Fading
i dunno what might happen tomorrow. all i can do is to treasure the now.
i was trying to find my photos of my younger days..those days of energy, vigor, innocence, joy, laughter, great friends, those days when even though i didnt have much, id always made it through. those days when im excited about school, excited about friends, about God..those days where it seemed nothing was impossible..those days which seemed as if id rather hang on to time..
i remember chatting with a friend online..he's nt frm church, but he said one thing that impacted me greatly, even though he wasnt a believer (at tt time he also faced failures in his modules), he said: dont worry, no matter what happens i believe god will be there for us all the way...
2 modules have gone by..just like that..make that 3 in a week..luckily 2 were IS, and 1 core module. i appreciate the people around me. and im thankful for them. somehow i feel, this is my battle, i dont want to get others involved..like a warrior, ull never know when ure gonna die.
my problems, i will deal with it myself. i dont wish for anyone to interfere. ive made a mess and im gonna clean it up myself, even if it means removing the problem himself. just now i lay on my head, my pillow was wet and thoughts of suicide surrounded me..
all i thought of was how many modules ive failed in 3 yrs, how many friends who have let me down and the times i were alone. i fought with suicide for 2-3 hours, in my room, in my head. i ignored all calls, i refuse to read all SMSes.
it was when i suddenly remembered, its only at my weakest that God is e strongest. i knew tt no matter what happened God is working behind the scenes, setting me up for something. but i dont know what. at tt point..i fell into a deep sleep. i was tired, even though i woke up like 2-3 hours earlier. when i woke up, everything seemed as if nothing happened, but deep down i know the reality of my situation..
im not being emo, im just being real. how many people out there, lose friends, break one relationship after another, have people disappointed them and ppl who were offended? its all because all the people around them are merely wearing a mask. they never express what they feel, they try to be someone they're not, they try to do things they're not meant to do!!!
yes im talking to you!!!
how i know who's reading this? well, i just know. no, i dont use a IP tracer. :x
im looking for my old photos..anyone have them pls send to me. :S
i was trying to find my photos of my younger days..those days of energy, vigor, innocence, joy, laughter, great friends, those days when even though i didnt have much, id always made it through. those days when im excited about school, excited about friends, about God..those days where it seemed nothing was impossible..those days which seemed as if id rather hang on to time..
i remember chatting with a friend online..he's nt frm church, but he said one thing that impacted me greatly, even though he wasnt a believer (at tt time he also faced failures in his modules), he said: dont worry, no matter what happens i believe god will be there for us all the way...
2 modules have gone by..just like that..make that 3 in a week..luckily 2 were IS, and 1 core module. i appreciate the people around me. and im thankful for them. somehow i feel, this is my battle, i dont want to get others involved..like a warrior, ull never know when ure gonna die.
my problems, i will deal with it myself. i dont wish for anyone to interfere. ive made a mess and im gonna clean it up myself, even if it means removing the problem himself. just now i lay on my head, my pillow was wet and thoughts of suicide surrounded me..
all i thought of was how many modules ive failed in 3 yrs, how many friends who have let me down and the times i were alone. i fought with suicide for 2-3 hours, in my room, in my head. i ignored all calls, i refuse to read all SMSes.
it was when i suddenly remembered, its only at my weakest that God is e strongest. i knew tt no matter what happened God is working behind the scenes, setting me up for something. but i dont know what. at tt point..i fell into a deep sleep. i was tired, even though i woke up like 2-3 hours earlier. when i woke up, everything seemed as if nothing happened, but deep down i know the reality of my situation..
im not being emo, im just being real. how many people out there, lose friends, break one relationship after another, have people disappointed them and ppl who were offended? its all because all the people around them are merely wearing a mask. they never express what they feel, they try to be someone they're not, they try to do things they're not meant to do!!!
yes im talking to you!!!
how i know who's reading this? well, i just know. no, i dont use a IP tracer. :x
im looking for my old photos..anyone have them pls send to me. :S
posted by Androne at
4:33 PM
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