IHP, Irritated

Today was unproductive to the max. I totally lost my inspiration and motivation to do! How I wish yesterday was a bit longer, or if I had more time. :( Well, people who can help me just simply refuse to talk to me. Stupid YAWAS!

Worse still, people who are online appearing offline. Hello..why dont you just uninstall your MSN since you like appearing offline so much! Why even sign into msn in the first place? MSN is for you to chat and to 'fellowship', not for you to give people a false sense of security!

Talk about taking advantage of people? Thats taking advantage of people! People who need help! People who are desperate and on the verge of life and death!

I cant stand it. Wasted the whole day trying to find help. But no one in sight! Yesterday when I had help, I had no time. WTH. KAIROS MOMENT!!! KAIROS MOMENT!!! And I blew it. O_O

Dont try to think you know what's going on. You try studying 4-5 years in poly and you tell me! Noooo, but Im quite comfortable what..Im a good student, I dont have to repeat any modules, In fact, Ive never failed before...SAVE IT!

And ohhhh, I know..some clown from somewhere is gonna ask me to stop complaining. Well then..why dont you take my place? You think you understand? You think the things I go through you can endure? Well by all means take my place!

There's a difference between complaining and pure ignorance and naiveity. I can simply choose to ignore whoever's YAWASing me and let me fail my assignment. How selfish can you get!

I cant take it. Its WEDNESDAY! WEDNESDAY FOR HEAVENS SAKE! 4 days more!!!!! THIS IS DISGUSTING!!! ARRGH I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! WASTED ONE WHOLE DAY!!! YESTERDAY WASTED 4 HOURS!!!! JUST WHEN I HAD HELP...JUST WHEN I HAD THE INSPIRATION AND MOTIVATION!!!

When my malay friend from ROSE Online asked me how did I spend my new year countdown..did I go to the Esplanade/Marina Bay? I told him I was at home struggling with programming.

He was like.."Aww man..that sucks. Take a break man! Its new year! Once a year! Oh man, I shouldve brought you along with me..at least you'll have someone to countdown with.."

People are having fun, watching movies, countdown-ing, parties, eating, movies, laughing, playing, and here I am..struggling with shitty asp.net codes.

Same for christmas. I never had the luxury of christmas. People received loads of gifts, I received 2. People had parties, I was at home programming.

L.O.L. people were having fun I was programming.

Breakaway, people had a blast. My program had a crash!

How pathetic the life of a programmer is. No friends, no life, no time, no enjoyment, just pure, plain, boring, lonely life talking to the computer the whole day. No time to hangout, no time to do what I like. I dont even remember what I liked O_O.

Last year it was the same. 2 years, no christmas for me. 2 years, no new year's countdown for me. Arent I pathetic? Like all programmers I know say.."Haha its normal..we programmers end up being the program ourselves. The reason why we debug program codes is because we have become debuggers ourselves..LOL"

Yea, that was meant to be a joke. But its no joke for me.

People are working, earning money..and this project..Ive been doing for MONTHS, and guess what..I dont get paid! I dont mind doing IAP TWICE! At least I get paid! This is shitty. Working my butt off without being paid. All I get is grades! WTH man. ARE YOU ALIVE OR NOT!

This is discrimination of labour! I can have MOE sued! If thats possible. O_O

Come on..I no need to buy food? I dont need to buy christmas clothings and new year clothings? You deprive me of my freedom, you deprive me of my future! Even my bro has gotten himself a new set of clothes for 2008! And BETTER STILL...a new acoustic guitar worth 600 bucks plusplus!!! Thats TWICE the value of my current one!

Not only do I have no freedom, no life, no friends, no help, I have no money too. Everyday I survive on $2.80 canteen food and maggi mee! Not that I dont have allowance, I have great allowance, dont get me wrong.

its just that I cant stand feeding off my parents..one day Im gonna be working and I cant possible feed off them forever right? I have to look after them.

I cant stand being useless.
I cant stand being unproductive.
I cant stand being helpless.
Why? My diploma course is FRIDKIN Information Technology!

And oh, I ask around. Do you know anyone who knows programming? "No..", "Whats that?". Why? Because people find programming BORING! Exactly! Down right boring! This is a waste of talent, a waste of time, a waste of energy. Who in the right mind would study programming? HAHAHAHA!!! YOU NOOB!