Combined PM, Thoughts, Testimony

Okay, i decided to revert to my previous skin. Haha. yes, a good programmer keeps backups of his files and logs. haha. cant believe i just said that.

COMBINED PRAYER MEETING

PM was just phenomenal. And I have a testimony to share. haha =)

okay, lets start by talking about the PM. i dunno about you, but everytime when i engage God in prayer, i never fail to pray till tears come down my eyes. the longing is so great, the presence is so strong, and the vision powerful.

the power of imagination!

im gonna get the picture of the Tokyo Dome Stadium from some chorus board friends and put as my desktop wallpaper. so everyday in school, as i boot my laptop, first thing i see in the morning, is our new building..and whenever i see it, ill begin to pray for it and see it come to pass!

indeed our hearts are full, and our pockets are empty. people always say CHC is a youth church. but if you are smart enough, ull know that youths become working adults one day. thats why we have so many millionaires in our church..not because we 'import' them from other churches, these millionaires are HOME-GROWN..

we dont take millionaires from outside, we raise them up from the inside! because all these millionaires, love God and love people and were discipled at a very young age. the power of educating the youth! you wanna be successful? you wanna be a true disciple? NOW is the time. faith is NOW.

and the vision of my first US$1,000,000 by the age of 30 became sooo strong during the prayer meeting. indeed, ALL things are possible. if you dare not do the ridiculous, ull never experience the miraculous!

i believe we can have our own building, ITM-FTM-TPTM! (short form, haha). i believe in 30,000 people or even more..when we saw the tokyo dome and one of the church leaders said it can sit 50,000-60,000 people, my mind blew away..immediately, i had the faith to believe for 50,000 members.

then again like ps said, its not about membership, its not about buildings, its about lives being changed for the glory of God! but right now, the focus is on the 22mil, each zone 1000 members. we have work to do. its time to rise up and to contain the vision God has placed in our lives.

and like e song we sang today stated: we have to pray like never before. prayer is the key to revival. prayer is the answer to any problem we can ever face. God is the only person in the face of the whole universe, that gives us the answer sheet for every test in life! :PP

man i just love singing old songs..it stirs up the passion when we first came to church :)

TESTIMONY

okay, for the testimony. basically i smsed pam told her i just left (1230pm) and ill reach on the dot. even though somewhere inside of me knew, i wont be able to reach by 130pm. =/ but i still confessed it. and spoke it. even when thomas called me, i told him i would reach on time, even though i looked at the time, im gonna be late.

but the amazing thing was..when i reached, i thought i was late. then i realised PM changed to 1.45pm. i reached at 1.43pm. i needed to chiong to e toilet cus of e long journey, and i thought i would be late in a sense - PM would have started when i was still in e toilet.

i told myself, God, i said ill be on time, dont make me look like a fool now..and when i reached back to my seat. it was 1.47pm and 3-5 seconds after i reached my seat..PM started!

and God began to speak to me.

Your reality says u are gonna be late. and it IS a fact you WILL be late. but because you believed in me and you believed in the power of your own words, you shall have whatever you say. i had time to reach the hall b4 PM, and God even changed reality so that i had time to go to the toilet!!!

and i thought..man..reality didnt change my words, my words changed reality! the catch here is this, are you willing to do the ridiculous? are you willng to be a fool for christ?

i believed im a man of my word. if i say ill be on the dot, ill be on the dot or earlier. even though it doesnt seem i would reach on the dot..somehow God will CHANGE REALITY to make sure that whatever i said, came to pass because i believed in the power of confession!

after PM didnt fellowship much..the girls went to do their 'stuff'. and im e only guy cus timo had to give tuition. so i decided to go home.

THOUGHTS/RANTS

now to talk about the Breakaway camp :S i dont think i can go. actually, its not i dont think i can go, but i really cant go. weekdays is a total 'buang' for me. 9-5 everyday. and if i were to go saturday morning itll be like..prize presentation and ill feel so left out again..:S

i dont know..everytime i miss some big event like this..first was the L-O-L, then now breakaway camp. i try very hard to not feel left out, i try so hard to feel i belonged to the cg, i belonged to the zone. but the more i try, the more events i miss, the harder it is. i really dont know how much more stress i can take. =/

last year was my final year..missed so many cg events. this year final year again! :( i just feel so outcast and deprived. and next year, im gonna go army. worse. sometimes i struggle with thoughts like: if i disappeared, will anyone notice? and other stuffs.

i never had any exciting memories in primary school cus i never talked to anyone. i never had much exciting memories in sec school..cus im always the one who chiongs home. in poly, i had ZERO memories cus the only i did for 4 years of my life..is TYPE, TYPE, TYPE. no social life at all!

total waste of my time. IT courses are the courses which are generally independent-based. as in, much of the things u learn and apply, are more or less independent tasks. even the learning is independent-learning, they only scrape the surface for you. how well you do, is dependent on the individual, except for group projects.

and i always thought i was the independent and introverted type. but there are also times i realised, that thats not true. in actual fact, im socially-dependent and extroverted, just read my blog, i have so much to say!

its just that because of the situations im placed in during my lifetime, it has reduced me to nothing more than someone that floats by...

everyday i sit in the room, i see people joking, laughing, chatting, lan-gaming, lunching..and there i am, alone, fasting on most days, never open my mouth at all for the whole day. everyday i only say 3 words, "hi", "bye", "okay". im so socially deprived even to the extent i feel uncomfortable talking to people!

oh wells..ive always encouraged others..live one day at a time. and here i am, encouraging myself too, to live one day at a time. itll be nice if someone could encourage me one day instead of me encouraging myself..

sometimes i just get e feeling some people are 'spiritually intimidated'..mebbe bcus i can be quite discerning, i carry e presence of God or whatever..i dont know. sometimes i just wish i can be treated like a regular friend instead of being so formal with me all the time. im a human too..im imperfect too..im a youth too..lol.

i dont know..i mean, its good when people tell me, hey, ur posts are so encouraging, i feel e presence of God when im with you, when i read your posts and all. praise God for that..who wouldve thought God could use someone like me. i mean, just look at my personality, i seriously dont think you find anything attractive about me other than the fact im a random retard lol. O_O

sometimes, i would like to know from people i know, what is it that makes me so different. i mean, its encouraging to hear directly from God why..but just for the record. itll be good to know people's opinions as well.

oh wells..let me decrease and let God increase!