CG, Service, Encounter

CG was good. Here comes the birth of Timo's CG (Connect Grp) lol. What shall we call it?

Joycelyn, Timo, Andrew. Hmm. JAT sounds nice haha. Tidrewlyn sounds cool too LOL.

Anyway, reached for service after CG in the middle of sermon. It was good, about the temple of God, the body of Christ and a little about the book of revelation.

Cant believe I was dozing off for awhile. I was like..at the last row, so hard to feel the anointing of God. :( But I managed to catch most of the message.

One thing Ps Ulf said that blew me away was:

You are not who you are because of what you do.
You do what you do because of who you are.

Haha sounds very deep. But it was really a great revelation. Thank God for wisdom and understanding, its a really powerful revelation. To me personally at least. haha.

After service went to JP with QY to accompany her to buy a wallet for her friend. Haha. Poo wallet LOL! Okay it wasnt really a wallet, more like a pencil case haha. Wallet Shop sell pencil case, pro. LOL.

Okay maybe its a wallet, a REALLY HUGE one. Or something. It can be used in many ways haha..so cant really judge by its looks.

Something happened when I reached home.

Nobody was at home and I was just talking to God, about celgrp, service and about my life and all. And so, I heated up this packet of charsiew roast pork rice my mum bought for me before she left for her church activity.

As I was eating..presence of God touched me and I cried!

Can you believe it! I was eating and I wept! :O

I dunno what came to me. As I was eating away and I had said my grace. But its like I was still saying grace even after I had started eating. Thanking God for the food. The more I thanked him for the rice, for the meat, the more I started crying for some reason.

And it was just an encounter I have never experienced before.

What touched me, was the fact that when I look at myself, at my imperfection, I saw the times I let God down, the times I grieved the Holy Spirit by doing things that I shouldnt, by procrastinating, by not reading His word or spending time with Him..so many times I took Him for granted.

And here I am..blessed with food in my mouth. And I began to think of people out there who dont even have a grain of rice. And I began to cry.

"God..I dont know what to say.."

"How can one's love be so great? The times Ive let you down, the times I neglected you, yet you have blessed me with a great family, with food in my mouth. You feed those who let you down, you serve those who persecute you."

"God, I wanna be more like you. God, I wanna make you smile. I know Im not perfect, Im just a creation and you are my Creator. And I have done nothing to deserve food, I have done nothing to deserve anointing. Yet because You loved me, you freely gave."

"How wonderful, how beautiful, name above every name, exalted high.."

And as I sat there, I can tell you I was crying like a child before God, and I began to sing this really old song:

Renew my life, Lord Jesus
I never want to be the same

Renew my life, Lord Jesus
Place this heart inside of me

In my life and thoughts
There are so many things
That need a change that only
Your love can bring

And I need to be transformed
Into Your likeness O Lord
Change this heart inside of me

Sometimes we get so busy, so occupied with service, so occupied with celgrp, that we forget the simple things, we forget the little things, even something as simple as thanking God for a family, thanking God for food to eat, for air to breathe.

Sometimes in my posts I can appear very sophisticated. But Im a really simple and down to earth person. To God, Im just like everyone else.

I did a recording for this song, but apparently file uploading is screwing me. Upload failed. Upload failed. So irritating. Ill try to get it up asap. :(

Simplicity, humility, brokenness.