Weird, Gaming

Dont worry, Im fine now.

If I had to lose a friend, so be it. Im okay with filtering people out from my life.

Thats how how I get angry, or what I do when Im disappointed. I wont shout, I wont show a face. Ill smile =) Talk nicely, lovingly, as if I dont know anything. Love the person, forgive the person.

And then when Im alone at home, I direct everything to myself and 'torture' myself. Hurt myself until Ive become numbed. And then within the next few days, I wouldve forgiven and forgotten. It works like magic haha.

Its like, I know I can go into depression and get out of it on my own, I can 'cut' myself and yet not die lol. Pretty freaky huh? But thats who I am..what goes on behind the scenes of my..'good points' haha.

Isolation helps, me and my comp...games help me destress, ignite my creativity and makes me forget about people, forget about anything in fact. And in the virtual world, people are nicer than sometimes...church people...*cough...

There's unity, there's teamwork, they care about each other, especially in a clan. And I can talk non-stop haha. Ill never feel left out, Ill never feel bored, Ill never feel lonely, Ill never get distracted by anything...its like heaven.

When you talk to them, they will reply. They say guys cant multitask, but here, they can game, eat, chat, fight monsters/players, and care about you at the same time. Its awesome.

I miss ROSE, and Im gonna go back again lol. In there, you buff people, they thank you. Here, you do a kind thing for others, or you be their listening ear, or you show concern, you hardly receive anything in return.

You dont have to worry about being backstabbed, because there will always be someone there to watch your back and defend you, sometimes even fight back for you. In there, there are people, who when they find a rare item, theyll ask you if you want it first or not, before they sell it.

I can always have fun, there's not once I played ROSE and I cried lol..irritated yes, but I had friends who were there and we PKed (Player Kill/PVP) their clan lol.

You get to meet so many people, hear so many things about their kids...yes...some of the players are DADs..about work, their country, heritage and culture, etc.

You wanna play with me, joke with me, tease me, 'bully' me, play 'dirty' with me, thats fine, just dont step on the wrong button.

Im like a Recycle Bin waiting to explode...and when I do, you may change, you may react, while I can just in a few moments, reverse back to my state as if nothing happened haha.

There's no such thing as bad partners. Only bad decisions.