer angry at my parents, I was angry at the devil. I was no longer depressed, I was hungry. And God came to my rescue. When all else fails, God never fails.

I was expecting my mum to scold me too, but by the grace of God, I was kinda surprised she didnt. She became God to me, endured my nonsense, saw through my pain and spoke right into my life. Most people see anger as hatred, but anger is really hurt, anger is disappointment.

You are angry, not because you hate someone, you are angry is because you LOVE someone, but some things happen and you feel your love, your efforts have been in vain, have been 'disappointed'.

This morning I had another encounter. Thats twice in a row. And just now during service, THREE TIMES! THREE ENCOUNTERS in 2 days! Praise God for that! The second encounter this morning, is linked to what happened to me during service.

I was in my room as usual, and I was under the fig tree. (For those who attended Dr. John Avanzini, you'll know about the fig tree). And right there and then, under the fig tree, as I looked through and counted, tears came down..

God, I have been sacrificing, God, I have been loving, I have been serving..Ive done so many things, God, I really done my best..Why..? Why..? Why..? God dont ever leave me, I cant live one day without Your presence..

Without You I can do nothing, God..take this broken vessel and use it to make Your name great, use it to bless others, and to fulfill your purpose!

And during service, Ps Derek gave a word and that word HIT me, straight into my inner most depths!

Andrew, you have been sowing, you have been sacrificing, but you say, where is your breakthrough, you are tired, you are worn out, yet you remain strong and commited. You have been through a lot, yet you still smiled and remained strong. When others strayed away, you chose to walk the narrow way, when others have given up, you chose to keep on walking the narrow way. Take heart, your breakthrough is coming, keep on giving, keep on loving, keep on pressing on, because GREAT IS THEIR REWARD for those who endure to the end!

I stood there, my hands and knees trembled. Tears were flowing down like rivers, fire of God was all over me, I felt like I could fall any moment. Im hoping they put up the service video cus Im gonna record it down! It was a direct word for me.

It was exactly what I encountered at home. And right there and then, I was lost in the presence of God. The sermon was great too. I have made that CHOICE to change. Have you?

My life has changed, has yours? I love God more today than yesterday, I have more encounters this week than last week? Have you broken through? Or are you still the same?


Just a few short sermon notes:

Change in direction > Change in action > Change in destiny
Life is one CONTINUOUS change!

Salvation is not a one time event! Dont think you've arrived just because you pray, dont think you've arrived just because you go to church and read the word! You have been saved, you are being saved, you are going to be saved.

Redemption > Sanctification > Glorification

To repent is to RE-PENT.
"Re": To go back to
"Pent": The highest place; The highest level of thinking. (Thats where you get the word, 'PENT-house', etc.)

You need change to grow! Change is necessary for progress!

Process of change:

1. DECISION
2. DEDICATION/DEVOTION
3. DISCIPLINE

It takes COURAGE to hear the truth!

Reasons why people dont change:

1. PRIDE - e.g. "Im okay! Not my fault whaaat! Nothing's wrong with me..", etc.
2. FEAR
3. REBELLION - living in denial, "Huh? I dont need to change what, THEY need to change", etc.
4. LAZINESS
5. IGNORANCE - "I didnt know I need to change", etc.

Fools wont change! Deadmen cant change!

When change is necessary, not to change is destructive. - Dr A.R. Bernard

Prov 1:20-24, 5

There are 4 groups of people:

1. The simpletons. (All of us start out as novices)
2. Fools. (If you choose not to change, you'll end up as a fool)
3. Scorner. (As a fool, you attract/hang out with MORE fools! And the gathering of fools end up being scorners. Always critical, judgemental and cynical!)

4. The wisemen. (The hear the voice of wisdom, they are open to instruction, open to criticism and they make quick decisions to change).

He who wins souls is wise; He who wins FRIENDS is wise.
On the contrary, he who loses friends is a fool.
(Everyone dislikes you, everyone hates you, nobody wants to hang out with you, nobody wants to talk to you, etc)

(You dont need to be a rocket scientist to figure that out do you?)

You dont have to wait UNTIL there's a crisis for you to change. Make the decision to change the moment you hear the voice of wisdom! Dont wait until you're FORCED to change!

Either you lead the change, or the change leads you.

If you wait until the change leads you, then dont complain when it brings you to places you dont want to go.

Your ability to LEAD that change, will determine your success in life.


Video 21 uploaded! And random thoughts.

I wont post the video here, I think this post is long enough haha. Just click on my youtube link to the right of the page =)

After service went bedok int to makan and fellowship. Me, Elaine, Thomas, Thad and later Timo, we chatted initially about some hot topics (Girl vs Boy issues) then we sidetracked automatically to talk about the type of people you reach out to, what are your views on this and that, etc. It was really fun and fruitful.

I dont really like a rahrah environment. I dont know, its just me lol. Im not a rahrah person. Id love to hang out with people who share about God, their encounters or issues of life. I like talking about deep, practical and spiritual things.

Because no one turns me on more..than God! hahaha.

I mean..I dont mind a little bit of rahrah, but it doesnt draw me as much LOL.

Time for Auld Lang Syne? Nope. Time for asp.net.vb O_O.

Tomorrow doing stage! Waaaaah! :O

Dream killers

How evil is the devil?

Evil enough to do all these:

1. Kill your dreams
2. Kill your hopes
3. Kill your faith
4. Kill your confidence
5. Kill your peace and joy
6. Kill your relationships

With just one stupid sentence from someone close to you.

6 deaths. The power of 666. Ultimate death. All in one blink of an eye. Everything dies. Dont think it will never happen to you. You are at the most vulnerable when you are at your weakest. And I am at my weakest. I am at my lowest.

He doesnt need to throw you across the room, he doesnt need to make you fall sick, He doesnt need to cause harm to you, all he needs is to send some words powerful enough to cause total death. And you end up wanting to give up all, you end up hurting yourself, you end up hurting others, you end up bringing death to everything and everyone around you, and ultimately, by doing so, he knows that you'll end up killing yourself.

Murder is not just what you do.
Murder is what you say.

Internet Joke

Taken from www.w3schools.com

Customer: "I want to download the internet. Do I need a bigger hard disk?"

Download the internet here.

Hahaha! ROFLMAOLOL!

Picture, Nitro

Late night programming syndrome LOL!

The song is by Nitro: The fastest, the loudest, the highest, the best. Sick 80s metal band. With the most hardcore drummer, the vocal legend Jim Gillette (able to sing 6 octaves, and sing polyphonically, that is, to sing 2 notes at the same time, he can also shatter glass with his voice), sick bassist too, and my all time favourite, fastest guitar shredder, Michael Angelo Batio haha.

Videos can be found on youtube. =)



This video features Jim singing an insane 30 second scream! (Its just the song) Gosh. LOL. I wish I could play guitar like that and sing the 'demonic harmonics' haha..

Why do I blog? Happenings.

Hmm. Since Im rather free at the moment, I decided to blog something totally unexpected and random. Haha..just for fun.

Why do I blog? Now that's a rather interesting to ask. Why do I blog more than others and am I really a bloggermaniac? :D

Well. I dont think Ive ever blogged 'Why do I blog' before haha so here goes...

1. I blog because I believe all of us have a conscious and subconscious personality.

All of us have a primary personality and a 'blended' personality. A personality that is genuine, and a personality that changes with surroundings, people, and circumstances. I must pretty say both my primary and blended personalities are similar. The only difference is that in real life, Im not that expressive..yet..haha.

If I manage to master myself one day..Devil better beware..dont think Ill go easy on you. LOL. Maybe even one or two wont like me haha. I like Pow Wee, I like him for being direct and yet in a loving way. I wanna be like that haha.

But I know I may not, because I cant be like him, I can only be myself.

2. I blog because its my passion and interest.

Yes, I admit im not as 'hardcore' as last time, when I would go for 6 services in Jurong West and blog the notes for EVERY service, EVERY week. LOL. (*6 svces on guest speaker weekends).

I love blogging down sermon notes, well..Im not as 'hardcore' as last time. A dream becomes a vision when you write it down. And studies have proven that we remember things better when we write down instead of listening. Visuals help too and blogging to me, is a form of a visual component.

Man..even my punctuation and spelling and case-sensitivity have been 'sharpened' haha. I dont know..maybe I feel it's time to bring my blog to another level. Haha. Cannot always use improper english, lousy punctuation and slangs all the time.

3. I blog because my relationship with God is great and exciting!

This is the primary reason why I blog! Woohoo! hahaha. Most of the time, I blog my revelations, my quiet time, my encounters and how my situation can look ugly BUT GOD turned things around. We shall overcome the devil by the word of our testimony! Yeah!

I blog because I HAVE things to blog about. At the same time, it gives people the opportunity to get to know me better, for who I really am. I mean, if you really love someone, you would talk all day, all night about Him.

You should have something to blog about everyday. Life with God shouldnt be dull and boring! Im sure there's a rhema everyday, Im sure theres something to thank God for everyday, Im sure you have encounters with God at least ONCE a week.

If you're not..then maybe its time to do a little reflection. Even in my darkest moments, God is still there for me, He's still speaking to me, through people around me, through criticisms, through common grace.

Thats why in every situation, I look for God.
In every person, in every 'criticiser' (if there's such a word), I look for God.

How you treat people is how you treat God.
How you talk to people is how you talk to God.
How you think of people is how you think of God.

As far as you did it to one of these my brethren, you did it unto Me.

God is everywhere, yes..its only whether you're desperate enough to find Him. What makes my life different? I dont just love God, im IN LOVE with God. You can love Him, but your relationship with Him is so 'normal'.

Im infatuated with God, Im addicted to God, Im crazily, madly, deeply obsessed with God. Thats why I commit the way I do, thats why I give the way I do, thats why I seek Him the way I do.

Worship without passion is like incense without fire; its just mere dust!

Same with a love relationship.

Religion tells you how to live your life.
But a relationship gives you the experience of living THAT life!

Rhonda come over to my place just now to practice guitar. Its so amazing to be able to teach her 2 songs and she played it! =O *YAY! Clapclap! Hahahaha! =DD

Im not really a good teacher, and, I mean..its impossible for me to teach someone to be able to play 2 songs in just 2 hours..its God working in me. haha. :DD

Playing 'spirit-mode' with my bro was just awesome. He played the chorus of Thank You on the acoustic, I played it in melodies. I wish I could combine with my bro at Rhonda's Cg meeting tmr, haha..initially I could go..but as I looked at my project status..Hmm..=/

Chatted a bit with Sharon just now..man I miss her haha. Too bad we arent in the same cg anymore. She has such a lovely smile and such an attractive personality. Glad you're back in sg, haha..hope you've had a wonderful christmas!

Thanksgiving celgrp on Monday. Ill just go for the BBQ and will probably leave after that. Its so sickeningly sad and pathetic..Christmas, Im programming, New year's eve, im programming. Gosh..when will this end?

I hope some aliens invade the earth and steal all our technology and perhaps even replace them with advanced A.I. and cybernetic organisms...O_O

Update, Randomness

Hmm Im seeing my hit counter going up really fast and its 'stress' to see it go up without posting anything HAHAHA! =p

So here's a short update to whoever's viewing.

Went to Joshua's house last night. Finally i finished my login. :S 4 more pages to go. one more week to go. I just cant study at home, I just cant do work at home. I really need to get out, go to people's house, or even sit outside somewhere and do my thing.

Anyone wanna open up their house to me? hahaha.

Just wanna sidetrack for abit. Ps really said things well..you can have great dreams, but yet, your dream is from your flesh! Your dream, your relationship, your career, can be good ideas, yet not God ideas!

You never inquire from God, you didnt pray about it, you didnt fast for it, you didnt dedicate it to God, etc. You still pursue those dreams, you still pursue those relationships, and when things happen, you crumble! You longed for a career, you longed for a relationship, you longed for that breakthrough, but when it comes, you CANT COMMIT, you CANT ACCEPT it!

Dont be a hypocrite.

Unless God moves, and builds His house, he who labour WILL labour in vain.

It says that heaven and earth will pass away but His word will never pass away. Likewise, unless a career, a relationship, a job, a dream is BUILT on the rhema, it wont last. Dont blame God when your job collapses..dont blame God when your partner has issues with you or the other way round..dont blame God when bad things happen.

Your circumstances will only change to the extent YOU are changed.

God gave you His word. He gave you directions how to live. And you can choose not to obey, you can choose to do what YOU want, what YOU like. The world is full of soap, but there are still dirty people. The world has over abundance of food, but there are still hungry people. The road can have signs and traffic lights, but there are still road accidents.

Bad things happen when rules are broken.

Take ownership, be responsible.

Worship is not putting God first, worship is putting God ONLY.

So many things to do, so many things happening..Meeting Josh again later.

I'll trust in You..

Transition, Personal greetings

Today's drama was the best indeed. Haha I think they combined both Jurong West's drama with the Expo's drama.

Starhub CableTV Channel 31, 26 Dec Midnight! =) haha i memorized. :D

Went home with Timo, Elaine, her cousin, kaixia(caixia, hmm how do u spell? haha), and baby! lol. he fell asleep on the train! :DD haha. kawaii.

I myself dozed off too. And oh, just now was having makan with adam. I bought the home made burger from my fav stall, and the uncle gave me a free egg mayo sandwich! =DD Its really good to be blessed. He was packing the stall and I think they were clearing.

Just when you're feeling down and worn out, God comes in. Like a loving daddy. When we were sad in our younger days, our parents would buy us lollipops, when we are down as older people..in the eyes of God, we are still kids, we are still His children.

Never think you're alone. Never think that when you're sad, no one sees. Because God sees. And just like how He brought a smile to my face by blessing me with a free sandwich, God will certainly be there for you to bring a smile to your face.

Ill never forget that incident with the 3 angels. And indeed, the angels are there to serve us and to bring down our prayer requests. If God can send 3 angels to cheer me up that night, more than half a year ago, is there any problem that He cannot solve?

I sent some friendster greetings to some of you. I took one hour to type all out haha. I sent to quite a few, each greeting was for the individual. :D

This song on my blog, is for all of us...there is power in the rhema! =D

AS ONE!

This post is not for the nominal person!

Everyone must be unwrapping their presents now lol. I can say Ive only had one present haha. The cool Bleach anime toy i got =D haha thanks! i love collecting toys..before i moved house. haha..just that for now, i hardly have time to go collect em. I have one shelf of stuffed toys and a cupboard in my room of my childhood toys..well some of em..lol.

and to get a BLEACH toy! omg. its so cool. mebbe ill start my own bleach collection haha. if i have the time =/ anyways, so what if its the only gift I got. The greatest gift of all, is God. Another great gift is my beloved celgrp. These people are truly my family. =)

The greatest gift you can get is not a thing, but a person. And God has blessed me with so much this year. as i look back, what a year its been, for me, thad and tim, haha you all can agree right? =D periods of transition haha.

This year has really stretched me alot. and i mean ALOT. and what ps really said was something that I personally lived by. your life will never change unless YOU change.

God will never change your circumstances to fit you.
God will only change YOU to fit your circumstances.

Went service today with pam, elaine and her friend, met timo shortly after svc. met a friend with wings also LOL. anyway, elaine's friend responded, congrats. after svc went to friend's house with mum to celebrate xmas. i left after the dinner though..as the reality of my project sank in..

oh ya, met up with Josh also. He managed to help me solve one of the problems before rushing to expo for service. and immediately after one problem comes another. haha. GOSH. its never-ending!!!

during service had a short but fruitful chat with the parents of the twins who are graduating from CCH and joining our celgrp..did i get that info correct pam? haha. i din get to know his name :S but yea..i was just filled with respect for him.

The older people should learn from the passion of the youth.
The youth should learn from the fervency of the older people.

True huh? :D

Anyway, I decided to upload a different song.

(PS: you might wanna increase e volume, if there are slight fluctuations at e starting, its not me, its e sound guy who did webcast? haha.)

I remembered that service when ps showed us the video of Ps phil laying hands on him and giving him a word of prophecy. It really moved me..i remembered feeling e power of God all over me even as I sat there..

and similarly during my QT just now, i was watching this service again..and towards e end, the power of God came into my room. I wanna capture it so that when im feeling down and out, i can always look back to God.

and its always good to look at where we came from..the words that God spoke to us. the rededication and recommitting of our lives back to God. This particular track is pretty long. around 20minutes plus..but to me, its worth it.

all of us need e presence of God, all of us need e power of God..we need to encounter God every single day! every single day, we need a fresh rhema! life is not just about yourself! life is about God, about the people around you!

so what if this year's been rough for you!?! so what if this year didnt go your way!?! does that give you the excuse to give up on your dream!?! He went to the Cross, He STAYED on the cross. He overcome the world! Why cant you! Furthermore He lives in you!

Unless your entire life is surrendered to God, He is not your Lord! I wanna do what I want: Your hands have not been surrendered! I wanna say what I want, I dont care, I wanna say what I want: YOUR MOUTH HAS NOT BEEN SURRENDERED TO GOD!

Your life sucks because the words you say create the FRAME of a sucky world!

As long as YOU sit on the throne of your life, you are not going to go anywhere. As long as YOU sit on the throne of your life, you'll never fulfill your fullest potential! You'll never accomplish anything great!

Do what God would do!
Think what God would think!
Say what God would say!
Feel how God would feel!
See what God would see!

If He is not your Lord of all, He is not your Lord at all!
Either you're hot or you're cold!
Either you love Him wholeheartedly or you dont love Him at all!

He gave you His all..DONT GIVE HIM HALF-HEARTED PRAISE, DONT GIVE HIM HALF-HEARTED WORSHIP, AFTER ALL HE HAS GIVEN TO YOU, DONT YOU DARE GIVE HIM SOMETHING SHORT OF WHAT HE DESERVES!

DONT GIVE HIM HALF OF YOUR LIFE!

GIVE HIM YOUR ALL, IN EXCHANGE FOR HIS ALL!

Dont be normal! Step out! Cross the unknown!

Be serious with God. Dont play games with Him.

Woohoo..tmr is christmas finale service! After that..its project rush! =O

Random pics, Christmas Service

NANI!?!

caught with food in my mouth LOL

round 2 lol

What else can I do? hahaha

Lychee martini, 2 glasses for the price of one! haha.

background spoiler. (credits to PC).

Service was good. I think the drama production was awesome. FUTURISTIC ACOUSTIC KARAOKE ENTERTAINMENT system, also known as the FAKE system! hahahaha..then the speakers blow LOL! damn funny man hahaha. every yr it just keeps getting better lol. :D

had dinner at the 'ulu' kopitiam near bedok court. budget cai-peng. haha. the sweet sour pork really rocks. must try e noodles someday.

I hope you like your gift SeeLZ haha. i think thats a really cool name. Im finally able to get help on monday. Gonna bring my laptop to jurong west church lol.

tired and stressed. today got 21 people. makan that time took up 4 tables. LOL. really got lots of 'work' to do. =O

like ps preached last wk...u pray for revival, when it finally hits you, ure not ready to handle it. and in a sense, we werent equipped to settle 21 people at the kopitiam, lol..we wondered here and there trying to get FOUR tables together! haa.

Queenie today high man..on the train lol. I stand beside her I feel so threatened..LOL..jus kidding haha. Then stella and her friend..even better..talk about my 'market value' hahahaha..whatever la. so paiseh i tell u..lol.

oh oh oh..karwen's playing Seal! haha.

Lousy day

so many things going wrong. today just wasted another 10-20 bucks. sigh..guess ill just have to give away. SO MANY. i dont blame e person who bought for me really..i really dont know whats happening..

christmas evangelism, presents, IHP, and now i remember..building fund! i seriously dont know how im gonna survive. everything just went wrong. Dr John really preached solid. Dont let your pledges HANG and float around. The moment you can pay them off, then DO IT!

on the other hand..im sure there are people out there who are willing to spend 5-10 bucks on certain things. please, if you dont even want your 2 dollar notes, you can give me. im even going to the extent of collecting my coins.

yet there are people who wanna buy things here and there. buy already use for how long? come on, where ur treasure is, there ur heart will be.

its not putting your heart FIRST, then investing your treasure.
its putting your treasure FIRST, THEN ur heart will follow.
God doesnt do bargaining.

Your heart follows your money, not your money follow ur heart!

Decide this day whom you will follow. Either you love God or you love money. You cant choose both. Either you surrender all, or you dont surrender at all. If He is not your lord of ALL, He is not your Lord at all.

A person cannot be double minded. He will be unstable in ALL his/her ways. You can be nice, next moment you can be mean. You can be sweet, next you can be irritating.

Sometimes people can give 'comments' abt e way we behave. about e way YOU behave.

God will NEVER change your circumstances to fit you, YOU must change to fit your circumstances.

I know for as long as I live, i cant escape from programming. At least for now. You cant always hope things will change, some things DONT change. You cant always depend on people to come to you, you have to STEP OUT!

And sometimes we gotta accept e fact that there are people who will never say anything nice to you! Dont pray that they will say nice things..pray that YOU CHANGE to give them a nice impression!

Stop looking at things all around you all the time, and every single day you're going through the same old thing. Why? People around you change, life changes, circumstances change, but YOU never change!

You want change? THEN MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!

You are not a prince or a princess..you dont tell God what to do and what not to do! Neither do you tell OTHERS what to do. I may not always go against someone, but i will always make my stand FIRM and STRONG!

And stop all those childish things like he deserve it, she deserve it. NONE OF US DESERVE EVEN TO LIVE! If not for Jesus Christ.

Man..im on fire..WHY? Its because someone lighted me on fire! Okay, What a lame and obvious answer..RIGHT? lol.

Today is a lousy day. Still no progress...

Presents

Blocked.

Sealonline! Woohoo!

To all SG gamers, add me Androne in Seal Online! hahaha!

http://www.sealonline.com

installation file: 600MB
game file: 1.5GB

my bro downloaded for like 40min onto his psp..then i just plug USB and install. LOL! okay, this game is not AS fun and addicting as ROSE Online, but i love exploring and doing adventures in new games haha. bought the present for my 'mortal' lol..

well..buying it is just one thing..ill prob spend e night 'doing' and 'making' e gift haha.

MORE PROGRAMMING! MORE PROGRAMMING!

I have become a PROGRAM myself i tell you! lol. sheesh.

and oh, i saw hitman: blood money (ORIGINAL) for only 19 bucks! hahaha..i think everyone chionged when it first came out...buying for like 50-60 bucks..now the price drop like water! LOL. GG...

Video

http://media.cityharvest.tv/asx/071215/1000E.asx

Yeah, the video is out. lol.

This is prob one of e best services ever on tradition - transition - transformation. The power of words and vocabulary, and the receiving of responsibility.

Dread, Update, God

What a tiring week. Rushing like crazy and yet not being able to find people to help. Well, I CAN find people but busy people. They have work. And from 9-5 im 'confined'. So even if i manage to find people to help, im not able to RECEIVE the help..

To cut the long story short..someone came to my house last night..wanted to burn some stuff. End up wasting 2hours of my time. He left at 12.20am. Before that had dinner with family to celebrate dad's bdae. So practically speaking, the whole of last night I didnt touch my project at all.

I really wish some people would just die and disappear from the world, seriously. I cant take it anymore. Why did I choose to go through all these? Its because nobody else would. Why am I so stubborn when it comes to helping people? Because I cant help it, Jesus would do the same.

The only difference is that He wasnt in lack, He had no sin, and He didnt have to struggle with programming assignments. Everytime I try to be more like Him, the more impossible it seems with my own strength..

Christmas is coming..another heavy burden. 2 friends to reach out. And later have to go buy present which I dread doing. Cause it will waste probably at least another 2 hours of my time. I already told Thad I wont be at the christmas party...

Guess merry christmas in advance to all of you. I think i wont be experiencing christmas this year. Itll just be another public holiday filled with crazy people and crazy assignments..

Ive never had a proper christmas for 2 years now. Yeah go and do all your shopping and gift giving and singing carols and opening presents..last and year and in a few days time, ill be doing the same thing..staring at ASP.NET codes.

Yes, a programmer has no life. So if ure dreaming to become one, then forget it. Let me be your dream killer. PROGRAMMING IS A CURSE!

Guess it wont make any difference whatsoever...Im so lonely, worn out and tired, with nobody walking beside me other than God...I really dont feel like going out to buy the present. I deeply apologise if u are offended. But would anyone rather be in my position?

Just live my life for one day, and you'll understand EVERYTHING I go through. Yes, one day is enough, because everyday is the same..

Same problems, same people. I hang with people no one else would hang with, I endure torture no one else would endure, i do things no one else even dreamed possible..

same sleepless and teary nights..im crying almost every single day, with no shoulder to lean on, hugging my bolster to sleep wishing someone would be there to share my joy, someone there to share my sorrows..

this chorus is the cry of my heart..

You're my Healer - Planetshakers

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

My Healer, You're my Healer

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hand

Random, Anonymous, Pow Wee

Im in school now. Jus had lunch in the canteen. Its feels so different when the canteen is empty..and i really love rainy days. It feels really cosy. The canteen is literally empty cus now its the term break..and here I am..in school doing programming, or at least struggling to do programming..

I was on the train just now and I saw many people, travelling with their families, friends, going christmas shopping, even my bro has a xmas break from work. But i was sitting there, with a bag, not full of xmas presents, but with my laptop going to school..

To anonymous, whoever you are..i really appreciate you for commenting. Its very sad to see 0 comments in every post i make. Sometimes i really wonder if there are even people reading my blog, of course for those who interact, i know who often visits..

but judging from my hit count, there are also people who silently visit. and i have a feeling many of them i do not know..lol. anyway, just wanna say that..as i read your comments..i dont know how you find my blog, i dont know who you are and i dont know your motives or how you come across this blog at all..

but as i read ur comments God began to speak to me. honestly, its been tiring, dry at some times, and it gets all lonely here when everyone has their own problems and they're busy to even talk to you..

but its always good to reflect..really, what have you been doing? is there even something worth mentioning in your life? when people look at you, what do they see? do they even notice something about you?

its been awhile since anyone has challenged me like that..sometimes we get tired and weary, but all it takes is for God to send someone into your life to give you a little push. i was so blessed and encouraged.

i really like talking about the things of God..those whom im close to are all people who talk about God. you can talk to me abt movies, or even gaming, but nothing beats talking about the one who created you, the one who died for you..

Anonymous is like a big brother to me, someone ive come to look up to. he/she reminds me of pow wee. you might disagree, but pow is a straightforward person. and i like straightforward people. (straightforward in a loving way).

if not for pow, i wouldnt be able to sit in front of 10-14 people and play for cg. if not for pow, i wouldnt have had the guts and the confidence to be who i am. even though you might be in camp, but i just wanna say that you have made a difference in my life. he was the one who helped me grow, he was the one, who picked me up when i was down and changed me when i was wrong.

whoever marries you is a really blessed girl..haha. seriously. i mean, where do you find such a good brother who helps you to be better, stronger and more mature? amidst my cgls, evan, wayne and adam..

to me..pow is a leader. those of you who know him better treasure him lol.

when i was walking to school, i was thinking abt what anonymous said..really God is moving and i dont wanna be left behind. when i heard during Emerge Conference how 13-15 year olds can become celgrp leaders in Heart of God Church, it really makes me feel im really lagging..and OLD! hahaha..no hard feelings :D

what have you been doing all this while? backsliding is not a term used only for people that draw away from God. backsliding is simply anything but progressing.

I like what ps said, the devil doesnt need to make you draw away from God. he just needs to keep you from moving forward.

God is moving, things are changing rapidly..we are living in the last days, dont be left behind.


just a little sidetrack lol..


love is not an emotion. love is not a feeling. love is a choice.

you dont love someone because you FEEL like, you dont simply love someone because you're IN love then fall OUT of love, you love someone because you WANT to. love without commitment and sacrifice is mere hypocrisy.

people change partners like changing underwear. going from one relationship after another. always in a cycle of defeat and failure. but ask yourself, do you love the PERSON, or do you love LOVE? oh you just want the thrill, you just want the excitement, but you're so afraid to commit, so afraid to press on. oh, he/she dont like me anymore, change lor. thats childish.

there are times your parents are angry with you, did they say, "oh change son lor/change daughter lor..". no right? okay, there are RARE cases when there are parents who actually say that. but put it this way, ur mum is still with ur dad right? ur dad is still with ur mum right?

if people who are much older can do it, why cant you? if people who have been through a lot can stay strong in a relationship, why cant you?

if ure not ready for commitment, just tell the person, "i love you but im sorry i need some time to adjust, im not ready for commitment yet. is it okay if we take things slowly?"

(if the person really loves you, he/she will say, "sure..why not?")

i mean..is that such a difficult thing to say? or is your ego so big that you cant even communicate properly? im sure e other party will understand, not unless he/she is immature right from the start, then i really have nothing to say.

but really, if u wanna find a partner then at LEAST find someone you can open up and talk to. i like what John's msn nick put e other time:

Relationship is nothing without the fundamental basics of friendship.

You havent even become friends and you wanna be lovers. Gosh. what is the world coming to. seriously, im not talking about anyone. i just dont like the idea of people who do "Relational-Jumping" stunts. if it applies to you, it applies. if it doesnt. then feel free to ignore lol. i see things like that all the time.

oh another thing..

ive seen it in drama/TV shows but i have no idea if ive seen this form of childishness/immaturity in real life or not..

X tells Y that X loves Y.

And Y shouts back, gives attitude, throws temper like a little baby as if the RAPTURE HAS COME! come on, do you behave the same way when God says I love you? OR..mebbe you have not even experienced God saying that to you. OR..like ps kong said, ure just emotionally shutdown. lol. at least be flattered and grateful. and slowly mention your standing and what you intend to do, in a FRIENDLY way!

so yea..one more point..if you're not friendly, then you can really forget about loving/being loved. because you will just scare everyone away!

and yes, one more thing..you can LUURRRRVE God and you can hate people. What is the cross? Loving God wholeheartedly (Vertical beam), Loving people fervently (horizontal beam).

People believe in the cross and you believe in a TOOTHPICK? (Just the vertical beam). Okay, just some random crap now..if you only love God but dont love people..you only have the vertical beam, correct?

So what do you have now? Okay, mebbe not a toothpick. But a LIGHTNING CONDUCTOR! BI LEI ZHEN! lol. Lightning will strike you LOL. But isnt it true, people who love God but dont love people, easy get 'offended', they are unhappy all the time, angry with people all the time. They always see the bad in people, and not the good in them. like ps said, they are censorious. and their face always look like BAO JING TIAN.

so yea..thats one HUGE sidetrack and randomness..lol..back to projects..=/

oh oh oh!!! do u guys prefer this font or the previous one? hahaha

Hacker Theme

New desktop theme. lol..thats a LEEEETLE extreme haha..

Videos

This is sick! lol. Its a super old video, but still sick. haha! PS: This is NOT a song! lol. Just a display of techniques and solos.

Thats a VERY rare video of MAB playing Jazz on an acoustic! Its SUUUUPER NICE! HUAT AH! lol..

This a compilation video of michael's previous album tracks. Yes these are SONGS, not solos! haha.

IHP deadline in 2 wks time :S

Updated, Ministry

*Sermon notes updated!*

Woke up at 530am today, headed down to expo to serve. Every morning my stomach sure feel uncomfortable. Was talking to a senior today, and I was telling him to go ahead first cus Ill be late. And all he replied was: "What you're saying is inconsistent..Id rather you tell me the truth than to tell me a load of crap."

Seriously, these kind of people, like ps kong said, should just SHUT UP! If you dont know what to say, then dont say it. And to trust you to be a senior. Yes, i was wrong to make such last minute changes. If nature calls, what do you expect?

You think you are mother nature? No, should i say, FATHER NATURE? Hello. Wake up your idea! I admit, it was irresponsible for me to make sudden changes..i mean, if u have to go, u have to go. Cant you even be the least flexible enough to adapt?

I even mentally prepared you, you insisted I took the cab with you. Please, if ure not willing then DONT MAKE UNNECESSARY COMMENTS. You get upset just because things happen. Trust you to be more mature than me, you looked to mature and talented in sound. Yet the moment your words came out..you disgust me.

I was sharing with someone abt it, and i was told he's like that. so IM SO RELIEVED! at least i know you are NORMAL! so that means if u can edify me or even give me a smile, then ITS A MIRACLE!

You're so full of pride and arrogance. Talk to you is as if im talking to satan! I know of 2-3 people who are simply just rude and ridiculous. Im not even gonna talk about the other people. There are those who raise their voice.

To raise your voice is to raise yourself.

I know im direct. And i WILL be even more direct in the future. You wanna live a nominal life full of yourself, full of nonsense, then id rather you not talk to me or know me.

Jesus was not afraid to call the pharisees HYPOCRITES and BROOD OF VIPERS!

I choose my friends wisely..if you wanna make so much noise..do it somewhere else. Im sure the monkeys in the zoo and the dogs in the void decks would love to hear you out. They might even cheer you on! WOOF WOOF!

You can have a pretty face. A charming masculine body. But a mouth that STINKS! and a thinking that STINKS! It stinks so bad your butt is on your head and your armpit is on your mouth!

Dont think im a shy shy sweet sweet candyboy. I can be one. But if you destroy the presence of God, the presence of faith around me, you're gonna get it. You can grief me, dont grief the presence of God with your CARELESS WORDS!

And now to think about programming..I think ill develop trojans and viruses in future instead..lol.

Service Notes, Thoughts, Long post

ZECHARIAS & ELIZABETH

Luk 1:5-7
"Zecharias" - "Worshipper"

Luk 1:11-13
Zecharias was a person of prayer; he was both spiritual and strong in prayer. Yet there was barreness in his life.

Bad things do happen to good people.
Dont be naive! Dont be simpleton!

Jam 5:16
Effective prayer that makes e power of God available, are prayer that are FOCUSED, FERVENT and SPECIFIC! (e.g. a laser)

It is these kind of prayers that will break every icy wall of doubt and unproductivity in your life!

v14-18
All of us need a dream.
Without a vision, people perish.
Your dream is a psychological necessity.

There's nothing more blind than a person with eyes but cannot see; cannot see the visions of God, cannot see his potential, cannot see his purpose, his calling, and his destiny!

The poorest man is a fallow without a dream.
The greatest tragedy is having a 10 x 12 capacity, confined to a 2 x 4 soul!

When a dream FROM God comes to pass, it will draw people!

Zecharias had faith to believe! But he had no faith to receive!

You can pray and fast for something to happen! But when it DOES happen, ure not ready to accept the commitment, the sacrifice and the responsibility that comes with it!

Whats the point of praying for revival, if ure not willing to live by example?
Whats the point of asking God to make you someone strong and mature, if ure not even willing to accept criticism? Whats the point of asking God to change your life when you're not willing to accept change?

Whats the point of asking for growth in the church and celgrp, when ure not willing to take the RISK and that step of faith, that one day, ure gonna be a cg helper? or a even a cg leader!?!

Dont be conditioned by your tradition!

Dont get used to unproductivity! Dont get used to stagnation! Dont get used to being comfortable! Dont get used to having a small celgrp, a small church and MEDIOCRE standards of living!

Dont pray for a life partner if ure not willing to commit ALL YOUR LIFE! Dont pray for a husband/wife if ure not willing to GIVE..AGAIN..AND AGAIN..AND AGAIN..AND AGAIN..ALL YOUR LIFE!!! UNCONDITIONALLY!!! EVEN IF IT MEANS YOU GETTING NOTHING IN RETURN!!!

Many people are so TRADITIONED as a bachelor/bachelorette, that they simply CANNOT move into TRANSITION into a RELATIONSHIP! You ask them to date, they're fine. You ask them to get married, no problem.

But you ask them to make a lifelong commitment, they cant accept it.

Men cant transit from being a bachelor to being a husband with ENDLESS PROVISION for his wife!

Women cant transit from being a free bachelorette into being a wife SUBMITTED to her husband!

2 cor 11:23-28

"Oh, cant we just live a normal life, with a normal family and a normal church? why must we commit so much, pray so much, fast so much, and give so much? Cant just be like everybody else?"

NORMAL CHRISTIANS DONT CHANGE THE WORLD!
NORMAL CHURCHES DONT IMPACT NATIONS!
NORMAL CELGRPS DONT SEE REVIVAL!

Dont be nominal! Be bold! Be creative! Live for God's dream!

Skills and talents get you to the top, but its CHARACTER that keeps you there!

Without TRANSITION, there can be NO TRANSFORMATION!

Life is defined by change. The only constant in life is change.

To move from tradition to transition to transformation:

One must:

1. Release the familiar
2. Take risks
3. Accept the unknown

Be flexible! It is the unknown that opens endless possibilities.
Dont just say you want to be a history maker, dont just say you want to be a person of destiny..LIVE IT! STAY COMMITTED TO IT!

Luk 1:18-20

Words have the power of life and death.
Words FRAME the boundaries of your world.

People who use the S-words, D-words or F-words have LIMITED VOCABULARY!
Their world is FRAMED so SMALL and LIMITED, they never realize their fullest potential!

They find it hard to express themselves in words.
They find it hard to communicate and establish friendships and meaningful relationships.

When the word of God comes, all of a sudden, our vocabulary increases.
It is scientifically proven that a person with a wider range of vocabulary, excel more in life.
And he/she has more connections and relations with people.

We learn of words like cultural mandate, marketplace evangelism, common grace, antinomianism, conversionists, etc.

Your vocabulary sets a limit to your future and a limit to your level of impact and influence!
People know you the moment you open your mouth!

If you want a big future with large boundaries, then your level of confession must be equivalent to sustain that dream. You got to have the words to be able to frame that FUTURE!

Our world is FRAMED by our words.
How far you are gonna go in life is determined by the words you confess.
Your words either bring life to your situation, or you can even end up KILLING YOU OWN DREAM! With your WORDS!

The angel told Zecharias to say no more, because Zecharias can CANCEL out the blessings of God just by his words alone!

You can cancel out the blessings of God by your careless words!

If you're disappointed, just be quiet.
If you're angry, just SHUT UP and calm down!
Dont cancel the blessings of God, by your careless words!!
Dont KILL a relationship by your CARELESS WORDS!!

"die la..die la..this time sure die one.."
"Shit..I feel like divorcing.."
"Oh no, im gonna fail.."

If you believe, if you confess and do not doubt in your heart, you WILL have whatever you say!
It didnt even say you will have whatever you pray, it says, "he will have whatever he SAYS"!

3 things we must have:

1. Revelation - its not just doing what you want/feel like doing, but doing what God SPECIFICALLY asks you to do. Why didnt the rest of the disciples on the boat walk on water? Because Jesus specifically asked Peter to 'come out'. He did not ask the rest! He knows who is ready, who isnt.

2. Visualization - eph 3:20; if you can see it, you can have it. if you cant see it, you wont have it. simple as that. Rom 12:2. Life wont change with time. Life changes only when your thinking changes!

3. Confession - heb 11:3 (life and death are in e power of the tongue). dont just confess your feelings, confess the WORD!

Luk 1:24, 37-41
Mt 7:6, Neh 2:12

Protect your dream. Why? Because there are dream snatchers and dream killers!
Dont feed every revelation and dream from God to dogs and swines who wont appreciate it!
Yes..the bible DID call them dogs and pigs. (Sermon on the mount, Mt 7:6)

Visions and dreams are for everyone.
Your young men shall see visions, your old men shall dream dreams.

Fellowship with GOD-dreamers.
Fellowship with people with great dreams.
Fellowship with people that are doing something.
Fellowship with people that are going somewhere!

Fellowship with people of faith, because their anointing will stir up your gifts!
You wanna be an eagle, dont hang around turkeys!

Dont hang around people who have a black face all the time!
Dont hang around people who complain all the time!
Dont hang around people who just love to do the job of the devil all the time, saying things they shouldnt, doing things they shouldnt!

People who grumble, gossip and get angry all the time, will create a world full of negatives! The more words that come out from their CARELESS mouths, the more non-edifying their world becomes! Some of them even have a look on their face as if they just manifested!

God is full of positives, the devil is full of negatives.
How much positive, and how much negative that comes out from you, simply reflects how much of your life is surrendered to God and how much is surrendered to the devil.

Luk 1:76-80
"John" - "Jehovah has graced"
If your vision is from God, He will give you the PROvision. His grace is sufficient.

Marinate your visions and dreams in the presence of God.
"Incubate" them and they will grow.

Dont abort the 'baby' of your dream! You wanna do great things, then dont complain when they come, but stay committed to it, till the end!

Anything born of yourself and the world, will not last.
But anything born of God, will never fall to the ground!

TRADITION > TRANSITION > TRANSFORMATION


THOUGHTS

The performance by Ritchell really inspired me. "I started my ministry at 6". I was so blown away! She's born prematurely, she's blind, but she compose songs and plays the piano at such a young age. And she's only 12. and man, when she speaks, presence of God comes.

One thing she said really struck me, she said,

"Dont be proud of your gifts, be proud of the one who GAVE you those gifts!"

I sat there and I was so blown away..presence of God overwhelmed me. I felt goosebumps on my goosebumps and my heart was really struck in awe.

Camp breakaway has ended. What are my memories you might ask. Well, the only memory I had was that short 2hr session i spent with my cg. Even tho I was pretty worn out and tired. Even though I didnt talk much.

And another memory was receiving the touch of God. But nothing beats meeting God more than meeting my celgrp. Sorry guys, I love you all, but I love God more! =) Thats what keeps me going, thats what gives me strength.

Many of you are tired. Well, ive been tired since my 'period of transition' came (2 months aldr). yea, u know the things that happened to me recently, my IHP, programming and many others. If i can hang in there in the midst of a crazy situation, u guys can do it too.

Ive had not had proper sleep for 2 months now..and im still chionging and its really frustrating to want to do something, and not being able to do it! its frustrating to feel helpless and worn out every single day of your life..that feeling of loneliness, when you see others with their friends and all..

If i were to ask who would take my place, i dont think anyone would LOL. But i know my time of transformation is coming. I heard ps preach and i was like, man, thats me..things are hitting me from all sides, things that no man has even DREAMED OF! haha. Timo once asked me, "Ha? how is it possible?"

exactly. lol.

For some reason, all of the outreaches/zone events clash with my timetable. ALWAYS! lol..and im not complaining. yes, there are times, i feel left out and down and tired and frustrated, but i learned to pick myself up.

you might see me smiley all the time, but you hardly know what goes on within, the tears that wet my bed at night, and cries that fill my room at night. that room you guys had PM in, is the same room, i felt tired in..the same room i felt frustrated in..

the same room where there are times i feel like giving up in, the same room that i felt lonely in..yet God chose to show up during our pre-cg PM. i cant really say my room is THAT sanctified..but nevertheless, it was a place of intimacy between me and God..

its not just my bedroom, its me and God's bedroom. every night we sleep together, we cry together, we hug together, we touch together and we dream and pray together. even as i sat there with tears in my eyes, i know that He is there, even though i cant feel Him at times..

if I can hold on, you can hold on.
if Ritchell can do it, so can you.
if Nick Vujicic can smile without limbs,
you can live a life without limits!

A broken and contrite heart, He will not despise...

Camp breakaway

Well..i shall start of by saying, the night session was good. at least to me. i kinda had trouble finding my way there in e dark, but thank God for my bro who came to meet me at the gate. really appreciate it.

even tho i missed e PnW..but the word was great. and after that, i told myself, i will not leave the place until i have met with God! and sure enough, I did. ps gave an altar call for those who wants a touch from God and i just chionged to the front..

i was feeling really down, very tired, no energy left..after kneeling in e presence of God..i was gonna fall asleep. but i dragged myself to the front, like a sacrificial lamb, dragging itself to the altar of God..and right there and then..ps audrey laid hands on me and the power of God fell upon me..

i lay there..i cried out to God..my hands and feet were shaking, even though they were on e floor. my whole face felt hot and i felt something heavy upon me, but that feeling was great, it was warm, comfortable and full of peace, full of love, full of faith and hope..

i didnt wanna get up, i COULDNT get up..e power of God was all over me. and tears began to flow down my face. i was so hungry, so desperate..i went over there just now, that place in potong pasir, st andrew's village, to meet with God. and i NEVER regretted it. :)

after that was salvation altar call. it was good, many responded. after that they had the prize presentation and after that, everyone just went wild lol. it was a really meaningful night for me, considering ive only went for one night out of 3 days..but that one night was worth it.

amidst of all the hugging and screaming and singing and laughing, nothing beats meeting the God of heaven! even though i paid 17 bucks for it, who cares? God is worth so much more! =)

went home with bro, stella and her friend.

oh ya, i saw the mediacorp young actress! haha..the one who acted in xiao hai bu ben :) she's really pretty! and she's like 172? omg..i feel so overpowered LOL. i couldnt recognise her at first haha. oh wells congrats to whoever brought her haha.

service with ps kong tmr..and e whole AN zone is wearing e breakaway tshirt! lOl. as for programming..grah..i dont wanna talk abt it. =|

i like what timo blogged:

Being strong is not a matter of personal capacity, its a matter of choice.

Tired, Revelation

Im feeling very tired and sleepy. I can hardly stay awake anymore. Im sick and tired of trying to understand programming. Ive got no more energy left..no more nothing!

I dont even have a life anymore. Doing programming only makes me grow old faster. Programming makes me die younger, programming shortens my lifespan, makes me grow pimples and ulcers..

I was really inspired by what John msged me:

“Praying men are the only men in which the Holy Spirit dwells, for the Holy Spirit and prayer go hand in hand. The Holy Spirit never descends upon prayerless men. He never fills them, He never empowers them. There is nothing whatever in common between the Spirit of God and men who do not pray. The Spirit dwells only in a prayer atmosphere.” – E.M. Bounds

and..

Prayer is like the key to a car. On its own, it cannot achieve anything. But when it is put into the ignition slot of the right car, it calls upon all the horsepower and resources of the car, and it moves at a speed that otherwise you and I cannot.

Matthew 16:19: The key is referring to: prayer.

You have the key and the car, so start the engine! Stop trying to push the car. Drive it. -Pastor Kong

I dont think ill be staying over for camp. Im not really in a mood to talk to anybody, not in a mood to have fun, not in a mood to do anything...

Replying smses and calls is so hard. I just dont feel like doing anything now...ive been programming since four years ago and not ONCE i had a break. its like a never ending curse for me..been wishing people happy birthday for the month of nov and dec. so many ppl have their birthdays around this time..

wished like over 10 ppl aldr..

isnt it ironic, for me to send my blessings and greetings to people when i myself and losing touch of my life? guess ill just continue to pour out everything i have..

pour out everything..

for God...for the people around me...

God, I wanna meet You later...

Video, Updates

Video 20: Quadruple Hello

Okay, just recently I was viewing my friends on facebook and I came across one friend..who randomly added me, I mean, Im a nice person, if u wanna add me, ill just accept..basic courtesy right?

So..i was viewing her profile, and to my horror of horrors, she's in the same sch as me. :O same course as me :O stay same area as me :O!!! Birthday one day after me!!! gosh, how freaky can it get? lol. oh ya, i met jeremy, daniel, cheryl, mei gee and charlene yesterday in canteen.

Project-wise? I really cant stand it, today my alarm DIDNT RING!!!! I think the battery came out from my phone again!!!! sheet sheet sheet sheet sheet!!!!

this is e 4th time i missed my attendance!!!wth. and u know whats e most frustrating thing? You find someone who can help you BUT 9-5 ure in school and u cant go out to meet the person! THIS IS BULLSH*T! stuck in school all day, not being able to even help myself, thats just freaking dumb!

okay, if anything could go worse, the guy who asked me if i could do the program, suddenly asked me, eh can add this or not ah? can add that or not ah? i think he just frigging added 4 extra features to my existing program!!!!!!!!! FECCCKKK!!!!!

im damn pissed, PROGRAMMING SUCKS!!! ive said it for 3 years now, IT SUCKS! its driving me nuts! one day when im rich enough, i make sure i take a plane overseas to KILL THE GUY WHO INVENTED PROGRAMMING. if he's already dead..i will personally go to his grave and PEE ON IT!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! i dont feel like going for camp..not unless there's someone there who can help me. if not, forget it. camp breakaway..im indeed BREAKING away..=/

Finally blogged

Someone blessed me with hundred bucks yesterday as an early xmas gift. :) Today was so enthusiastic for class..reach sch on time..only to realise..THERE'S NO CLASS! OMG.

i think im the only clown who have this happen to him every single semester! I dont know how many times i went to school enthusiastic and realised there's no class. O_O.

Just now was reading my school email..and there was a job offer at the school library (830am-5pm) as a student help assistant, to help design graphics and presentation materials using photoshop/powerpoint. and its $45 bucks a day! omg!!! i do one week i can clear my building fund! instead of saving like crazy every single month.

BUTTTTTT..yea..stupid IHP. i cant earn NUTS. im literally rotting myself away, until to the point i miss studying!!! i miss mugging!!! i miss going to class, learning stuffs, mixing round with friends and going for tests!!!

okay, someone's gonna kill me now..but what e heck lol. i really miss those days in sec school, during our O levels, when we would stay in school everyday till 9-10pm just to mug and to meet up with our classmates and teachers to help us do our TYS..=/

then we would have dinner outside/tapao to school, with our teachers and we would just sit in e canteen/classroom and chat, study and really spend some time together e whole day.

camp breakaway has started..too bad im only going for one night. hopefully i find someone there who knows ASP.NET.VB =/

Short update before I doze off

Waddaya know..i dozed off while setting my alarm clock on my phone. GG! Ended up waking up late and missed my attendance! ~.O

*Menu - Alarm Clock - Presses 07...*THUMP!

Happy birthday to 2 dearest brothers..Thad and Pow! You guys are THE pwnz0rs! Keep rocking for Christ! Dinner and bdae celebration with cg and thad just now at PS. had dinner at Secret Recipe. haha i must say the kids fish n chips are worth it.

one crispy fish cutlet with alphabet fries haha..but they tasted more like hashbrowns. and the steam from the fish after biting the crispy crust..yummy. gosh. together with the sparking grape juice..thats altogether 10plus. which was quite worth it cus the food's really nice..and the tartar sauce was different from those u get outside. :O

officially..i wanna say..its my first time there. and so qiao bump into E406 haha. btw, its strange..when i sit here and blog im awake..but the moment i lie down and play e PSP..i doze off. O_O. nani???

Gotta rush project!!!!!!!!

breakawayyyyyy...i think ill be doin my project while others are sleeping =/

Strange people

Now, i REALLY wanna noe, why people are staring at me while im on e train. i mean, seriously..if its just one or two, its okay..but like 4-5 people? Hmm something must be wrong. apparently, i sat there and they stared, as if im carrying a bomb in my bag like that O_O.

Then while i was on the bus from clementi to sch, there was this girl who sat beside me. she was reading e newspaper. then all of a sudden..she took out a huge cloth/towel..then she covered her head like a shaolin mistress..

hello??? only I can do the shaolin thingy okay? hahaha. but seriously..i felt so weird. people sit beside u read newspaper, must cover the head with towel. O_O shy ah? even if its so, isnt this a bit EXTREME? bah..strange day its been for me today. cant get any stranger O_O

i shldve taken a photo man..or even record a new youtube video with you in it! lol. every week, for some reason i get cheated of one dollar. stupid vending machine. either the snack never drop, or the snack drop halfway, JAM there..and im like..how the heck is it possible to get STUCK while dropping? O_O. sheesh lol.

today had QLA common test. not bad..finished every question with peace and ease. right now, im just dozing off..=/ oh yes..and whats worse than snacks getting stuck in a vending machine? DRINK machines that have no cups!!!!

*Puts in 50 cents.
*Sees drink; Still have stock.
*Presses drink.
*Machine dispenses drink.
WITHOUT A CUP!!!!!

so yea..you stand there and you see coke dripping and coming out from the tap on top but u see no cups..DIAO!!!! if i were in e flesh id smashed e machine lol. i need a break..and i need sleep!! gosh..i think im going insane staring at codes for FOUR LONG YEARS! id rather look at my future wife for 4000 years than to look at programming for even 4 minutes!

oh yea, one more thing..some girl on my wholivesnearyou.com account msged me and gave me her number ask me to call her. haha..errrrrm..oooooookaaaay...LOL.

Videos, Thoughts

really bored. i did something like this sometime ago..but oh wells..decided to zoom in. for randomosity's sake hahaha. (does that word exist? :O hmm)

my first video featuring someone else other than myself ~.O

okay, i dont know whether ure supposed to laugh or to cry..hahaha..

service at jurong west was gd today..accompanied liz and powpow. during e offering, because we had time and because e place was small..Dr John invited everyone..literally..EVERYONE..to walk to the front and lay their envelopes on the stage steps. it was my first time doing this..and boy it was fun..

yet at e same time..presence of God filled e place and e people sacrificed. what we are sitting on is not just a comfy chair..its something that someone gave their life for! its because of someone's sacrifice that made our miracle building possible!

and certainly its gonna take another sacrifice to make our stadium possible!!!

i liked what Dr John said, the tithe opens the windows of heaven, but the offering increases your returns. Angels are called not just to serve God..but to serve God BY serving His sons and daughters, which are..US!

BUT..how can angels serve us, how can angels bring down our prayer answers, if the windows of heaven are not open over our lives in the first place?

all in all this weekend was good. now back to projects..this sucks..really. spirit of programming, I BIND YOU IN E NAME OF JESUS!!!! damn, i cant take it anymore lol..=/

worse comes to worse, i have a common test tmr! GRAHAHAGIWUKUKUMOOMOO!

Service

hmm my version of this song you hear might sound different from the original breakaway CD track "God is Real Today" haha..yes..i tweaked it a BIT lol..to make the lead guitar louder and clearer instead of all the heavy distortion from the background guitar. i managed to somehow blend it in..haha..so that its softer than e lead guitar haha.

it was just fantastically awesome..right from e PreSvc PM to the praise n worship to the preaching of the Word. Dr John Avanzini's message not only convicted me, it really challenged my faith and to move on to the next level!

his jokes on marriage and BGR really cracked me up haha..he's a really funny guy and i find him very fatherly. thats because he has God in his life :D

who doesnt want lasting marriage? who doesnt want blessed children, a private house and car? and yet at the same time happy all the days of your life? who doesnt?

he really made a distinction today..

wealth that brings sorrow and emptiness VS wealth that makes you a blessing and give you righteousness, peace and joy. its good that the wicked become rich..haha..so that all their wealth can be transferred to the godly. woohoo haha. AMEN to that! lol.

all in all..e service was great from start to end!!! yeah.

breakaway camp in few days time. i wonder how im gonna carry my laptop frm sch to St Andrews Village and then go for service after one night's stay. hmm..carry 2 bags? lol. i dont need to attract THAT much attention haha. =/

offering today was..man..really challenging our limits! thats what its all about..crossing barriers and breaking limits!

i love chicken curry!!! hahaha.

stop hoping that things will change! dont watch things happen, dont wonder what happened, but make things happen!

CG and SPG! haha. YEAH

What can I say..like everyone else who would say.."Thank God". really..we are just ordinary people serving an extraordinary God. Adam was gonna be late so he asked me if i could start off the pre-cg PM..

Well, calling it pre-cg PM, to me..sounds okay, but i prefer calling it the "Secret Place Gathering" (SPG) for short. hahaha..we have E-4-20, now we have the Celgrp SPG. LOL! every week, 30min before cg..but haha..our TIMING is ALWAYS WRONG! lol..

short meetings become long, long meetings become longer! haha..you can never rush God, you can never put a limit on God. If He wanna move, then He moves, whether u like it or not haha..but of course we all have a choice to allow Him and to make room for Him to move lol.

SPG was just awesome. haha..we didnt even need to sing any song, we just went straight into praying and God just moved. it was me, tim and elaine, then the rest came in. then adam. and i would sit there..just being alone and genuine with God..and like adam said, just being free.

Like adam said, there's no cg leader, no cg guitarist, no cg helper, no cg treasurer or any positions, in e presence of God..we are all equal..so I just sat there..put aside my position, put aside my status and come to God just as I am, imperfect and dependent on Him.

eventually we had a mini QT. haha. but it was great. i remember adam talking about some things that were related to my life, and i sat there..power of God was all over me. i was tearing and my fingers were shaking even as i held my guitar..it was dark so no one saw..but my hands really trembled in that room...it felt like waves of the HS pouring over me again and again..

cg later was even better. even tho we didnt have praise, but God just moved like..words cant describe. just one week ago during our SPG, we were praying how every member could experience what me, adam and tim went through in that same room..

and true enough..today, God moved. and i dont know how, but i went from song to song and God..everything was just in line and in flow. and there again, as i took that step of faith..i switched songs..adam wanted to sing One Life, One Love..and on the spot..it came out..

then during e bridge of the song..somehow the chords are the same as e bridge of ANOTHER song..Take All Of Me..and i just flowed..and it was scary like adam said, when he said, dont be scared of e presence of God, dont be afraid to go to places uve never been..

and there i was..playing songs on the spot, without chords...we turned off the lights and once again, another holy ghost meeting! i believe this is just a foretaste of what we will experience in this year's breakaway camp..during the night session AKA Encounter Night.

once again..i sat there..totally yielded..totally surrendered..i was crying to God..God..please. i dont wanna screw up..its e first time im doing this..if i screw up, is You lose face, not me. let me decrease, and You increase.

and i couldnt believe i actually had the 'guts' to tell God..if i mess up, is You lose face, not me. haha..but really..i was telling Shing e other day, God will NEVER mess up His own meeting! He will NEVER make Himself lose face! ;))

and i sat there..i couldnt sing anymore..cus the tears just kept flowing..and i was sniffing and breathing..literally gasping for air..because the glory of God fell upon that place. there was a weight, a cloud..(kabod, as learned from bible study hahaha).

and once again, my hands were trembling..my pick was shaking and my fingers shook while i pressed e chords..and i felt heat all over my hands, all over my face..i wasnt expecting them to pray for me. if i was standing i wouldve fallen under e power of God aldr! :D

it was just an awesome time..how i wish the whole would could experience what we experienced. we worshipped, we prayed up a storm, and tim's offering message, IMO, is one of the best offering messages ive ever heard in a cg meeting! good job bro!

its really amazing..that so many of us, have hidden talents, hidden abilities, hidden potential and creativity, all waiting to be RELEASED the moment we serve God! when elaine prayed..POWER of God fell..when tricia prayed..man..i really dont know what to say..PRESENCE of God fell, it brought along CONVICTION, STRONG CONVICTION as well! when sebas prayed..POWER of God fell..when Jolene prayed..POWER of God fell!

waves upon waves..little becomes much, when we put in e master's hands..some of us might not know how to pray the first time round..not many can preach, not many can give a good offering message, but in the hands of God..NOTHING can become EVERYTHING..

if God can create the entire universe out of NOTHING, imagine what He can do with a LITTLE of something! im not someone great, im just an normal guy with a great God! the whole meeting was just awesome..just like that..2hrs have passed (or even more haha)..we ended at 1030pm! haha..and it seemed as if we could go on forever :DD

after cg, chatted and fellowshipped for awhile..then celebrated leon's birthday. and 'strange' things happened lol. thats what makes E420 fun..haha..we are fun not because we are at the edge of being professional, not because we're the most happening bunch, but because of the little things that we laugh about haha..*unglam LOL...

We are truly G420 haha. our slogan: Glam. We laugh at ourselves. lol..whatever that means haha. today was really great..we jumped into the river of God. service with Dr John Avanzini later..haha..

im gonna say something that sounds totally un-norm haha..(i made that word up)..

I miss queueing :S hahaha

Just a small revelation:

Mk 11:23

For assuredly, I say to you, "Whoever says to this mountain, 'be removed and be cast into the sea', and does not doubt in his heart, but believe that those things he says will be done, he WILL have whatever he SAYS.

it didnt say "whatever he prays", it didnt say, "whatever he sings", it didnt even say, "whatever he believes"..but it said, "He WILL have..whatever he SAYS". thats why we pray corporately. even just now during PM, i prayed halfway and i was stopped..i think adam wanted those who have never prayed before to step out..and thank God..people stepped out and POWER of God was all over the place! =) it was just awesome..

because when we SPEAK it..things begin to change in e realm of e spirit..curses, bondages and cycles of defeat, are all BROKEN DOWN!