Service
service was great..
before i left home for svc i was in e shower, and as always God talks to me the most and the clearest, when im alone in e shower. when im at my most quiet, most isolated, most vulnerable point..that is..in the shower; when my mind is at the most free, unoccupied..
i kinda had lunch with the Holy Spirit after that..i was alone at home..even my maid went to my granny's hse to help out. i was eating my nasi lemak and there God spoke many things to me. He scolded and discipled me on some other things as well. He kinda talked some sense into me and im thankful to have Him as my Lord, my Teacher..
one of the things the Holy Spirit told me is that sometimes we are so occupied in searching for solutions that we fail to ASK for a solution. u cant always be spoonfed. God will only help you to a point u can help yourself.
not that He'll leave u, but He expects you to GROW UP! His grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in your weaknesses.
common tests are over but i still feel the exam stress for some reason. guess i totally forgotten what life without stress feels like. people may despise me for my failures and mistakes, they can say, 'whoa, u failed ah?', but i know God smiles when i pick myself up, because i believe in a God of the resurrection!
people can say all they want, even people close to me can see and say that ive failed..but i tell you the truth, i have not failed because i have not given up! just because you trip and fall, doesnt mean you're dead. just becuase u have a cut on ur finger doesnt mean ure stabbed. just because something falls from the sky it doesnt mean that the world is gonna end.
just because you fall doesnt mean you've failed, he who knows no fear does not know true courage, failure is not an imposition, but failure is a self-declaration. failure is not a result, failure is a choice.
do you believe in miracles? no? that's why you dont experience them.
i was surprised when tim told me, 'whoa, u failed, still can remain so calm..' i guess that's what it meant by the peace of God that surpasses all understanding..
my eyes are getting tired, every morning i wake up yawning, and i besically yawn my way throughout the day. im tired. i still have issues that ive yet to deal with. there are just some wounds that leave behind a scar, even after the 'scab' of hurt has fallen off. i dont even think e person knows who he/she is. even if he/she is, i cant be bothered.
what was once a close friendship, ive lost it all. the moment those words were said, it destroyed everything it associates itself with. there are some things i cant fix. and i dont intend to anymore. its wasting my time and energy. if u cant fix something, u replace it. what's gone is gone. face it. ive nv felt so cold before. life and death is in the power of the tongue, i understood it by going through the negative side of it.
i know and i believe God can resurrect it. but tell u the truth, i dont want it to. i dont want to have anything to do with it. just like Java.., just keep it dead. some things in my life are just best left dead and unheard of..untouched.
no point asking Mike Connell to come and pray for inner healing also..my decision is made. i wished time could be turned, but it cant. so what can i do? ill just bury it within myself. its not like ive not burried stuff within myself at all..
sometimes i wished i could just go over to another cg or something. i just want it to be erased, completely. i want my memories erased. but i know it wont be. i just wanna go home early, the more i dont see, the more happier ill be.
only Adam knows..im sick and tired of it. haunting me almost every night before i sleep. that image and those words, the expression and all. no one has ever done that to me, NO ONE. im already doing my best..and this is what i get. you have no idea what im going through, you dont understand the amount of effort i put in, the amount of time i invested..you dont know anything..and you never will!
too bad things dont disappear just like that..
apart from that, i have other problems as well..
jus chatted with a friend on MSN..haha u know who u are, just wanna say that no matter what happens, circumstances wont determine your results, only God's words are final :) know who u are and what u have :) *wink
before i left home for svc i was in e shower, and as always God talks to me the most and the clearest, when im alone in e shower. when im at my most quiet, most isolated, most vulnerable point..that is..in the shower; when my mind is at the most free, unoccupied..
i kinda had lunch with the Holy Spirit after that..i was alone at home..even my maid went to my granny's hse to help out. i was eating my nasi lemak and there God spoke many things to me. He scolded and discipled me on some other things as well. He kinda talked some sense into me and im thankful to have Him as my Lord, my Teacher..
one of the things the Holy Spirit told me is that sometimes we are so occupied in searching for solutions that we fail to ASK for a solution. u cant always be spoonfed. God will only help you to a point u can help yourself.
not that He'll leave u, but He expects you to GROW UP! His grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in your weaknesses.
common tests are over but i still feel the exam stress for some reason. guess i totally forgotten what life without stress feels like. people may despise me for my failures and mistakes, they can say, 'whoa, u failed ah?', but i know God smiles when i pick myself up, because i believe in a God of the resurrection!
people can say all they want, even people close to me can see and say that ive failed..but i tell you the truth, i have not failed because i have not given up! just because you trip and fall, doesnt mean you're dead. just becuase u have a cut on ur finger doesnt mean ure stabbed. just because something falls from the sky it doesnt mean that the world is gonna end.
just because you fall doesnt mean you've failed, he who knows no fear does not know true courage, failure is not an imposition, but failure is a self-declaration. failure is not a result, failure is a choice.
do you believe in miracles? no? that's why you dont experience them.
i was surprised when tim told me, 'whoa, u failed, still can remain so calm..' i guess that's what it meant by the peace of God that surpasses all understanding..
my eyes are getting tired, every morning i wake up yawning, and i besically yawn my way throughout the day. im tired. i still have issues that ive yet to deal with. there are just some wounds that leave behind a scar, even after the 'scab' of hurt has fallen off. i dont even think e person knows who he/she is. even if he/she is, i cant be bothered.
what was once a close friendship, ive lost it all. the moment those words were said, it destroyed everything it associates itself with. there are some things i cant fix. and i dont intend to anymore. its wasting my time and energy. if u cant fix something, u replace it. what's gone is gone. face it. ive nv felt so cold before. life and death is in the power of the tongue, i understood it by going through the negative side of it.
i know and i believe God can resurrect it. but tell u the truth, i dont want it to. i dont want to have anything to do with it. just like Java.., just keep it dead. some things in my life are just best left dead and unheard of..untouched.
no point asking Mike Connell to come and pray for inner healing also..my decision is made. i wished time could be turned, but it cant. so what can i do? ill just bury it within myself. its not like ive not burried stuff within myself at all..
sometimes i wished i could just go over to another cg or something. i just want it to be erased, completely. i want my memories erased. but i know it wont be. i just wanna go home early, the more i dont see, the more happier ill be.
only Adam knows..im sick and tired of it. haunting me almost every night before i sleep. that image and those words, the expression and all. no one has ever done that to me, NO ONE. im already doing my best..and this is what i get. you have no idea what im going through, you dont understand the amount of effort i put in, the amount of time i invested..you dont know anything..and you never will!
too bad things dont disappear just like that..
apart from that, i have other problems as well..
jus chatted with a friend on MSN..haha u know who u are, just wanna say that no matter what happens, circumstances wont determine your results, only God's words are final :) know who u are and what u have :) *wink
posted by Androne at
1:56 AM
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