Stoned

why am i born a hindrance?
why am i always nothing but trouble?
next time ill stay home.
home alone.

i cant accumulate anymore..
im at my breaking point..
at this stage, im dangerous and unstable..

at this point, id best be left alone..
im like a ticking time bomb that is about to explode..
remember how a star becomes a blackhole?

its mass is so dense within itself..
that when it dies off, it collapses within itself..
im just like that..
with a mass so dense inside that ill collapse within myself.

creating a endless darkness that sucks in everything around me.
time, space and even light cannot escape.
its better to stay away from me.
no need to care about me
no need to even bother about me
no need to realise i exist

i did the unthinkable
i said the unforgivable
im falling apart
4 years of holding back..
4 years of accumulation..
has it finally come to a point where it breaks?

will i slip into severe depression?
will i end up suicidal again?
will i lose my sanity?
what if i become a vegetable?

why am i writing a poetry?
i dont really know.
is there someone out there?
i dont think so.

yet i blame no one
no one by myself
went for movie today
with me it was a disaster

im a curse, a jynx
nothing good comes out from me
is there someone who cares?
is there someone whom i can share?
ive not shared anything for almost a year

ive bottled up everything
no ears to hear
no shoulder to lend a tear

because of me, i went to Heeren meeting noone.
because of me, a movie watched late.
because of my stupidity and simplicity
it didnt really matter.

yet as i sat there
lonely, but not alone
God spoke to me
From Will Smith alone

all this while
He was beside me
when i cried myself to bed every night
He was right there crying with me

"It hurts me to see you cry" (G)
"I really really love you" (G)
"God, im sorry for making a mess" (A)
"You wanted me to have fun" (A)
"But all i did was blow it up" (A)

"Could you give Me another chance?" (G)
"To make you happy once more" (G)
Tears flowed down my face.
To the God who humbled Himself for me.

You are all I have.
You are all I need.
A true Friend, a true Comforter.
One..in times of need.

Laptop down
ruffROSE hacked
going broke
that's life for me

ill never go out again.
ill never talk again.
ill just shut myself up
mind my own business.

is there someone who cares?
is there someone whom i can share?
To the God in Heaven
You're everything to me