Bored. Tired. Stressed. Dont care. Moodless.

For some reason, ive not been talking to anyone lately.

Stupid assignment..makes me totally moodless. For now, i just feel anti-social. I dunno how to start, i dunno what to do. My previous assignment i blew it. It was a solo assignment and for some reason both me and my friend thought it was a group assignment..

And only to realise it was individual and there was only one copy submitted. "If you want, you can either divide the grade by half or distribute the grades according to work done.."

I was stoned. I lost my mood..lost my passion..lost my dream..it was really nice of Sam to divide the assignment into half..and we both agreed. If we got a C and below, chances are we might fail.

2 As gone..looks like i wont be getting any A this sem..:(( Feeling damn emo now. How am i gonna play for CG? everytime its like that! im sick and tired of it! I havent touched my assignment which is due e following week..and e other assignment thats due this wk, i cant be bothered to finish it..

I CANT STAND IT! no matter how hard i try, STUPID CIRCUMSTANCES always take away my As!!!! i feel like screaming the f-word now..im sick and tired!!!!! DAMN SICK!!!! in my 4 years of poly..SCREW CIRCUMSTANCES.

First, i failed because my laptop was down, and they said: "Sorry, laptop breakdown is no excuse". Secondly, i failed because i missed the test, not because i woke up late..but because I thought it was the day after! When im stressed, i lose my brainpower..and now this assignment..and the previous one..im sick and tired..

i feel so helpless..so powerless..im giving in my A-effort, but screw it..i cant control circumstances..i cant control when my laptop is gonna fail me..i cant blame anyone for my STM, ya..im a sotong who doesnt know whats going on..

im always blur and lagging. God, why use me? look at me..i suck at everything..why choose me? there are so many smarter out there..there are so many more talented out there, more good looking out there, more richer out there..why me? God, why? T_T

im just sitting at my comp..stoning..im sick of programming..

ive been doing NOTHING productive except programming and re-learning stupid codes and programming languages!!! NO PRODUCTIVITY! NO PROGRESS! im sick of it, im tired of it! Screw IT..it changes every 2-3 years so what you learn become outdated/redundant..then they ask u learn something new..

THATS CHILD ABUSE I TELL YOU! YOU ROB ME OF MY FUTURE! YOU MAKE ME GO IN CIRCLES ONLY TO COME BACK AT THE SAME SPOT!

I see people graduating, i see people going into army..and what am i doing? PROGRAMMING! 2 years ago, i already told myself..i wanna quit! ive endured for 2 long years..those days where i had 400 days WITHOUT BREAK!

yes..400 days without break..did one whole semester..then final exam, then immediately after the exam, is 5-6months of FYP which i blew..NO BREAK! Give me a bomb and i will bomb Billgates' palace or something..

i feel like breaking down now..i cannot take it anymore..im afraid i might lose all my brain and end up at woodbridge or something..totally retarded and vegetized. 4 years of insanity..not only its driving me nuts, yes im becoming more lamer..why?

not because i like to joke coldly..IM TIRED OF IT, dont you get it!?! its getting to me. and NAPFA is calling me. tell u e truth..i feel very lonely now..

life will never be the same again..

who will hang around someone who's cold and emo all the time?
who will hang around someone who's broke?
who will hang around someone who's dreams are destroyed?
who will hang around someone who does nothing but camp at his comp whole day?

there are people out there more fun, more goodlooking, more talented..have a brighter future. you will never see me as someone whos fun to hang out with..never. i hardly speak and i keep to myself. i just wanna give up now..