Arrgh

its 8am and i havent started on my assignment.

thinking of going for that particular class irks me..immediately ill freeze on the spot, stoned. i cant seem to move or get started. i know deep down i dont wanna attend that class ever again. then again, i know i should. but i cant seem to move the moment i think of going to that class..

fell asleep again by accident..im falling asleep by accident almost everyday, cus im too tired and i never fail to be late everyday cus i didnt schedule the time to sleep. and that class starts at 1, i have to finish my assignment..meet those forsaken classmates whom i dont want to hang around for some reason, get into a group and there are MORE assignments and even presentations and a skit..wtf..

i DONT WANT to go..:S im a stranger, im a nobody..i pon classes since the first lesson because im doing a module that was forced onto me even though it was an elective. i dont wanna go school anymore, i dont wanna play anymore, i just dont feel like doing anything anymore. i just wanna stay at home and rot my way till the end of time =/

i cant imagine what will happen the moment i show myself up for class, everyone will look at me, detest me, look down on me..and everyone will be talking to each other except me. cus everyone else got to go into an elective of their choice, im e only one who doesnt. everyone there had people they knew to talk to, i dont..

i hate IS, still have one proposal for another IS module to submit later, which i have not even started. you know what i do to messed up things..i dont fix it, i dont endure it..i just throw it all away and start all over. i wanna start my 3 years in poly all over..i dont have any mood to continue doing something that will never work out..i hate dwelling on things that are broken, hang out with people that will never change, do things that remain the same..arrgh..

waste my time, waste my energy, id rather do something that im good at, i rather do something that will benefit everyone, id rather do something that i enjoy doing..but..

THERE IS NOT EVEN ONE THING THAT I ENJOY DOING NOW..T_T

you might think, how can i not enjoy gaming when i do it everyday? gaming is not the reason, neither is gaming the excuse..gaming is my SOLUTION!!!!! i dont play because i want to, i play because i just want to forget everything! to keep my mind occupied from my problems! i dont wanna think of anything else, i just want the day to end!