Update

okay, i tink i better update just in case i leave some people in e dark thinking im gonna do something stupid LOL.

im feeling better yes...thank God His peace. and ive got my Manasseh, ive forgotten about everything already. yeah, u must be thinking..what a crazy person..one moment depressed, next moment..lameing and crapping..

one moment about to explode, next moment as calm as a lake. with God, why not? lol. im sensitive enough to know what is going on and the hand of God that moves behind every situation. when im in e pit, i know where i am, i know what to do. and i wait for no one! lol.

and within 24hrs, im out. because ive been inside many times, and im familiar with it. they say, practice makes perfect..not that i wanna go in again, but IF something happens and i go back in, at least im equipped to overcome it like CHICKEN! :p

same with yesterday...ive been trained to smile, ive been trained to hold my anger and keep my emotions in check, ive been trained and i can say, i have been strengthened each time..

even when i mess up, i can clean up my own mess in 24hrs. and yesterday i was laughing and joking with e person who 'pressed e wrong button' lol..

God also spoke to me in e shower..it seems its in e shower that i encounter God e most..haha and i hear Him the most clearly. prob its becos its in e shower that im most vulnerable, most quiet, most at peace, with all the personal space i needed. and God just shows up.

and He said (RE what happened) : "If I were to keep quiet and not do anything about it. What are you gonna do about it?" i was silenced in thoughts for a long time. *nope i didnt waste water X_X lol. then i realised, the incident with Jesus sleeping in the boat during e storm.

yes, we all need to grow up, you cant possible expect God to clear up your poo poo everytime right? God loves me so much, and He allows room for me to make mistakes. and likewise i told tt friend of mine, I love you as a friend, and i wanna make room for you to make mistakes as well..

its e only way we learn, its e only way we grow. if anyone is upset with me just becos i messed up, then ask yourself, are you gonna be upset all your life? because throughout your ENTIRE life, people will mess up..and e ones who will eventually hurt u are e ones closest to you.

cmon, wake up..this is the real world. being a christian doesnt mean life is a bed of roses..dont deceive yourself. the only difference is that we have the power to overcome it..again, and again, and again, and again, and again!

ive learned that the greatest mistake you can make, is to think that you will never make a mistake.

im fine now..everything is cool..thank God for His grace, thank God for His peace..if ure desperate enough, just ask for His Manasseh and He will freely give it to you. If an earthly father knows how to give good things to his child, what more our Father in heaven?

after what uve read about me..am i still your friend? if i had nothing to give, would i still be your friend? i dont need to know. you just think about it. if God is SLEEPING when ure going through a tough time, are you gonna complain and give up on Him?

if u cant take it, just surrender. i dun see whats so difficult. we all have to put away our pride sometimes. and ive mastered e art of self humility. nobody can make u humble, nobody can make u loving..your attitude is changed, ONLY by you. God cant touch your attitude, because its sacred, because its e real you!

the proof of your desire is in your pursuit. how hungry are you for His presence? how hungry are you for His power? its proven by your actions. do you give excuses all the time? oh, i cant go for svc, oh i cant go for cg, oh i cant go for PM.

thank God im more on fire for Him than i ever was, thank God im more in love with Him than i ever was!

we have learned what it means to have a pure heart. its NOT sinless perfection..its a heart that is totally yielded, a 100%, no double-mindedness, no ulterior motives and NO excuses!

Stop existing and start living! =)