Booking in

Service 4 was great. Kind of came at the right time for me. Ps laid hands. Went forward. 1-2 people got delivered.

Thanks zephya and amber for getting me a seat.

After service, met up with Qiyu to take photo together. Went JP after that to buy my toiletries and soap. Went home and blogged the previous entry.

God, let the same anointing, the same presence go with me into camp..

Help me never to feel lonely.
Help me never to be tired or weary.
Let this week be fun and quick.
Help me to love You more each day and to encounter You every night when I sleep.

God, I love You.

Dear God..

God I love You..so madly, so deeply..

Yet so many times Ive grieved you by my actions,
So many times Ive let You down..
So many times Ive neglected You..led my own life..

Yet You set me aside today and touched me during service, gave me an encounter, a touch, an impartation..

God, I wanna be near You every single day, every single moment, every single second..

I dont wanna live one second without You.

God, please draw closer to me, Im not satisfied, God, I want more of You..more of Your anointing, more of Your presence, more of Your love.

This whole week Ive hardly talked to anyone..Im tired, Im feeling lonely, neglected and left out. For some reason, I feel Ive been away too long. Friendships that once were, are now no longer there..

Thank You for touching me today. Thank You for being so good to me, so faithful. Thank You, Abba, for being more than a Father, more than a friend to me.

I just feel as if Ive lost everything, except You..God, thats how I feel right now, I feel so empty and lost. 2 more months seem like an eternity away.

The physicality I go through in camp, is nothing compared to how much I miss You. God, I feel like Im all be myself, like there's no one out there, being lost alone in a jungle..

I kinda lost the feeling of how it feels like to be in a cg..

Yet in that still, quite place of solitude, I have found You..

Help me to love You more,
Help me to serve You more.

Take all of me, in exchange for all of You.

Its been awhile..SURVEYS! =))

Tagged by Cher.

Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. NO tag back!!

1. I have not been in a relationship before.

2. Im always smiling, even when being scolded.

3. I hardly raise my voice, or not at all.

4. Sometimes I can be emotionless. Im too relaxed.

5. Im lovesick (with God)

6. Im a quiet person..VERY quiet person. (especially around girls..=x, girl phobia)

7. I have a fear of heights and confined spaces; easily affected by motion sickness.

8. I hate bugs. But frightening things dont make me run away, instead I saddistically kill them without mercy, then later bisect them leg by leg, wing by wing, or microwave the dead body until it explodes inside out; (Or using focused sunlight through magnifying glass).

9. I love being alone but hate loneliness.

10. I am unglam. Doing funny things which people dont find funny at all.

People to tag:

Anyone who reads this. =))

God incidences, Breaking through

This week's been pretty amazing. I forgot to blog this..

A friend was feeling down, God hinted/whispered to her a verse, she still felt down and discouraged..we smsed each other, I encouraged her. And I gave the same rhema, thus, confirmed the will of God for her life.

Then..

Another friend, feeling down and discouraged. And again, I gave another rhema, without even knowing the situation of my friend.

Then thad msg me on msn just now, how he was sharing the Healer video with pam and timo, and this afternoon, I happened to chance upon that same video, and I blogged it down in my previous entry..*Before Service 1 started.

And when service started, they sang it!

Was I at the right place at the right time? I dont know.

For some reason, God uses me the most, when Im going through my own disappointments, pains and troubles.

I remembered that simple prayer I made to God, "God, use me to be a blessing. I wanna make people smile, I wanna be someone who encourages." Because I really feel a lot for my friends around me.

And in order to do that, God has to take me to breaking points in my life, so that I can fully understand and experience what other people go through.

God will never waste an experience, a trial, a disappointment.

You DID pray for God to use you right?
You DID pray for breakthrough right?

What is breakthrough? Break-ing through.

Dont be deceived into thinking that all breakthroughs mean a raise of standard or an improvement in your life. Not always.

There is no breakthrough without the BREAK-ing.

Jesus wanted to redeem mankind. Thats a really big destiny. He had his breakthrough, He is now seated at the right hand of the Father. But His breaking cost Him everything.

If you wanna be a mediocre christian, then stay in your comfort zone.

A friend's msn once said:

Life is too short to live normally.

Next time you ask God for something, make sure you know what you are asking for.

Dont just have the faith to ask, have the faith to receive.

Going s4 tomorrow, dont know if Ill be alone. But its okay..Im kinda used to it. =/

"Wakeeee meee uppp..when september endssss..." (POP in Oct, 11 more weeks)

Healer

Such a power song (Turn up the volume =)). There really isnt anything more I could say..

Below's the singer's testimony of how despite going through cancer, he stood on the stage and sang, used his sickness as a blessing and how despite being sick himself, he was there to minister to others who needed healing..

In awe, speechless..what a great man, what a great God!

Great week and...

This week's been great. Im happy for many things.

This week ive been assigned as squad leader. We rotate sqls so each one can get a chance. I must say, thank God, everything went pretty smooth, but most importantly, I had fun.

Also, since I enlisted, Ive lost 4 KGs. And mind you, its not those type where, you wake up in e morning, lose 1-2 kg because ure hungry, and then in e middle of e day, u gain it back..

Mine is consistent. Slow and steady.

All in all, it was a great week, so many funny things happened at camp, everyday there's laughter, and bonding, which is definitely BETTER than light duty or mc!

Dojo was the most fun, armlocks, fake punches, kicks and stuff haha. Breaking a chokehold, or using force to break a hold of someone holding onto your hand, tossing people 1.5times your weight, etc..

Hahaha. Okay, the sitting on each other thing was gay and..erm, REALLY gay. lol..looks as if we're having..u know..haha. Okay never mind lol, too close to the mouth..lalala..wth..haha.

And..a few lessons back, there was this female instructor..she used a T-baton and did an armlock on me..omg..pain! Then take down, onto the mat..pain! LOL. Freaky. Got muscles man. =/

Anyway..

This week..on another side..

Was a rather lonely week for me. Well, not exactly lonely. For some reason, all these testimonies are great to share..I just cant find anyone whom I can share with. :S Everyone's so busy. Sometimes I feel like as if I dont exist.

Its like, ure happy, but you have no one there to be happy with you..yea. =/

What my friend shared is so true, its no use if one person is pressing into another person's life, its like a one way friendship. Sometimes I wish I could just sms myself and reply to myself.

I wish I could have someone whom I can share spiritual stuffs with, someone whom I can talk about spiritual stuffs with, whether is it via sms or phonecall. This whole week, I dont know, it feels terrible..to be having breakthroughs and fun and each time I pick up my phone, I discovered there isnt really anyone whom I can share my joy, my revelations with.

Or rather, I get stuck, dont know who to sms, dont know who to call, because everyone's so busy..

I lay on my bed one night, and wondered, what it was like to be married...

Someone there for you, someone you can be happy with, be sad with, through thick and thin, we go through life together, becoming overcomers together..

Wondered how it feels like to be able to do QT with someone, cry in the presence of God together, pray together..right now, I dont know, I really long for that kind of companionship, not just the opposite sex.

Sorry if there arent any pics or videos, you wont be seeing them in a long long time..my POP is in October. Just like my 21st in camp, alone..I wonder if another big moment of my life, Ill be there by myself again..

Seeing the previous intake POP this week, seeing how they gathered round their friends and families..emotions and thoughts went through my mind.

This week is the first time, I didnt feel like smsing or calling anyone. Because I know people wont reply, when Im in tears, no one is there. When Im smiling, no one can be there to share it with me.

Maybe its because Ive been hurt so much, Ive built a wall.

People will let you down, but God has never let me down. But its okay, Ive been living alone all this while anyway. Its just me and God, I dont really need any close friend or companions..=/

This week I cant go for my own service, cus my family celebrating ahgong's birthday. And tmr there's no cg, and Im going S4. So I dont think Ill meet anyone I know either. Its okay, Im so used to living life by myself that if everyone leaves me alone, i can still survive.

God has been so good to me, too good. The next book in, my FI might change. Ill miss my FI. He's really been a blessing sent from God. Even though the change is 90% confirmed, Ill still hang on and believe for that 10% chance that he wont be reshuffled to another squad.

The exercises we went through, the runs, the motivational talks, all the bonding, its really sad to see him go. Today's PT was fun, all 30+ of us, stood in one straight line. There are 2 lines. The start and the finishing line.

With arms across each other's shoulders we are to do lunges from one end to another..it was tiring, it was hard to be holding on to each other, and each time they fall, you are there to lift them up. Even though we were sweating and frowning in pain, yet deep down there was a smile.

How I wish I could have friends like that..friends in church who are like that..

These guys are muslims and buddhists..they have touched me more than my church friends, seriously..maybe its because we go through good and bad times together. Im starting to feel closer to my bunk mates than my church mates..

Its as if we're drifting apart..

Naturally we tend to be drawn where we feel accepted and loved e most..thats probably the most 'reasonable' reason why people backslide or leave church..and Im starting to feel that way.

This week, I hardly missed my cg nor my friends in church..something has happened. I dont know if its good or bad.

When I pick up my phone, is anyone out there?

Right now, it doesnt really matter.

My Room

My room, is my secret place.

Its easy to pray in my room, because my room has the anointing for a prayer meeting.

Its easy to learn guitar in my room, because its in my room,
where I learnt mine by myself.

Its easy to experience love in my room, because God showed up many times.

Anyone who has been inside my room before, you are blessed.

Tears of love

Thinking of You made me cry the whole day today.
I kept on listening to this song, I kept on thinking of God, I kept on crying.

I lay on my bed, I looked around my room..this was where my secret place was.
Things I went through that no one else knows, I laid them here before God.
The good times we shared, the experiences and tears..

It was all in my room.

Now that Im inside, Lord, I dont wanna get out. I miss this place..I miss You..
The smell of my tear-soaked bolster and pillow, the floor I knelt on,
The window I stared at every night, waiting for You to come..

Ive never cried so much before..
How can one love someone, he cant even see, so much to feel for Him like that?

This is the God I serve.

Memories..

I remember day, I walked down the altar call with tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I knelt down during Emerge conference with tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I went for overnight prayer meeting with tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I wrote my first song, with tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I fell under the power for the first time,
With tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, Jesus came to my room at night and hugged me,
With tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I prostrated for the first time in my room before God,
With tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I had to play for cg in the dark, with tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I played for Secret Place Gathering at my house,
With tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I jogged, pouring my heart and problems to Jesus,
With tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I sat alone in the park downstairs, praying for my family,
Praying for ahgong, with tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I was down, and Jesus sent 3 angels to bring a smile to my face,
With tears in my eyes..

I remember the day, I was feeling lonely in school,
And Jesus sent an angel to talk to me about God and about my situation,
With tears in my eyes, I hid in the toilet and encountered God.

I remember the day, I was down again,
And God sent another angel in the form of a friend,
To meet me in her playground and ministered to me,
Leaving the place with tears in my eyes, having encountered God..

I remember the day, during my FYP, sitting alone in NP Canteen 1,
Staring at beautiful scenery, chatting with God, smiles all over,
Teary eyed.

I remember the day, I cried myself to sleep,
And Jesus was there and laid his hands on me,
And kissed me. Tears in my eyes..

And now...

I will remember the day, I sat in my room, remembering the days,
Typing them out in my blog, with tears in my eyes..

God has been good..
So good..
Too good..

Lord, I miss You, with tears in my eyes..
Lord, never leave me nor forsake me..
Do not take Your Holy Spirit from me..
I really miss You..the good times we had..
Whenever Im alone, I never felt lonely..not once..

But now, I dont know why I miss You so much..
Everyday morning I wake up, I look forward to book out..
When I can finally be with You.

Thank You for giving me Your best.
Thank You for giving me something I never deserved.
I wouldnt mind, living my entire life, alone, just with You.

Lord, Ive found my first love..
Love that is inseparable..

Let this week be quick,
Lord, I miss You so much.
You have never let me down.

When I see my block downstairs,
When I walk along the path I used to jog at night,
When I see my own bedroom,
I think of You and the awesome, intimate moments we had.

Lord, will you give me that experience once again?

When I look at my bunk, Lord, I wanna think of You,
But its hard. Its painful, I dont have any memories there,
Except for Your goodness and faithfulness.

Lord I want an encounter,
Lord I want a God moment,

I want to be intimate with You once more..

Mercies that rise with the new morn
Set me apart as a new born
Each moment I live
By faith I believe
With You, Im never alone

Darkness they come, trials seem so long
You are the light I depend on
Through valleys and storms
Your Word keeps me strong
My shelter, refuge and song
I trust in You

Everyday I live, I know You are my God
I lift my face and look to You my Lord
Even when the mountains tremble
And a thousand fall
I will stand with You
My Jesus, take my all

Sick, Emotions, Thoughts

Well, this week..what can I say about it? I had a bad case of cough which led me to have blood in my throat, thus, when I coughed, my phlegm was blood red.

A case of infection, heatiness, dryness.

No doubt I have water parade in camp, but somehow, my body rejects water, or rather, it doesnt take in much water. I go toilet a lot..and I mean, a LOT!

Tmr will be very rush..cg, PC's baptism, then service. And Im still sick.

And so, back to the story, I went to see the medical officer at the clinic, was assigned to do light duty for the entire week. Sitting on the sidelines, might seem like a relief to people in NS, but to me, it was different, maybe because I have a different spirit. =)

Anyway, I missed out on all the activities, all the fun, all the laughs, the sweat, the running, seeing how my squad mates enjoyed themselves, seeing how closely they bonded together, sharing their stories in bunk together, and there I am, sitting quietly, feeling down and emo, and kinda left out..

When I had that kind of feeling with me cg last time, Id never thought I could feel LEFT OUT, in NS! I mean, who has ever heard of such a thing? Even Natalie smsed me, telling me, how Im the only one she knows who feels this way, when I cant exercise LOL.

What can I say? Im like that, whether you like me for that or not, doesnt really bother me, haha.

Yes, Im different. Im weird or whatever, at least...IM NOT GAY! haha.

Back to my week..

And so yea..its been a rather quiet week for me, everyday living by the sidelines, not talking to anyone, not only because Im emo, but because my throat hurts, everytime I eat, everytime I swallow my saliva, everytime I breathe deeply.

God has never failed to show Himself faithful.

If there's one word to describe Him, its..FAITHFUL.

I just received news that the next intake onwards, after we POP, may NOT be allowed to bring cameraphones..AND..

The next intake, will no longer book out on friday, they might change the standard book out to saturday afternoon. :O

Talk about being in the right place, at the right time, with the right people.

Its been awhile since I had a pretty long post. But who cares? Haha. Its reaching 100,000 in hits! LOL!

Its almost 2 months now. Half of my BMT is more or less, passing by more quickly than I expected. Its really funny how when I go though a tough time, unknowingly, people are sharing their problems with me.

I mean, it has become a lifestyle for me haha..the "Andrew" lifestyle lol.. Encouraging but never encouraged, and so on. But its okay, if no one thanks me, its okay, if no one notices me, its okay, if no one prays for me, as long as I still have Christ living in me, I will still do what Christ will do, and say what Christ will say..and so on..

The best way for you to put a smile on my face is to put a smile on yours. I love being simple. =)

I just want to post this really powerful statement, evan, my first cgl ever said:

She said..

You will never know the depth of your character, until you see how you react under pressure.

What do you do when the going gets tough?

Do you toughen up?
Do you cover it up?
Do you start building walls?

Or do you let God break you?

He who asks for a breakthrough, asks for a period of testing.

If you can have the faith to believe God for great things,
Can you have the faith to receive it?

You can never enjoy a pizza without first baking it.

You want to shine for your family,
You want to shine for your friends,
You want the fragrance of Christ to flow through you..

Will you let God break you today?

When you are weak, He is strong.
His strength is made perfect in weakness.
The way up, is the way down.

Do you know, what do you really want?
Do you know, what are you really asking God for?

If yes, then you have done your best to make the biggest decision of your life.

Now let Him do the rest...

The song says:

Everyday I live I know, You are my God.
I lift my face and look to You, my Lord.
Even when the mountains tremble
And a thousand fall,
I will stand with You,
My Jesus, take my all.

Casting Crowns - Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Testimony, New Skin

New MSN Live skin for WinXP haha! Woots. I kinda hate the new msn live for being so bright and then the winxp at the back, being dull. So I found a skin to blend the colors together, muahaha!

Okay..

I really wanna take this opportunity to thank God for all He's done for me.

The people he's placed in my life, the way my failures turned into breakthroughs, and so much more.

This week was fun, though at times, tough, but yet, going through them with great friends, makes all the difference. I shared my testimony with many people and seowshi told me that I should blog it down, so I really hope this encourages readers in a way.

This week, I wept a little while doing pushups, though no one saw, because they were mixed with my sweat. I didnt wept because of the pain, but because of joy, gratitude, motivation..it was a moment of mixed emotions that ran through me all at once..

My FI was away for a day, on course. While he was away, we kena 'whacked' army style for the entire day by a saddistic FI. If you see our clothes and underwear, it was mud, sweat and water all over..doing the laundry was hard. One third of my squad ended up on light duty due to sickness/injury/etc..=/

When my FI came back the next day, while we were in pumping position, he heard about how we were 'mistreated', he humbled himself and apologised to us for not being there for us, he took it upon himself, and said that he had failed as an FI, when he said that..my entire squad immediately shouted, "NO SIR!!!"

He offered to do the punishment together with us, we did 20. After that, we just remained on the floor and watched him do 5-10 more, for my squad. As I watched, I was deeply moved. When I saw him, I saw Jesus...someone whos willing to put aside his position, lay down his life for his men, and defend and protected us no matter how many times we screwed up..

I remained on the floor..thinking to myself, I dont deserve to be enjoying my NS life in police, neither do I deserve to have such great people. Yet, God has freely given me all things, because God is a loving father.

Which father will withhold good things from his children?

NS has brought me closer to my family too. On the way home, I chatted with dad about our ns life. I guess, whenever guys come together, ns will certainly be a topic to talk about..because we, as men, have gone through a lot.

One of my bunkmates was chatting with me on msn last night, he happened to see my videos hahahaha, but..everyone's been telling me..

How come Im so quiet?
When we kena 'tekan', how come I dont say anything nor show any expression?

They tell me, how Ive matured so fast inside. How different I am, compared to last time/outside.

Have I changed? haha.

Speaking of change, thanks thad for setting up my guit, it sounds orgasmic now..LOL.


God has been good, not because Im good.
He doesnt see the outward, He sees the heart.

When things go well, we praise Him.
When things go wrong, do we still live in faith? Do we still love Him?

Do you love your life more than the one who gave you life?
Do you love your blessings more than you love your saviour?

What or who are you talking about most of the time?
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks..

I love talking about God, about things of God, those conversations can last me the entire night, and keep going on and on and on..

"If anyone acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will openly acknowledge that person before my Father in heaven." - Mt 10:32 (NLT)

Always

Did You rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that I might
Know Your majesty?
Is Your voice upon the wind?
Is everything I've known marked
With my maker's fingerprints?

Breathe on me
Let me see Your face
Ever I will seek You

Chorus:

'Cause all You are, is all I want, always
Draw me close in Your arms
Oh God, I wanna be with You

Can I feel You in the rain?
Abandon all I am to have You
Capture me again
Let the earth resound with praise
Can You hear as all creation lives
To glorify one name?

Service, Celgrp, book in

CG was great. Service was awesome. God indeed moved so mightily this week.

Fellowship after svc and cg was great too.

Wept in my room just now...

Every sunday before book in, for some reason, I would lie on my bed, listen to some worship songs and cry.

Today I realised,

More than just missing my cg, more than just missing my church friends..the reason why I cried every sunday evening, is because I miss God...

After having a great encounter during service, after having a great encounter during celgrp, for some reason, booking in makes me feel as if Im going further from God. I dont know, I miss jogging at night alone with Him.

I miss sitting at my void deck alone 2-3am in the morning, and just chat, pray and pour my heart out to him.

Last night, I was doing night guitaring with seowshi and kai xiang (spell correctly?), I was a bit random, a bit lame, but deep down, I was a little emotional. Every book in, I would think about night guitaring session, cus its the last memorable thing I do every week, before booking in..

I would miss the presence of God..
I would miss the company of friends..
Its been more than a month, Im still thinking of you guys..
Im still missing you guys..

Even though I get to book out, by the grace of God, every week, I still miss you guys.
I dont know why, when Im in camp, I feel so far away.

Everyday I look forward to those smses and calls.

I wake up, I check my handphone.
After breakfast, I check my handphone.
After lunch, I check my handphone.
After dinner, I check my handphone.
Before I sleep I check my handphone again.

I cant live one day without any sms, I would emo in bed..I miss church, celgrp, fellowship. No doubt I have great friends and instructors inside, but nothing beats the presence of God, nothing beats being with your family, being with the ones you love.

Every week when I wake up on monday, the only thing I look forward to, is my book out day.

12 weeks to POP.

I wanna get an office posting, I wanna come home everyday. Chat with you guys, and spend the nights with you guys, have my 'proper' QT, and night fellowship with friends and with God.

I surrender all, I will follow You
I surrender all, bring my life to You
I surrender all, live my life for You
I surrender all, I surrender all
To You, Jesus

Camp, Friends, Prayer

There's so much I wanna blog.

This week's been okay for me, drills, drills and more drills.

The power of prayer:

Without prayer, I wouldnt have nice bunk mates.
Without prayer, I wouldnt have united squadmates.
Without prayer, I wouldnt have a christian PFI (Permanent Field Instructor)
Without prayer, I wouldnt have a smiley and friendly PDTI (Police Defense Tactics Instructor)
Without prayer, I wouldnt have a nice OC.
Without prayer, I wouldnt have a fair and decent Coy Commander.

A dream come true? How is it that everything can seem so perfect? Every big shot, thats been placed in front of me, are a team people can only dream of.

Im sure there are guys who would love to take my place right now.

Its hard to believe Im 'lucky' in my NS huh? When I pray, when people pray, 'luck' happens. Its not luck my friends, its God. While everyone else is suffering, Im having a great time. This week had many funny incidents, lol..just PM me and Ill share, too much to blog here.

There's something I wanna blog about a long time ago, before enlistment, but it wasnt the right time..but now Ill blog it.

Im gonna blog about..The God in the Midst of Failure.

People are naturally afraid to fail.
People naturally strive for excellence.

I was reminded.

About my poly years..how I failed no matter how hard I tried.
How I studied 4 years while others studied 3.
How I enlisted when people are ORDing.

Did it feel good? Honestly, no..seeing people ORD at 21, while I enlist at age 21.

Those moments I spent, with no one in school whom Im close to.
Those moments during year 4, where it seems Im a loner.

Yet if you were to ask me, "Hey andrew, did you regret not studying harder?"

I can tell you...No I never regretted anything.

If I hadnt failed my year 3,
I wouldnt have met great people like Torance, Seowshi and Amber.

If I hadnt failed my year 3,
I wouldnt have become a guitar teacher of 7 people.

If I hadnt failed my year 3,
I wouldnt be in the police force.

If I hadnt failed my year 3,
All those blessings I mentioned in the beginning of this post, wouldnt have come.

If I hadnt failed my year 3,
Timomo wouldnt have the chance to rise up to be a cg guitarist.

If I hadnt failed my year 3,
I wouldnt have met so many great friends like alicia, wyelin, karwen, khanh, and so much more.

If I hadnt failed my year 3,
I wouldnt have had the chance to work at sentosa.

If I hadnt failed my year 3,
I wouldnt have the chance to attend this year's Asia Conference. (Perfect timing)

Because of one failure...
Blessings came. Everything just flowed into place.

Im not saying you should fail in order to be blessed,
Its about how when you fall, you fall forward,
Its about how when you fail, you fail in faith, believing that God is always faithful, always on time, always good.

I have NEVER, not once, doubted God.
People can say what they want, how I wasted one year,
But now when they see the blessing that comes along with obedience,
What can they say?

I am happier than Ive ever been, Im more closer to God than Ive ever been.

Friends..

It is not effort that pleases God (even though its good to try our best)
It is not ability or talent that pleases God (even though its always better to be equipped)
It is not even spirituality that will please God (even though its crucial)

Without FAITH, it is impossible to please God!

Im not blessed, because Im 'older',
Im not blessed, because Im more spiritual,
Im not blessed, because God likes my face,
But one thing I will say...

I am blessed, because I am stubborn,
I am spiritually...HUNGRY.

You want so many things in your life,
You pray for so many things, hope for so many things,
And even work hard for so many things..

But do you REALLY want them?
How can you glorify God with those things you wish for?

My cg members who are close to me will know, sometimes I can get really emo at times. Not because bad things happened in my life, but because Im not satisfied with certain things in my life, I get frustrated.

People can say Im weak, Im easily stumbled, emo king, unrealistic, whatever..

Thats just how desperate and hungry I am, for the things of God.
What about you?

What is on your mind everday, every second of the day?

To me, my celgrp is always on my mind, my friends are always on my mind, my guitar is always on my mind...GOD!!!...is always on my mind.

How do I do it? Passion.

Without the fire of passion,
Everything you do, your 'incense', is just mere DUST!

Yes, love is not an emotion,
Love is a choice.

Is your love for God based on emotion, circumstances, conditions
Or choice?

Decide this day, whom you will serve.