STRESSSS even though exam left 2 papers...

my IHP proposal and TOR havent done yet, and its like 2 weeks overdue. very irritating, IHP is in SEMESTER FIVE! now havent even finished with sem4 exams and 2 weeks before it does mus submit those kind of documents, 5-10 pages tt kind, mebbe even more.

how to study? T_T already my C programming is at failing point and i have to worry abt my IHP and if thats not enough, i still have frens-conn to take care of. which occurs in e middle of my exams and ironically the start of my 20 weeks of IHP too, which ironically again, doesnt start until -2 weeks later...which means...yea, theres totally no logic....talk about reasonable expectations...*faint

also, currently im trying to get a new accoustic guit frm bao's fren, and at e same time, quickly finish my guitar lessons cus cg is in need of a new cgguit. which is VERY SOON! but at least its something i enjoy doing, but rushing something tt u enjoy might jus end up being sth else on ur shoulders. =x

if dats not bad enough, i have no break for the next 20-25 weeks. yeah! so exciting! so many things...no time, no reasonable expectataions and no break. now i really wish someone could clone me or something...now i know with God all things are possible, and im still holding on to tt promise. but currently my situation is as if Jesus had to be born and crucified on e same day, or u have to retire the day you start work...

i love pressure, pressure moulds me...but this isnt pressure that mould, but pressure tt deforms and breaks. and its beginning to affect my mood seriously...jus now i couldnt take it any longer esp when ure doing ur best to study hard and at e same time please Daddy God and someone close to you has to INSIST that ure doing something else, other than wad ure supposed to do.

yes, i blew jus now. and it wasnt nice. in fact, nothings nice at the moment. other than the love of God. i jus feel like stopping wadever im doing and start over...i dont like messed up situations. instead of wasting time and energy to improve and try to sort things out, im those kind who would prefer to start off clean and new...and tt leads me to not being able to study well..it just keeps getting messier...

right now e only thing tt excites me is tmr's BS. cant wait for it. this afternoon went to JP with tony, man it seems like ages since we last met. had a good time with him...man, we shld get together one of these days for a gaming party or something lols...

tmr is SA paper at 9am, hope i dun wake up late and blow everything again...and hope i dun feel nauseous again, which i always do whenever i wake up early...T_T

well...one word describes this entire blog post....'moodless'...