Service, Celgrp, Chat

Service was awesome. Really. Having confidence and faith that changes the world. A person with ultimate security doesnt need to prove anything to anyone, not even to himself. I think Im gonna record down the last part of the service.

The other time, when ps tan was preaching, I think during e worship ps derek gave a word, I have that too. Can ask me if you want :D Use for QT. Really good..especially when ure feeling down.

Yest went to T3! Haha. Like Vivocity. First time sure get lost, haha. But with Jolene sure wont get lost, because she has a good sense of direction. I realised I cannot drink too much iced cold fresh peach tea..haha..Ill go high. Thats how I got the nickname Peachbabydrew, from Cin. lol. The picture you drew still on my friendster leh..hahaha.

But when ps laid hands at e end of service yesterday, halfway I got a little worried..deep down, I really knew how hard it was to lay hands with a broken wrist and risking his voice. Deep down I was worried that Ps Kong might lose his voice.., in my mind, I was like, "oh no, please take care of yourself..".

I mean, I really feel for him. But at the same time, I really respect him for who he is, the sacrifices he's made. Its true, we can never understand what ps goes through in his secret place, but its definitely something we will never be able to comprehend.

Thats why whenever I have the time, I would think of ps and pray for him. He's not getting any younger, and yet he's more on fire than most of us, even myself. Seeing how he changed from someone intimidated and shy, into someone bold and confident, really spurs me. For some reason, whenever Ps Kong talks about his past, his sacrifices, etc, I kinda saw myself.

Celgrp today was good too. It was really another step for me, when Adam wanted me to lead prayer for praise and worship last week. Its not easy, doing 2 things at once, but hey, pam once told me something I would never forget, that there's always a first time for everything. I dont think you even remembered telling me that..haha.

All in all, I learnt something important when leading praise and worship. Confidence is more than believing in yourself, confidence is believing that when I play, the presence of God will come. The assurance that God is with me, leading and guiding me. Even when sometimes I stumble, at least I stumble forward, I stumble with the confidence to get back on track.

I think thats one of the keys in getting out of depression and having longsuffering. Confidence. Loving yourself and accepting yourself for who you are, and loving others. Adam said something really good, if you cant even love yourself, how are you going to love others?

If you yourself is not blessed, how are you going to bless others? If you yourself are not good in studies, how are you going to tutor others? If you have not sown any seeds, whether is it time, talents or finances, how are you going to reap any harvest?

Seeing people rising up, leading testimony, offering, and helping out as a celgrp helper, is a really encouraging thing for me. It makes me excited in a way, I know I already have a role, Im just a person who likes to try everything out..haha. Even if it doesnt work out, at least I lived without regret knowing that Ive attempted something great.

I dont mind being a helper, a treasurer, its always exciting to try things out, I mean, you'll never really know your potential unless you attempt something right? :D The christian walk is more than just discovering about God, its about discovering about yourself, your position, power and purpose.

After cg went to Ikea at Tampines. Walked around and had one dollar hotdog with drink. Haha. I think its really worth it. And you get good ice cream too. But seriously, I love my school's canteen food haha. Just that I always eat alone :S

Oh wells..I tend to do my work and study better in school, my home is too comfortable, I dont like. hahaha. Those who came to my house before, you'll know how powerful my bed is..lol..the moment u sit on it, you'll wanna sleep, but not just the bed, its really the distractions. haha. Eric really funny yest, kena bullied by pohchoo, and talked all sorts of nonsense lol.

Took train back. And after pam, thad and tri alighted and I sat there alone..dozing off here and there..haha. And I just closed my eyes, and talked with God.

"Thanks God..I think celgrp was great today."
"Yeah it was. Im happy for you."
"God, I really need you to help me with my project, I mean, I already...(hidden text :P)"
"Yes, I know..dont worry, Ill help you."

"Lord, 10k, is really a lot, you know me, when I first started, I never expected anything in return, I mean, when I help my friends, Ive never expected anything in return."
"Andrew, I know. You touched my heart, really. All those sacrifices you've made, those times you held the offering envelope with tears in your eyes, I see them all..and dont feel bad about it, you deserved it. Take it and have a happy life, I want you to be happy too."

"Yeah, you're right. Its a relationship right? You are the groom and I am your bride. In a way, I must learn to submit to You even more..but Im really thankful, my 'husband' is there to provide for me, and you're always there for me, in the secret place, even though I let you down so many times. God, I wanna be like you..there's so many people I wanna bless, I just wish I could give 1k to everyone I know.."

"Im sure you can."

"Im sure you know me well, Lord, You know that if I were to have 10k, I would have the tendency to give away to people and to give as offering hahaha. I just cant control myself, I cant stop myself from giving, the more I have, the more likely Ill be crazy enough to pledge an even higher amount for this year's building fund..."
"Haha, *He smiles."

The conversation went on, and I talked to him about my plans, my future relationships, marriage and so on..private, secret place stuff haha. Cant tell you everything :P And yes, I have the tendency to use up all my money, not on myself, but on people and on God..haha..

And if you know me long enough you'll know, Im someone who's addicted to giving, I always feel sad and 'emo' sometimes is because I love God and the people around me so much, but it hurts not being able to do anything about it. I wanna give more, I wanna do so much..

I like times when Im alone with God, peace and quiet. Last yr Ps Tan talked about styles of worship and personality traits. Im a solitute and contemplative person, Im also half charismatic, we love the move of God, signs and wonders, etc, afterall, we become who we follow haha..

I reflect alot, I think through things alot, and I have the habit of not doing something until Ive reasoned everything together. Its both a good trait, as well as a bad trait. I just got to learn to manage myself better. Im a very careful and cautious person, I feel alot too, maybe thats why my head and heart is so big, but I have small hands! hahaha..jus kidding.

But seriously, for a guy, I have really small hands :x My palm cannot even wrap a Logitech scroll mouse! O_O I dont want my hands to be crushed by my girlfriend next time! LOL! Ill confirm kena bullied haha.

Anyway, its so exciting haha..in march ps kong is gonna teach a series on marriage and relationships LOL, and somewhere somehow, Im sure he's gonna talk about the birds and the bees too, haha. Cool. Btw, I thought there was supposed to be a second men's talk last month? haha. guess there were last minute changes.

Presentation tomorrow, its the last lap..but after that it doesnt end there, it only ends when the end product is finished :D

I trust in You..