Depressed

Im crying on my 21st birthday, Im crying on my POP parade, and now Im crying on christmas.

I can forgive others easily, but I can never forgive myself.
Others can let me down, but I cannot let others down.
Others can take advantage of me, but I cannot take advantage of others.

Sometimes I wish Id never existed...Id wish all the problems would just go away.

No one to turn to, in times of need.
No shoulder to lean on, no one there to give me hug.
No one to talk to when Im down...

No one understands what Ive been through, nor know the sacrifices Ive made to get to where I am today. Its not easy to put up a brave front. If I smile for one second it's already a miracle. Thats how much it's cost me.

Sometimes, I think back..I was happier without any friends. No one to hurt me, I wasnt close to anyone, I could hurt people and not feel a thing...everything was plain and numb.

So many things I wanna blog last night, but everything's gone...