Wyelin!!!!!! O_O

OMG! Why must your pretty face be everywhere!?!?! AHHHHHHHH...I wanna complain!!!!
I WANNA SUE EUUUUU...

HAHAHAHA.

Sexaye..

Sorry for the outburst. I just hate to be in a situation where I have to say yes and no to 3 different people at the same time. Like, all 3 people are important and mean alot to me? Sigh.

I wish I could make everyone happy, but sorry, I cant in that particular situation. I had to choose who is the 'better' one. Like..all 3 are my close pals. O_O

Fluish, Feverish, Rants

Service was good.

Now Im down with a flu and slight fever. Havent seen the doc yet. I just feel so weak I dun wanna leave my bed.

Monday - Friday: Work from morning to night. Evening visit ahma, meet up with cg, watched movie with pranee, then I remembered going somewhere else for dinner with someone, cant rem who, and then another day, midnight jogging..

Saturday: Serve whole day, nighttime fellowship.

Sunday: Service..

Ive not slept for more than 5hrs on a single day for the entire week. Looks like its another Monday-Monday week for me. :(

Everytime Im not free, somehow I feel compelled to sacrifice more, for friendships, for people, honestly, this entire week, all the night activities, I admit deep down I was unwilling and hesitant to go for ALL of them...yes ALL. Im sorry, but thats how it was...

Didnt even get the chance to go online for the past few days, at most just for a few mins then concuss on my bed.

If I tell people Im tired, people tell me its okay, and I should sacrifice more, everytime I dont feel like doing something I feel Im being 'pushed' into doing it. I cant say no, I cant rest, I cant take ownership of my own life, someone else has to interfere and USE me to make THEMSELVES happy.

No one has ever thought of what makes me happy. Now that Ive said it, people will think Im selfish blablabla. This is the 5th time, Ive fallen sick THIS YEAR because I want to make people happy at my own expense and Im seriously sick of it.

I hate gatherings, I hate going out, especially on a weekday night, I hate meeting people, I just want to be alone, I just want to rest, I just want to be healthy. But noooo. How annoying. Everytime I want people to be there, they arent or cant be bothered. Everytime I wanna be alone, ALL of them come and bug me.

I dont mind if I have swine flu and die. I need my eternal rest. :(

Do I love the people around me? Of course I do.
Am I happy sacrificing for them? Of course I do.
But my flesh is weak, DAMN FRIGGING GODLY WEAK!

I wanna do alot of things, but Im just goddamn tired!
Screw my body! Im so disgusted by my NEWBNESS!

I wouldnt mind getting quarantined. This entire week, Ive been so tired, Im telling people around me how good it would be if I were to be given a quarantine. I can stay home, do my own things and REALLY RELAX and still get paid.

When Im tired, Im tired, okay?
Do I look like a goddamn liar to you that when I say Im tired, Im just being lazy!?!

WAKE UP! You dont know me and you never did!
Ohhhh and guess what, you will never even BOTHER TO!
You use me to make you happy, then once ure happy, you step over me.
And everytime people do that, I say nothing. I still smile.

I just pray that even though you have such low, despisable IQ, the least you could have is some common sense and conscience!

No matter how much I change for people,
People will never change for me.
Because they are unreliable.

When you say Andrew, Im sure you meant YOUR Andrew. Not the andrew that I am! Next time you want something from me, just on your printer, print a picture of my face, stick it onto your wall, kneel down and pray to that picture of me then...

Im tired, Im sick and Im frustrated. No one knows.
Im always the one pressing into people's lives, taking the initiative, being the man.

Okay, I shall end here. I really cant be bothered.
Ill just move on, with or without you.

Even God told me not to get distracted by stituations or 'friends' like that, following Him is so much better, happier and more exciting.

While people make me feel in debt,
God makes me feel in love.

Thank you Lord.

Scenery of the Day

Mind Your Body, SOS Final Bible Study, FB Status

Mind Your Body:

Frequent tanning leads to skin cancer, loss of elasticity and early wrinkles. Tanning is a form of skin damage.

People who are very high one moment and very low e next are prone to bipolar disorder or extreme mood swings. Women 20 - 40 are more prone than men.

Caused by chemical imbalances derived from drugs, alcohol, genes or stress. Perception and judgement is impaired.

Bible Study:

It was awesome. When I listened to it, and when Ps began talking about the 2nd wilderness, I mean I received it with an open heart but strangely it didnt impact me much, not that it didnt but yea.

Maybe partly cus this is not my 1st, or my 2nd wilderness, but my 4th and 5th haha..maybe more. I lost count. And each one is always harder than the previous. So for certain, I know I didnt fail the test, because Im not going in circles haha. Each wilderness was different.

Thus, itll be good to know where God is taking me to or what He's preparing for me haha.

Salvation deals with the penalty of sin.
Sanctification deals with the power of sin.
Glorification deals with the presence of sin.

Good game! Phenomenal!

From my FB:

"Was looking for 1 CDRW, I asked God to send some angels to ransack my room before I get home (how daring), and I found 3 CDRWs when I reached home. :D Had a good time talking about Ken and Ryu! LOL. God, you're cool man. Lets get together again sometime! :)"

Thats how I relate to God haha. We can chat with anything and everything under the sun, moon, erm..sky...whatever lol. No one can, okay, not to sound mean, no one...has ever spent quality time thats even close to the quality of time I spend with God :D

Even if I have nothing, I would still be the happiest person in the world.

How about you?

Worse than fools

God doesnt move in your life because He has no room to. It's always about you! The moment you think your body or the slightest detail in your life belongs to you, the moment you even think you own anything in this world, you have become more foolish than a fool!

So stop complaining. Life wont change with time, life changes only when your thinking changes.

Deeper in Love

SONG

One thing that I desire
In my life Lord
To thirst and hunger
After You alone
With all my heart and soul
With all my strength and love
To worship as Your glory
Fills this place

Deeper in love with You
Deeper in love with You
I love You more than anything in life
Deeper in love with You
Deeper in love with You
Oh how I love You Lord

THOUGHTS

In the wilderness. most of time, one will feel alone, left out, friends going further and further away, etc.

In the day, Im working hard serving people by providing for people, for the financial needs of others.

In the night, Im serving my family by visiting ahma and praying for her. She's discharged btw, but she's on some HEAVY medication, like more than 20 pills per meal, and I saw the tablets, the maid showed me one PLASTIC BAG full of TABLETS and CAPSULES! :S When I saw it I was like binding the devil, its so sad and scary can? o.o

On the weekends, its church, cg and ministry. Im tired, and drained, but somewhat happy on the inside to be able to be a blessing to people.

Just now after my midnight jog with Shi, I was walking home and just talking to God, I was literally tearing all throughout my journey home. What a romantic night. Just me and God. Somehow, I just felt all the emptiness in me suddenly became filled slowly. Not completely, but at least its enough to last me for the next day. =O

Im starving of the very thing I sacrifced the most...sometimes I just dont say it.

Just like one of the song says, "Im filled to be empty again..."

Eh, very long never blog!

Firstly, thanks wyelin for the snacks. I wasnt expecting anyone to buy me anything for my birthday and you did that even though it was belated. Wo bei mo le haha. Apart from the cg gift and the dinner my parents treated me to, no one else gave me anything. You were the second.

And you called me your mentor in your blog.. awwwww *melts haha. Thanks thanks..I never saw myself as a mentor, just an ordinary friend. :D To have a disciple, ohhh Im so humbled, Im the most humble person that Im humbled by my own humility... LOL! PS kong's joke.. okay never mind, that was totally random O_O.

And since pranee asked, I shall share something I forgot to. Haha.. I have an experience, but not a weird one haha.

It was an encounter last week during my movie outing with my poly peeps. Well, they were supposed to meet up at 630 I think.

I remembered, I made my way down, only to realise they had changed the location without informing me. Honestly, I was quite frustrated. But I never say anything, just smile only..haha..but inside was like...yea.

Anyway, I asked for directions to take bus from parkmall to cineleisure. Cus you know im not a bus guy. Since I thought it was quite near and more feasible to take a bus, I decided to go ahead with it anyway.

First person I asked, he told me, oh, every bus should go. WOW. Thats the most killer statement ever. Hahaha. No offense but, I saw some buses turning to somewhere else. Hmm. Every bus should go. You no need to think about it, straight away, you know, that wont happen lol.

Another friend told me to take this bus, okay. I boarded. "When to alight?" "Er..I dunno ah, sorry, I busy now". WAH!

I went in circles around town, I ended up walking everywhere, eventually I gave up, I took the train. Realised I was 15min late for the movie. You can imagine how fuming I mustve been on the inside, here I am, supposed to be salt and light, have a spirit of excellence, and Im the only christian in the group and Im late!

When I walked, I walked suuuper fast, because firstly, I was late, secondly because I was damn frustrated. That was when I remembered what Thomas said, whatever trials God puts you through, if you cannot take it, just try. NEVER COMPLAIN. Because God is good, even when you dont feel like!

Its just like today's sermon about childish thinking in the eyes of God the Father.

So I composed myself, dont complain, dont complain, everything will be okay..etc. And Holy Spirit was like telling me, "Do you trust me?" I said "Yes..but..Im already late. 15mins late. Time cannot be reversed :S"

And Holy spirit just replied: Then dont complain. Do you trust me?

Seeing the odds against me and thinking this must be the craziest response Ive ever made, I said, "Yes Lord..even if this seems like a huuuuge joke to me.."

On one hand, Im saying to myself, God I trust you.
On the other hand, another voice says, you're already 15mins late, even if you watched the movie, you wouldnt get it. You've wasted your trip, and your energy.

But HS prompted to me to call one of my friends, I was prepared to tell her Im late and I was ready to apologise, maybe even backing out and paying the money for the tickets. Apparently, something astounding happened, she told me, she's still at raffles. Im like huh? Then how...

And she said...."Oh, they change the timing to the next show (which is 1hr from the time I called).." I WAS AWESTRUCK! You had no idea the relief or the shock I was in!!!! I was like..."OHHH MY GAWWWD, Holy Spirit you gotta be kidding me! Like that also can!"

Yes, they changed the timing, WITHOUT teling me! Just like how they changed the venue without telling me!

First I was angry.
Now they made the same 'mistake', I was relieved and thankful.
How God is able make all things work for good!

And Holy Spirit whispered, "You ah..told you so..."

And I was dumbfounded. I didnt know how to reply Him. I was completely broken before Him. How foolish of me. O_O

Father's day service and SOS was awesome. Dad and mum came. Cant wait for this thursday's final lesson on Mature Love and of course, my long awaited, OVERNIGHT PRAYER MEETINGS thats coming soon! WOOHOO!

June is almost over! Wahaha. Very soon I can countdown my ORD date with my hands already (yea, like in months o.o)! Which is like..after FOP and national day. I cant wait for ORD, and then Ill have a few months of break or maybe take up part time work and then enrol into 2011 SOT intake. Cus I ORD in june 2010 Ill miss the 2010 intake.

In fact, I ORD exactly on Asia Conference. How cool huh and I have a feeling my 23rd birthday would be during the conference itself...I hope. We still dunno the date but its definitely around the same week, June 9- June 10, around there.

23rd birthday....ahhhh.....aging!!!!

Movie, Weird China People, Sims 3

Went to watch movie on sunday night with poly gang TS, Weiqiang, Yiwen, Ivy and Liyun. Watched land of the lost. Not bad, overall I rate it 4/5 =DD haha.

Anyway, there was this incident after the movie, while we were on our way to have out dinner, this lady suddenly approached me and started to promote this pink salt thing. Well, she spoke in mandarin and you know my china isnt very good either.

So I understood salt, and health. So I figured it must be some health product, then she was like rubbing my hands non-stop. Eventually, I told her I had to rush with my friends so she was like orh, okay. And she didnt want to let go of my hand :$ and kept smiling. ah! =/

So out of curiousity I saw the pink salts, smelt of strawberry..mmmm..yummy. Put a small dot into my mouth. I think my taste buds died. My friend was like.."OMG!!! THAT IS FACIAL SALT!!!!"

O________________O dammmmmmmmmmmmm! lol.

Spent 10 bucks on some fish n chips lol. This is what happens when u hang out with working people :O hahaha. Everyone can afford, so chiong. lol arrgh ;x

Anyway, while we were walking outside Cineleisure, I saw this huuuuge China lady. Dressed in pink dress and tied a double pony tail. Like some china doll. The only thing is, its one HUUUUGE china doll!

It was so grotesque I could hardly even look o.o Only to realize later that yiwen was telling me, 'You got see just now the guy anot?' ... "HUH!?!?! GUY!?!??!!" O__________________O

Dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! lol.

And mind you, he....she...it.....whatever/whoever, that person was like 1.8m tall! Imagine a pink dress with boobs and huge waistline skirt with double ponytail, omg, this one overkill ET man!

Anyway, today had dinner at Jack's Place with parents to celebrate my bdae. Thanks E420 for the gift. Thanks to all you guys, your wishes and all.



Yes..I finally have it! LOL!! I rate it 12/10! haha. Yes...its my birthday and I buy my own present. So amazing right haha.

Lust VS Love; Immaturity VS Maturity

What is lust? Lust is natural.
It is the desire to benefit self at the expense of others.

What is love? Love is not an emotion, love is a decision!
It is the desire to benefit others at the expense of self, even if it means getting nothing in return!

When the fire of trials come, how would you normally respond to it?

They say God is more interested in your character than your comfort.
In a sense, how you react first, is more crucial than how you actually overcome it.

That short second, that brief moment, where a person first responds to any crisis, already shows the heart and the attitude of that person. Its not the process of the trial.

The process of the trial only strengthens who you already are.
But the response of the trial reflects who you really are.

Only when you've gone through the 'reaction' phase, only then will God start to shape you based on His 'assessment' of you. Its like saying, how does one know where to go, unless he knows where he already is?

For the immature, when they are feeling down.
Very often, they think about what they feel, and how they want to feel better, etc.
They are selfish, irresponsible, unaccountable and think only about themselves.

Have you heard people who say:

"Do you know how I feel?"
"I dont care, I want to do what I want."
"I am doing this, because that is what I feel."
"I want to this, because I think its right."

Sounds like a kid.

In the first place, who are we to even think we are anything in our own eyes?
Even the wisdom of man is like foolishness to God!

Its like, when they put their heart into something, they really put all their heart into it, so much so that they no longer have the capacity in their heart for others. Again, balance is the key.

When they are down, they cant be there for others, they cant encourage, they cant serve, they cant give, they cant love, etc, they just have no mood!

Who ever said you should live according to your mood?

Obedience is never defined by mood or emotions.
Obedience is defined by character.

Obedience is:

You dont have to feel loved, to love.
You dont have to feel encouraged, to encourage.
You dont have to be prosperous, to give.
You dont have to be knowledgeable, to teach.
You dont have to be stable, to counsel.

Ive always lived with the mentality that how can one give what he/she has not received?
To an extent, that is true. But I realized, that is low level thinking!

God is love. God = Love.
Its amazing how we can replace every word ("God") in the bible with the word ("Love") and vice versa.

God is great.
Love is great!

God is merciful.
Love is merciful!

God created the universe out of nothing.
Love created the universe out of nothing!

God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we can ask or think.
Love is able to do exceedingly abundantly, above all we can ask or think!

Friends, you dont need to have something in order to give it!
That is obedience. That is real love.

What is love?
Love is the desire to benefit others at the expense of self.
Even if it means getting nothing in return!

Jesus didnt love because He received love.
He love because He IS love!

You dont need faithful friends to be faithful. Just do it!

When a mature person is hit with a crisis, even though he or she is feeling down, that person can still bring life to death, healing to sickness, faith to the doubtful, encouragement to the discouraged, joy to the sad, etc.

And that person may not even have his/her own emotional needs met, nevertheless, with true love, comes true obedience. That person is able to have a greater capacity to love, to give, to encourage, to support to serve...so much to the extent, even when people look at him, its as if they have no problems at all.

That is when your problems become smaller and smaller.
Because what a person sows, that he will also reap.
He who waters others will he himself be watered.

You will never have what you gain,
You will only have what you give.

Very often, in the wilderness, God responds the moment you make a prayer, "Change me", "Mould me", "Take me to the next level", etc. At that moment, what is important to you?

Maybe it is 'time' that means the most to you. And because you need time and time is important to you, that wilderness will require that very thing from you.

Or maybe you need finances desperately, and God puts you into that wilderness. And next thing you realize, you have to give finances more than you ever did before.

What do you need today?

Dont wait until you have it before you can give it.

Take the first step. You didnt become holy before Jesus died for you. He gave first!
He died, while we were yet sinners. That, is love, that, is obedience. That, is faith.

Maybe you're feeling down, and you have another friend going through the same thing.
Be Jesus today, stop getting distracted. Stop thinking about yourself.
Oh God, feed me, feed me, feed me...

Its time to stop asking God to feed you and start learning to take the spoon and eat yourself.
And ask Him to give you the capacity to feed others.

Dont be a spiritual baby, that never grows.
There is a time and a season for everything.
Now is the time to rise up and stop wallowing in self pity.

Your life will never change with time, your life changes only when your thinking changes.

Dont just be happy, be Jesus.

Celebrity Weekend, Encounters

FIR, Vanness Wu, Liu Geng Hong, Miss Taiwan, 2 Miss Singapores, 1 Miss Indonesia International, Ocean Ou De Yang, Jacelyn Tay, Niu Nai (Milk), and many more, it was so awesome!

Its one thing to hear them sing, its one thing to watch them dance, its another thing to hear their personal stories and how their lives got changed by the power of God. It was simply awesome and Jacelyn's testimony and encounter was just mind-blowing. And I thought Ps Kong's encounter was dramatic enough..man..hers was more extreme! lol. But awesome!

Things they would otherwise, only share outside of the camera of the entertainment industry. Its sad, yet at the same time, its encouraging to see them rise up and step out, because in the entertainment industry, your 'managers' or 'producers' - the industry itself, decides what it wants to show. But these guys have impacted people and cities.

Vanness Wu and the Miss Indon's anointing was wow man! Simply phenomenal! Young, talented, good people, carrying the anointing of God just like that....*Hunger!!! :O

Last night I had some demonic attack in the middle of the night, for a brief moment.

I woke up around 3-4am plus suddenly short of air. I remembered I was gasping, I tried to inhale deeply to breathe but I just felt very little air entering my lungs, I was inhaling real fast and real hard!

The feeling inside is..I dont know how to describe man, its as if someone was holding onto your windpipe and squeezing it.

You can breathe, you have no problems, no pain, just that inside the windpipe its so tight, no matter how hard you inhale its just so hard. Its like breathing in through half the diameter of a straw! :x But eventually the windpipe 'loosened' or that similar feeling of release. :S

Gosh...

Anyway, was doing QT just now, it was awesome! I cried, I talked, I bound spirits...VERBALLY. Yea, I tried. At first its weird and uncomfortable, but eventually, God moved and the anointing was just immense inside my room. ;) Awesome.

Praying verbally is challenging, saying the words out, like talking to air, but I know He listens. Even though I looked silly and uncomfortable, at least I know Im stepping out. And its late at night, I cant scream and command demons as aggressively as I could in a corporate setting, but still, its the encounter!

The ginosko...=)

You become who you follow.

My Wilderness Experience

Today marks the 378th day of my wilderness experience. It all started in June 2008 before I enlisted, when I first heard the news. One year has passed, he fought his battle. He finished his race. But now, its round 2. The same symptoms and emotions Im seeing from her, were the exact words, the exact emotions ah gong had before he passed on.

Fear began to grip me, it felt like it was gonna happen again.
I felt this before, and I felt it again today.

I dont know what the future holds, Ive lost every part of me. Im like a huge recycled glass bottle that has broken again and again. So many fragments in my soul that at times, I no longer recognize myself. Things I do, things I say, sometimes Im not even aware of myself. One moment, Im one way, the next moment, Im someone else.

Not that Im double-minded. My mind has always been the same. Its just that my body cant contain it anymore. Its full to the brim. So frustrations, negativity, etc, they just overflow out. People who know me, I dont get angry easily or frustrated.

Its just that Im so used to keeping it all inside, all because Im afraid of hurting people, its like keeping dirty water in a bottle.

During today's bs, God began to speak to me about my situation.

The wilderness experience. What a great word Ps Kong has spoken. And to realize my demons and battles are so great. Fighting the spirit of death not once, but twice. He just doesnt know when to give up does he?

Afterall, Ive been through 2 demonic encounters when I was still a teenager (when I was still in E110), so I guess, I wasnt meant to have an easy battle right from the start. Yet amidst them all, I know my destiny is great. I know of people who have their loved one passed away, but the possibility of losing 2 in a year? I dont know of anyone else.

Yet I believe she will be well. Just some depression, psychosomatic illness. Scans all turned out negative. Symptoms are on and off. I can understand and sympathize with the trauma of losing someone whom uve married to for over 20-30 years.

Its like a part of you died. No matter how strong a person is.

Not only loved ones are leaving, even friends, most of which are church friends. One moment they're there, next moment, when you're in the valley, its too dark, they walk away. And its been happening so regularly, it doesnt matter to me anymore.

And true enough, God began to speak to me during the bs, when ps began to preach about the baptism of fire, to burn away all the chaffs. I began to realize God is re-programming my relationships, and getting rid of those that are unnecessary or damaging to me.

No offence to people, its just the work of God, I cant do anything, I cant say anything. I have no power over relationships that are sovereign. Whether people are there or not doesnt really matter anymore, I love God more than anyone, and I let Him do what He wants with my life. I even give Him the authority to choose my friends for me.

Recently, God has been doing some adjustments in my life, shuffling of relationships, testings everywhere, yes, Im tired. Like ps said, in the wilderness, its just me and God, fighting the battle alone most of the time.

No matter how hard people try to tell me, they will be there for me, they just arent at there at the end of the day. I dont know if God is stopping them or its just the way some people are.

Yet, Im thankful to God for everyone He's placed in my life. Whether they still around or not doesnt matter anymore.

Things happen because of decisions made.
Things dont happen because of decisions not made.

Like the manhood conference mentioned, its not about what you want, its not even about what you think or intend to do, manhood is asking, at the end of the way, what have you done?

All I know is I did my best to provide, to care, to serve, to lay down my life, to counsel, to encourage blablabla, yabbadabbadoo (gosh, its getting to me! lol). Like Jesus, I have to carry my cross, even if it means being like a rose, trampled on the ground..just like the song "Above All" says...

If I dont say this, Ill be lying, but at times when God cant find someone to use, He will always find another. Its like, for every wrong friendship, God always brings in new ones. God doesnt stay passive. God moves according to your faith, not your need.

Brokenness is one word to describe today.

So much so that during the last worship song that we sang, after I got up from my knees, I felt a surge of heat just burst out from within my body. One split second, I felt it, *WHOOSH! Just like that.

And Timo got the cg to pray for me, the moment Prija laid hands on me, she felt fire on the back of her neck and I think Sean was mentioning that when he touched Prija's neck, he felt electricity. I didnt know I had so much 'stuff' in me lol. People touching me, feeling fire, feeling electricity, etc. Honestly, sorry guys but I felt nothing..BUT....I knew God has done something.

But really spiritually Im low-batt, like my anointing is getting drained every week lol. Cus every week for the past one year, if not once in two weeks, I will be in the hospital laying hands. Only the past 6 months I started visiting the hospital like almost every other day, laying hands and praying.

I know pastor lay hands like many times in one service, but I get to lay hands EVERY WEEK for ONE YEAR. Gosh! Even im amazed at how much capacity I had lol. But you can imagine, out of the hundreds of times, most of the time, nothing happens. Imagine if Im not strong, the discouragements I would have to deal with. :S

But by the grace of God, even though nothing happened, I still trust and obey, for there's no other way. But when things do happen, they range from "no more pain" to "total discharge from hospital" and the it seems the 'discharging anointing' was upon me for sometime lol.

Imagine I go round pray for every patient during that same day, I think next day the whole ward can empty already o.o

I would really like to thank Timo for offering to pray for me, I cant rem the last time I had people lay hands on me lol. Im surprised Ive come so far even without people laying hands and praying for me. :X

But I wanna thank those whove been praying for me and all. Just pray for faith, hope, love..the zoe life of God to come into my ahma once again. More than the physical healing, pray for emotional healing. I have a feeling once she's back up again, naturally the sickness will go. Cus these symptoms only occur after my ahgong went home.

And you dont need IQ to conclude its depression and that its psychosomatic.

So people who get stressed alot easily, better watch yourself. You may be fine now, but if you dont adjust your attitude now, next time when you're old, you're gonna start feeling the effects of it.

Happiness is a choice.

Everytime you see me smile, its not just because Im happy,
But its a small fight in me that says, "I havent given up".

And I wont. God and me, we will whip the devil so hard, everytime he sees me and God together he will feel and remember the pain. You have no idea who you're pissing off.

You're attacking me simply because you're scared!

Speaking of which, if your life is 'okay' only, you better start thinking, is the devil scared of you? Then again, if he is, are you ready to fight?

I was a fool to think I could heal anyone.
I was a fool to think I could encourage anyone.
I was a fool to think I could motivate anyone.
I was a fool to think I could provide for anyone.
I was a fool to think my blog could impact people.

All these while, it was You Lord!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh yes, this week I gave another $50 away.
Andrew, stop it already, you think money grow on trees?
No I cant, sorry. lol.

Pay Day!

Pay is out! $650! Imma get me some Sims 3! Woohoo! lol.

BS tmr!!!

Randoms

Im so happy. I created my first virus! Woohoo! Haha. Who wanna be my first tester? :P I swear Ill be nice. LOL.

Anyway, just received news that as of now, rightfully and lawfully I own my grandparents' property together with my ahma since ahgong has passed away.

So in the eyes of the government, I do own a property, so in other words, I wont be able to buy any house as long as my name is under my grandparents' property.

Taking full day leave tomorrow. Everyone's having camp so I probably guess I wont be going out with anyone for the whole day :x Guess Im destined to be alone. Sigh.

Everybody's asking me to rest and take a break. The sad thing is, the devil wont let me. For the past 12 months, Ive done nothing except working, serving, giving, visiting and laying hands and praying. I dont even have time to go out.

Im tired of being 'your' Andrew. I wanna be me. I wanna be God's Andrew.

Morning PM has been great so far. I want more, I need more...






I hate imeem.

God, Service, Comp, Nose bleed, Ah ma

First off, ahma's back in hosp :( Leg pain and lack of strength again. And oh, just now I was playing my guit, I played until nose bleed lol. I guess for some reason my blood pressure went up slightly and the capillaries in my nose went *Burst! :O

Service 4 was awesome! Think its better than s1, s2 and s3 combined haha. Preached on the prayer of justice and God, being the highest judge in the highest court. Man. Mind blowing! And oh, I got to sit with the musicians. =D Haha, the usher led me there. I was like..man, I feel I belong here..LOL. Hmm.

This morning, I woke up, was playing my comp and attempted to be hero and try to modify the theme files (for skinning of course), end up, I corrupted my own system files and because the file was ''in use'', I couldnt revert the changes nor modify it.

I was in a state of shock and fear. What if I need to reformat? Where am I going to get my recovery disk? I dont have a vista CD with me and buying one original would cost hundreds. What about all my files? Ahhh.

I was panicking literally.

True, enough, I restarted comp and *Bam! Unable to locate file, blablabla unable to initiate, Windows failed to load etc. Thats is. :S

All I did then was to ask God, ..."How?"

Eventually within an hour, Holy Spirit began to give me revelations about the analysis of my problem, troubleshooting and how to go about finding alternative solutions.

So I turned on my old laptop and connected to the internet, not knowing what to search for. Through the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I arrived a several sites, yet none of them seem to offer a solution until, I stumbled across one which mentioned about the command line interface, aka Command Prompt.

Using the command prompt, I was able to access my windows files, and manually, by typing (Gosh!), modify my contents and patch up the corrupted file.

And in less than 2hrs, my comp was up and running again and its even faster than before somehow, had to replace certain files, remove the corrupted ones thus, smoother. It felt fresh and new again. PTL.

Because, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I managed to save like between $150 to $200 on the original Vista. Then again, I couldve gotten XP if I wanted to...which I really had the urge since Vista, still...sucks! lol. Games cant play, error here and there, dang!

All vista is good for, is that its just good for show. Period. Its like a lady with a waistline of 150, wearing a gstring. It disgusts me.

Anyway, this could be a financial testimony too since I saved like hundreds of dollars which is like 10 times my offering. Speaking of which, I began to realize, its because of the double portion of offering that I gave on sat service, that allowed God to move in such a way that I saved hundreds of dollars! Woohoo! PTL.

For some reason, I didnt feel tugged, or 'impressed' to give double. I just did it for fun. Yea, hard to believe, I doubled my offering, just for fun, knowing whats there to lose? ;) It was like..after we prayed for the offering, I saw another note in my pocket. I thought to myself: One note left...haiya, just give all la..LOL!

After receiving a double portion from the double services I went, Im really excited for morning PM later! =)

[Rants]_Oxymoronic Religiosity

Some people have trouble believing God can provide for you, but they believe in Jehovah Jireh.

Some people have trouble believing God can bless you financially, and that the bible 'only' talks about heavenly riches, yet they pray, "let Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven".

The bible is not written by cavemen playing tictactoe in the mountains.
Its written by successful kings and prophets. People who are rich and influential, in positions of power and authority!

Its takes an intelligent individual to serve an intelligent and all-knowing God.

Some people can't believe God can heal but they believe Jesus cleansed the leper.

Some people dont believe in speaking in tongues, but they believe the Holy Spirit came and baptized the disciples in the upper room on the day of pentecost and they spoke in tongues. I dont recall anyone interpreting all their tongues.

Who's your target audience?

If its a prophetic word or an exhortation from God to men, yes, we need an interpretation.
Its its personal prayer and worship from the Holy Spirit; Your inner man, to God, you think God's so dumb that he cant interpret your heart and spirit Himself?

Its as if it's like God in the burning bush, talking to Moses:

God: Moses! My chosen one. I have a word for you. Build yourself up, and trust in me...
Moses: What is it Lord?
God: Erm, why am I (the bush) on fire?
Moses: ..... HAAAAAARRRRRR???????? !!O.O!! *Accidentally drops his staff down Mt Sinai.

Some people believe, to be holy, is to be poor, wear 'holey' clothes, or like John the Baptist, retrict their food, only eat locust and honey, etc. But they believe they are formed in the image and likeness of God (who owns everything, sits on a throne of precious stones, wears a robe that fills the temple, who created gold in the garden of Eden and said, 'it was good'.). What an insult.

"Ohhh, thats spiritual gold." - Right. There's also spiritual money with Yusof Ishak's face on it. o.o Why not just buy hell notes? "Ohhh Im so holy, ohhhh Im so rich. Spiritual monnehhhh..!" Oh yes, at the same time, buy those plastic apples and eat them too. Very healthy. Spiritual apples.

No, wait, there's also spiritual clothes! Yes. After showering, and putting on your clothes. Do take a lighter and light yourself on fire. Wow..Im so spiritually clothed. O.O

You want spiritual house? Also can, take some kerosene...

Dont put God in a box. God is so big and creative, dont put him inside a bottle and make Him your genie.
"Ohhh bless me, ohhh heal me, ohhhh save me....
Ohhh ohhh ohhh..." You having orgasm is it? o.o

Dont conform the Word to your lifestyle, conform your lifestyle to the Word.

God's not dead that He cant speak.
God's not deaf that He cant hear.
God's not weak that He cant save.
God's not poor that He cant provide.
God's not so sick that He cant heal.

People who believe man evolved from monkeys are indirectly saying, Jesus, who was 100% God and 100% man, is also an evolved form of a monkey. So, I guess you believe in the monkey god now.
"WOOOOAAATAH! Ohio..! Watashi wo..Sun Wu Konggggg!" O.O

Some people believe, God heals and gives sickness at the same time.
You think God's some businessman out there to 'balance the market'?
Either you're with Him or against him, hot or cold. Whats the 'balance' in that?

Yes we need balance in our lives, but when it comes to maturity, you got to make up your mind.

He was nailed for our sins, scourged and striped for our sickness and diseases.
EVEN IF, He allows things, to say that He sends/creates sickness is a different thing!

So the devil is the healer now?
Actually in the last days, he can. Through false prophets. How then, will we be able to tell the difference?

"All good things come from God.."

"Ohhh..God sent a curse to punish the people.." So now you pray to satan for deliverance?

Everyone can say they believe in God, even Satan believes in God.
Satan also stood beside God and led a group of angels before!
He had encounters, he even experienced heaven!

Everyone can say they know the bible, Satan memorized the bible long before you were even born.
He was even a one of the 'superstars' in the bible!

Just look at the terrorists today, just because of one verse in the Kuran, that God punishes and kills His enemies, they took it upon themselves to follow likewise, literally, word for word. So they believe what they do is right. Simpleton and narrow-minded.

Like God is so weak that He needs your help? O.O

God is not a formula.
He is a person!

Christianity is not a religion.
Its a lifestyle, a relationship!

You can know the word of God,
And yet not know the God of the word.

Not all roads lead to the same mountain.

Walk the narrow way.

My Youngest Encounter, Ahgong, Younger Days

Hmm, since wyelin asked, I suddenly remembered an encounter even before I came to chc. It was like during my sunday school days, but back then, I didnt really consider myself a christian, since it was just religion, duty to me and I hadnt had the ability to reason or have any form of relationship with this 'God' at that time.

And so, I remembered once, when I was young, at the main road below my ahma's house's block, think I was waiting for someone to alight, cant rem if it was my parents or someone.

I was the short, round, specky guy. No need to imagine so hard, just visualize a ball. =O

And so, I was opening the taxi door, standing on the double yellow line, just at the kerb. Whoever I waited for, has alighted, I closed the door. Hmm, now I cant remember. Was I waiting for someone to alight or to accompany someone to see e person off? :S

Anyway, I was at the double yellow line, closing the door. And I remained there. Looking into the cab curiously, not knowing that my feet was in between the front the rear tyres, placed under the taxi. I think the driver didnt know I was there, so he drove off.

And the moment he did, I felt something went on top of my feet. It wasnt painful. I was wearing slippers btw. This was in pri sch or kindergarten days cant rem. I was small, short, round, thats it lol.

And so, I felt something go over my foot. Instinctively, I looked left, right, at my foot, to see what it was. I saw nothing on my feet nor in the vicinity of the kerb. It felt like a 1.5l plastic bottle rolled across my foot.

And I saw the cab, a distance off, already driven away.

I thought to myself back then, 'oh, the taxi ran over my foot'. And I walked off to went to buy my tidbits. I guess at that time, I had no concept thinking that a car driving over my foot would hurt. Ive not seen it happen before, it didnt even exist in my brain. I was just the boyboy, who loves to eat and doesnt like people to talk to him.

I could still remember that day...ahgong brought me to the arcade to play, like he always does, every weekend when Im there... He would give me 2 dollars, 5 dollars, walk me to the arcade at queensway shopping centre, I could still remember the name: Circus Circus. There would be 1 at level 1, another at level 3, outside Macs.

I would divide the money equally and go to both. Each time, ahgong would walk me there, follow me into the arcade and see me play. He would always be smiling, with one hand holding my hand..with another hand, holding an umbrella to help him walk... :'(

Sometimes he would give me 10 dollars, which I said I dont want, yes..at that age (pri sch) I already felt bad taking money from people, but he would still insist, so I kept it for the week after...

Because he dotes on me the most, he would sometimes give me more than he gave my brother. I would accept it just so I could see him smile, but later in the week, I would still give the remaining extras to Anthony.

Looking back, I really dont know how to thank God enough. For all He's done for me even before I knew Him, for all the people in my life...I remembered I used to hate my dad when I was young, now I love him and Im able to understand why he did or said the things he did/said.

But when I did hated him, back then, AhGong would be my role model. Mummy too. Sometimes, they wouldnt say much, all they did was give and I felt loved everytime they gave, whether is it finances or time. So since young, Ive always wanted to give because I like it when people smile.

Now, having grown up, I realized that both mummy and daddy are givers. Even as a young boy, even if I couldnt feel the love, yet one thing I felt was the sacrifice and the giving. And that has immesed into my being, since young and Ive grown up with it.

I grew up, feeling lousy about myself, cus I was fat and ugly and no one would befriend me. I didnt like talking to people and didnt like to be talked to. I had this perception that anyone who opens their mouth or talks to me will make me cry, and whoever I talked to, will also make me cry. So I avoided people.

Who wouldve known that now, the quiet, lonely boy is now interpreting dreams, giving revelations, giving money away like bananas, laying hands and praying for the sick.

You can never reason God, you can never explain God.
You can only live God out.

CHC - One Life, One Love

Who am I
That You would know me from the start
Set me apart
Who am I
That You would place eternity
Into my heart

You have given to me
More than this world could give
My purpose is found in You

One life, I lay at Your altar
One love, I have with You
Touch me again
Fill me as You hold
My outstretched hands
One word, You know I will follow
One heart, broken to You
Use me again
Your mercies follow me
For all my days

In Your presence
In Your power
Holy Spirit I surrender

CG Member's Encounter

From a fellow member:

"Hey andrew! I had a dream, need to ask u agn abt ur dream n hw Jesus looks like, cuz Im nt sure if thats Jesus whom I saw in my dream, and I think Holy Spirit is tugging me to talk to u! Im gonna slp now, will msg u agn tmr k! Slp well, nites!"

When I received it, I got excited man. I mean, its one thing to dream of Jesus and heaven, its one thing to hear from God and see visions, but its another thing when God sends someone to you! lol.

I mean, what am I gonna say? If suddenly someone tells me, 'I think Holy Spirit is tugging me to talk u u!', haha how am I supposed to react? This is the first time, HS actually sends someone to me regarding a dream. Like...wow. Haha. Or rather, its been awhile since anything like this happened. :O

And this person I know, has supernatural encounters before.

A few months ago, she dreamt of Michael the archangel, then after waking up, went to the kitchen to prepare food, while standing in front of the stove, the glass pot in front of her exploded because of the heat I think, everywhere was glass pieces. They flew to the left, to the right, some behind her, but at the place where she stood, there was no trace of glass fragments at all! Best thing was, her face was like right in front of the pot!

Its like an invisible shield, and best thing was, because the pot exploded, she got shocked and unknowingly, stepped across the glass fragments on the floor and ran away from the stove. But not a single cut was sustained! And she remembered the dream, with Michael, God's General in Command, the archangel.

I guess God likes to draw like-minded people haha.

When you hang around true prophets, people who encountered God, God can flow so easily, just like that. There is power in agreement. We may not have the same mindsets or personalities, but we have one thing in agreement, and that is supernatural encounters.

You become who you follow, man, when I heard her testimony, I wowed. Deep down, I wanted that and I was willing to do whatever it takes, just to live the life she lived.

With normal people, I dont get messages like, "HS is tugging me to talk to u", or "can you help me interpret my dream?", never. lol. Its only in the company of people with commonalities, that God begins to move in that area.

I may not club or dance or love parties, I may like solitude and quietness, but I live in heaven on earth and I think thats more fun and exciting than anyone or anything in this world can offer.

And its during those moments of tranquility that Im able to hear that still small voice. Where nothing at all is on my mind, just me, fully open, fully available, for God to use. Not even friends are on my mind sometimes, cus, in reality, I dont have much either. lol.

They're either moved on in life (cus for someone my age, Im really slow! Still NS! Sigh), or theyve disappeared the moment Ive been used to meet their need. Im like a vending machine, only when they need something, they come to me. What they feel, they dont share, things in their life they dont share, I may have many buddies, but Im not sure if Im anyone's buddy..lol.

Anyway, tmr is friday already! Yeah. Churchwide BS! :D

I want more encounters! I dont care if nobody knows or is interested haha. Im just a hopeless romantic, desperately in love with God lol. I still remember Mike Connell's altar call.

"If you have areas in your life which you want me to pray for the power to break upon, I want you to come up to the front..."

*Goes up..."God, I dont know what to break, I think I have nothing to break in my life, just touch me can already. I wanna see if the person praying for me can discern anything wrong with me LOL! Nobody needs to know, I just want You..."

Guitar Lesson + High Speed Shredding Skills