...

i yelled at my brother in front of my mum today...

i give up...

i cant bothered anymore...

jus pretend i dont have a brother, maybe life would be happier that way...

you can feel the adrenaline pumping, the hype and 'excitement' it gets when u release anger on someone, how i remember i used to be addicted to such 'anger rush', u can feel e heart pumping, e blood vessels boiling and bursting. it feels like dying...u can feel e power of death

i was soooo addicted to it, i would remember i always wanted more, anger is not enough, must have violence, and how i remember i used to have a craving for violence and sometimes bloodshed to make myself feared.

i dont want to go back that dark path, in Christ im a new creation now. i dont wanna bother myself with proBlems anymore. this one, i refuse to continue. itll only make my life shorter and more miserable. ill jus leave it alone and hopefully he changes.