Late Night Fellowship; NUS Musical, Updates

Went to see the NUS Law04 Musical : Worlds Apart with Evangeline and Dong Yan. Evangeline and I have been online friends for ages, until I forgot how we first got to know each other (most prob imeem), dongyan, her friend, I only got to know yesterday only haha.

Scarily, Ive never met either of them in person before, at all! HAHA. So happened that yan who has affiliation with Teen Challenge, managed to get tickets and Evangeline asked me if I wanted to see the musical, so I said, I wouldnt mind.

Initially, none of us knew what musical we were in for haha. So funny. And I didnt know Bt Timah had a NUS campus! o.o Almost got lost haha, but anyway, thank God for security guards. :D

Wasnt so bad, 3.5-4/5. Got some funny parts and some which are just 'fillers', haha but creative nonetheless. Must really applaud them for their hard work, to put up a 2hr+ long musical. Even church drama alone is at most 1hr+.

Both of them are younger than me and they're like SOT grads, me? I lao jiao, but still serving NS, felt a bit inferior and intimidated lol. All the while, Ive been thinking, what am I doing? Im coming to 23 in a few months time and Im still serving NS! :(

Sigh..wanna find a girl around the same age as me who's spiritually compatible also very hard. Cus Im the only joker lagging behind. All my friends have ORDed, all my friends are either working, in uni, or attached, whether is it same age, or even just 2-3 years, all of them have gone ahead of me..

So when, there's once I liked someone 5 years younger than me, the people who knew it got shocked. Yea, thats because you take your life for granted. You dont understand what Im going through, you're just happy that your life is blessed, and thats it. I try my best to be strong and keep fighting the fight of faith when deep down, Im just a shattered pot glued together many times over, and in a nice and presentable way.

You have no idea how it feels like to grow up with nobody to talk to, nobody to play with, nobody to hang out with, and with everybody else leaving you behind. You have cliques, you always have people to go out with, but you hardly even THANK GOD FOR IT! Because you just take it as a normality of life, that you assume, having friends and people to relate to is something natural and basic.

Not for me, to me it's a walk of faith, a fight of courage.

What you freely have, I fought for it.

But I still thank God, for last night. After the musical met up with another guy, Jaydee. Really great guy. We sat at macs and talked about having partners, hear them share their SOT experiences, different personality types, our needs, requirements and wants, hearing JD shares his security experiences with pastor, etc haha.

I just sat there, inspired, hungry, desperate, yet there's nothing I could do cus Im still stuck in NS. Even in my cg, the 'remaining' bunch will enrol next year into SOT, which leaves me the last one to enrol, and Ill prob enrol alone, with nobody I know. Haha..SO EXPECTED.

All my life, its been like that. But I just tolerate and suffer in silence, and still have the guts to encourage others even though sometimes I myself is in need of that very same breakthrough..

Anyway, I reached home at 3 last night haha. Just came back from ahma's house. Prayed for her, then went to the neighbour and prayed for him.

Thank God, when I prayed for ahgong stage 4 cancer, he got discharged. When ahma fell, I prayed, she got discharged, on two occasions and a sickness she has suffered for years, which we didnt even know, got healed miraculously. And now, the uncle with pancreatic cancer, I believe too, that there will be breakthrough.

I dont care if Im not SOT trained, if God moves, I will flow. I may not know how to pray for the sick or cast out demons, but the little that I have, love and faith and obedience, will become much in the Master's hands.

Yet at the same time, Im not satisfied, seeing cancer patients getting discharged is not enough, I want more, Im still hungry to be SOT-trained, not just to heal, not just to deliver, but to tear down the kingdom of darkness!

Satan, Im just waiting for a chance to get back at you. Dont provoke me, dont tempt or test me, because greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world! You stir up the wrong emotions, you're gonna get it!

Satan is weak! Why? He created the spirit of weakness ma!!! HAHAHAH! What a noob!

You wanna succeed in winning the war against God when you created the spirit of failure and error? Come on, you think I was born yesterday? Give me a break. Go eat your kitkat and stay out of my life!