Memories of Nobody

okay, im a bit bored so ill just post some random stuff.

somehow i get e impression that people think im a really serious person..well..if you wanna rate seriousness out of 10, ill be 8/10.

i mean..im closer to God than my friends or family or whoever. and i think of God all the time. im starting to wonder, am i really that intimidating? haha. oh wells. i mean..i am a cg guitarist, and sometimes i wanna be your regular friend-friend guy as well..

okay, mebbe e anointing is too strong or whatever..haha..but deep down, i love to be treated the way you would treat everyone else, u know..joke..tease and all..dont have to be so 'formal'. lol.

btw, i dont really know who im talking to also. i just get this impression somehow. haha. anyway, yes..ive changed the song on my blog. this song is by the Bleach movie: Memories of Nobody. it is the ending theme song. yea..not bad..talks about love..i shall post the lyrics translation if i have the time. haha. its a beautiful song...

cg later @ wayne's house. i admit im a little nervous. yea..me..nervous..unbelievable right? lol. i was just viewing Nick Vujicic's photo gallery @ his site a few days ago..was so moved by it. IMO, he's e greatest human being alive today!

im gonna change my skin soon..my blogskin i mean..not my err..natural..skin. yeah. haha. what do you do when you're bored? watch winekone HAHA! TOL!

okay..i havent been talking to a single soul for 2 weeks now..as in really chat. im not talking abt msn, im talking IRL. guess im just one of a kind..like they always say, there is only ONE 'you' in the entire universe.

went to JP last night..played 2 bucks..then walked around. seeing people chatting, laughing, poking each other, eating, playing catching, and all..i dont know..maybe i dont have these kind of childhood the way these kids have..

when i was young, i was short, fat and ugly. i had low self esteem and i never talked to anyone. and when i talked, i dare not look at people in the eye. yeah..deprived childhood you can say. deprived socially. everyday i would go to school..geek my way through lessons and looked forward to the end of school.

im always e first few to leave the classroom after school and rush home..i hardly spend time with anyone, not even for lunch. ill just go home and get stuck with my computer games. because its only in those games that i get to meet nice people and have a good chat, good laugh..

and yes..my lanshop days..ill never forget..haha.

in other words, i had no social life outside cyberspace. the people in my games didnt know me back then..they didnt have to know how ugly and fat i looked. and i am still fat. i dont know..im not satisfied.

people tell me all the time..how much ive changed..but i dont seem to be satisfied..i never get enough..i wanna lose more weight, i wanna be even smarter, have more money, etc. call me a perfectionist if you want. its like..im never happy with what i have for some reason..yet at e same time i am extremely and easily grateful.

You can be happy, yet not satisfied.

i want so many things, yet i dont go after them. instead, i put aside my own interests and always putting others first. i know its good..but am i overdoing it? sometimes i wonder..

okay, im blank now..will blog again later.