Update

finally some blogging. rem last time when i shared i went to meet up with my supervisor to discuss the project? well..i remembered that day. we were in the meeting room having a short discussion. and while we were talking..he went out to answer a call. so i was alone in the meeting room for awhile.

the chair was comfortable and the table was a 10-seater business table. then God began to speak to me.

"Isnt the chair comfortable?"
"yeah.."
"would you like to be in a room like this next time? sitting on the board of committee?"
"erm..it would be nice..but..i cant even imagine one day ill sit at a table like this.."
"thats why you wont."
"..."
"see that chair over there at the end of the table?"
"yea?"
"how would you like if one day you were to sit on that side of the table?"

*i pondered and i was lost for a moment in thoughts..then my supervisor came back in.

a few days back..after ministry..i was tired and shagged..my eyes were soring and i was dozing off even while walking and standing up straight. i sat at one of the seats at tanah merah thinking about what i just did a few minutes ago..

earlier on, as i walked out of expo foyer2 and walked towards e mrt station, this guy from the yellow ribbon project approached me selling pens for 2 bucks each to help raise funds for e yellow ribbon project, to give a second chance to ex-convicts.

i was tired..shagged..and a little cranky..but nevertheless i bought it from him. all i had left in my wallet..was 2 bucks. which meant that officially, i was broke.

as i sat at the bench at tanah merah thinking what i just did. i suddenly realised the reality of what had just happened. im broke. i was hungry, i was tired..but i had no more money left. i had given my last 2 bucks to help the yellow ribbon project.

my heart started feeling pain and my eyes became wet. that 2 dollars was precious to me. it was whats left of my allowance. what if my cgm calls me out for a meal? what if someone calls me and asks me if i wanna go town..i would love to..but i cant.

i began to talk to God. my heart is full..but my pockets are empty. i finally realised what it means to feel that way. however, i felt Him putting His arms around my shoulders. He didnt say anything..but i could tell He smiled.

You can give without loving, but you cannot love without.
Love that doesnt cost, is love that is lost.

How much sacrifice have your walk with God cost you?
Are you living a life of convenience, or a life of selfless, unconditional sacrifice?
Are you a believer, or are you a disciple?

You make that decision, today.