Celgrp

celgrp was so-so for me. screwed up 3 times during praise and worship. damn demoralised. 1 is not enough..the 2nd time, i didnt feel like playing anymore..the 3rd time it happened. i didnt bother anymore..i wanted to give up.

im damn tired. im damn stressed. ive been 9-5-ing everyday, sometimes even till 6 at night. then play for 2 celgrps a week. then later on have to serve to replace a friend. i dont mind serving..its just that im destroying myself..not enough sleep everyday..improper meals everyday..

this morning i woke up..i was sick. im stil very tired. last night during cg i was dozing off. my eyes couldnt open. this morning i woke up..my eyes hurt when i opened them. my nose is jammed..throat and all..and slightly feverish

i look like an undead now. =/ i dont know how im gonna serve later. doing comms at house (center)..im wondering if ill manage to decipher the comms..or am i gonna lag. cus i feel very lethargic..i feel physically weak..

for me to smile now is like running 2.4km. its tiring just to even smile..im tired..im sick..im stressed. amazingly im not depressed yet..=/

if i dont feel myself breaking through today during service becos im serving..i might go tomorrow's one as well. i dun wanna miss out on anything..even though i feel weak and sick and dont feel like talking to anybody.

i lay on my bed in tears..im at the end of myself..sometimes when ure in a high position..it gets lonely at times. when people look up to you..and they regard you as a role model..sometimes its hard to turn to anyone when ure down..

its hard to find people whose spiritual level is equal if not higher than you..other than adam.

i dont know..God im happy just to be counted worthy to serve..even if it costs me my life..i will go all out for You..