Rain, Presence

When you walk in the rain..you can cry and no one will be able to see you..

I knelt down in my room in tears..crying out to God..

The stress is unbearable..

Everyday passes by and im making no progress in my project.

I hate it..

I really do.

"If you dont know how to do, you can always ask us you know?" I felt so useless, everytime ask how to do, everytime ask for help...is there even something that I can achieve on my own without asking for help? Do i have to depend on people all the time? God im tired. I wanna accomplish this on my own, I dont believe I need to depend on people all the time, God, i wanna be able to say, "Yes, ive done it. My hard work have paid off.."

Thank God for people who can help. But I cant rely on people forever. Call me a perfectionist if you want..I just wanna get this over with. I wanna end the CURSE of PROGRAMMING! Programming ruined my life, ruined my future. Ive been stuck to it for 4 years now..

How I wish I could just be the hitman and assassinate Billgates..and end the IT era..

IM SICK AND TIRED OF NOT PROGRESSING!!!!!

IM SICK AND TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET!!!!!

I cant do programming ok! I cant! All these years im just SURVIVING! im not really living the programmer's life. BECAUSE I HATE PROGRAMMING! Gosh.

I wanna screeeeeaaaaammmmmmm!!!!