Weird day

today's been pretty dead. im supposed to do my gantt chart and come up with a working database by tmr and i cant seem to get anything out of my head. thanks josh for mapping the database layout for me. =)

ive been staring at a blank ms visio screen for 2 hours now...cant seem to get started. feels like im frozen, how i wish someone would jus come and inject passion into me. but imputed/forced passion is not applicable or doesnt make sense...

2 strange things happened to me today..

first was during e afternoon, as i dozed off, i saw myself in my rm with ppl arnd me...supposedly my cg members...and one of them, picks up my electric guitar and plays with it. unknowingly the guitar slipped off her fingers and as it landed on e floor, e entire neck came off.

i felt my heart sank down e pacific ocean for a moment...it was like a dream dying...my eyes became wet as i lay on my be motionless, deep in thoughts...and one tiny drop flowed down my face...before i realised what had happened in my imagination...

i quickly snapped out of it and went to kitchen to wash my face and grab a cup of water as i sat on my lappy again...not knowing what to do...i played AVP2PH and even watched e AVP movie again...at e same time, stoning there waiting for someone to chat with me on MSN...hoping to get that horrible feeling off me...

the second thing that happened, happened a few minutes ago...again as i was chatting with pam halfway, i lay on my bed again. this time i remembered josh's experience as a stagecrew, when he was at e wrong place at e wrong time and he got scolded by pastor kong and the emotions he felt when that heppened...

and now again my imagination went loose as i saw MYSELF in josh's shoes now...in the same incident..and that feeling was soo bad it felt as if i was at the lowest of the lowest of the deepest pit, and my heart sank once again...i remembered having feelings of 'stunness', and i saw myself, running away from that place of incident...

and again as i snapped out of it...i lay on my bed motionless feeling stunned and low, and a drop of tear flowed down my face again...feels like another dream jus died...and now im blogging and chatting, hoping to get tt feeling off me soon, and to start on my gantt chart and database...but im still stuck...frozen...and 'immobilized'....

i need the fire of the Holy Spirit!!!!!!! tmr i have to submit so many things...*frozen... easter, easter, easter....ahhh, ahhh, ahhh....*stunned...