Trojan? Worm? Virus? Short entry

I think Ive been infected with a malware that disables auto-updates, feeds, etc.

Antivirus cannot retrieve update list.
Spybot cannot retrieve update list.
WMPlayer cannot retrieve update URL.

Even my windows update, when I click it, it redirects me to some fake google-looking page even though the URL is the same e.g. windowsupdate.com or something.

Certain websites have the "Page Load Failed" error...sometimes.

Worse thing is..I cant send a Microsoft Support..why? Because my email symbol cannot be pressed!!!! And microsoft website, under the 'Confirm email' textbox, they dont allow copy n paste..O_O Noooo.

Anyway, sorry guys, I wanted to upload quite a lot of pics lately but I couldnt as Im waiting for pohchoo to send me the pics. Yea..=/ Since..erm..december? haha.