Stoned and moodless

Im tired. I dont wanna struggle anymore. Ill just sit back and relax..saves my energy, lengthens my life and prevents white hair or pimples. o.o No point getting stressed for nothing. Its doing more harm than good..

im just gonna pretend nothing happened. id rather live a lie thats happy than to live the reality that hurts. in case u havent noticed..when im down, i dun show it to anyone. when im hurt, i dont show it to anyone. when im stressed, i try my best not to show it.

ive always confronted it on my own.

im tired. yet i always wanna be able to stand on my own two feet. mebbe its partially because some ppl look up to me, thats why i cant seem to be able to show a weaker side of me. guess i can always talk to e wall or to my reflection or to God.

im sure thats enough right? no. i came to realise i cant live on my own. but what can i do? ive not been running for 2 weeks now. that sucks. not only im broke, im fat. yea, gd luck to all your anti-fats program..what i need now is an anti-stress program..

i do silly things under stress. im not at optimum condition under stress. i cant think straight, and sometimes, i cant walk straight. im paralyzed by stress. ohhh stop telling me i need to change. i have been changing ever since the day i was born.

its like saying to a meowing cat, you need to meow man. its like telling a barking dog to bark. or..to say "Look we have to boil the boiled water." HELLO? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR BRAIN? God gave you eyes and a brain for goodness sake. instead of telling me i need to change, why dont you use your God-given brain and tell me that my situation has to change?

You have a BRAIN right? You have a mouth right? even though it stinks! but still, its a mouth. if you cant accept me for my weaknesses i wont respect you for your strengths. you GONG or what? im sick and tired of all the nonsense.

im stressed. dont act like im perfect. i HATE people who think im ideal or perfect. IM NOT! im just a below average guy okay? Only God is perfect. If im sooooo ideal and perfect? are you gonna worship me then? no right? once again i cant stand people with no common sense!

if something doesnt work, it doesnt work. ARE YOU INSANE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!?! you are worse than people in the asylum! at least when something doesnt work, they try something else! sometimes i just feel like smashing people's heads. WAKE UP YOUR IDEA!

When you shit, you dont eat your own shit right? you clean it up! USE UR BLAIN, USE UR BLAIN!!!!!!! im not smarter, I JUST USE MY BRAIN MORE!

as for my assignments, im gonna take it easy. im not gonna cause unnecessary harm to myself anymore. i hardly talked to anyone this week so, yea..count me as someone who is deprived.

everyone's so busy, guess ill just mind my own business. o.o

i may not stand programming, but ill take it.