Dread, Update, God

What a tiring week. Rushing like crazy and yet not being able to find people to help. Well, I CAN find people but busy people. They have work. And from 9-5 im 'confined'. So even if i manage to find people to help, im not able to RECEIVE the help..

To cut the long story short..someone came to my house last night..wanted to burn some stuff. End up wasting 2hours of my time. He left at 12.20am. Before that had dinner with family to celebrate dad's bdae. So practically speaking, the whole of last night I didnt touch my project at all.

I really wish some people would just die and disappear from the world, seriously. I cant take it anymore. Why did I choose to go through all these? Its because nobody else would. Why am I so stubborn when it comes to helping people? Because I cant help it, Jesus would do the same.

The only difference is that He wasnt in lack, He had no sin, and He didnt have to struggle with programming assignments. Everytime I try to be more like Him, the more impossible it seems with my own strength..

Christmas is coming..another heavy burden. 2 friends to reach out. And later have to go buy present which I dread doing. Cause it will waste probably at least another 2 hours of my time. I already told Thad I wont be at the christmas party...

Guess merry christmas in advance to all of you. I think i wont be experiencing christmas this year. Itll just be another public holiday filled with crazy people and crazy assignments..

Ive never had a proper christmas for 2 years now. Yeah go and do all your shopping and gift giving and singing carols and opening presents..last and year and in a few days time, ill be doing the same thing..staring at ASP.NET codes.

Yes, a programmer has no life. So if ure dreaming to become one, then forget it. Let me be your dream killer. PROGRAMMING IS A CURSE!

Guess it wont make any difference whatsoever...Im so lonely, worn out and tired, with nobody walking beside me other than God...I really dont feel like going out to buy the present. I deeply apologise if u are offended. But would anyone rather be in my position?

Just live my life for one day, and you'll understand EVERYTHING I go through. Yes, one day is enough, because everyday is the same..

Same problems, same people. I hang with people no one else would hang with, I endure torture no one else would endure, i do things no one else even dreamed possible..

same sleepless and teary nights..im crying almost every single day, with no shoulder to lean on, hugging my bolster to sleep wishing someone would be there to share my joy, someone there to share my sorrows..

this chorus is the cry of my heart..

You're my Healer - Planetshakers

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

My Healer, You're my Healer

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hand