Hati Hamba - Sari Simorangkir

Verse

Standing in awe of Your grace
Setting my feet in Your ways
Entering into Your presence
To behold You face to face

God of all Heaven and earth
Holding me in Your embrace
Unfailing love that surrounds me
Oh..God I stand amazed

Chorus

My Jesus, My Lord
You're the love of my life
Wherever You go
Wanna be by Your side
No longer I
But Christ living in me
Serving You for all eternity

My eyes set on You
In this race that I run
No longer my ways
Let Your will be done
Make me a servant
My heart's ever true
Clinging to the cross
I'll follow You
I'll follow you


This week's been hardcore shooting all the way, 6 frames, with the 6th frame as my final exam. Since the first frame, Ive been shooting with a finger injury. First was internal bleeding due to the clipping of the gun trigger multiple times.

Yes, my finger is too small to grip the trigger correctly, even the instructor was kinda shocked how small my hand was. Its ok if people think, Im being pessimistic or what, its a fact. I live with a small physical handicap.

For a guitarist, I have really small hands, when I do pull ups, I cant grip the bar properly, I cant even shoot properly, I failed my first 5 frames, eventually a blister formed above the internal bleeding spot, the scar is still there.

I was the worst shooter but amazingly, I managed to clear the final exam. But not without pain, the whole week is exerting force and further damage to my finger. Every shot, not only was there pain in my finger, there was pain in my heart, knowing that Ill fail because my hand is small and weak.

God can use my hands in such a way, is not because I qualified for it, but because I allowed Him to. So many times, we wanna please God, yet we do not know that it is He who helps us to please Him.

Just like the story of the father, son and the lawn mower.

We can never fully please God, we can never fully do what He requires of us, why? Because we are imperfect. We cant move the lawn mower to begin with, yet why does God do what He does? Its because of love and He wants to fellowship and get close to us.

Had my first swimming lesson yesterday, it was hell. 150 push ups in 30 minutes, in sets of 20. Its amazing how I never had cramps or muscle tears. God is amazing, He is faithful.

Sometimes people will let you down.
They will say things you dont like.
They wont say things that you like.
You try so hard to please everyone,
Yet you are just an imperfect person like everyone else.

You let the emotions overwhelm you,
You let life surround you,
And you've forgotten the one who brought you out of Egypt.
The one who fed you when you were hungry,
The one who clothed you when you were naked,
The one who placed His hands on your shoulders and wiped your tears.

So many things are happening in your life,
You feel so far, so distant, in a loss of direction,
I dont know who you are but I just sensed in my heart,
There is someone who feels that way right now.
Your friends might not be there,
I might not be there, but I still love, I still care, just like how God would.
Stop looking around and start looking inside,
Know that greater is he who is in you than He who is in the world.

Be strong, because God is strong.
You read my blog, even though you know I wont update as often.
I pray everyday, its very easy.
The moment I step onto my blog,
I feel the heart of some of my readers,
I know their thoughts,
Not because Im super spiritual, but because I love,
Because Im willing to make a connection.

When you pray for people, you are connected with them in the spirit,
Stop regretting yesterday,
Stop worrying about tomorrow,
What are you going to do today?
If you waste all your 'todays' worrying and regretting,
Your breakthrough will never come.

Dont be discouraged by what happens around you,
Be encouraged by what has happened to you,
You are saved, you have a relationship with God,
You have friends who care, friends who listens,
His grace is sufficient for you,
What you have now, is already more than enough,
If only you could see it.
Stop looking at what you dont have,
A miracle starts first by looking at what you have,
Your 5 loaves, and 2 fish.

If you are reading this and this impacts you,
Know that I love you, God loves you,
Just as how God has never left you, neither will I.
Everyday Im sad, knowing that there are people I cant encourage,
Knowing that I cant be there for people hurts me a lot.
I wanna do so much for people, yet in a blink of an eye,
It seems as if all my friendships and connections are cut off just like that.

3 months and 1 week may seem long,
If I have to pray for you for 3 months everyday, I will do that.
I miss teaching guitar, I miss msning, I miss being a shoulder to cry on,
I miss being a listening ear, there are nights I would lay on my bed in tears,
Thinking of everyone of you, my heart, has gone with you.

Thank you for making me who I am today,
Now its your turn, to be who you are meant to be.

Life will be happier, if you just had God and your friends.

The simplicity of heart. Let it touch you today.