POP

It was over for me. =( All gone. My biggest day was my biggest disappointment. Because of some idiots.

My 21st was kaput, now my POP, all the big events in my life are broken to pieces, no good memories left behind.

Friends gone, dreams gone, happiness, joy and love gone. Everything gone..

Im angry, but my face is expressionless,
Im depressed but no tears would come out.
Im still trying to smile, still trying to encourage people, still trying to love people.

Burying and pressing everything down.
All my hurts, all my pain, into my 'recycle bin'.
And I think its running out of space..

The sharp pain in my chest is back.
The last time I almost fainted, and was admitted to A&E.
Stress/Fatigue/Emotional pain, resulting in an unstable high-low blood pressure makes me feel that tight squeezing sensation in my chest.

I dont know when Im gonna collapse.
I dont wanna meet anymore people.
I dont wanna talk to anyone anymore.
I dont wanna go anywhere, or do anything.

For some reason this pain makes me feel closer to home,
Making me feel as if everything's gonna be over.

Instead of finding love and getting more hurt,
Instead of helping others and letting myself be taken advantage of,
Instead of putting in my best effort only to wear myself out,

Holding on to the pain seems the most easiest solution for me..=/
Id rather be hurt once than thrice. =(

At least..its over. Ill never have a 21st again, Ill never have a POP ever again in my life.

Im just thankful I have great parents and a super great God..these alone, are enough for me..