Frustrated.

I just feel as if Ive lost my sense of freedom.

Reality sets in.

2 years straight of FYPing, I have no break.
And now I have to work 8.30am to 6pm everyday until June.
Then enlistment..another 2 years plus in the Academy.

No time to do my morning situps, afternoon runs and evening quiet time.
Im supposed to be a part-timer, yet am working as if Im full-time.
Everyday I come home, tired and all I can think of is to sleep by 11pm.

I have 3 hours everyday to do what I want.

Saturday ministry, and service, whole day gone. Sunday, celgrp and fellowship, another day gone. Then the next day its work again. Its already sad enough that final year students have no holidays, their FYP starts immediately after the first semester exam.

And me having done my final year TWICE, its as good as 600 days without break.
Plus these 2 months that I have left, supposedly to take a break.

660 days without break.

Then 2 years of Academy, thats 960 days without break.
Plus the fact that some faggot put me in Pes BP, you can say Ive lived 1000 days without a decent break or a holiday.

How can any human being survive something like that?

Im starting to think, living one day in hell is so much better than a 1000 days here on earth without a break O_O.

Assuming I sleep after 11 and do midnight jog, Ill probably sleep at around 3 plus, then wake up at 6 plus. Not bad eh, 3hr sleep everyday for 2 whole months.

How can any human being survive?

Then after I ORD, either Im stuck at uni or back to work. Ill be so busy, Ill be single all my life, living everyday of my life with a panda face. O_O. No time to think about my future, no time to spend with God, no time to even breathe.

I wanna lose weight..sitting in e office whole day isnt gonna make me LOSE a single calorie. And then theres night time, where all the trees along e road leech away ur oxygen, and u exercise, breathing in carbon dioxide, causing your blood stream to be clotted with more CO2 than oxygen. You end up getting headaches and stomach problems the next morning.

And you hardly even sweat a drop, you touch your tummy after the run, it feels like a block of ice. Makes you wonder if you even lose a SINGLE calorie.

"Two months preparation for NS"...what preparation?

I want the heat, I want the sun, I want the morning 5BX training, the afternoon runs and the night gyms. I want the sweat and the adrenaline.

Having 3 hours of nighttime everyday isnt gonna help.