2009 Year-End Reflections

Many people are doing, or rather, posting about their reflections, sorry I dont have any pictures. So Ill get straight to the point.

2009? Is a very strange year for me.
Apart from serving my NS. I went through 2 funerals back to back over a distance of maybe, 2 months+? I cant remember also.

2009 has been a year of sacrifice for me.
A year of giving.
But sadly, more than all of these, its also the year when I lost the most.

Im not gonna list down what and who Ive lost, if you're the one then God will tug at your heart. Not me, haha, Im just a servant of His, doing my best with the little that I have.

2009 has also been a year or revelation for me.

Thank God for the words He spoke.
More than ever, I receive the most revelations when Im broken or emotionally hurt. Why? I dont know, ask my Maker lol.

They say when you break a heart, what is really inside a person really shows, and that you will never know the depth of your character, until you see how you react under pressure.

It seems that when my heart is cracked, revelations come out, sacrifice and giving, becomes part of my lifestyle despite my circumstances, despite the people around me.

Many of us are familiar with unconditional love.
Why not take it to another level of UNCONDITIONAL OBEDIENCE?

People say, 'Oh, its so hard to account to my leaders, why should I do this, why should I do that', etc. But obedience is the ability to quickly do it and not ask anything.

Dont ever reason obedience, you cant.
God is not against reason, He is beyond reason.

Thats what faith is all about. And without faith, it is impossible to please God.

Someone asked, Andrew, you know you have little, why do you still give so much?

I dont know. Its just in my programming. When Im emo or depressed, the only way I feel better is through giving. Then again, the wrong people will end up 'contaminating' something that's good. I love to give. If I had 1,000,000 right now, Ill keep half, the rest I'll give 100,000 each to my 2 parents, 1 brother, 1 cgl/people within the cg and my best friend. Not forgetting a 100,000 tithe.

Yet its okay to give, even to those who dont deserve it. Why?
If anyone possesses that which belongs to God, it becomes a curse to them.
So its okay, I just bless them. God handles the rest. ;) hahaha.

For those who gave me little cards or notes, I keep every single one of them.
For those who had a meal with me, you are WISE. Hahaha.

I had someone guess my primary love lang, he said, WOA, since i dont talk a lot and Im more of a thinker/feeler.

Close, but not so close. WOA is my secondary love lang.

My primary love lang is QT. Quite rare for a guy. I guess Im a man at physique but woman at heart haha. For some reason I get along better with girls than guys, maybe cus Ive never had a sister before and there's that gap in my heart for that companionship, I never had the luxury of protecting someone, giving to someone, and especially LISTENING to someone, etc.

You do that kind of affection to a guy, he'll think you're gay, or at least, not fully man? lol.
Okay, my other 3 love lang is: PT, GG, AoS. (in order).

Back to QT, even jus sitting down for 4 hours, listening to a girl rant her heart out, can become romantic for me. Thats quality time. Many times we just wanna have fun, go movies, go here, go there, do this, do that, but there' no connection spirit to spirit.

You merely interacting with the outer shell of the person. E.g. the person might wanna watch a movie to forget about his/her problems, so you tag along. You have the fun, you have the time spent, but you're not connected to his/her spirit, dealing with that hurt, sharing that hurt..everything is so external. Thats why friendships dont deepen.

Oh well, I cant thank God enough for always being there for me.

Just came back from thanksgiving cg. It was awesome. Which cg, will have its own video crew, sound crew, dual guitarists and even our own lighting and discoball! And it was all done in a living room! :D

Really wanna thank everyone who had put in a lot of effort.
Even for myself, I woke up at 6 to reach work at 8 plus, had a headache (first time in 6 months, thats how stressed I am :S) since 3pm+ till now, 3am+.

THE FAITHFUL AWARD - "There are three things that will endure – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love."

Thank you everyone who made it possible. :) If Im not wrong, last year I got the same award lol. Anyway, thats my personal revelation of who God is to me. He is faithful, even when we were faithless.

As much as friends and family are concerned, I tried my best to be faithful, even when some were faithless. Its hard, but thats what it means to be like God and I really wanna thank Him for the opportunity to live out, what being faithful really meant, and of course, for the award.

The greatest in the kingdom of God is not a man of faith, nor a man of hope, but a man of love. And love is the desire to benefit others at the expense of self.

It's not the obligation to benefit others at the expense of self, but a DESIRE.

I may have fallen short in other areas in my life, but one thing's for sure today, I am still here. Like how Elisha followed Elijah even though Elijah said, its okay..you dont need to follow me. Elisha in a way, even 'disobeyed' Elijah, at the end of his life, Elijah asked, why....why have you followed me all this way, even though I told you not to?

And Elisha made a powerful statement...'I want a double portion'.
At the end, he didnt just receive Elijah's blessings, but his INHERITANCE as well, WITH INTEREST!

You will never get a double portion by working harder or sacrificing more. I like what Adam said, He became a leader, not because of his own talents or abilities, but because he chose to hang around pastor.

Who are the people around you today?
Whether good or bad, they will unlock your destiny for 2010.

For some, Ive pressed the ENTER button.
For some, Ive pressed the RESET button.
For some, Ive pressed the DELETE button.

2010 will be a year of change! =)