Relationships and Friendships

Certain things have been bothering me,
Certain people have been bothering me.

I came to realize, that we cant please everyone,
Neither can we be close friends with everyone.

To be a close friend, a best friend, or a lover,
Requires exclusiveness.

Why do people leave your circle of friends?
Is it always because of something you did wrong?
Not all the time.

Friends are no longer there, because they're no longer there.
Period. Its as simple as that.
They just choose to stop showing up, they just choose to stop pressing in.

And for the one who is pressing in all the time,
He gets tired and weary and eventually gives up.

Sometimes one side can get so busy, going out with this friend, that friend, and that seed of love is no longer sown into that friend whom they once looked up to or loved hanging out with.

Love is like a seed.
It has to be sown.
AFTER sowing, we have to water it regularly.

Just like friendships, you have to water it.
If you're always the taker, you enjoy having people around because you can FEEL GOOD or because you can BENEFIT, then, from the beginning, your relationship is DOOMED TO FAIL!

Thats not love! That's lust!

Oh, play with me.
Oh, give me.
Oh, follow me.

Always its about 'me' 'me' and 'me'.

Then my friends, sorry to say, it will never work.

Feeling good and loved, should be the REWARD, not the GAIN.
You dont go to people to FIND love, you go to people to LOVE and be LOVED.

What is it that you are seeking today?
Is it love? Is it fun? Is it excitement?
Well, then if thats the case, that is what you seek.

You seek love.
You seek fun.
You seek excitement.
But you DONT SEEK THE PERSON!

How you treat people, is how you treat God.

I emphasized this a lot of times, it applies EVERYTIME.
Do you just go to God when you are in need?
Are your prayers always about bless me, give me, save me, free me, heal me?
Me, me, me?

Then sad to say, you may not know it, but thats how you end up treating people as well. Relationship is not about finding the right person, but BEING the right person. Its a matter of character and attitude!

Its about having that...EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT, or EQ for short.

Many people want to change individuals, but you fail to realize that before you can change someone, you must first ACCEPT him/her for who they are!

You dont change them then accept them. NO!
You accept FIRST, then you change them.

How do I know?
Look at Jesus!

Did He say we must be perfect before we can be saved? NO!
Did He even say you must do good then you can enter heaven? STRICTLY...NO!
He paid the price FIRST, then He said, it is finished. Believe in Me and you shall be saved. Salvation is a free gift, not something you can work for.

Nonetheless, we may not be saved BY good works, but we are saved FOR good works!

He is the ultimate example.

And unless your relationship with Him is strong, unless you have a clear revelation of who God is to you, you wont be able to examplify that same love, that same relational skill to others.

Until you realize the revelation of the extent of His forgiveness, you'll find it hard to forgive.

Until you realize the revelation of the extent of His gentleness, you'll find it hard to be gentle to others.

You become loud, angry all the time, aggressive, attributes that arent even in the character of God.

Having said that, until you realize the revelation of the extent of God's CHARACTER, its hard to have that same character. We cant give what we have not received right?

True friends support each other, they build each other up.
They are always there. Just as how JESUS is always there for us.

"I will never leave you, nor forsake you"

Do we wanna be like Christ?
Then are we able to say the very things He said???

Can we say to others 'I will never leave you nor forsake you?'
Can we say to others 'Ask and it shall be given, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened'?

When it comes to commitment into relationships...

Guys, you have the part to play for setting the right vision, upholding the right standard in that relationship!

For ladies, you have the right to support the vision of that man, that is why women are called the "Helper".

If you know the guy you are attaching yourself to is a jerk, please dont be stupid and say, "even though ure a jerk, but I still love you and want you to be my boyfriend". Then, you better support his vision of being a JERK!

If there's no support, no unity, how can any relationship stand?

Thats why knowing a person is so important. Dont make commitments to be with someone, just because YOU FEEL GOOD around that person! Hello???

Then what happens the moment you dont feel good?
OOPS! Sorry. We are no longer friends.

HOW CHILDISH CAN YOU GET?

Thats the purpose of relationship! Not just having to go through the good times, but the BAD times as well.

Every relationship has to be tested in the fire. Only then, the true value of the 'Gold Ore' will be revealed.

Decide today, not just to be a taker, but a giver.
Dont just take, take, take, and then have the nerve to just WALK AWAY...living a life...IN DEBT! Yes, DEBT. Not financially, but emotional debts.

A debt, is still a debt.

Dont end up making use of others, and then later chucking them aside.

Be faithful in the little things.
And much will be added.

Decide today, to be like Jesus, and not YOURSELF.
Deny yourself right? More of Him, less of you? ;)

Oh, and when you give. You gotta let the seed die.
Only then will it be rooted in the ground and bear forth fruit.
Dont give half-heartedly, holding on to it.

Thats what it means to give unconditionally, not expecting anything in return. :)

Dont have this terms and conditions thingy,
You are having a friendship, a relationship, not a contract.