xmas coming

i cant feel anything..

i cant say anything..

i still feel as if everyday im having an unprepared exam..

theres so much to do, but have yet to be done.

for some reason, i hate, okay not hate, but feel weird being around people. ill tend to withdraw. i dont reply smses, i do answer calls..from KNOWN numbers. last night i went to e toilet come out, saw 4-5 missed calls on my phone. i smsed e person asked who are you, no reply, instead, spam call me again..i wont answer, i didnt want to.

ive lost a big part of me..that part of me ive lost is 'sociality'. yep. its gone. IHP, almost a year of 'confinement to me and my laptop', plus commontests..plus a few incidents..kaboom. no more.

i miss those days in sec sch..where everyday i never fail to laugh..those days when ill hang out at e lanshop with my sec sch frens. and i would laugh, scream and shout my heart out in a multiplayer game...those days when after sch me and my frens would rush down to the lanshop have lunch and game to our hearts content and yet still do well for our exams.

well..xmas is coming..

but i jus feel that the end is coming..=/ everyday..stone, everyday tired and shagged..arrgh! and now im financially tight as well. im thinking whether to go or not to go..