IHP, Doors, Dream

My supervisor just called and told me about this deal at NUH. currently they have a login/logout database/system for volunteers who help out there and they need people to help modify the system.

my first thought was wow..i wanna do it. can earn e spare bucks at e same time to give for AnB at year end. and if i do well, there might be a chance ill be called back to help out in e future. NUH is like big time!

id never thought of being an IT assistant in the largest health institute in singapore. im excited! im interested.

but..im not confident i can do it..my programming..*Sigh..oh man..such a big door..and im not prepared to enter it x_x. what am i gonna dooooooo...? :S

my supervisor even said, if i decide to do this system mod, then i dont have to do ASP.NET ecommerce websites anymore which i already suck at doing. ahhhhh..

God help me..T_T

and strangely enough, i had this dream as i dozed off in e afternoon a few minutes ago. i dreamt of e time in pri sch when we would have swimming lessons. i didnt know how to swim, and im still not a gd swimmer..im a gd floater tho ~.O okay, thats besides e point..

i remembered when e instructor gathered all those who cant swim and separate pools from e ones who could. then he brought all those who couldnt swim well..after a few lessons..and took us the deep pool. 1.8-2metres deep.

and he asked us to dive into the pool..from the stand. i remembered i was scared. i was only pri4. i aint tall either..but i was VERY ROUND! i remember standing there. and i jumped in. i didnt dive, i jumped. and i remembered my goggles came off and i was scared to death. my eyes hurt with all e water..and i had to struggle to hold my breath the moment i plunged.

i couldnt see where i was..everything was blur. my heart was thumping. and when i surfaced. i breathed like it was my last. and i searched for my goggles and found it. i got out of the pool, unharmed. did water get into my nose? surprisingly, i dont rem water entering my nose. prob i was already exhaling thru my nose e moment i jumped in.

then i rem now..the call i just received. its like God asking me once again..jump into the unknown, you cant swim, are you willing to plunge into the deep. my life is at stake, i cant see clearly..i cant breathe properly..im scared..but what am i gonna do? am i gonna plunge anyway?

God reminded me..of how i came out from the pool, unharmed that time. and God is telling me, He will do it again. if only i would take the plunge..how??? i dont know. i cant even do my sch assignment properly u wanna place me in e largest health institute in singapore..

God, thats insane! if i screw up, the whole NUH will know im e guy who couldnt do nuts :S

oh man..what am i gonna do...?

and oh great..my msn nick: "If you wait for perfect conditions, ull never get anything done." Has God ever spoken to you so loudly that everywhere you look, you see God at work! oh man..

the call, the dream, the nick..ahhh..i guess this is it huh..what am i gonna doooooooo...?