2007? Or still 2005?

service was great. and the message was deep but powerful..haa.

i dunno..i still feel as if its 2005. maybe im just getting old..a bit too fast. i no longer have the youth in me anymore. hard times have made me hard, cold and collected.

just now as i was on the train on e way home, a thought just flashed across my mind:

"Quit school"

it was for a moment..but it kept on ringing..arrgh.

well..service was good..but personally e atmosphere, not tt its bad, but its just tt it could be better. and im at fault cus i have unsettled problems and i was just occupied with what the Holy Spirit talked to me in the morning. i was alone in e shower, and there i got discipled again. God, im doing my best..to love You wholeheartedly and love people fervently.

i love the people around me, but its not 'fervent' enough :x im just not fit to do certain things, and other stuff. i had not gone to school for the whole of last week.

no im not joking..i also no mood to joke anymore.

i dont think ive shared this..but recently a close friend of mine in ROSE had a rather bad christmas, i know u might be thinking hey its already 2007, fine, close your browser now. like i even care...^.O

basically, she had gone through a tough xmas, nope she's not from SG but from MY, and her dad passed on during xmas bcos of cancer. it didnt affect her a lot which got me worried, but it affected her mum greatly. i can only pray that God will give her and her mum the strength, the hope to carry on..

to tell u e truth, i have more overseas friends than local..not close friends but close enough to chat and joke around online with, and to game with. tmr serving..its been 5 weeks..cus of common test and assignment submissions..

i dont even wanna talk abt it...

sry cinth for making u wait..and thanks for the gift in advance, even though its already like the new year, ive just been at a bad spot lately. :s i cant get across until the mountain in front of me is removed..:x and i cant go round the mountain..cus im surrounded. as if im in a huge mountain-crater...

ive been thinking here and then..in e past ive been there for people..and always be the encourager and a listening ear to many..even despite what i was going through i still managed to help others but it always seemed i couldnt help myself..

now that im alone, going through things by myself, with noone to call me, msg me, PM me, there were times i thought to myself, is my sacrifice worth it, did i leave something that ppl will remember? but its ok..whenever i took time to lend a listening ear, whenever i took time to encourage someone..ive never for once did it expecting something in return..

it was something voluntary, and i never expected to be treated back e same way..so for me, its pretty okay. i have a huge 'recycle bin' inside of me anyway..lots of thrash and junk buried there.

then sometimes, ill remember one phrase in e bible: He saved others but He cant save Himself..

i know its not what it meant..but somehow, it just spoke right into me..

falling asleep now..mebbe ill coninue blogging sometime later..=X