Perfect love drives out fear!

realli dunno wad to put for my title but tts wad ive experienced recently. this week i was on e verge of dryin up. somethin bad happened to me and its not e first time. indeed bad things do happen to gd ppl, i felt like...why mus it be me..? anger, fear, rejection and sense of loss began to stir up in me. i ended up hurting not jus myself but God, i confess, i did argue with him and expressed all my feelings to him, feelings like "why...", "its no use...", "im useless...etc..." i felt down and out and i know tt ive upsetted my Lord.

tt was when i realise how natural situations can get a hold of me easily, i realised how weak i was. tt night i returned to God but it didnt help much, or mebbe my mind was not right. this mornin durin service...God once again gave me a new encounter, i know im not perfect, i know im not as good as everybody else, but i know this, i know that God loves me, i know that God uses e most ordinary people to do extraordinary things. i know that as long as i stay close to Him, everything i do im gonna succeed, ill be blessed in my going in, blessed in my going out, i will be e head and not e tail, above and not beneath!

my heart was once again melted during service by God's love. durin prayer, praise, worship, even e message, i was moved to tears. ive nv felt such love and anointing and power for a long long long time. i knew tt God was ready to change me, and i know at tt moment, im ready. My life's and attitude towards God has changed after e message. im ready to face e world! :) i feel closer to God now...XD i began to have revelations upon revelations. knowin tt as long as i stay close to e house of God, nothing can overcome me, bcos greater is He who is in me, than he who is in e world! =)

so excited, cel grp is finally resuming this wk...e first cg in W318 in 2005! yea! :D and i can now go bible study at YMCA wif samuel and my cel grp frens, yea, finally i can see them for more than once a week...haha =) praise God! XD ill be takin my Laying Foundation Classes this wed...so excited, hee :D im gonna be stronger....:-)

im so happy for rachel tt she finally cleared her $200 debt with me after 2 months. i mus sae she did sth great being able to owe someone $200 and yet able to return such a huge amount. sth i could nv done...its more than jus clearin debts, its an accomplisment, a breakthru i feel...:D rach, uve raised my trust level to being able to lend ya $500 now..hahaha. i believe its never by might, nor by power, but by e spirit, knowing that all things will work out for e good of those who love him.

excited for my upcoming sound ministry trainin in march. and for CNY! yea! haha, gonna get an electric guitar + amp from baoie for only $230! =) but ive decided, im gonna bless him with an additional $20, makin tt $250. thank you baoie for e electric guitar in advance, more than that, thank you for being an exceptionally good cel grp guitarist, w/o u i wouldnt have got a touch frm heaven...:) tts my dream, to be able to lead ppl into e presence of God. still got a long way though, hee :D i realli wanna share my experiences with others :)