Randomness, Bored

First day of school wasnt so bad. at least i did something. its not the first time, but i realised im quite weak and vulnerable. in many ways, esp when i lose my fasting 'anointing'. ps once said, your life wont change with time. life changes only when your thinking changes.

if you think certain people will be like that..you will eventually act according to what you believe. and guess what..that person will respond the way you 'THINK' he will to.

just wanna blog abit about my personal life. in the past, i used to think, im not appreciated, people dont care, that every time my sacrifice is always in vain. but after my talk with adam, things changed and more importantly, ive changed.

i dont know if anyone is going through the same thing as me. but one thing adam said that really hit me, dont expect people to appreciate you. people are selfish by nature. for the people around, they are always not appreciative, for the person him/herself, he/she is always wanting self-appraisal and self-approval.

either way, both parties are still selfish nevertheless. one side refuses to acknowledge the sacrifices of another, the other side just wants to be happy with him/herself..aka self-flattery. then ask yourself, who do you live for?

Just take a moment to think, who are you thinking of most of the time? Yourself? your friends? or God? how often is God in your equation? everything you do, everything you say, is it to please men? is it to please yourself, or is it to please God?

i think SOTM really changed me a lot. your love for God must EXCEED EVERY OTHER FORM of relationships! if your foundations are wrong, when the storm hits, ure gonna go down. into self-pity, into resentment, into fault-finding.

soon ull realise your whole world is about how others think and how you feel. very self-centered. just stop for a moment..and ask God, God..what do you have to say? who is the first person to run to when ure down? who is the first person to seek advice from when ure struggling? who is the first person you ask for views and opinions before you actually do anything? how many times has it been God?

if you truly love someone, then theres no need to expect anything in return. love is sacrificial, love is unconditional! have i ever asked anything in return? no. not at all. i do what i do, because i love God, and love people, period. no terms, no conditions, no ifs, no buts!

a preacher once said, even if you were the only person on the earth, Jesus would still come down from heaven to die for you. if theres no one who appreciates or treats u e way u treat them back? would you still love? would you still press on? would you still be obedient to the calling of God in your life?

but u say, its so hard..well, if you understand what love is, if you have a clearer revelation of what love is, then its not so hard. i can say it because its my testimony, my own life story. when someone does right, Jesus praises and rewards, when someone does wrong, Jesus rebukes. when someone doesnt know His motives, Jesus loves.

obedience is greater than sacrifice. i live for God's smile! =)