Do you love enough to cost you something?

What Im about to post here, might shock a lot of you, especially those who have grown up with me since my younger days.

But for the first time, Im going to miss final service, for Dr AR Bernard. :(

Yes, you heard me right. And its over what? Some jamming session. o.o

Sounds ridiculously immature? Yes.
Sounds wrongly prioritized? Yes.
Sounds like a new friend? Yes.

But God said, go ahead and do it.

Very "ZOMG" right?
Well, let me explain.

Lets just say I literally broke down in tears, when I heard it.

First as an advice from my cgl, to go ahead, since I already made a promise, secondly, as a double confirmation during my moment with God just now. He double confirmed it and He explained why.

Yes, Adam is right, in the first place, shouldnt people be hungry for the word of God? Both he and I am surprised that my bro's cg, no one believes in multiple services, in fact, NO ONE is going. To an extent, its true. It just shows their spiritual hunger, maturity and commitment level. It also shows a wrong priority and a lack of insight? Yes.

And to think I grew up being discipled, back in the days of JW, I go for all 6 services whenever ANY guest speaker is coming, and as far as I remembered, I always went alone, cus no one else would want to? Hahaha. I can still laugh about it till this day. But I enjoyed those days a lot.

At one time, being laid hands upon for 3 different services, 3 different altar calls, by the same speaker, Rev Dr Ulf Ekman. It was great, 3 different impartations all in the same weekend. You wanna talk about double portion, that weekend I had a triple portion.

However, God being God...He has His ways.

It was kind of a last minute adjustment, a foolish decision on my part I must say, must be because Im too tired to remember that this week is Dr AR Bernard.. O_O And so, I made a decision to commit to people's lives, in this case, the jamming session.

Was I heartbroken? Yes.

Acting upon my cgl's advice, I went to ask for their permission. Yes, these are my 'juniors' yet I still humbled myself and asked for their permission. But knowing them, they said its very hard, blablabla, so on. To me, I was a no nonsense guy. If you know me, I really cant stand people who arent serious with God, plain honest. They can sacrifice God for something, instead of the other way round.

Yet...when I sought God, how strange His response was!

Now..the question is, why do it?

I prayed, no answer.
I read the word, no answer.

Until when I came to the end of myself and my mind turned blank, God spoke in a still small voice. "Just do it. It doesnt matter no one knows, I am sending you, just do it."

Thats revelation. Man does not live on bread (logos - written word) alone, but on every word (rhema - the spoken word) that proceeds from the mouth of God. It comes from the Holy Spirit, God Himself, not just from pastors or preachers.

Sounds absurd right, that the God you love is asking you to leave His presence, His place of anointing and fellowship...but of course, for something greater. And God knows if He reveals everything to you, you wont be able to take it.

When one loves God so much to such an extent, even if He asks something like this of me, I would still do it. But not without much pain and pressure...tremendous stress.

Like people always know me for my 'perfect attendance', yes, apart from BMT confinement, I have never missed a single service, PM, or cg meeting for 6 years. Even if I missed cg, I would always go for make up. "Absent" doesnt exist in my dictionary. Commitment is a conviction, not a preference.

A conviction is something that wont take no for an answer. A conviction is something that, if you have to die to live it out,
You would gladly do it. A conviction leaves no option or choice, to say no.
To you, going against your conviction is as good as sin.

Thats how strong my conviction was, no exam, no birthday, no gathering could stop me from being committed. To me, Id rather sacrifice all my friendships and relationships, just to be where God is, He is not just my first, He is my only. Any friendships that took my time with God away from me, I would rather abandon that relationship than to compromise.

In this situation, I couldve easily done it. Haha, but for some reason, God chose otherwise, for the FIRST TIME.

Now that Im going to do something drastic like this, what are people gonna say? What are they gonna think?

Of course, God assured me this and that, and I knew I was doing the right thing and I felt the peace of God. And Im really grateful to Him. Anyway...

Here was what God said to me...

"Yes, I know you love church, you love my presence, you are dependent on Me, you sacrifice a lot..and you wanna come for service, because you really love to. But........

......

But......

......

It is still something you want."

Wow. Period.

That..my friends, is maturity.
That..is what I call, MIND BLOWING, HEART CONVICTING, etc.

I dont know if any of you have come up to this level yet, maybe you're in SOT and you kinda know how it feels like..mission trips? Haha. Or like Sun or Ps Kong, who travel to and fro, to serve, to minister, and to lay down their lives for the kingdom of God.

It totally hit me. I felt I have gone up another level.

I remembered what I learnt in SOS, the leaving of the comfort zone, the story of how God told Abraham to gather his family and pack up, and they moved to another territory.

Its my exact same situation, just that, its not that bad, as to leave my country yet, but the measure of sacrifice is there.

Will you go where God sends you?
Do you love God more than you love His blessings?
Since the day you came to church till now, how much have you grown?
When you say you sacrifice for God, to what extent? To what measure?
Is He your first? Or is He your only?
Is He just your God? Or is He also your Lord?
Even if He is your God, is He your God of all?

Its time to stop thinking about yourself.
Its time to pick yourself up, wake up, and 'level up'.
Heaven and earth will pass away, but His word will never pass away.

Yes, we are all God's children.
But have you come to a place where He treats you as an adult?
Yes, He's our daddy, but children grow up.

God equips you to be independently dependent on Him.
That when the storm rages, and Jesus is asleep.
Why? He's waiting for you to step out, take initiative, take authority and calm the storm!

When He said, you of little faith, did He necessarily mean, "you dont believe ull be alright?"
Or did He mean, "you dont have faith to calm the storm?"

Move from initial love,
Past faltering love, growing love, transforming love,
To mature love.